Will John Stamos Replace Charlie Sheen on ‘Two and a Half Men’?

John StamosNo. No. No. NO. NO. NONONONONONONONO. Unacceptable. Since Charlie Sheen is such a freaking basket case apparently determined to end up worse off than an alley-cat eating 10 day old tuna out of a dumpster, CBS is desperate to find some way to save their ratings bonanza of a show, Two and a Half Men, now that he’s gone. Nothing’s official at the this point, but E! Online is reporting that CBS CEO Les Moonves has been chatting up John Stamos as a potential replacement.

This Stamos role wouldn’t be Charlie’s old role (because that would be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard) but a new one arbitrarily plopped into the show (which is actually the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard). Come on, seriously? The show is not that good. I think it’d honestly be better as One and a Half Men than some contrived extension of the title to cover some weird new twist in which Stamos plays a long-lost cousin or half-brother or some bullshit like that. Beyond that, I want to continue to like John Stamos (even if he stars in Lifetime movies) and if he throws his lot in with Men — can you tell I’m not a fan of the show? — I’ll be forced to associate him with the new role on the somehow wildly successful CBS show. The only good thing that might come out of this whole thing is that IF John Stamos actually ends up negotiating an actual contract to star on the show and IF it works (which as stupid as it is, it probably will), THEN Stamos may have to give up his extracurricular appearances as Emma’s husband on Glee and viewers can enjoy a Will Shuester/Emma reunion. THAT’S THE BEST CASE SCENARIO. I say continue without Charlie and let it die out gracefully. CBS knew Charlie’s reputation when they put him on the show, in fact, that’s WHY they put him on the show. They made their bed, and now they’ve got to lie in it and if that means Two and a Half Men is going to burn out, well then that’s just what will have to happen.

Source: E!

Celebrity Editor Kelsea Stahler was born in a pile of dirt. Okay, she was actually born in an old Naval hospital in San Diego, which then became a pile of dirt and remained as such for a number of years before becoming a parking lot perfectly sized for circus tents, and finally a museum. She eventually left San Diego to attend New York University, where she studied Journalism and English literature — two less-than profitable liberal arts degrees about which guidance counselors warned her. Against all odds, she now resides in Brooklyn, where she fights the constant fear that the locals will soon discover she isn’t quite cool enough to live there, and makes a living writing absurd, pop culture features about Batman, zombies, vampires, funny people, and Ron Swanson.