‘Weeds’ Recap: Quantitative Spatial Reasoning

S7E12: Nancy’s really gotten herself into a pickle this time – which is exactly what you want from a late season episode of Weeds. While New York as a setting didn’t seem to infuse any real danger into this season, the reintroduction of Heylia and the addition of Demetri finally produced something a little dicer, lending this second-to-last episode of the season an air of danger and urgency we haven’t seen on the series in quite some time.

“I’d hate to piss that woman off.” –Demetri

Nancy and Silas are fully at odds this week; in the first few minutes of the episode, we get a 60s-esque series of quick cuts as they scramble to steal their shared contacts from each other. Nancy loses the SEC guy when Silas’ call puts the fear in him, but she gains Silas’ old modeling agency friend who in turn takes on the PR gig for Nancy’s fancy new weed business to spite Silas for ignoring her.

Their pitch to Doug’s company goes well, in great part thanks to Doug taking one for the team by sexing up the SEC lady in a closet while the meeting continues (which was expected, but just a little creepy). Nancy’s new service is invite only and offers models – girls this time – delivering the high-end weed via town car. It’s grossly opulent and over-the-top, but something tells me a service like that would do pretty well.

“She values 8 percent of me.” –Andy

Andy chooses Silas’ side over Nancy’s when she refuses to play ball and won’t match Silas’ 25 percent offer. Silas manages to bring Emma back onto his side by telling her he likes her (damn, girls get dumb when Silas and his abs show up) and that they both want to take his mom down. This new partnership means lots of sex and cohabitation in her Upper East Side apartment – which explains why she’s already out of jail (rich parents).

Silas is running out of MILF and for some reason won’t accept anything less (that reason is actually so the writers have an excuse to bring Heylia’s awesome energy back into the equation). He tries to get some supply from Demetri, even calling Nancy an old horse, but of course, Nancy’s there and she’s incredibly hurt by Silas’ over-the-line betrayal. Demetri sees how upset she is, and like a dumb little puppy dreams up a half-baked solution. When Silas calls Heylia into New York, he intercepts the call with indeterminate military magic –if all soldiers can do that so easily, I’m worried for our country – and sends a gang of Sarah-Palin-mask-wearing thugs to rough up Dean and Heylia and steal the MILF.

“You can’t go to war halfway.” –Demetri

Here’s where things get out of hand. Shane completes his internship by reuniting Wallette with his son, Billy – by threatening Billy with bodily harm if he doesn’t comply. Am I actually starting to like creepy Shane Botwin?

Demetri’s boys land Dean in the hospital and Silas is at his wit’s end. He determines to skewer Nancy, just as she tells Demetri to give the MILF back so she can make things right with Silas. She also finds out she’s about to get Stevie back and as she looks as shiny, new apartments that look nothing like New York apartments, Silas and Emma are setting the ultimate trap for our weed-dealing mama. Emma tells Wallette that the only reason Nancy turned in Pouncy House was to cover her own operation just as Silas picks up her sister at the airport (with a subtle product placement for JetBlue – airline of evil sisters?). There’s just one small snag in all of this: Silas looks like he’s about to pass out. It would seem our bratty 20-something is already in over his head. Too bad this is the only thing mommy can’t save him from.

It looks like Weeds will finally give us a season finale to get really excited about; as long as things continue to get messier we’re in for a good time. And from the number of guns in next week’s preview, odds are good we’re headed towards a serious cliffhanger.