Making Sense of ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Season Premiere

Vampire DiariesThe CW

The Vampire Diaries spends most of its time trying to shock audiences. In most cases, it succeeds, but TVD sometimes gets trapped in the typical pitfalls of teen television, like sending two main characters to college. They’re vampires, why the f**k are they in college? Anyway, we’re counting down the best and worst parts of the Season 5 premiere.

The Best: 
1. Elena is back: Remember how much you hated smart-a** and b**chy Elena? Well, she’s officially back to being her old, sweet self. She and Caroline are moving into college (we’ll get to that later) and Elena is all happy-co-ed-carrying-her-laundry-basket-around-campus. Maybe it’s all the sex she’s having with Damon (we’ll get to that too) or maybe it’s turning Katherine human that did it. Either way, we’re so glad that the Elena we love is back, (though she is still rockin’ that strand of red in her hair…hmm).  

2. Katherine is human: There is no better feeling for a TV viewer than to see a character get exactly what they deserve. Throughout Season 4, Katherine wanted nothing more in life than to have ultimate Silas-status immortality. So, when Elena forced the cure down her throat and turned her human, it was so much better than seeing her just die. Thankfully, Katherine is just as miserable as we’d hoped and predicted. The usually immaculate doppelgänger appears in the premiere looking disheveled, dirty, and utterly sick of being human. That one moment alone makes the premiere worth watching. 

3. Stefan is Silas, and everybody knows:When I realized Silas was Stefan’s doppelgänger (are we sick of this word yet?) I was positive that TVD would play up the Silas-acting-as-Stefan schtick for as long as they could. However, the show surprised me when, not even 10 minutes in, Silas revealed himself to Sheriff Forbes, and did so by cutting her arm and drinking her blood, in public! Silas then ruined my glee when he erased the memory from her mind. Thankfully, he later redeemed himself when he strode up the microphone in the town center, explained who he was, and killed Bonnie’s father in front of everyone. We’re happy to have a proper villain back in Mystic Falls, even if I wish he wasn’t a Stefan double. 

4. Jeremy is still a bada**: Not only are we happy to have Jeremy back, (remember that little “I’m dead” story line he had for a while?) he is still the powerful hunter we love. For a few seconds there, we thought he was completely whipped by ghost Bonnie, doing all her errands and typing all her emails. But, to give him the benefit of the doubt, Bonnie can’t do those things, because well, she is a ghost. But still, man-up Jeremy. No worries, he eventually gets in a fight at school, get expelled, gets bloodied in a car crash, and rubs his muscles when he gets a feeling in his hunter’s tattoo. Thanks for coming back dude. 

5. Damon and Elena get together, finally!: While many will say Damon and Elena have been together for a while, we have to remember that Elena spent most of last season being an utter b**ch and dealing with all her “I hate being a vampire” problems. In this episode, Elena and Damon have sex everywhere in the Salvatore house, call each other incessantly, and constantly say, “I love you.” For fans who have been waiting years for a proper relationship for these two, they have finally found it in Season 5. 

The Worst: 
1.  Caroline and Elena go to college: I can practically hear TVD writers regretting this decision. Let’s recap, Caroline and Elena are vampires. Vampires eat humans, live forever, and apparently in Mystic Falls, deal with a ton a otherworldly enemies that continually show up. So, what’s the next step? According to TVD, it’s go to college. When the girls show up to their room (which is a ridiculously large and beautiful dorm) they are surprised to find they have another roommate. They just assumed they could drink their blood bags and do vampire-y things alone, but now they have another pair of eyes watching their every move. Oh, the drama. Luckily, the roommate issue doesn’t last too long, as she is killed by the end of the first episode. Girls, did you really believe you could escape into normalcy just by moving into a dorm? Please remember that you’re from Mystic Falls

