Finding your one true love is never easy, but come May 14 Bachelorette Emily Maynard is willing to give it a shot with 25 willing and ready suitors at her beck and call. So to help Emily weed out the keepers from the crazies, Hollywood.com has decided to determine who is really worthy of her final rose. First impressions can go a long way — let’s see what kind of eligible bachelors the show has in store for her.
Occupation: Insurance Agent
Hometown: Dallas, Texas
Wild Card: His biggest date fear is forgetting his wallet.
Odds: He may not have that “bad boy” demeanor that the girls always go crazy for, but you have to admire a man who hates the thought of making his date pay for him all night long. Trust me, ladies, it happens more often than you think. I say this guy’s got some definite potential.
Occupation: Grain Merchant
Hometown: Uberlandia, Brazil
Wild Card: Speaks both Portuguese and Spanish.
Odds: Nothing is more sexy than a man who can speak a foreign language (although having a killer body doesn’t hurt either). This guy seems to have both, which should definitely come in handy when trying to stick out among the rest. Never underestimate the power of a man with an accent.
Occupation: Mushroom Farmer
Hometown: Medellin, Colombia
Wild Card: He’s a Mama’s Boy.
Odds: A girl could probably make peace with the fact that he’s a mushroom farmer (in fact, I’d be curious to see what exactly his job entails), but he mentions his mother twice during his brief bio, which immediately sends up red flags. This guy already has a No. 1 lady in his life — and you’re not it. And when asked what three things he would want with him if trapped on a desert island, one of the things was a picture of his mother. I’m sorry, but a Mama’s Boy with no survival instincts is just bad news. Run!
Occupation: Race Car Driver
Hometown: Den Bosch, Netherlands
Wild Card: He’s driven in the INDY 500.
Odds: Professional race car driver? Say no more — this guy has some serious fiance potential (so long as he’s not fast at everything he does). Did I mention I’m single?
Occupation: Technology Salesman
Hometown: Midland, Texas
Wild Card: Calls himself a Closet Romantic.
Odds: Not to sound mean, but isn’t there an age limit on this show? I know love is supposed to be ageless, but her 26 to his 41 is just a big enough age gap to make me (and I’m sure many others) feel very uncomfortable. Plus, he calls himself a Closet Romantic. Well it’s a good thing he’s signed up for a dating show then. It’s not like you need to show affection or anything. Gosh!
Next: Meet the Dog Lover.Name: Charlie
Hometown: Worchester, Mass.
Wild Card: He’s a Dog Lover, ladies.
Odds: This guy’s answers were a little too clean cut to be completely legit (like when pageant contestants say all they want is World Peace), but he has a soft spot for dogs, which can’t go unnoticed. In fact, he even owns an English Bulldog — adorable. He’s not going to be the first guy eliminated from the show, but puppy love can only get your so far on a series like this.
Occupation: Corporate Sales Director
Hometown: Bartlett, Illinois
Wild Card: The fact that he’s a Corporate Sales Director.
Odds: Given his job in sales you know he probably has a way with words, meaning he could be quite the charmer. But on the other hand, he could be like one of those annoying telemarketers or door-to-door saleman who just won’t take no for an answer (in a not-so-adorable way). Whatever he may be selling, Emily may not necessarily be buying.
Hometown: Charlottesville, Virginia
Wild Card: He’s a musician.
Odds: Every girl loves a guy who can sing, but musicians don’t really have the most financially stable form of employment, which isn’t exactly music to a single mother’s ears. Sorry my friend, but you’ve struck the wrong chord.
Occupation: Real Estate Agent
Hometown: Seattle, Washington
Wild Card: He still talks about his ex.
Odds: No woman wants to hear a man talk about another woman in any capacity unless he’s referring to his mother or sister. When asked to recall his best date memory he mentions a “really long hug” with his ex. First of all, that’s it? A hug is your very best memory? Secondly, mentioning exes too much won’t help your chances on a dating show. Better get that out of your system while you can, buddy, or it’s going to be a rose-less night for you.
Occupation: Fitness Model
Hometown: Chicago, Illinois
Wild Card: Doesn’t like to move fast in relationships.
Odds: In his bio, Jackson says he was speechless when a girl asked him where “this” was going in the middle of their first date. If he doesn’t think questions like that are going to be asked during his first one-on-one date with Emily, then he clearly has no idea what this show is all about. Next!
Next: Meet Mr. Spontaneous. Name: Jean-Paul
Occupation: Marine Biologist
Hometown: Moraga, Calif.
Wild Card: He’s a little too spontaneous.
Odds: In the span of three weeks, this guy managed to quit his job and sell everything he owned, all so he could travel the world for six months. Some may call it spontaneous, but Emily will probably see it as highly unstable. Proceed with caution.
Hometown: St. George, Utah
Wild Card: The name.
