‘Mad Men’ Preview Predictor: “You Can’t Tell Anymore”

ALTEven though I’m still reeling from last night’s game-changing episode of Mad Men (Peggy’s heartbreaking exit, Joan’s gut-wrenching career move, Pete once and for all trumping Game of Thrones‘ Joffrey as the most reprehensible character on television) I have to soldier on. After all, there’s only two (!) episodes left of Season 5 and I have to soak in every moment of it. In fact, the most recent purposefully vague teaser trailer felt downright electric after watching those last five minutes of “The Other Woman.” You really got me, Mad Men

So despite my somewhat abysmal track record with the Mad Men Preview Predictor, I’m going to play the guessing game again. Let’s breakdown the snippets from the preview for next week’s Season 5 penultimate episode. 
Don: Don is pulling double duty in this week’s Mad Men Preview Predictor, the first with his cryptic request to wife Megan, “You can’t tell anyone.” Can’t tell anyone she’s actually in the 60s because she jumped in a Hot Tub Time Machine? Probably not. My guess is that losing Peggy to rival ad company CGC was a blow to not only Don’s ego, but Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce’s image and Mr. Draper wanted to keep the shocking news under wraps for as long as possible. (Aside: Peggy is nowhere to be found in this trailer, but I’m not buying into the Internet rumors that Emmy-bound Elisabeth Moss Peggy is gone for good. It would be too detrimental a blow to Mad Men to lose her. End aside.) Don’s second line in the trailer is similar to something he uttered last night: “I don’t like what we’re doing here.” How could he with what his partners agreed to to snag the Jaguar account? By next week the sour taste in Don’s mouth about what Joan did likely hasn’t subsided and he can’t get behind Jaguar yet. 

Lane: Oh, those saucy Brits. So debonair, so witty, so damn hard to understand. If you can guess whether money-swindling Lane said “I’m sure there are honors more deserving” or “I’m sure the heart is more deserving” you win two tickets to a cricket match. Cheerio! 
Joan: “Were you celebrating with Don?” asks Joan in the teaser. With Peggy firmly out the door, that means there’s a vacancy. A vacancy that could filled by Ginsberg, who could be celebrating said promotion with his stoic boss. 
Roger: “If you’re drinking with a purpose.” Wait, doesn’t everyone drink with a purpose? Particularly everyone at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. 
Bert: “You know, you can’t keep being the good little boy while the adults run this business.” Wait, there’s a “good” boy at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce? Since Roger “Drinks With a Purpose” Sterling has done anything but help run his business over the past season, I’ve got to imagine Coop directed this zinger his way. 
Watch the trailer here and leave your guesses for what’s going to happen in next week’s episode, based solely on the trailer, in the comments section below.