‘Survivor’ Recap: Blair Is a Crybaby

ALTYes, last night was about Blair crying. It was about Blair crying because people don’t think she’s pretty anymore, because people think she isn’t loyal, because Malcolm won’t love her the way she deserves to be loved, because Abi is really freaking mean to her. Whhaaaaa. That’s what Blair said. She just sat there in the ocean in her sneakers (which is disgusting and no one wants to walk around in soggy trainers) and let people be mean to her.

So, after a reward challenge that dealt with balls and an immunity challenge that dealt with balls (Skupin won, possibly aided by the alien creature that appears to be growing on his shoulder) Blair didn’t have any balls to go against her original alliance that treated her like crap since the beginning of the game to go with the nice people and Jonathan Penner, who would get her to eat the apple in the Garden of Eden if she gave him the chance. Yes, no balls at all. But Skupin did and got with the old Team Lesbian members and ousted Artis, a silent but venegeful god on Team Evil. Now if we can only get rid of Abi and her awful stink face and irrational temper and all will be quiet on the western front.

Yes, Blair is a big crybaby and so am I and currently I am pissed that I didn’t save my original Survivor recap and all my jokes about balls and Blair and Abi and my Malcolm slash fiction are lost for the ages. I know I should save more. I know I should back up. It’s my fault, really. My punishment is two days of sitting in the ocean in my sneakers. I hope it doesn’t give me West Nile Virus (it will not). I’ll make it up to you next week, I swear.

Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan

[Photo Credit: AP Photo]


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