Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Escape to Bitch Mountain

Real Housewives of Beverly HillsBravo

The girls don’t miss a beat in this desert sequel. They start right where they left off, crying and yelling at the dinner table. Brandi is still drunk and surprisingly we still feel, just a little, bad for Kyle. Kyle excuses herself from the table to have a good cry and Yolanda hears her tears and gives her support in the form of a hug and a few nice words.

The girls take the tram to the top of a mountain and Brandi gets ‘motion sick.’ She doesn’t like heights or motion sickness, that’s why she has to sit on the floor of the tram as it heads upward. Obviously, it’s got nothing to do with the amount of alcohol she drank the night before.

Yolanda and Lisa leave, but not before asking Brandi if she will be okay with the rest of the crew. Almost immediately Brandi’s attitude changes and she becomes the most agreeable person on the show. She cooks dinner for everyone; during the second dinner there is not a single fight. Even Kyle is being extraordinarily nice, in a way we haven’t seen before. But don’t get too excited, Brandi’s phone rings and just like before, she steals the show.

Her assistant tells of a break-in at Brandi’s. The most distressing part- Brandi’s dog Chica has gone missing. Brandi mentions that this is the second time her dog has gone missing while the assistant was in charge; are we the only ones putting two and two together? Bathroom window broken, nothing taken, but the dog is missing. Joyce states that she lost a dog once where Brandi snaps, saying life isn’t always a competition. Congratulations Joyce, you just annoyed Brandi, and EVERYBODY else yet again. Is it wrong that we want to tell her to shup up and tie up her hair?

Brandi goes up and we’re left with fingers crossed that Chica is found-assistant-less.


Joyce falls asleep and Brandi shaves those long dark brown locks, the rest of the world reJOYces.

Yolanda leaves the show, nobody ever fights.

Chica was hiding under the couch the whole time, Brandi’s assistant is fired.