‘The Real Housewives of NYC’ Recap: March Madness for Alex and Sonja

S4:E2 Last night on the Real Housewives of New York City addressed the fact that these women cannot outwardly support a cause without getting into fights about who supports the cause more, and screaming at each other about who most deserves to make a speech about why they think the cause is important. Obviously, considering all the benefits and charity events we have watched them attend over the past three seasons, this topic was long overdue of analysis.

“They asked me to be the grand marshal. And they said, ‘we’ll have several speakers, but we want you to kick it off because you’re so light and funny, and you’re such a gay icon.’” – Sonja

The episode started when LuAnn arrived at Sonja’s house and found a makeup artist working Sonja over in preparation for the speech she was going to give before the March for Marriage Equality began. Someone on the committee came up with the idea of how it would be cute if the housewives walked across the Brooklyn Bridge in their wedding dresses, but since all of them wore negligees at their weddings, Sonja got a couple of real gowns from a New Jersey designer so the girls could wholeheartedly mock a real American political issue. Kelly and Alex also met Sonja and LuAnn in the bathroom, and Sonja was very thankful that all her friends showed up at her house to help her get ready and support her on the day she had been chosen to speak about how everyone deserves the right to be like her and have multiple failed marriages. As everyone was getting dressed, Sonja kept calling it “my day,” and consistently reminded LuAnn, Alex and Kelly that she invited them over to her house before the march because she needed their support and she needed them to calm her down since she hadn’t written anything to say. This made Alex very upset because she didn’t think Sonja recognized they were all there for the bigger issue.

“We were told that as part of Sonja agreeing to be grand marshal, she insisted that she would be the only one out of our group to speak.” – Alex

The women went up to the podium and Alex was told that no one else was allowed to make a speech except for Sonja, because she only agreed to be the grand marshal if she would be the only one to rally up the masses. This sent Alex into an outrage because her husband Simon had written a speech for the event too, and she had specifically searched high and low for a rainbow-colored tuxedo jacket for him to wear (because in addition to his words, people needed to know that he supported marriage equality in a way that wasn’t him just being present at the march). Sonja said the committee only invited her to speak so she deserved to be the only one, and Alex kept asking Sonja if she would give permission to Simon to speak but Sonja made duck faces and pretended she didn’t hear that she was being asked a question. Alex broke out in hives and Simon’s bowtie began to spin with rage. Everyone continued fighting until Kelly interjected and said they were all embarrassing themselves, and they needed to listen to the other people speaking. Eventually, Sonja got up and made her speech that was interrupted by nervous walks away from the podium.

“Because we didn’t hear it at the march, I want to hear Simon’s speech.” – Alex

Back at Alex and Simon’s house after the march, Alex made a toast and asked to hear the speech Simon had prepared. He said that 11 years ago, he came to the states from Australia for what he thought would be three weeks and he met “an Alex.” “Fortunately,” he said, the “Alex” he met was an “Alexandra,” but he pointed out how easily it could have been an “Alexander…” and that if it had been an Alexander, he wouldn’t have been able to get a fiancé visa, a green card, or have become a US citizen. Considering how ferociously Sonja and Alex fought over who supported gay marriage more, it was interesting that instead of noticing how Simon said the only reason gay marriage should be legal is so it can make the process of getting a green card easier, they were more consumed with how it seemed to finally be him admitting his homosexuality.

“I look, like 80 years old.” – Sonja

Sonja was planning on having an art party and she intended to showcase the work of her artist boyfriend, Brian. So she went to his studio to check out a painting of her that he had done, and upon seeing it, Sonja was confused because it seemed to her like Brian painted her to look much older than she was. There wasn’t very much color on the canvas so it looked completely washed out, and Sonja’s figure looked tremendously aged and her gaze was totally vacant and almost lifeless. Sonja was shocked because she thought Brian knew what she looked like from all the sex they’d been having in the dark, and she couldn’t understand why Brian would paint something that didn’t look like her.

“She found her voice, now she needs to be quiet.” – LuAnn

LuAnn and Sonja met up for lunch to talk about what happened at the March for Marriage Equality. Sonja called it a “drive-by shooting,” and felt that the way Alex and Simon acted was completely inappropriate and compared the sounds of Alex’s yells to that of an insect. LuAnn agreed (even though at the march, she said “hey listen, Sonja, we’re here for marriage equality – this isn’t YOUR day”), and argued that it was good Alex finally found the means to stand up for herself, but that it was beginning to become enough already.

“Cute boys here. Look around.” – Sonja

Ramona invited everyone except Kelly to sit at her table at a charity event hosted by Mr. Gucci. As she was lining up all of the table’s place cards, Ramona was informed that Sonja brought Kelly to the dinner. Ramona was scrambling and trying to figure out if Kelly would be sitting at her table, but it was proving to be quite difficult because Alex kept wanting to talk about how Sonja’s idea of supporting a cause was to mock it and not allow anyone else to support it with her. As it turned out, Kelly didn’t stay for dinner. So Ramona stirred up a new project for herself and sat herself next to Sonja so she could find out what happened between her and Alex at the March for Marriage Equality. Sonja said she didn’t appreciate Alex and Simon screaming at her 5 minutes before she was to go onstage, that she wasn’t a doormat, and that it better not happen again. The whole threat was pretty convincing, because she showed up that night and sat at a table to raise money for the African Foundation while wearing a dress made of ostrich feathers.

“You know what? Let’s take this outside because you have the worst manners that I have ever seen.” – Sonja

When Alex showed up at Sonja’s art party, Sonja went up to her and said the whole scuffle was “water off a duck’s back” to her. She did clarify, however, that if Simon ever got in her ear like that again, there were going to be problems. Alex broke out in hives AGAIN and explained the reason why Simon got in her ear was because she took the speaking gig at the march under the condition that she was going to be the only one to speak. Alex couldn’t understand why she would want to hijack an event like that, and things just got more and more out of control until Sonja kicked Alex out of her house party, but not before yelling that they take their argument outside. But they never got outside, and Sonja repeatedly screamed at Alex that this was the wrong time to get into a fight about the march about WHO SUPPORTS GAY PEOPLE THE MOST, and it was also the wrong time to fight about it at the march itself. Sonja finally threw Alex out of her house, and after all the other women arrived, Sonja wasted no time in letting them all know that Alex had lost her damn mind. At the end of the night, Brian revealed the finished painting of Sonja, and each and every one of the women thought it was hideous. Except Sonja, of course.