The First-Ever (Fake) Annual Reality TV Emmy Awards

The Emmys are scared of reality television. There, I just had to get that out there. There is a wide, varied world of reality television available but the Emmys only have three measly categories for reality programming, and one of them has been dominated by The Amazing Race ever since it was created (give or take a bone thrown to Top Chef).

Your 800 channels are absolutely littered with reality shows of all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Everything from Jersey Shore to Deadliest Catch, Keeping up with the Kardashians to The Biggest Loser, Hoarders to Hoarding: Buried Alive to Confessions: Animal Hoarding. See what I’m talking about? There is a ton out there! That’s why I decided that, since the Academy of Television Arts and Silliness won’t make up an awards show just for reality TV programming I thought I would do it for them. Below are some categories and potential nominees. Who do you think should win?

Best Competitive Reality Show, Non-Professional, Non-Singing

Big Brother

Survivor

Glass House

Celebrity Apprentice

Dancing with the Stars

American Ninja Warrior

The Bachelor

Best Professional Competition

Top Chef

America’s Next Top Model

Project Runway

Face-Off

RuPaul’s Drag Race

So You Think You Can Dance

Best Singing Competition

American Idol

The X-Factor

Duets

The Voice

The Glee Project

The Sing Off

Best Professional Documentary, Tough

Deadliest Catch

Ice Road Truckers

Pawn Stars

Cops

Bering Sea Gold

Dirty Jobs

Best Professional Documentary, Non-Tough

Ceaser Milan: Dog Whisperer

Storage Wars

DC Cupcake

Tabatha Takes Over

Undercover Boss

Gigolos

Best Celebrity Documentary, Non-Kardashian

Coco’s World

Braxton Family Values

Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best

TI & Tiny: The Family Hustle

Married to Jonas

Guiliana & Bill

Best Celebrity Documentary, Kardashian

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Khloe & Lamar

Kourtney & Kim Take New York

Dancing with the Stars

Best Women Fighting Show

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Real Housewives of Atlanta

Bad Girls Club

Mob Wives

Basketball Wives

The View

Best Real Life Documentary, Rural

Swamp People

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

Teen Mom

Small Town Security

19 Kids and Counting

My Big, Fat American Gypsy Wedding

Best Real Life Documentary, Urban

Jersey Shore

Shahs of Sunset

The Real World

Gallery Girls

Push Girls

Best Make Over Show

The Biggest Loser

Made

My Fair Wedding

What Not to Wear

Property Brothers

Best Real Estate Porn

House Hunters

Million Dollar Listing

Selling New York

Flipping Out

Best Hoarding Show

Hoarders

Hoarding: Buried Alive

Confessions: Animal Hoarding

Most Tolerable Exploitation of Psychological Disorders

Intervention

Hoarders

My Strange Addiction

Extreme Couponing

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Best Villain, Male

Colton Combie, Survivor

Willie Hantz, Big Brother

Jeff Lewis, Flipping Out

Simon Cowell, The X-Factor

The Situation, The Bachelor

Dave Hester, Storage Wars

Best Villain, Female

Courtney Robinson, The Bachelor

NeNe Leakes, Real Housewives of Atlanta

Abby Lee Miller, Dance Moms

Aubrey O’Day, Celebrity Apprentice

Ramona Singer, Real Housewives of New York

Drita D’Avanzo, Mob Wives

Best Hero, Female

Rachel Trueheart, Bachelor Pad

Britney Haynes, Big Brother

Caroline Manzo, Real Housewives of New Jersey

Stacey London, What Not to Wear

Khloe Kardashian, Every Show on E!

Big Ang, Mob Wives

Best Reality Television Program Recapper

Brian Moylan