We may be losing brain cells simply by watching the Jersey Shore maniacs on a weekly basis, but that’s certainly not stopping us. We’re also not deterred by the fact that only lasting storylines seem to be Mike’s obsession with proving Snooki hooked up with him and the bromantic ballad of Vinny and Pauly D. And as luck (or cruel, cruel fate) would have it, those two storylines are also the only ones that never seem to change. Every week, Mike brings the Unit around and threatens to expose Snooki but it never happens. And you know what, Mike? We no longer care. Luckily, there were a few other choice moments to help ease the journey through all-too familiar territory.
Though Snooks would rather take her morning to punch Mike in the face, she ultimately decides going to the doctor to treat that pesky UTI (the one that “forced” her to pee her pants). There’s just one big problem: she’s not supposed to drink on antibiotics. The doctor says she can get away with one, so naturally, she starts the night with birthday shots and proceeds to order an I.V. drip of Long Island Iced teas. It’s a wonder she’s not always sick.
Mike is More Interested in Proving He Hooked Up With Snooki Than Wifing Up Paula
Despite spending the evening of Paula’s birthday making her feel special and giving her birthday sex, Mike still won’t bite. Again, he delivers the “it just might happen…someday” spiel. Note to girls: if you’re hooking up with a guy for three years without being exclusive and you still think he “makes you feel special,” you’re probably hooking up with Mike. Run as fast as you can.
Pauly D + Vinny 4EVA
It’s nothing out of the ordinary, but these two are just so adorable. After completing the GTL trifecta, they go on a man date. And when Vinny loses his car keys, Pauly knows just where to find them. It’s like he’s the yin to Vinny’s yang. How about a spin-off? You Complete Me: Yeeeah Buddy.
Not Even Snooki’s Snooping Can Keep Deena From Getting Her Smush On
When Deena brings home her latest romantic interest, Snooki and Jenni take the opportunity to make him as uncomfortable as possible. Did he bring a condom? Does he plan on breaking Deena’s heart? Can Snooki watch? She weasels her way into the room despite the fact that it’s an incredible intrusion, but it doesn’t seem to slow Deena down. The next day, she claims to have thrown her back out. Right. Sounds like a case of humblebragitis.
Jenni’s Tiny Triangles Get Roger in Trouble
After they fought last week, Roger and Jenni have made amends because as it turns out, Roger isn’t a big baby like every other man Jenni’s ever dated. But when he finally comes over to see her, she’s dressed like a Xena Warrior Princess stripper and the glorified handkerchief of a dress causes an issue or two at Karma. In the last few seconds of the episode, some grabby drunk guy starts touching Jenni like he’s got some sort of death wish – can he not see that Roger is huge? And over-protective? Needless to say, Jenni’s lack of a dress soon gets Roger into hot water – and for the conclusion of this brawl, we’ll have to wait until next week.