‘New Girl’ Recap: Sh** Just Got Real (Season 3, Episode 3)

New GirlAdam Taylor/FOX

Plots: Schmidt (Max Greenfield) is forced to finally deal with his failing love triangle when Jess (Zooey Deschanel) and Nick (Jake Johnson) plan a double date with him and CeCe (Hannah Simone). Meanwhile, Winston (Lamorne Morris) spends most of the episode by himself scouting out a table at a restaurant that he can’t get a reservation for. Oh, Winston.

Time to Grow Up, Schmidt
Unfortunately, most of the episode focuses on the inevitable end to Schmidt’s relationships with both CeCe and Elizabeth (Merritt Wever). When Nick finds out what Schmidt has done, he asks him, “In your little brain, how do you see this ending?” (Thank you, Nick. That’s what we’ve all been wondering since day one.)

After Schmidt wimps out again and tells CeCe that Nick has been cheating on Jess, the two couples race to the restaurant where CeCe punches poor Nick below the belt and Schmidt is forced to tell her what a loser he is (is anyone starting to really dislike Schmidt?). To make things worse for Schmidt, his honesty doesn’t come off as endearing. Yes, there are definitely some tears in his eyes, but he ends up blaming his indiscretion on his newfound good looks. (We get it, you were fat, but that doesn’t give you a pass.)

Honestly, this episode was probably the most serious one out of the whole series. Not even Nick’s dad’s funeral was this sad. We knew it had to happen eventually, but things just got too real for a show that thrives off of the gang’s loveable quirks and, well, humor.

Nick and Jess Save the Day
Thankfully, Nick and Jess save the episode from being utterly depressing and unfunny. From Nick’s facial reactions when Schmidt tell him about CeCe to his interpretive dancing to his confession that he bought 10 thousand minutes in 1999 that he still hasn’t run out of, Nick successfully reminds us that without him, there is no show. 

As for Jess, one of the best scenes is when Schmidt threatens to ruin their relationship (yeah, that happened), and her and Nick come up with a list of information that Schmidt could use to pull them a part. The couple saves the end of the episode from being intense and kind of creepy with their admissions:

– Jess is in the Green party, has been banned from Lake Ontario, has a fear of pears and pear-shaped people, has been told by doctors that she might grow another 18 inches, and kind of wants to get a gun.
– Nick is not convinced that he can read (he’s just memorized a bunch of words), thinks the moon landing was fake (he looked at photos on the internet and the shadows are off), and is sexually attracted to ladybugs.

They may not have had a plotline of their own, but they had a slew of one-liners that helped the show stay on track. It was nice to see that Nick and Jess can function as couple without there being any drama between the two of them (just a whole lot of weirdness).

Winston, Reservation for Eight
Heartbroken and lonely from his breakup with Daisy, Winston is determined to join the gang on their double date. Convinced that he can get a reservation at a restaurant that is booked up for the next seven weeks, he hangs out a reject table — where all of the people who don’t have reservations can sit and eat — in the hopes that he can completely take over the table.

Since Winston has officially been cast as the loveable nut-job, it’s no surprise that one of his tactics for saving seats for his friends involved ordering eight different meals for nonexistent people and then taking different sized bites out of them to convince the hostess that people are sitting there. Winston might be the official C-plot of every episode (and spend most of it by himself), but hey, we’re not complaining.

Some of the Best Moments and Lines from This Week’s New Girl Episode:
– Winston swallows a sanded piece of glass that he thinks is a mint.
– Nick has sex with Jess while he’s wearing a motorcycle helmet so his face can’t reveal that he knows what Schmidt has done.
– Nick can’t get any more tickets or else they’ll make him wear eye-glasses.
– “You broke my heart. Mail me my mouth guard.” – Elizabeth to Schmidt

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