Boomhauer's competitive brother Patch makes plans to wed the woman that Boomhauer has always loved.
Hank is surprised to find out that the church group he pushes Bobby into is full of punk-looking youths.
When a retired Dallas Cowboy moves onto Hank's street, it causes uproar which Hank, as the block captain, must handle.
Hank starts to act young again when Peggy slips him testosterone.
Peggy takes a job in Mexico helping prepare the children of a Mexican actor for the SATs but finds herself confused by his treatment of her. Luanne discovers that it is hard to handle all the things around the Hill household that Peggy usually did.
A mold inspection reveals that the Hill house is uninhabitable, but Hank soon discovers it's all part of an insurance scam.
Hank decides to teach Bobby about life as he rents an 18-wheeler for them to take a road trip in. Hanks buddies, uninvited, stow away. Peggy and Luanne attempt Christmas carol creation.
Bobby steals Hank's credit card to go shopping leading to a confrontation between the two Hills in the mall.
After Peggy's piece of art is rejected by Strickland Propane, it is picked up by a Dallas art dealer, but much to Peggy's dismay, the dealer paints Peggy as a picture of the uneducated hick. Dale tours the neighborhooed wearing armor.
Hank has a hard time coping with a lewd new coworker. Dale switches out one bad habit for another when he quits smoking and starts chewing.
Bill discovers a new side to himself when he helps Luanne with her beauty school exam and then takes work at a beauty salon.
While on a fishing trip, Hank, Bobby, Dale and Boomhauer set up shop next to some hippies. After Dale and Boomhauer jump ship for hamburgers, Hank and Bobby learn more about their neighbors.
Peggy finds that life as the cheerleading head coach isn't exactly as she'd dreamed it would be.
Hank convinces Dale to donate his kidney to a race car driver.
Hank's attempt to find shelter from a flood at the local dam takes a turn when, in answering a call, he is bestowed with emergency power. Bill finds power of his own at the evacuation center.
In an effort to ditch Cotton, Peggy and Hank enroll him with Senior Day Care, but he goes on to join and lead the neighborhood watch even as Dale opens his security company.
Hank's desire to teach Bobby the history of the Alamo leads to a reenactment. Peggy takes safety a step too far.
Hank and Luanne try to protest the charcoal only policy of the Texas State Grill-Off. Peggy wants to study a famous murder location.
Bobby uses his vast pop culture knowledge to lead his Quiz Bowl team to the championships but starts to feel the pressure.
Hank turns to alternative medicine, specifically yoga, to cope with a work-related back injury. Peggy tries to keep the Pink & White market open.
Kahn flips out when Connie is rejected by a school and decides to try to take after his fellow Texans in being a Redneck, but when things go too far, Hank has to talk sense into him.
Bobby chooses peer counseling over shop class hoping that he'll meet a girl even though Hank believes his son to taking shop. One of Bobby's "clients" falls for him and it turns out to not be what he expected.