Well, would you look at that, Nashville decided to grace us with its presence after two weeks of doing who the hell knows. And while I’d normally rant about how flaky and unreliable it’s being, for the millionth time, I’m going to let it slide. Because this was hands down the best episode of the season. The last time we saw our frenemies, everything was still up in the air with Rayna’s new badass attitude, Teddy and Peggy’s demented affair, Lamar’s health, and what on Earth Luke from The O.C. was doing creeping on Scarlett. But this week, we got answers. Boy did we get answers.
The Rayna and Liam Story
Ranya decides she’s going to take advantage of being hot and newly single and whimpers to Liam that she just wants to take chances and run wild, to which he accepts her invitation to bone. Never have two perfectly-haired people created so much heat. They rustle between the sheets and wipe the glowing lust off their faces, deciding just then that they’re going to run away together, or something. It’s the soap opera we’ve all hoped for, only Deacon’s looming presence just won’t go away. And as much as we think we want it to, we never do. And Rayna doesn’t either.
The Deacon and Vet Lady Story
The “Fake Rayna” vet lady is still around because God knows why, but thankfully (hopefully) this will be her last appearance. Deacon pretends to like her, like when he hugs her and pets her head. They share a fake embrace after Deacon comes off the tour plane and we know this is probably going to be the end. Sadly, the Vet knows it too, the way most women can sense when the guy they’re seeing up and decides it’s over without telling her. She tries to put this truth in the back of her mind, but all becomes clear when they go to Rayna’s show later that night and Deacon’s face turns red when she starts singing their song with Liam. Vet lady finally confronts Deacon about his obvious jealousy and instead of denying what’s really going on, he flat-out says that “yes, I do still have feelings for Rayna.” He can’t temper them any longer though, he realizes. But he’s willing to try! He’ll try and pretend he’s not thinking about Rayna when he’s stroking the Vet’s hair! Like, he actually says this to her as if she would consider it. Of course, she’s smart, and tells him it’s over. It’s over for them, but he’s just getting started.
The Deacon and Rayna Story
Seconds after letting the Vet go, Deacon heads over to Rayna and confesses like a southern Romeo that he still loves her. He’s always loved her. At first, Rayna is totally blinded by Liam’s God-like facial stubble still plumping her cheeks, but she comes to her senses and the moment we’ve been waiting for finally happens. The two share an embrace hotter than the time Gunnar decided it was no pants day. I mean, they really go at it. Kissing and touching and loving and breathing. It’s exactly what we’ve been wanting, but what does it mean? What does it mean?
The Teddy and Peggy Story
There was a time when these knuckleheads were playing house and wearing costumes and getting all kinky, but that day is gone. Peggy tries to keep the flame burning, but sadly she does not know that letting two stringy strands of hair fall in front of her face circa 1995 is not the hair trend that’s going to turn him on. It is hard to compete with the Queen of Hair, but she could try a little harder. Anyway, Peggy is still delusional until Teddy tells her that he knows she was the one who leaked the photos of them kissing during the campaign. She plays coy and bats her eyes, but surprisingly Teddy doesn’t buy it and does the right thing for once when he kicks her out of his house. Goodbye Peggy and your stupid fake pearls and stupid stewardess outfit. Goodbye forever.
The Gunnar and Luke From ‘The O.C.’ Story
Let us now talk about the biggest twist of maybe every plot line ever (okay, besides Lost). So, this whole time we’re led to believe that Luke from The O.C is all up in Gunnar’s grill to get closer to Scarlett. But DUH, we should have known! It takes a very special breed to be attracted to Scarlett’s squeaky voice and dumb pout and same annoying outfit. But Gunnar is everyone’s type. And he is exactly Luke from The O.C.‘s type! That’s right. Luke didn’t have the chance to come out of the closet during his days in Orange County, so he was cast in Nashville to show his true self. And he did, on Gunnar’s mouth. Sadly, Gunnar still loves Scarlett (ugh) and is straight (ugh), so he freaks out and tells Luke to leave.
The Juliette and Dante Story
Now that Juliette has fired Deacon and her manager and given everything to Dante, (her mom’s sobriety coach who she’s also sleeping with) including all her money, it’s only natural that he would screw her over in the worst way possible. But Juliette had it coming to her. You don’t get to be a total diva bitch forever before getting what you deserve. So, Juliette finds pills that were planted in her mom’s coat by Dante and accuses her mom of using again. The Changeling affect makes her mom bonkers, which doesn’t help her cause at all. She gets sent away to a facility like an animal and Juliette and Dante kiss and stuff. It isn’t until later that Juliette realizes that her mom couldn’t have possibly taken those pills because she is allergic to the medicine in them and would stop breathing and starts piecing together Dante’s evil plan. But it’s too late, and Dante is far gone on a plane to wherever with whoever with all of Juliette’s money and a wad of hair gel. The player got played, hard.
The Lamar Story
Oh, he’s fine. He’s not dead. He’s still a jerkface. The end.
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