‘New Girl’ Recap: Should I Stay Or Should I Pogo? 

ALTThe horribly-embarrassing-your-best-buddies episode is the rite of passage for any great sitcom that revolves around around a group of tight-knit attractive urban pals. Friends did it when Monica, Ross, and Chandler all revealed some humiliating stories from their past (“Monica couldn’t tell time until she was 13!”… “Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!”) and How I Met Your Mother did it when everybody aired their grievances about their glass-shattering annoyances with each other (Lily’s loud chewing, Barney’s inane catch phrases). 

Last night New Girl joined that very same esteemed company with their downright hilarious, if not very sitcom-y episode “Pepperwood.” (That’s Julius Pepperwood to you!) The show also reached a sitcom landmark of coining new terminology. While Seinfeld remains the master of that domain, New Girl added a new phrase to the pop culture: pogoing. Pogoing — which derives from the hyper-embarrassing times when Winston’s morning wood accidentally grazes his roommates, their pizza, or overnight guests like Cece — is making fun of your friends behind their back for their one thing that totally irks you about them. 

Winston was seriously upset to learn that he had a Pogo in the loft, but not nearly as much as Schmidt who was tortured by the thought of what his Pogo could possibly be. Was it his snake-like dancing? His caterpillar-like eyebrows, which he shaved to save face? No, no. It’s his clickety-clack, centaur-like toenails which repulse his roommates and make for his Pogo. (However, I have a hard time believing any part of Schmidt wouldn’t be groomed to utter perfection.) 

Jess and Nick were none too worried about their Pogos (they were being a know-it-all and general malnutrition, lack of funds, and being on the brink of death at all times, respectively) as they were trying to solve a murder mystery. Well, kind of. Nick feared for Jess’ life after reading a story written by one of her students, Edgar, in her adult learning class. Not just because of his terrifying choices in font (“At least use Palatino!”), but because he’d written a terrifying, stab-happy tale about gruesomely killing a big-eyed deer who sounds an awful lot like Jess. Nick then goes undercover as former Marine/former cop/Chicago native Julius Pepperwood to get to the bottom of all this and protect his Girl Friday. 

Of course, much like Schmidt and Winston’s venture into the hood, the whole thing turned out to be a huge misunderstaning. Nick/Julius’ crack investigation didn’t pay off (in fact, it lead him to falling through a window and Jess getting pepper sprayed) and Edgar wasn’t the creepy Zodiac-esque killer he appeared to be on the surface. He was just a creepy dude with a much older girlfriend, a mysterious duffle bag, a penchant drawing things with big eyes, and a vivid imagination. Okay, maybe he is a killer, but hey, at least he didn’t kill Jess and Nick! Those crazy kids have yet to hook up. Plus, if anybody is going to kill them, it should at least be Remy. 

Here are the best, lines, and Pogos from last night’s episode of New Girl

– The Douchebag Jar has some company: the Annoyance Bowl! Created specially for Jess, the Annoyance Bowl must be fed when she does things like sing and dance for completely unnecessary reasons. That happens a lot. 

– Schmidt’s over-pronunciation of the word “sweater.” Max Greenfield is a linguistics wizard at making the simplest of words sound incredibly douchey. Jar!

– Future zombie novelist Nick Miller, who couldn’t spit out a complete sentence, and his theories on writing: “You can’t teach people to write!” and “Writers don’t read, we write!” (Damn you, Miller! You’re giving out our secrets!)

– Schmidt has something called a “mix’ins cabinet.” 

– “Don’t steal my yarn, man, that’s my one thing,”- Jess, laying down the law with Nick. 

– The Doodle Police!

– Jess and Nick’s safe words: “Apricot” and “Dragon slippers.” 

– “They make shoes for your penis! They’re called pants!”- Schmidt, to Winston. 

– Nick’s comically bad attempt to break into Edgar’s garage. (Jake Johnson, keep doin’ what you’re doin’.) 

– Julius Pepperwood: Zombie Detective’s best friends are his hat and Jessica Night. (No affiliation or relation to Jessica Day, honestly!) 

What did you think of last night’s episode of New Girl? Do you think it earned it’s place in sitcom history? Do you know what your Pogo is in your group? Or are you too much of a Cece to have one in the first place? Share in the comments section below. 

[Photo credit: FOX] 


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