Sorry ‘Stranger Things’ Fans, But Barb Kind Of Sucks

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Netflix

Stranger Things was a fantastic series, and any real Stranger Things fan will know that Nancy’s BFF Barb was taken from us too soon. She was just a nerdy teenager navigating her way through the murky waters of high school (and later, the murky waters of that pool she probably shouldn’t have been hanging out at alone). She didn’t deserve her fate.

As much as Barb didn’t deserve to wind up in the Upside Down with a pile of worms squirming through her decomposing body, admit it — Barb kind of sucked. Barb was not cool. Barb was not even cool in that nerdy kind of way that made us champion Charlie as Nancy’s love interest or want to stuff Steve into a locker like he probably does to people like Barb on a daily basis.

Yet, the Internet loves Barb. Twitter users jumped at the chance to hashtag #WeAreAllBarb, but we are not all Barb. I am not Barb. Because Barb kind of sucks. Lets look at the facts.

1. Barb is the kind of person who goes to a party, but complains about everyone there.

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Netflix

Like, chill Barb. Were you even invited anyway?

2. She’s super judgmental.

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Why does she care that Nancy is wearing a new bra? Let Nancy feel sexy if Nancy wants to feel sexy.

 3. Her hobbies include standing behind Nancy and shaking her head.

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Barb, just because you’re smart, nerdy and put in this show solely to be the voice of reason doesn’t mean you’re better than anyone else. We see you lurking, shaking your head.

 4. She is continuously rolling her eyes.

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Barb basically rolls her eyes so much, they’d probably fall out of her head if she weren’t wearing those Coke bottle glasses.

 5. She has no chill.

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Seriously, Barb might as well be another name for a wet blanket.

6. She really resents the idea of Nancy gaining any sort of popularity.

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Netflix

Yeah, she’s a “good friend” and helps Nance study, but snide remarks about the fact that people actually might like Nancy are not all that nice (even if the other popular kids are kind of jerks). Sorry nobody likes you, Barb, but maybe don’t be such a snob?

7. Barb is the kind of person who buttons her shirt all the way to the top and then some.

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Netflix

Don’t be that person, Barb.

8. Even Barb’s own parents barely care that she’s missing.

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When you see her, tell her to call me. No biggie! It’s just Barb.

9. The show’s writers don’t even care that Barb is missing. 

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Instagram

The writers completely glossed over what happened to Barb.  For a while, we thought we’d never find out what happened, and Barb would disappear as mysteriously as she appeared behind Nancy shaking her head and telling her to stop having good ol’ reckless, teenage fun. It felt like the writers only showed us that she died because they had to, not because they wanted to. 

10. Seriously, why is Nancy the only person concerned that Barb is missing?

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Netflix

Hint: it’s because Barb must really suck.

11. She’s in less than 10 minutes of the entire season

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Netflix

And in all of those 10 minutes she’s either dead or complaining about something. Seriously Barb, put a sock in it (or a spider, or whatever else will stop your whining).

12. People easily forget Barb even existed at all.

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Netflix

Case in point: when writing this article, I asked my boyfriend — a massive Stranger Things fan — what he thought of Barb. His response: “Oh yeah, I forgot her. She was way dead.”

13. She’s just boring.

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Netflix

There were lots of ways the writers of Stranger Things could have made Barb interesting if they cared about her at all. Tumblr picked up on some weird sexual tension between Barb and Nancy. Maybe Barb hates Nancy’s new crush because she really wishes she could be Nancy’s girlfriend (and not, you know, because Steve is a dumb jock and jocks are, like, so totally dumb). Much like Barb’s parents, Barb’s classmates, and the entire town’s population who created numerous search parties to find Will but barely noticed that Barb was missing at all, the writers didn’t care either. Because Barb was hardly a real character. Sorry, Barb.

Despite how boring she is, Barb will find justice in season two.

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Netflix

If you’re one of the many who deeply miss Barb’s presence (really though, why?) and demand justice for the nerdy teen who left our world too soon, you’re in luck. Though Barb remains way dead, the Duffer Brothers admit that they’ll explore her disappearance a bit more in season two.

“It’s not like her parents are like ‘Oh Barb left. She died!’ Season One actually takes place over the course of six or seven days – it’s a really short period of time. So part of what we want to do with hypothetical Season 2 is to explore the repercussions of everything that happened,” said Matt Duffer in an interview with IGN.

Okay, so we’ll get something about Barb’s story in the next season — at least a very little. Explaining the repercussions of what happened is a massive undertaking, and there’s a lot of other stuff that’s way more important than Barb like what happened to Eleven, what’s happening with Will and what those government agents wanted with Sheriff Hopper. We’re guessing Barb will be glossed over again because, well, she’s Barb.

 

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