Happy Mother’s Day! Today everyone will be celebrating the nice ladies who toiled for hours in labor to give birth to them. We’ll also be celebrating the wonderful women who give us an idealized version of what motherhood is like from their portrayals on the old tube of boobs. But for every June Cleaver and Clair Huxtable, there are more and more absolutely horrible specimens of parenting. Here are some of the absolute abominations that Dr. Spock (no, not the one from Star Trek) could teach a thing or two.
Betty Draper: Mad Men‘s resident ice princess has done all sorts of awful and selfish things in her day, but nothing is worse than the casual way with which she ignores her children, especially young Sally who is often crying for help. This season she’s left them at home with her battle axe mother-in-law while trotting off with her new husband. Even when she is around, most of her discipline can be boiled down to a terse, “Go to your room.” And there was all that smoking while pregnant stuff.
Nancy Botwin: Selling drugs isn’t the worst of this mom-sters worries. We’ve seen her go from a woman trying to sell pot to make ends meet to becoming an actual sociopath with a son who is a murderer and another one who hates her but wants to join the family business. What will Weeds do next? Have her actually kill one of them?
Susan Mayer: Thankfully, Desperate Housewives ends on this Mother’s Day and takes Teri Hatcher’s awful mothering with it. She spent so much time whining about her troubles to her teenage daughter that Julie fled Wisteria Lane. Then, when she had a second kid, she couldn’t keep him from being kidnapped by a vengeful murderer. It got so bad we had to stop watching.
NEXT: Money can’t buy you class.
Victoria Grayson: I’m shocked that Victoria’s children Daniel and Charlotte haven’t tried to get vengeance on their mother on Revenge. When she’s not cold and calculating, she’s smothering and manipulative. And that’s when she’s not lying to them about who their real fathers are.
Nurse Jackie: Sure, having a drug addiction, cheating on your husband, and living a double life is one thing, but not being able to stop when your children (including one with severe mental problems) are in danger is another. She can’t even take a tap class with her daughter without it ending in a nasty mess.
Cersei Lannister: You might say the queen mother of Westeros was a good mother and knows how to play the Game of Thrones, but when you look at her evil offspring (sired by her own brother), you’ll see that she’s only been looking out for herself all along.
NEXT: Horror Stories
Lily van der Woodsen: This society dame may be at the center of Gossip Girl‘s world, but she was absent for many years of raising her children while she was off marrying Klaus and Claus. Even when they live with her they’re partying, drugging, and letting guys die of overdoses in strange hotel rooms. Then Eric, her suicidal gay son, just drops off the face of the earth and she doesn’t even wonder about him. You think with all that money she’d buy a nanny… or a clue.
Regina Mills: Once Upon a Time she poisoned her own step-daughter with a poisoned apple. Now, after an evil curse, she has an adopted son that she neglects so often that he’s just running around town with his biological mother and sneaking out of her house in the middle of the night.
Everyone on American Horror Story: If you thought that Vivien Harmon was a bad mom for not noticing for a few months that her depressed daughter was dead, just wait until you meet Constance, who killed one of her sons because he was ugly, forced the other one to spend her time in a mirrored closet, and had a complicated relationship with another son who was a psychotic mass murderer. Oh, and now she’s raising the child of demons. Thank god neither of them are back next season.
NEXT: Bad, bad Breaking Bad Mom.
Jenna Maroney: You don’t really think of the 30 Rock ditzy diva as having children, but when she gets together a reunion of her egg donor babies, she completely shuns the one who isn’t blond and pretty. That’s no laughing matter. (Okay, it totally is.)
Lori Grimes: Lori, you live in a world full of zombies. How do you never know where your kid is?
Skyler White: First of all she was so stupid that she didn’t know her husband was a meth cooker on Breaking Bad. Then, after she found out, she was so stupid to go spending all of his money and get him in trouble with gangsters. God, Skyler, get a clue. And let Walter Jr have his cool car already.
Gillian Darmody: There are a lot of awful parents on this list, but this Boardwalk Empire mess takes the Mother’s Day brunch. Not only did she raise her son in front of showgirls and prostitutes, but when he was older she actually slept with him! The only person who is possibly worse than that is… well, no one!