The Situation Only Dates Women Under 30: Late Last Night

After Jamie Lee Curtis talked about being the spokeswoman for bowel movements on Leno last night, The Situation came on and said the oldest woman he’d ever get with would be 30. It’s funny because he’s also thirty, and has Converse stars shaved into his head. It’d be cool on a hamster, and that’s what I was thinking about the rest of the time Jamie Lee was on stage and sexualizing her age.

The Situation also talked about what it was like to go to college for business management, and compared his abs to the ones Jamie Lee Curtis got from jazzercising in rooms that were lined with panting tarps.

Justin Long was on Fallon last night to promote Alpha and Omega, but that didn’t happen. Instead, he talked like Droopy. BUT YOU SHOULD WATCH IT because it’s funnier than it sounds…which is decidedly unfunny, and only a talent for unemployed fathers of second graders.

Jon Stewart talked about how Austan Goolsbee was appointed the new Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors, and all he’s been doing so far is say how broke, unemployed, and frustrated we are about everything…and how considering that information, it’s strange Joe Biden declared this summer the Summer of Recovery.

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And Stephen Colbert used his segment, The Word, to talk about his anger towards Terry Jones, the Reverend from Florida who said he’d burn a bunch of Korans and then didn’t…because he said he didn’t have to.

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