‘Pretty Little Liars’ Premiere Recap: Squeals, Reveals, and a New Death in Rosewood (Season 4, Episode 1)

Credit: Ron Tom/ABC

It finally happened. After months of anticipation and speculation, the Season 4 premiere of Pretty Little Liars has finally arrived and this episode went above and beyond our expectations. “A Is for A-l-i-v-e,” shocked us to the core with the trunk’s contents, cruel daydreams, a new death, and the intriguing flashbacks. Read on for all the pretty little spoilers!

WARNING: The following recap contains each and every spoiler from this episode of Pretty Little Liars (because, duh, it’s a recap). Friends share secrets, that’s what keeps us close.

Squealing the Truth: In the episode’s first seconds, we finally learn what was trapped in the trunk of Officer Wilden’s water-logged cop car that made those girls gasp and gag. Get ready for the world’s most random reveal because the item that “A” planted in the trunk was a large, cold, and very dead… Pig. (Side-Note: Do you think his name was Wilbur, Babe, or Hamlet? I personally think he looks like a Wilbur. But now I have a more important internal conflict: Will I eat bacon tomorrow morning? Thanks a lot “A.”)

The girls quickly flee the scene, but not before Mona snatches up the incriminating cop car video of Hanna’s mother running down Officer Wilden with her car. Oh Ashley Marin, you seem to get in even more trouble than the girls! Back at Spencer’s place, paranoia is in the air and the girls all turn on Mona and demand some much-needed answers. Mona then spills so many A Team secrets that it feels like Christmas in June!

Mona’s Dirty Little Secrets:
– Mona was not responsible for pulling Wilden’s cop car out of the lake. “I put the car in Hanna’s garage and that’s the last time I saw it.”
– Shana and Jenna have known each other for year. Apparently, Shana is obsessively in love with our formerly blind bitch, but they’re both afraid of Melissa.
– When Cece visited Radley Sanitarium, Mona was all hopped up on her meds and thought that the blonde bombshell was actually Ali. “I don’t remember what we talked about.” 
– When Emily received the frightening massage from “A” it was actually Lucas who gave her the black-gloved rub down.
– Mona recruited Toby for a job on the A Team when he got that job working in Bucks County.
– Mona did not push Ian to his death off the Rosewood Church bell tower. “I wish I knew who did,” she says.
– There were not one, but two, Queen of Hearts on last Halloween’s mystery train. Mona reveals a video showing Wilden dressed as one Queen of Hearts and claims that Spencer’s sister, Melissa was the other. However, just before the second mask was revealed, Mona’s computer was hijacked and shut down from an unknown hacker.

The next morning, Mona is no where to be found and, just as the girls are about to reach level three panic mode, the new liar waltzes back into Spencer’s house with four custom coffee orders, breakfast, and the casual fact she has her own set of keys to Emily’s car. To gain the foursome’s trust, Mona agrees to take the girls to her “A” trailer lair and along the way they see that Wilbur is not the only one dead on the crime scene in town’s square — Officer Wilden’s light blue and lifeless body is lying in the street. Rosewood’s population shrinks once again.

Credit: Ron Tom/ABC

Awkward Encounters: Aria runs into Ezra at Rosewood’s one and only coffee shop and she’s not sure how to behave around her former flame. Ezra is all smiles and causally mentions that he has been offered his old teaching position at Rosewood High but, despite Aria’s mild protests, he stresses that he really needs the money because he has “a family now.” (Side-Note: Blegh! No you don’t! You have a son now. Not a whole family. If Ezra seriously starts dating that chick from The Secret World of Alex Mack then I’m going to be beyond upset.)

At school, Aria tries to act as though her senior year is A-OK but her longing glances across the quad at Ezra are more than obvious. The principal calls Aria into his office, accuses her of being a liar, reveals that he knows that she and Ezra were sleeping together and then he whips out racy photos of Ezria getting hot and heavy in the back of a car. Aria runs out of the office with tears in her eyes just in time to see two police officers escorting Ezra out of the school in handcuffs.

Are you hysterically panicking yet? Me too! Don’t worry little darlings, it was all just an overly elaborate day dream in Aria’s pretty head. (Side-Note: That was one of the cruelest things I have ever seen on my TV screen. Who else was screaming “Nooooo!” and was two seconds away from sobbing?) In actuality, the principal only wanted to pass along some papers to Aria’s mom, but this vision has made her realize that Aria needs to separate herself as much as possible from our beloved Ezra.

Like the Good Old Days: Mona is determined to mend her friendship with Hanna and the twosome embark on a shopping spree like they used to. Unfortunately, Mona sees right through Hanna’s half-hearted smiles and guarded stories on their shopping trips. (Side-Note: Hanna is seriously the worst liar ever. Smile a little brighter honey and try not to look so damn miserable when you’re grabbing a soda! Mona is a certified genius. Of course she’’ going to notice and call you out when you’re awkward as hell.)

New Plans, Old Faces: Paige convinces Emily that next year they should go to Stanford together and the thought of finally leaving the drama behind in Rosewood makes Emily quickly say yes. Over at the DiLaurentis house, Emily runs into Alison’s mom Jessica and discovers that not only is she moving back to town, but she’s re-creating Ali’s old room. (Side-Note: Creepy much? Oh and I forgot how abrasive and rude Mrs. DiLaurentis was. Like mother, like daughter I guess… ) For more shcoking information on Mrs. DiLaurentis’ return, take a look at what Marlene King told me.

A Peek in the Past: At Officer Wilden’s funeral, Spencer and Mona sneak into a private room and snatch back a phone that “A” planted on Wilden’s cold, dead body. All the recent calls were from a blocked number except for one contact labeled “Kisses.” It turns out that “Kisses” is actually Hanna’s mom’s cell number and, while the ladies are trying to figure out what this all means, a new face introduces himself. Officer Holbrook, who is all kinds of handsome, says he’s investigating Wildens death and would like to speak with the ladies soon.

While the liars are at the funeral, Toby receives a cryptic text from “A” saying, “I know what happened to your mom. Bring the Lair and you’ll know too.” Fans are then treated to a flashback to geeky Toby’s old room and his gorgeous guest of honor is the one-and-only Alison. She says her famous line, “I know you want to kiss me,” but just before their lips meet, Toby’s mom enters the room looking sickly and tired.

Toby confides in Ali that he thinks something is wrong with his momma, but Ali just scoffs and accuses her of being “lazy much.” Classic Ali. Toby asks Alison to leave and she calls him a loser before sulking out of the room. The flashback ends and we watch as Toby parks the trailer lair in the middle of the forest and walks back to town with tears in his eyes and a heavy heart.

Biggest Jaw-Dropper: Learning that all along there was actually just a wee litle piggy in the trunk and listening to Mona reveal that huge list of well-deserved answers.

Most Heart-Warming Moment: Watching Spencer and Toby have a cozy breakfast together and realizing that they’re still perfect together.

Most Heart-Breaking Moment: The look on Ezra’s face when the police led him down the hall in handcuffs. This moment may have been fake, but the tears we cried were real.

What did you think of the Season 4 premiere, “A Is for A-l-i-v-e”? What secret surprised you the most? Do you think have any theories about Toby’s mom? Tell me your pretty little speculations in the comments below!

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