‘True Blood’ Season Finale: Six Twists We Could Not Bear

Evil Bill on True Blood FinaleTrue Blood’s fifth season has been hard to pin down. There’s been a general pseudo-political wash thrown over everything, but that gets pretty messy when you start involving Russell Edgington, actual U.S. politics, and trying to figure out how to fit werewolves into the plot. Even so, the series has managed to whittle down its overly abundant storylines for the setup of its finale.

We have, however, been burned a few times this season. As long as TB doesn’t commit these sins, we could be looking at a decent season-ender.

Bill Suddenly Forgets This Whole Being a Total Douche Mess

This whole season, we’ve watched in disbelief as Bill has become what we’ve always been sure he wasn’t: evil and a follower. He’s lost his strength, and while he’s done wrong in weak moments in the past, he always maintains remorse or, at the very least, good intentions. Now, he’s gone full-metal-asshole. It’s one of the more intriguing aspects of this season, and one that should continue into the next. Please, for the love of Lilith, don’t let him wake up and magically see the error of his ways. Keep Bill evil. Keep the show interesting.

Lilith Isn’t Vanquished

Alright, let’s hang on to Evil Bill, but can we cut it out with the blood-drenched, hissing naked Goddess please? She did her job; she inspired evil. And wouldn’t it be a fantastic twist if everyone thought they could just vanquish Lilith and Bill would be saved, when in reality he’s stuck as Evil Bill? That would be a fantastic way to leave us all hanging.

Hoyt Comes Back From Alaska

Seriously. Don’t. Life was so much better once he left. And bringing him back won’t fix Jason’s mopey problem, it will just drive a bigger wedge between him and Jessica. And nobody wants that.

Mirella Has The Infernal Andy Baby

This is completely morbid and if she was a real person I would feel horrible for saying this, but what if Mirella just happens to jaunt back to the fairy tent as Russell is storming the flapping curtains and he happens to catch her eye? She’d be gone in a second and so would this ridiculous Andy-has-two-girlfriends story. Andy doesn’t need a love triangle and we certainly don’t need a baby version of him, either.

Jason Forgets Everything About His Character And Rides The Hate Wave

Jason is a good guy. He’s a dumb guy, but he’s inherently good. He’s a bit of a slut, but he is ultimately a really sweet guy. So why, oh why, would he jump on the hate train so easily, especially when mere episodes ago, he was torn up over Jessica? Part of the excitement of a TV-bound potential couple is the obstacles that lay before them, but if the promos are telling the truth and the next obstacle is this out of Jason’s character-base, that excitement is going to dwindle into grumbly frustration.

Nora and Eric Continue This Brother-Sister Sex Romp

It’s uncomfortable. Truly. No amount of romantic music in the world can make this sister and brother sexual relationship fun or compelling. And ultimately, that’s because the two actors simply have no chemistry (and in a small part because some of us still want to Sookie to get back on the Eric train and she can’t if Nora’s bringing up the caboose).

What do you think will happen on Sunday’s finale?

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[Photo Credit: HBO]


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