‘Jersey Shore’ Recap: Girls Like That

S2:E11 This Jersey Shore episode started with everyone was celebrating Angelina’s departure from the house and from Miami in general. The Situation and Pauly D. deconstructed her bed and tossed it out of their room so they could have more space to use for exercising and having sex with girls right up against each other. Vinny went out and bought live lobsters to prepare a nice meal for everyone in honor of the occasion, but Snooki and JWoww bonded to one and decided to name him Charlie and save him from his troubling fate. They took him out of the kitchen and into their bedroom, where they dropped him in a bowl of freshwater that killed him almost instantly, since he much prefers salt water.

Sammi felt completely alone in the house now that Angelina left, who for some reason she considered her ally in the fight against Snooki and JWoww over integrity and honesty. Snooki apologized to Sammi for writing the note and expressed an interest in moving forward, and Sammi agreed to do so but only if JWoww had nothing to do with it. Then JWoww sat down on the couch and Snooki attempted to help the two of them bond with each other by suggesting they all go get their nails done together and drink vodka. JWoww even apologized to Snooki (which Sammi did not accept), and now Snooki will spend the next two episodes being the bridge over troubled water.

Vinny was supposed to go to the beach with Ramona, the flake’s flake who he met in a club and stood him up when they were supposed to go on a double date with Pauly and some other girl. He packed a bunch of drinks (two) and a bunch of glasses (plastic ones) and piled them in a cooler and waited for her to show up. Unfortunately, she was very late in arriving, so as a preemptive measure to ensure he wouldn’t spend the afternoon by himself, Vinny called two other girls and told them to come hang out with him at the house. But the second he put down the phone after speaking with them, Ramona called and said she was having trouble finding the house. So what does he do? He calls the other girls and tells them not to come over because he wants to go to Yale Law School. Instead, he went to be with the girl who “keeps things interesting.” They had a pretty good time together, and Vinny racked up some points when he told Ramona to wrap her Chihuahua in his towel after they all went swimming in the ocean.

The next day, Snooki’s friend Ryder arrived at the house and they went out for margaritas that each had two open and upside down bottles of Corona mixed in them. That night they went out with everyone and The Situation acted particularly obnoxious and aggressive with every girl in the club. Sammi and Ronnie looked on from a booth somewhere and remarked at how much of an idiot he was being. When The Situation is finally ready to leave, he searched the club for all of his other roommates so he could bring them home with him, but some of them aren’t ready to leave yet (Snooki). She was belligerent drunk, and in order to try and get her to leave with him, The Situation picked her up and carried her towards the door. She liked very little of that, and when she was back on the ground, she cursed him out and told him to take his Chippendales outfit outside and leave her alone.

The next night, the same thing happened: everyone had fun for a little bit but then Ramona showed up and things got typhoid fever unpleasant. Of course she greeted Vinny and acted like his girlfriend, but the second Vinny went to go get a drink or the bathroom or something and left her by herself. The Situation swiftly swooped in and started flirting with her.

So when Vinny came back from the bathroom, he was shocked to see his friend making the moves on Ramona. Once Vinny reclaimed her, he went and sat on a couch by himself, pouted, and cleaned his watch’s face. Finally, he went over to Snooki and tried to make out with her since he didn’t have any female companions. AND THEN, he smacked her in the mouth when she didn’t kiss him back. The episode ended with all of the roommates doing voice overs with how differently and negatively The Situation has been acting lately. How dare he pull mute business when we have only two more episodes to figure out which is our favorite quote of his and put it on a mousepad to use at our offices?