S3:E2 “Kev? Showing at work? I thought he was here to try and bash my brains out.” – Eddie
The episode started with Jackie getting called into the pharmacy to retrieve the “topical from pediatrics.” Once inside the room she previously used for sex with Eddie, Eddie told her that being Kevin’s friend was beginning to be really hard for him because Kevin didn’t know about Eddie’s previous relationship with Jackie. Eddie also said that Kevin called and asked him if he wanted to be on the bar’s softball team, and Eddie felt guilty that Kevin was being so nice to him when he didn’t know that Jackie used to fuck Eddie in exchange for Vicodin. Jackie said it might be good if Eddie tried to maintain some distance from her husband, but Eddie didn’t feel it was right for him to just disappear from Kevin’s life altogether. In fact, Eddie said, he wanted Kevin to know that he worked with Jackie, because everything else Kevin knew about him was a lie and he wanted his friend to know one true thing about him. Jackie finally saw things Eddie’s way, and told him to show up at the bar that night and tell Kevin he lost his job and he was looking to find a job as a pharmacist at another hospital.
“I just can’t be around anyone who pees standing up.” – Patient
A mother came to the hospital with her four sons who were suffering from the chicken pox because she had cut her thumb down to the bone when she was trying to pry the toilet seat open by scraping off all the child urine that had sealed it shut. Dr. Cooper had already tried to close the wound, but the mother refused to be treated by anyone but women because she was incredibly frustrated with how her sons (and men in general) never aim for the toilet bowl. So Jackie told Dr. Cooper that it would be best if he switched patients with O’Hara, who was dealing with someone who had ingested poison. After some resistance, Dr. Cooper agreed to swap patients, but didn’t recognize that a woman who cuts her thumb because she’s unhappy about penises is probably pretty serious about not being around penises. Once the mother’s hand had been stitched up and Valium made her stop yelling at her sons about wiggling their penises everywhere while they were urinating, she told Jackie how she knew other moms were pill poppers, and she saw what it did to them and how it affected their parenting. She said she didn’t want to be that kind of mom, and Jackie said she understood. After Jackie felt it was safe to bring the kids around their mom again, Acolitus informed her that O’Hara had applied to some physician positions at other hospitals, which Jackie knew was because O’Hara felt uncomfortable around Jackie and her addiction.
“People gotta stop trying to save people who don’t want to be saved.” – Jackie
A man was brought into the hospital after someone called 911 and said there was a man lying on the sidewalk. As Dr. Cooper was checking his vital signs, Zoey saw a note on his shirt that said he was DNR (meaning do not resuscitate). Jackie yelled at the EMTs who brought him in, but they said they were obligated to do so because the law says that if someone calls 911 about someone who appears to be in distress, the patient must be transported to a hospital. As the man slowly regained consciousness, he whispered to Zoey that he just wanted to die outside. He finally died a little bit later, and Zoey told Jackie that the EMTs felt bad about not being able to fulfill a dying man’s wish. Jackie said it was good that they felt bad because some people don’t want help, and those wishes should be respected as much as any other kind.
“So, here’s the deal. Eddie lost his job today.” – Kevin
That night at Kevin’s bar, Eddie told Kevin that he had lost his job. Kevin called Jackie over and away from her virgin Shirley Temple and asked her if she could do anything to help Eddie get as a pharmacist at All Saints. Jackie said she would see what she could do, and all that us home viewers could do was picture the day when Kevin finds out about Jackie’s affair with Eddie and then completely loses it when he realizes that he tried to help the guy who fucked his wife get a job that he already had.