S5E2: Let me just say how nice it is to be able to sit back and relax on my Thursday nights and watch the tom foolery that is the Jersey Shore. Seriously, sometimes you just need to shut your brain off and let just a bunch of nonsense fill your head. Some people call it pointless, I call it relaxing and this show is the perfect way to quench my thirst for this particular vice. So, what sort of ridiculous antics did our favorite housemates get into this week? Check out some of the best (and most noteworthy) moments of the night.
5. Jionni and Mike Develop a Bromance
No, I’m not kidding. They’re borrowing clothes from each other, cooking scrambled eggs together — basically acting like they’re total BFFs and it’s making Snooki nervous. She’s afraid that if the two of them spend too much time together Mike will end up doing something stupid (like he always does). Perhaps she’s nervous Mike will say something about their little supposed hook up, which we still aren’t sure actually happened. Either way, it’s your classic “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” type of move, which I’m sure is eventually come to a head. It always does in Seaside.
4. Jionni Doesn’t Want Snooki To Be Snooki
Jionni’s really getting on Snooki’s case about her partying ways and wants her to stop drinking so much. Hello? Does he even know Snooki? This is what she does! She goes to bars, dances on the tables, shows people her ass, starts talking about nonsensical things (like chicken cutlets), and then passes out. It’s a routine we’ve all grown to love, but Jionni can’t seem to get on the bandwagon about it. Sure enough, they all go out to Karma, Snooki gets drunk and SUPRISE Jionni isn’t happy about it. Not cool man. It’s like asking a bird not to fly.
3. Vinny: He’s Just Like Us!
Vinny’s still suffering from major anxiety, which makes him late to work. He goes to talk to his boss about his anxiety problems and describes how it’s quickly escalating into a serious depression. Apparently, he’s been feeling this way ever since they left Italy. What I don’t get is the fact that he talked to his boss about it and not someone from the house. Memo to Vinny: don’t tell your boss that you’re not right in the head. It could prevent you from getting a paycheck. And it’s not like he’s the only one that ever feels anxiety. I mean it’s a pretty common thing in life to have ups and downs, but it must be pretty serious because even Snooki couldn’t cheer him up.
2. Pauly D Is The Victim of Post-Hook-Up Theivery
The title kind of speaks for itself, but basically Pauly D meets a girl, they hookup, and then she steals his favorite diamond chain. So, of course, after she leaves, Pauly searches high and low for his missing bling, but to no avail. However, by morning, the chick returns wearing his chain around her neck. Obviously it was a ploy to come back and see Pauly again. Well played – although Pauly may now want to think about developing some sort of post-smush frisk system from now on.
1. Vinny ACTUALLY Leaves
It’s been building up to this since the beginning of the season. After careful consideration, Vinny decides it’s time for him to leave the house. He believes that his depression is being caused from his environment (the partying, the drinking, the drama, etc.) and decides he needs to either give it all up completely or remove himself from it entirely. He calls his sister and says he wants her to come pick him up. You can tell it really hits Pauly hard since Vinny’s not only his roommate, but his best friend as well. The whole gang knows life won’t be the same without him, although I have a feeling he’ll be back at some point. We haven’t seen the last of him…or at least I hope not.
So what do you think of Vinny leaving? Do you think he made the right decision? Sound off in the comments below!