S2:E3 Sundays are for serial killers! Didn’t Confucius say that? I’m pretty sure he did. And last night’s Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami proved the old guy right!
The episode started with Khloe interviewing a police officer about serial killers. Khloe explained she’s deeply fascinated by them, and the cop went from feeling safe in the radio studio to being so freaked out by Khloe his retro little sheriff’s badge was clinking in fear against itself. After the police officer checked to make sure he was leaving the studio with his gun safe in his holster and his brain still nestled in his skull, Khloe asked her boss if she could interview a real serial killer for the show. She displayed such an interest in conducting the interview that her boss knew he’d either have to offer his life to her, or get her some one-on-one time with Buffalo Bill’s twenty-first century equivalent.
Then we got a little peak inside Scott’s most recent endeavor, which seems to be coming up with ways of shining geometric shapes on the club’s ceiling using different colored light bulbs. He took Kourtney and Mason to see his work digs, but of course he didn’t do it to show them how hard he’s working: he did it to ask Kourtney if she could help him fill the place with hot chicks from her clothing store, D-A-S-H, when they have their “soft” opening! Kourtney said she’d prefer to keep her professional life separate from her personal life. Scott was, of course, disappointed, but admitted he’d try and let Kourtney keep her hot girls to herself. But remember: technicalities only exist for us to get away with them!
So off Khloe and Kourtney went to the peculiar city of Chicago to interview a forensic specialist who had glass slides of John Wayne Gacy’s brain. (Note: I think you’ll find this was a much better episode than last week’s bikini-waxing one.) Khloe whipped out her tape recorder and things got all Dateline Investigates in our faces. After Khloe held Gacy’s brain in a sandwich baggie and compared it to a hamburger patty (both of our July 4ths are ruined now), she asked what the difference was between a sociopath and a serial killer. Turns out it’s easy: sociopaths have no empathy or conscience. This reminded Khloe of Scott, Kourtney’s boyfriend and father of her child. Khloe left the interview ready to mimic the triumphant sculpture on the specialist’s desk and engage in some “good versus evil” swordplay with Scott.
While Kourtney and Khloe were in Chicago, Scott’s DJ friends from New York arrived in Miami to help him celebrate the “soft” opening of his club. After the guys somewhat trashed Kourtney and Khloe’s comped room with Coke cans, Scott took his friends to see D-A-S-H. They pointlessly pawed the merchandise and invited the employees to the club shindig the next night and they agreed to show up, not knowing Kourtney had told Scott she wasn’t keen on the idea of them going. The next night, before the opening, the D-A-S-H employees came to the apartment Scott shares with Kourtney and Khloe to pregame! Scott was “shocked” the girls didn’t just meet up with them at the opening, but didn’t spend too long worrying about it…because what makes an octagon an octagon is much more troublesome.
Kourtney and Khloe returned from Chicago and went straight to D-A-S-H, where they found the employees pouring over pictures on Facebook from Scott’s soft-serve opening. Kourtney was shocked to learn Scott invited the girls out with him, but they clarified it was his friends who shelled out the invites. The Kardashian sisters knew better — getting his friends to ask the girls to the party was really Scott’s doing! And unfortunately for Kourtney, manipulation and charming deceit are two of the biggest aspects of what makes a serial killer able to enjoy lampshades made of skin and eyelashes! The girls raced back the apartment to see it in a much bigger state of disarray than I previously described. Apparently, things were on the floor and there was some spillage on the glass tables! Kourtney went into the bedroom and confronted Scott about doing the exact opposite of what she said, which was to keep her professional life and her personal life separate from one another. Scott didn’t think he did anything wrong, other than “omitting” parts of the truth…just like serial killers OMIT the fact they tortured dogs as children to police!
Everyone was still alive by the end of the episode, which means we’ll just have to tune in next week to see if Scott’s done anything weird like make breakfast for Kourtney or take Mason to see one of his little friends from the playground. Because that’s when the real trouble starts — because everyone knows the only thing serial killers hate more than needy babies and unpressed shirts is food in the morning.