‘True Blood’ Recap: Let’s Get Out Of Here

eric smirkyS4E9: “I love you, both of you, and I’m asking you to love me back. Together.” – Sookie

So in this week’s episode of True Blood, the conflict with Mantonia heightens further while… oh heck, who am I kidding. Let’s talk about the three way! Not that it was much of one. If it’s possible to call a three-way mundane, this one certainly was. There was more time spent on Sookie talking the boys into it than doing the actual deed, and then that was pretty straight-forward, emphasis on straight. Come on guys, we already know that Eric goes both ways (at least when it comes to complicated revenge schemes and Talbot), and that Bill likes “the water in Arkansas very hard“, if you catch my drift. So why not let them have a little fun?

Because when you have fun, babies happen. And babies are the worst consequence of all, as Lafayette could tell you, after his brief interlude as historical ghost Mavis. While I’m not quite sure what that plot was doing there, it did result in the incompetent crime-fighting dream team of Jason, Pantsless Andy, Terry, and Arlene. Jesus, on the other hand, shows an impressive talent for hostage negotiation, talking Mavis down and getting to the bottom of her tragic backstory. I enjoyed the payoff of the season-long creepy baby arc, and Mavis’ accent into the afterlife was actually pretty cool, but I’m still not sure what it has to do with anything else. Though that’s proving to be an especially futile question to ask of True Blood.

“So when you guys role play, does Lafayette ever turn into a woman named Mavis?” – Jason, culturally sensitive as always.

I may not be giving the show enough credit, however, since Alcide and Debbie actually participated in the main plot tonight- the former rescuing Sookie and Tommy, the latter serving as hesitant getaway driver for Sookie. Tommy’s trip to talk to Marcus as Sam may have been well-intentioned, if not for the minor fact that Tommy’s a complete idiot who can’t go 30 seconds without insulting someone. (He must be a distant cousin of Nathan from Misfits.) Kudos to the director, as well, for juxtaposing Tommy’s beat-down with the very deed that he’s getting beat up for. Generally I’m against True Blood adding new characters, since their cast rivals the population of some small countries, but I’ll admit to liking Luna, and her adorable kid. What can I say, I’m a sucker for snark and bunnies.

However, I’m not entirely sure what’s up with Debbie. Sookie mindreads her and finds good intentions, but she seems to double cross Sookie at the Magic Box and offer her up to Marnie as a distraction. Had it not been for Tara actually being smart and using Sookie’s powers in a clever way, she probably would’ve been captured. So maybe Debbie just flakes under pressure, or maybe she was actually trying to get Sookie caught, but either way, I don’t trust her possessive, V-snorting ass any further than I could throw her. Maybe she and Crystal can start a psycho were-girlfriend club, and bedazzle some matching vests.

“I wish I was dead, except that I am and it doesn’t even matter!” – Jessica

Hell, maybe they can make one for Mantonia, as well. Disappointed by the lackluster effects of her last spell, the ghost/witch decides to target the vampire Tolerance Festival over the objections of her Wiccan crew (except for henchman Roy, who is quickly becoming my new favorite character. So immoral! So stupid!) She takes the whole new flavor of Eric, Puppet Eric, along with her in order to lead the vampire guards away. With a rogue Necromancer on the loose, wouldn’t have been a better idea to stick with human guards? Oh well, I guess hindsight is 20-20. While I certainly don’t want Bill and Nan murdered on national television, I still think that True Blood shoots itself in the foot whenever they try to draw comparisons between the “vampire rights movement” and real life civil rights movements. Because, say what you will about cuddly vamps like Jessica, many vampires do survive by unapologetically eating people. Being afraid of vampires isn’t prejudiced, it’s a sign of a strong self-preservation instinct. One that Sookie especially seems to lack.

Best Moments:

Sookie’s subconscious’s versions of Bill and Eric were adorable. And, it’s interesting to note that the Eric in her head is more like Normal Eric than Amnesiac Eric. Very interesting…

“I’m a multiple tent owner.”

I forgot to talk about Jessica and Jason, and their burgeoning relationship. I loved how Jason crossed out the “Monster” on the box that Hoyt filled with Jessica’s stuff. Jason is really just the sweetest character on the show.

“You got it, bitch”  Lafayette manages to stay composed, even after being possessed by a crazy lady.

“I am from Louisiana, I do not share”

“These nature bunnies like to run away.”