Last night on Sarah Palin’s Alaska, after she’d finished vacuuming the carpeted floor of her excursion-mobile, Sarah Palin asked her children where the ingredients for the s’mores were because it was time to fill in the tire tracks on that deer carcass with chocolate and have some dessert. She also said their dessert was in honor of Michelle Obama, who she sadly misquoted when she said “[Michelle] thinks nobody in all the land should have dessert.” And that includes Simba’s kingdom.
But this isn’t about s’mores at all. Certainly you are aware that every First Lady champions a cause when they move into the White House, and Michelle Obama has been working to teach our kids to eat better so they can avoid having their limbs amputated from diabetes. Obama’s “Let’s Move” program promotes dessert alternatives and encourages parents to educate their children on the meaning of diet and exercise because statistics show one in three American children is overweight or obese, and experts say today’s children are on the precipice of living shorter lives than their parents.
However, Palin continues to believe that Michelle’s efforts to fight our youth’s chub takes away our “God-given rights to make our own decisions,” and that “instead of a government thinking that they need to take over and make decisions for us according to some politician or politician’s wife priorities, just leave us alone, get off our back.” Palin seems completely unaware that Michelle Obama’s campaign is largely advisory, meaning she’s not putting any new laws into effect, which means YOU CAN KEEP LETTING YOUR KIDS EAT SHIT IF YOU WANT TO. The only exception is that Congress is currently updating the guidelines for the vending machines and the meals served in schools, which you, as a parent, RESERVE THE RIGHT TO GIVE OR NOT GIVE YOUR KID MONEY FOR. Michelle is simply advocating dietary education so that kids can be in control of their eating habits and relieve the picky kids’ parents from the burden of going grocery shopping for WHITE FOODS ONLY! (Hi Mom!)
And incidentally, just for kicks, do you think Palin has since realized that her comment about “getting off our backs” is applicable to HER ENTIRE EXISTENCE?
Also, why couldn’t Sarah wait to disagree with Michelle about something really terrible, like Jim Carrey’s reliance on body contortions? She really just couldn’t keep it together long enough, so she had to get combative with Michelle over why chubby kids are chubby?