2. Tyler isn’t back: Caroline spends most of the episode leaving voicemails on Tyler’s phone (kind of like last season). She insists he come to school and play out the collegiate dream with her. However, Tyler breaks her heart when he says he’s not coming back and is instead going to continue to help some werewolf pack. While usually Tyler isn’t a huge part of the plot, this season needs to have a few more familiar faces. When the CW created The Originals, they pulled Klaus, Rebekah, Elijah, and Hayley away from TVD and, as a result, the show is seriously lacking in major characters. In that regard, it would have been nice to have Tyler back, especially to see if the whole Caroline/Tyler relationship is going to work out. Because, yes, I’m still desperately hoping for a Caroline/Klaus reunion, which seems impossible now that they don’t live in the same show of make believe. Sigh. 

3. The Rebekah/Matt relationship: This is one relationship in the tangled web of TVD relationships that, honestly, I just don’t care about, especially since Rebekah is leaving for her own show. While the ending of Matt getting attacked and apparently mind controlled needed some sort of lead in, the idea of Matt and Rebekah’s threesome partner Nadia being the one to lure him into her dark world just brings up all sorts of ick factors. One being the idea of Matt in a threesome… eww, just no, he is so not that character. Another being the idea that Nadia followed him and got him vulnerable enough to trust her to follow him into an alleyway, which, by that way Matt, was dumb. Finally, there’s the inevitable question; did Rebekah know that Nadia was after Matt so she set him up to be attacked? Was the whole relationship set up to lead to this? My vote is no, but it’s a definite possibility with Rebekah’s past. Either way, it looks like Matt will finally be getting a story line outside of the ‘bus boy, sappy human’ role he’s been playing for the past four years. Thank you TVD, it’s about time. 

4. Bonnie is still dead: The Bonnie being dead plot seemed to tie up nicely last season when, crying, she told Jeremy she would be fine with her Grams and the other witches, and her death seemed worth it to save Jeremy’s life, especially since the two would still be able to interact since Jeremy is a medium. However, in the Season 5 opener, Bonnie is having Jeremy lie to everyone saying she is alive and traveling with her mom. She even gets him to write emails and postcards to her father and friends. While it’s understandable that Bonnie wouldn’t want to upset her friends, the whole story line is a little weird. Especially when she shows up at college with Elena and Caroline and says, “We’re all here together.” Um, no you’re not. You’re dead, your friends can’t see you, and you’re living a very extravagant lie. Hopefully, Silas killing her father will force Bonnie to do some serious witch magic and get her life back so she can kill Silas again. But, if not, Bonnie needs to just die for real. 

5. The humanity switch: This conversation has happened countless times in the course of TVD history, and honestly, aren’t we completely sick of hearing about it? Stefan is trapped in a safe at the bottom of a waterfall, of course he should turn off his humanity so he no longer has to feel pain, hunger, or emotion. But, in typical Stefan fashion, he contemplates the ramifications of doing this by hallucinating dreamlike conversations with Damon and Elena (Damon of course pushed him to turn it off, while Elena begs him to keep it on.) Unfortunately, these scenes fall flat because, well, Stefan is trapped in a safe, no one cares whether his switch is on or off, and no one would get hurt if he did turn it off. If they do ever get Stefan out of the safe, they would deal with it then. But, until that happens, turn it off Stefan, I’m already tired of watching you try to breathe underwater. 

While the season premiere offered a lot of great twists, TVD seriously needs to figure out some of it’s major plot points. Tune in next week to see where the Mystic Falls gang will go from here. Though, from the promo, it looks like we’ll have to spend at least one more episode with the underwater Stefan. Check it out below. 

Can ‘TVD’ and ‘The Originals’ Work as Seperate Shows?
‘The Vampire Diaries’ Spinoff
Will Caroline or Elena Crossover on ‘The Originals’?

From Our Partners:
History of TwerkingA Complete History Of Twerking (1993-2013) (Vh1)
20 Grisliest TV Deaths of 2012-2013 (Vulture)