‘White Collar’ Recap: Player Vs. Player

Matt Bomer, White CollarUSA Network

Ever hear of an Elevator Pitch? That’s where people summarize their ideas or job history and qualities in the amount of time it takes to ride an elevator to the lobby. This is an Elevator Recap for this episode of White Collar. Ready? Going down. Oh, please don’t put in those earbuds…

After carefully inspecting the home of the woman that Neal Caffrey (Matt Bomer) thought was Rebecca Lowe (Bridget Regan), he and FBI agent Peter Burke (Tim DeKay) decided to play things like he didn’t know what the situation was to avoid spooking Lowe. He was going to meet her for breakfast while the FBI continued searching Lowe’s place and adding bugs, but she showed up at his place early and after a quick call by Caffrey, pretending he was going to be late which alerted Burke that it was OK to continue searching her home. An idiot FBI agent dropped a file on a tripwire on the door and it alerted Lowe, but Burke’s quick thinking of leaving a Chinese delivery menu made her think it was the menu that set it off. Oh yeah, and Caffrey  had told Lowe that he was falling in love with her to buy more time before she left, turning her into a near-giggling schoolgirl. 

Burke and Caffrey decided to change the angle and had her come in to the office, where Burke told Lowe that he thought it was Caffrey who had murdered Curtis Hagen (Mark Sheppard) and that she should keep her distance. She then quickly called Caffrey and met him at a nearby park – with about 50,000 undercover agents and Caffrey having a directional mic pen. She was about to blurt out who she was but then spotted the undercovers and fled, comandeering a taxi.

Now that her cover was completely blown, Burke and Caffrey were examining her apartment – with a brief interelude of Lowe sending a warning shot through a window that grazed the debonair con man – and found her go bag with money. After that, they found the gun that she had used to kill Agent David Siegel (Warren Kole) – it was in a construction site that had just had cement poured on the day Siegel died. Burke sent Caffrey home – telling him to stay off the grid. But Caffrey contacted Lowe and then met her (whose real name was Rachel Turner, a traitorous M-5 agent), at a location that she had texted after he promised to give up where the diamond was in exchange for the blackmail video that Hagen had taken at an abandoned church and lured her to kiss him by pretending he didn’t want the blackmail video. He handcuffed her to him and destroyed the thumb drive with the video. She tried to escape, but the FBI caught her.

All’s well that ends well, right? Burke finalized his going to Washington, telling Caffrey and then his wife, Elizabeth (Tiffani Thiessen), who had been in D.C. in hiding after Burke found Lowe/Turner had a file on her. They toasted to new beginnings. Elsewhere, Caffrey and Mozzie (Willie Garson) were toasting to trying to find the diamond without Lowe/Turner. Caffrey then got a call from the woman herself where she promised she would see him again. Dun Dun Dun.

OK, that was an Elevator Recap where I was a jerk and pushed every button so we’d stop on every floor on the way.

Caffrey’s Level of Secrecy

Fairly low, but he did decide that he was going to forge ahead in trying to find the diamond since Burke was moving to Washington. It’s going to be interesting to see how he handles dealing with Agent Clinton Jones (Sharif Atkins) as his main handler. Jones, while showing some sympathy to what Caffrey was going through in finding out that he had been conned, isn’t as trusting as Burke.

Silly Plot Devices

Lowe suddenly recognizing an FBI agent in the park by the way they stopped acting normal and blatantly standing there with a sign saying, “HI. I AM AN UNDERCOVER COP WATCHING YOU.” Of course, it was to keep the plot going since it was halfway through the show, but it always irritates me.

Mozzie’s Quirkiness Level

Medium. He was being supportive of Caffrey in the beginning as he was processing that he had been had by Lowe/Turner. “I even profiled her,” he said. When Cafrey said he had reached out to the con lady, he said, “This may end with me reciting Proust over your grave.” In the end, when he was trying to remember the equation that could lead to the location of the diamond, he did ask for complete silence and rosemary while he meditated. All in all, he was fairly muted this episode.

Caffrey’s Relationship Status

What relationship status? He was just completely taken by a woman he had fallen for. Caffrey will probably be off the singles market for a minimum of three episodes into the next season. Right now, his status on Facebook would be “It’s Complicated”.

Burke Self-Torture Level

Low. He just closed the case on the dead Agent Siegel and he’s moving to an even more challenging job in Washington fairly soon. He’s happy now. Eventually something’s going to get him back in Manhattan, but it’ll probably be at some point next season.