‘RHOA’ Recap: Casper The Shady Ghost

Real Housewives of Atlanta recapBravo

The episode was all about ghosts. You know, the manifestation of tired dead things that just will not go away like the random Bravo reality shows that follow the Housewives. This episode finds the ladies haunted by the fight from the last episode. Kenya Moore is still yelling at Kandi Burruss about her and Phaedra Parks’ lateness. Then the girls gloss over it and start talking about how often they have sex while watching Phaedra pump her breast?!? Everyone disagrees about the importance of being submissive to their husband except for Mynique Smith. That makes Porsha Stewart cry because she’s still haunted by the ghost of her failed marriage. You need an exorcism Porsha!

The ladies stay at the Wedding Cake Mansion in Savannah. They get the run of a luxury mansion and the ladies set off to choose their room. Haunted by the horrible parenting of her crazy mother Momma Joyce, Kandi decides to take the master bedroom. Regardless of Bravo footing the bill, NeNe Leakes is the person that planned the trip so she does technically deserve the room. But in the same way that some people can’t see ghosts, Kandi cannot see general manners. After all, were it not for NeNe she would be vacationing in obscurity with The Kandi Factory.

After Roomgate, the ladies huddle in the kitchen for a glass of wine. NeNe keeps NayNay her aggressive alter-ego at bay. That leaves room for everyone else to dust off their triflin’ muscles. Kenya tries to stir the pot and suggest that NeNe set some ground rules. And thus begins the first fight of the trip. Mynique tries to be cute and teases Phaedra about being late. Then Phaedra reads her and gives her a fright. The girls decompress and discuss Mynique’s thorough reading. She was torn a new one thoroughly by Phaedra with a well-placed side eye. Meanwhile, Phaedra and Kandi are discussing their mutual connection to Mynique’s husband Chuck Smith. Given Phaedra’s love of the macabre, the two run after a hearse with a bunch of people sitting in the back.

Mynique pops into Cynthia Bailey’s room for some eye make-up tips. She ends up getting some lessons in the Queen’s English by Cynthia. Thus proving what everyone has failed to acknowledge, The Real Housewives franchise is centered around older women pretending to be gay men. Kandi has a Facetime call with her husband Todd Tucker and he ignores her most of the time. Could she be haunted by the ghost of the truth? Maybe Momma Joyce’s crazy allegations are truthful.

The ladies tour one of the oldest African-American churches in North America. Porsha discusses her grandfather, civil rights leader Hosea Washington, because they are in one of the stops of the Underground Railroad. Sadly, haunted by the paint chips she ate as a child, Porsha doesn’t realize that the Underground Railroad was a metaphorical railroad … not an actual one. 

The girls conclude day one with drinks. They decide to spill some tea … about Mynique’s husband and his many girlfriends that are all sitting at the same table. Mynique plays dumb but Phadra and Kandi confess they all dated Chuck. When Porsha speaks up, Mynique tests her reading skills and comes after Porsha. However, Porsha is not having it and let’s Mynique know where she stands in the group …way in the back.

Shady Quotables

I have a newborn, I’m a mother and I have jobs. Phaedra to Mynique

I hope you got that Monique with a y instead of an o. Who does that anyway? -Phaedra

I don’t think she read me. I don’t feel read. -Mynique

She’s a white girl in a black-white girl’s body. – NeNe about Mynique

Now she [Kandi] ain’t ran in her entire life and she’s about to start running up these steps. -NeNe

There has to be an opening at some point because somebody’s driving a train … they’re not electric like what we have now. -Porsha about the Underground Railroad

It’s almost hurtful to me to watch her be so dumb.  – Kenya about Porsha

I don’t even know you. -Most of the girls about Mynique