Odds: Seriously? Jef with one “f”? I’m sorry, I just can’t take this guy seriously. Call it woman’s intuition or whatever, but this guy just isn’t f’ed up enough — and I mean that quite literally. What’s in a name, you might ask? A lot in this case!
Occupation: Data Destruction Specialist
Hometown: St. Louis, Missouri
Wild Card: He can cook.
Odds: Every girl loves when a guy knows his way around the kitchen. And the fact that he described it as being part of his ultimate date with a woman shows that he’d be more than willing to split cooking duties with his special someone. Whatever this guy’s serving, rest assured Emily will want seconds!
Hometown: Dallas, Tex.
Wild Card: He loves Paul Newman for his philanthropic efforts. I think my heart just melted into a malleable form.
Odds: Looking good. He may have the hair of a buffer Ben Flajnik, but that’ll probably get him at least to the Hometown visits. He loves charity! What more do can you ask for?
Occupation:Luxury Brand Consultant
Hometown: Houston, Tex.
Wild Card: He stole his motto from Frank Sinatra: “You only live once … but if you’re like me, once is enough.” Gag me with a spoon. Go sell some solid gold toilets, Luxury boy.
Odds: Slim, if Emily knows what’s good for her. Even in that photo, he looks like he’s about to answer a yes or no question with “Cha.”
Next: Meet the Movie Buff. Kyle
Occupation: Financial Advisor
Hometown: Long Beach, Calif.
Wild Card: His all-time favorite movies are Zoolander, The Notebook, and Point Break, which means he clearly needs a Netflix account so he can see some more movies, but he knows enough about women to lie about how much he loved that damn Ryan Gosling movie.
Odds: He’ll stick around for a while, but the surfer boy shtick might wear thin midway through.
Occupation: Real Estate Consultant
Hometown: Laguna Beach, Calif.
Wild Card: His most embarrassing moment is losing his trunks and running down the beach naked. And now you’re wondering what he looks like naked. Which is exactly what he wanted. Perv.
Odds: He’s clearly got sex on the brain and he’s not afraid to make that known, but he’s cute and he comes from the lap of luxury. He’s got a decent shot to stick around for a while.
Occupation: Rehab Consultant
Hometown: Tahoka, Tex.
Wild Card: He’s Southern and he wishes he could be more like Ryan Gosling. If Emily dumps him, remind me to give him a call.
Odds: He played the Gosling card. He could go … all … the … way.
Hometown: Scottsdale, Ariz.
Wild Card: He prefers to be the center of attention: “I believe I was put here on Earth to lead people and spark them with enthusiasm.” Puh-leese. Translation: I’m an attention whore. Please don’t date me.
Odds: Not good. Emily’s a mother, this guy would throw a temper tantrum every time she devotes time to her child – a child who sparked her breakup with Bachelor Brad Womack.
Occupation: Marketing Manager
Hometown: Oak Creek, Wis.
Wild Card: He’s a family man, loves his Sunday morning Packers game ritual with the fam. But, he’s also got two tattoos, so he’s got a little edge too.
Odds: Fairly good. He’s got a nice mix of nice guy and bad boy, meaning he’s got some tattoos and he’s brave enough to mix a plaid shirt with that grey vest and slacks.
Next: Meet the Overly-Cocky. Ryan
Occupation: Pro Sports Trainer
Hometown: Augusta, Ga.
Wild Card: His biggest fear on a date is that his date will bore him. Next!
Occupation: Biology teacher
Hometown: Nova Scotia, Canada
Wild Card: He’s shy! In fact, he’s so shy he’s afraid to even dance. A shy teacher? How is that not breaking your heart? (Okay, his hair is a little pretentious, but still.)
Odds: They’d be better if he wasn’t so shy – he’s competing with 24 other guys, after all. But he seems like a sweetheart, and women are good at spotting those ones in a crowd. Don’t miss this one, Em!
Occupation: Party MC (I’ve checked, and the US Dept. of Labor does not recognize this as a legitimate career. That’s a lie, but it should be true.)
Hometown: Monroe Township, N.J.
Wild Card: He might actually be 15 years old: He wants to be Justin Timberlake, thinks Las Vegas is the most romantic city in the U.S., and his favorite romantic gift is a 25-page book about himself. He’s basically The Situation of Bachelorville.
Odds: Nada. Yeah, buddy.
Occupation: Lumber Trader
Hometown: Beaverton, Ore.
Wild Card: He lost his pants hopping a fence in Vegas, but at least he had the decency to mention that he wasn’t going commando. Now we’re imagining him in his underwear. He’s the PG version of Lerone.
Odds: He might be male Courtney. Sexy, manly profession? From a town that sounds made-up to go with his profession? Square jaw? He’ll be around for a while.
Occupation: Advertising Sales Rep
Hometown: Madison, Mo.
Wild Card: His perfect date: boat on a lake, dinner, wine, staring at the stars. It may be cheesy, but I still want to go to there.
Odds: Alright, alright, alright.