The Least Normal Things About ‘The New Normal’: Twitter Edition

ALTNBC’s The New Normal is a delightful show about a not very ordinary gay couple trying to have a surrogate daughter with a strange woman who has an oddball child and an unbelievably bigoted (and funny) grandmother. NeNe Leakes is also somehow involved. As much as it would like us to believe that this is the way the world works today, like most Ryan Murphy shows it is really a celebration of the oddities within all of us. Therefore this weekly feature is both a celebration (and indictment) of all the abnormality contained within it.

Normal: A kid who has both an iPhone and an iPad.

Abnormal: A poor kid whose mother has no job with both an iPhone and an iPad.

Normal: Saturday Night Live stars going onto bigger and brighter things.

Abnormal: Cheri Oteri’s career. Seriously, where has she been? And how hilarious was she? Give this lady some work!

Normal: Someone saying he has a doughy face.

Abnormal: Someone saying he has a doughy face, when he looks like this.

Normal: Having a Google Alert on your name, or your favorite star.

Abnormal: No one has a Jennifer Love Hewitt Google Alert, not even her mom.

Normal: People caring about TV shows.

Abnormal: People caring about TV ratings. We don’t care about your “Live +3″s, we’re watching your show right now, give us some jokes we’re going to be into.

ALTNormal: NeNe Leakes getting a new hairstyle.

Abnormal: NeNe Leakes getting a new hairstyle that makes her look like she got caught in a wind tunnel and turned into a blonde Q-Tip.

Normal: Checking your phone at the dinner table.

Abnormal: Wanting to talk at the dinner table. No one does this anymore. You see your family all the time. Twitter is always new!

Normal: Using WebMD to diagnose your symptoms.

Abnormal: WebMD telling you that you have something other than cancer or AIDS. It’s always cancer or AIDS

Normal: Sexting.

Abnormal: I’m sorry, I love a sext as much as the next perv, but online sex is not any better than real sex.

Normal: Making a video for your special someone.

Abnormal: No self respecting gay would make a video that bad.

Normal: Following Brett Easton Ellis‘ Twitter rants.

Abnormal: Blocking Brett Easton Eliis. He and June and their contrarian racism would get along so well.

Normal: Little kids playing the recorder.

Abnormal: A little girl playing a song on the recorder that is not “Hot-Crossed Buns.”

Normal: Not wanting to be trapped with Neve Campbell in an elevator

Abnormal: Bonnets.

Normal: Wearing the same clothes more than once.

Abnormal: Brian’s awful puffy vest is back. Put it in an elevator with Neve Campbell and set it on fire.

Normal: Parodying another show on your show.

Abnormal: Holy Crap, they totally made a fake Glee!

Normal: Having a favorite character on Glee.

Abnormal: Ew, no one hearts Lea Michele, not even a fake Lea Michele.

Normal: A kid wanting to have an iPad.

Abnormal: No kid would ever want to have real life experiences more than playing on an iPad. Have you ever even tried “Ham on the Run.” That shit is addictive.

Normal: Joining Twitter and being excited about it.

Abnormal: Joining Twitter and being so excited about it that you write an entire episode of a sitcom devoted to it. You can follow Ryan Murphy @MrRPMurphy.

Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan

[Photo Credit: NBC(2)]


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