‘The Office’ Recap: Ultimatum

“Now if she’s engaged I’m going to go crazy and I’m going to start attacking people. If she’s not engaged, in all honesty, I may just burn this whole place down out of happiness. Either way, I am going to need some talking down. And nobody talks me down like myself in a video talking me down.”

S07E13 Who knew Michael could be so sweet? Sure, he tried to stuff a full stalk of broccoli down Kevin’s throat, but he was just encouraging the guy to eat some vegetables. Who could blame him?

Kicking off the new year is Holly’s big ultimatum to AJ; whether he popped the question or not. Turns out he didn’t. And she didn’t either. She wussed out and basically let him off the hook. This causes some conflicting feelings with Michael as he was happy that AJ didn’t ask Holly to marry him, but also disappointed that she didn’t stick to her word. So he took his anger out on Kevin with the broccoli. Now it all makes sense.

“This is a new food for me, how else would I eat it?”

But why did Kevin want to eat Broccoli? Pam’s latest adventure as office administrator is a New Year’s resolution board designed to help motivate people to keep their promises to themselves. Of course it backfires when everyone starts pointing out how everyone else breaks their resolutions. The best resolution goes to Ryan for wanting “to live life like an art project.” The wittiest resolution goes to Kevin for subtly changing it to “fart project” and then farting. Oh farts. Glad to see you still have a place in one of the most influential comedies of the past decade and one of the biggest hits on television. Go America!

Michael attempts to make amends with Kevin and Creed (who he had tried to shame into performing his resolution – a cartwheel – in front of the entire staff) with Holly present in what may or may not have been a veiled attempt at reconciling with her, too. I couldn’t tell, much like how I couldn’t tell if what Michael said in the conference room was directed toward Holly or not. Either way, she took it as such, but before anything could happen with that Kevin forgave Michael with one of his sure-to-be strangling hugs.

Creed doesn’t forgive him, but by the end of the episode when Michael helps show him how to do a cartwheel, all is right again.

“Hey, right back at you bitch.”

And finally at the end Holly does end up taking a break from AJ. With a slightly mischievous smile toward the camera as she walked away at the end, Holly may be getting back. Woo!

But that wasn’t every thing. We also got the greatest trio since the Musketeers. Daryl takes Andy and Dwight to the bookstore since both of their resolutions were to meet women. Daryl has taken it upon himself to become the best he can be (which he is well on his way to becoming) and lets them tag along. When Dwight and Andy strike out, they look for other options. Dwight wants to go to a strip club and they settle for the roller rink across the street. Oh Monday’s, how could Garfield ever hate you?

“Hey what book is that? Cool, lets hang out tonight. Sex already? Whoooa.”

Turns out Daryl really wants to better himself since he practically reads the whole time. Turns out Andy is really good at roller skating, though that really isn’t surprising. Turns out Dwight would rather see the Monday day-shift strippers and has knee and elbow pads in his car. But it can’t all be bad when it ends with a strobe light party.

All in all, not the worst episode of The Office ever. A little disappointing since we learn we have even less time with Michael Scott then we thought we did, but if the writers can manage to keep the character the way he is in this episode, his exit will be one of the sweetest and saddest goodbyes ever!

Also, where the hell was Jim in this episode? He showed up in the cold opening and then went AWOL. CONSPIRACY? Probably. Not. Who knows. Let him have a break.