Can someone, please, just tell us the theme of American Horror Story already?
We’ve been racking our brains trying to figure out what’s going on with the onslaught of insanely creepy teasers FX started releasing for the show. The promos show conflicting themes — aliens, demons, possible murder, and an eerie-as-anything farmhouse — but nothing has been definitive. Leaked photos from the set have lead us to believe the story may focus on the lost colony of Roanoke (and possibly the aliens that made them disappear), but knowing Ryan Murphy, the whole thing could have been an elaborate set up. Seriously, he has us questioning how TMZ “obtained” the leaked photos (did you mail them in Murphy? We’re onto you).
The most frustrating part of the whole charade is that only one of the many teasers actually shows the upcoming season six theme. Sure, some of them seem a bit campy and probably fake, but for the most part, they all seem like they’d fit well.
For everyone who just can’t wade through the trailers and maintain any level of sanity, on Thursday, The Huffington Post exclusively premiered a brand new teaser that supports an elaborate fan theory that may very well reveal the answer to our burning question.
The new promo is titled “Anthology” and shows each season of AHS connected to the next.
The promo stresses how each season is linked together, which is proven to be true in the actual show (most noticeably in Asylum and Freak Show). This is the key to figuring out which teaser is actually real.
Reddit user HazyVision explains his theory in depth in a blog post, but to summarize, the trailer that’s probably correct is the one that links to American Horror Story’s first season, Murder House. Another key fact is that every trailer seems to pay tribute to popular horror movies except for one — “Wind Chimes.”
The teaser showing an abduction could easily be linked to Close Encounters of the Third Kind. The one with the chainsaw sounds and creepy farmhouse is obviously an homage to Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The one with the shadowed people standing in farmland has major The Hills Have Eyes vibes. It goes on and on. The only one that has no link to something else is those creepy, teeth-laden wind chimes.
So, how is this connected to Murder House? In the teaser, a nurse is using hedge clippers to cut the wind chimes that are made from teeth and other dangling objects. Ryan Murphy revealed at PaleyFest 2012 that the hedge clippers killer was an idea that was dropped from AHS season 1. The killer is actually still present in the season’s title sequence.
It’s so quick, you may have missed it when you originally watched it, but here are the stills.
“Wind Chimes” could also link to Murder House with this little tidbit of dialogue you probably forgot happened. As we know, TMZ obtained leaked set pictures that showed season six would probably have something to do with the lost Roanoke colony. In Murder House, Billie Dean (Sarah Paulson’s character) tells a story about colonists who died and began haunting local Native Americans, which forced the Native Americans to perform an exorcism. The Reddit user speculates that the wind chimes, which include straw dolls among the teeth, look Native American.
FX accidentally narrowed the season’s theme down more when they held an American Horror Story sweepstakes on Instagram. Fans had to choose the teaser that best represented Season 6 for the chance to win a car, but out of the 10 teasers, only six were included in the contest. Basically, one of these has to be the correct theme: Post Op, Lullaby, Wind Chimes, The Shadow, Blind Date, or Camp Site.
The Huffington Post narrowed it down even more when they contacted a magician named Brian Curry. Yes, it sounds silly, but Curry is a master at performing tricks and using mind-reading to choose correct items from a list. According to Curry, when people try to fool him onstage, they rarely have their correct answer in the first or last spot. It’s most often in the middle.
Among the teasers for the FX sweepstakes, “Wind Chimes” is in the middle. If that isn’t proof, seriously, what is?
FX also released two other teasers since Thursday, which, based on our theory, are probably bogus.
This one doesn’t even seem like it could possibly be real.
Which treaser do you think is real? Sound off in the comments!