‘$#*! My Dad Says’ Recap: The Truth About Dads and Moms

S1:E3: With this week’s episode of CBS’s new sitcom $#*! My Dad Says, there’s good news and there’s bad news.

The good news? It was the best episode yet.

The bad news? The show is still one big pile of $#*!. (Man, that joke never gets old)

What made this episode better than previous ones was the simple fact that the writers didn’t completely rely on one-liners from William Shatner. There was actually a plot! It was incredible. You know, it had all the basic ingredients: a story arc, a little character development, and even a couple touching moments! Whoa!

But honestly, that’s about it. The fact that I’m celebrating the show’s ability to simply be coherent is a very telling fact about $#*! My Dad Says. Honestly, by normal TV show standards, the episode still managed to be horrible. Here’s a quick rundown of what happened:

Ed and Henry go to dinner. The waiter is the same guy — his name is Tim — from the DMV who passed Ed on his driver’s license test a couple episodes ago (even though Ed actually failed). Turns out, Tim got fired for passing Ed, but Ed refuses to apologize. They continue to fight, which results in Tim getting fired because of Ed again.

They eventually make up, and we actually learn that Ed is not as bad as he seems. Even though Henry has spent his life thinking that his father cheated on his mother, the reality is the other way around. Ed lied to Henry to protect Henry’s relationship with his mother. And honestly, when we learn that in the episode, it’s slightly moving. Suddenly, Ed is more than just a character spitting one-liners throughout every episode. And, there’s actually some development in the relationship between Henry and Ed.

However, despite the improvement from the writers, there’s still a major obstacle in the way of making $#*! My Dad Says successful: the acting.

Now, I don’t really have a problem with William Shatner. Honestly, he’s playing the character Ed probably the best that anyone could. My issue is with Jonathan Sadowski, a.k.a. Henry. I swear to god, this guy only has one level in the volume of his voice — and it’s loud. He’s constantly yelling! Every scene he’s in is done at the same emotional level. I can’t tell the difference between sarcasm, jokes, fear, love, or anything else. Whenever he has a line, he just squirms awkwardly around the other characters. And what’s up with that smirk? DUDE! Do you realize you’re on a TV show and in almost every scene? Viewers are going to notice if you have the same freaking facial expression on all the time. It’s absurd! There is more to the human emotional spectrum than a surprised smirk.

And despite all of the awfulness, $#*! My Dad Says still manages to bring in tremendous ratings every week, so there’s no chance it will be canceled. You know what I think? I think viewers aren’t actually watching the show. Rather, because it follows one of the most watched shows on television (The Big Bang Theory), I think people just leave their TVs on by accident while they go eat dinner or something. So, because of that, here’s a small public service announcement to end this recap.

America! Wake up! Turn off your TVs! Not only are you wasting electricity, but you’re encouraging CBS to continue this giant hot mess of a television show. Stop it. Please. Just push that power button and stop it.