Well, now we know what the Super Bowl was like for our ancestors.
A little more than halfway through Super Bowl XLVII, things took a turn for the Amish, and a blackout overtook the New Orleans-based stadium. As the Superdome was enveloped in a plague of darkness, the players became confused. The fans became restless. Rave aficionados lamented what could have been the opportunity of a lifetime.
But instead of mulling over the effects of the blackout, we’re more interested in the causes. After all, Super Bowls don’t just lose power all willy nilly. There must have been… foul play. But what, or who, might have been behind such a dastardly ordeal?
We’ve got some ideas…
Beyonce Needed to Put Blue Ivy to Bed
Remember when the new parents Carter earned the public’s scorn for secluding an entire hospital wing for the birth of their child? Well, now that young Blue Ivy is a full year old, she warrants even more special treatment than that. When the superhuman infant grows tired, she will not be forced to endure a car (or private jet) ride home before heading to bed. Instead, mother Beyonce is wont to take over entire football stadiums just to give her baby a good night’s sleep.
The Harbaugh Parents Give Their Sons a Time Out
Taking note that their children John and Jim just can’t seem to get along (this rivalry has gone too far), the parents Harbaugh decided that they had enough: to your rooms, sons! Lights out and no TV! All your little friends (like Ray Lewis) will have to wait outside until you’ve had time to think about what you’ve done.
It Was the Witch! Or the Mandarin! Or… Khan?!
We’ve seen a lot of evil come and go through commercial breaks during this game. OZ the Great and Powerful, Iron Man 3, and Star Trek Into Darkness all showcased some bad guys viable of a diabolical ploy like this. But which of them is behind it? And why?
The Wrath of the Puppy Bowl!
Yes, the Super Bowl always beats the Puppy Bowl in ratings. But not this time… cute as they are, those puppies are vicious. Capable of dire lengths like cutting the power of the game. Hell hath no fury like a Yorkie scorned.
It Was YOU
Yes, you. Your favored team was losing. Your box picks were coming up short. You were gearing up to owe your pals a lot of money. There’s only one way to get out of this one…
[Photo Credit: Matt Slocum/AP Photo]
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