Well, friends, we’ve made it to the season finale of Nashville. It’s been a long journey with ups and downs, high notes and awful notes, big hair and other hair no one cares about. Everyone went through changes this season, except for Scarlett, who is still wearing the same annoying outfit and will be pouting indefinitely, I’m sure. Last week, Rayna and Deacon finally got together for reals, Dante screwed over Juliette hard but wound up the loser in the end when her mom went and shot him, Maddie continued to play the part of Dana in Homeland, Gunnar got himself thrown in jail after pretending to be a bad boy, and Avery, well, he became the favorite. But all of that is nothing compared to the s**tshow that went down in the finale.
The Rayna and Deacon Story
Well, the sex-in-closets honeymoon phase didn’t last very long for these two. After Maddie somehow finds papers that state that Teddy isn’t her father, she draws the obvious conclusion that Deacon must be. She takes a taxi over to Uncle Deacon’s and selfishly weeps frantically right before the CMAs about how she thinks she is his daughter. Deacon does not pick up Rayna before the show, does not pose with her out in public for the first time as a couple, and definitely does not shave. When they finally get on stage to perform, it is beyond awkward, and not just because Brad Paisley seems very confused about his lines. Finally, Deacon confronts Rayna about this mess and she can’t help but sit there speechless and beautiful. He flips out, runs away, and Rayna calls Teddy. Teddy, who never seems to be working, only standing and pacing in his gigantic office wearing a silly tie and a little too much hair gel. They talk to Maddie at home about the situation and she’s all like “I want to go to dad’s FOREVER!” (No big loss there.)
Meanwhile, Deacon is in a bar. He’s in a bar, staring at a generous glass of whiskey on the rocks until he decides to down it all in one gulp. Bye, Deacon. The rest of the night is just a wasted mess. He’s awoken in the bar and told he needs to find a place to go. First stop: find Teddy and beat the crap out of him. Second stop: home, only he can’t get into his house because he is too blitzed to manage to unlock the door. Then there’s a whole intervention with Coleman, Gunnar, and Scarlett… and it is not pretty. Missed punches are thrown, slurred rage takes over, and Scarlett shrieks so loudly that I am almost happy this is the last episode of the season. After the madness cools down and Deacon wakes from a long, much-needed nap, he tells Coleman that he knows what he’s done and is going back to an AA meeting ASAP. But he doesn’t. He continues to drink, only this time, it’s from the bottle, and he gets behind the wheel. He drives over to The Bluebird because… duh. But as soon as he sees Rayna, he turns around violently. She runs after him, refuses to let him drive, and gets in the car. But it is not a nice car ride. They fight and scream and hit and wail until they swerve so badly to avoid another car that they flip multiple times until there’s no way that they’re both not dead. But this is Nashville, so chances are only one is dead, if not none. We’ll just have to wait and see.
The Teddy and Peggy Story
Yep, Peggy’s back. But not the Peggy we all came to loathe. She went and got herself a proper blowout and some real lady clothes. She’s looking pretty good! Teddy arranges a meeting for them because he’s back in money problems. You know, that whole embezzling millions of dollars thing? Well, it apparently doesn’t just go away. More people are asking for money, money that he does not have, and auditors are getting suspicious. Peggy is the link that would either set him free or kill him, so he tries to get to her before anyone else. But it’s too late. She’s already been talking to the folks at “End Teddy’s Life & Co.” But surprisingly, she covered for him. Good girl, Peggy! He is so thrilled to be getting out of yet another situation scot-free, but Peggy quickly informs him of the catch: She’s pregnant. BAH!
The Scarlett and Avery Story
After Avery showed up at the CMAs to see Scarlett perform instead of Gunnar, he became the hero, and now he’s trying to milk that for all it’s worth. He meets Scarlett for lunch or brunch or something and tries to play it all cool-guy. He’s like, “Man, that is just the gosh darn worst thing that boy Gunnar did to you, my dear,” and Scarlett’s all like, “You’re lying, liar.” But anyway, now she sort of likes him and wants to touch his hair and his face (which is looking more and more like Johnny Depp’s). She even goes to his show and he pulls her on stage and they sing a song while staring into each other’s eyes. The spark might just be back between these two.
The Scarlett and Gunnar Story
Gunnar decides to brush his hair right and take the black out of his wardrobe and now he’s looking for Scarlett’s forgiveness. He tells the producer guy that he stole the lyrics from his dead brother’s notebook and is living a lie. He just can’t do it anymore. He gets some dead flowers and tries to win over Scarlett’s trust, but she’s surprisingly stone cold. Gunnar follows her to the bar where Avery is playing and watches from afar with a cold beer as she sings into his eyes. It’s killing him. After the show, while Scarlett is walking back home, Gunnar jumps out of the bushes like a psycho killer and brings her to a random rocking bench on the water. They sit there talking and petting each other’s hair until he get off the bench and onto one knee. There’s no speech, no convincing line, just the question: “Will you marry me?” End scene.
The Juliette Story
Juliette is a wreck. She’s got no money, no mom, and no Dante. But what she does get in the finale is a tiny bit of class. Her loyal former manager, Glen, comes back to support her, but she doesn’t want his help. She doesn’t want anyone’s help. She actually gets ready for the CMAs through all the madness and sneaks into the back door dressing room. She continues to tell everyone that she’s fine, that she’s not going to freak out on stage, but soon, she realizes she’s a mess. It’s probably when she screams that she’s glad her mom is dead because now it’s all over and she can go back to living her life, in so many words. She heads over to the church before going home and cries over her mom’s coffin, wishing that things had been different between them. Juliette then finds out (from a letter that eerily came in the mail from her mom) that she only took the drugs and killed Dante out of protection for Juliette’s career. It’s all very Shakespearean, sort of. So, she doesn’t get to perform at the CMAs, but she does win! Glen comes to her house to deliver the award, and just as she’s about to slam the door on him, he hugs her. Like a real hug, one that she’s probably never gotten. It’s the most heartwarming moment of the season.
The Luke From ‘The O.C.’ Story
He took his shirt off and it was real hot.