Hal, Lois, Malcolm and Reese get caught in an ungodly traffic jam, leaving Dewey free to have a globetrotting adventure.
Francis comes in after Halloween and helps the boys pull off a giant prank with a very powerful slingshot. Hal tries to stop a blue sports car that drives recklessly fast through the neighborhood.
The Kenarbans invite Malcolm and his family out to dinner. Francis invites some local girls to a party in the dorm when he learns that the Commandant will be busy entertaining his mother. The local girls wreck the dorm, Lois inspires Kitty to tear into Abe and Stevie literally beats Reese at his own game.
The family goes to an Indian Reservation casino. Hal gets Malcolm's card counting help at blackjack. They get caught and Hal is banned from the casino. While Lois and Dewey bask in a spa treatment, Hal, Reese and Malcolm wander onto an Army artillery range. Francis sneaks home but learns that none of his friends can come over to party and winds up hanging out with Craig.
The boys vie for a cute babysitter's attention when they're parents go away for a convention.
Drug store bandits take Lois and Craig hostage. Hal brings home a fix-it-up piece of furnature that happens to be filled with bats.
Malcolm tries to not feel the embarrassment of Medieval Week by making a therapy claim. Francis finds his calling doing the academy's laundry.
Malcolm volunteers for a role in the high school's production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in an effort to avoid class.
Malcolm is forced to help a crotchety old lady after he breaks her arm trying to get his ball back. Francis's friend is sent to military school and Francis comes to resent how nice Spangler is to him.
A new girl in Malcom's Krelboyne class, Cynthia, develops a crush on him. He isn't sure what to make of her until she starts to develop an interest in another kid in his class.
Hal and the boys attempt to befriend the new neighbors. While the two families get off to a shaky start, Hal and the father become fast friends. The Commandant gets excited about a visit from Oliver North.
Hal has a breakdown while presenting on career day for Dewey's class and decides to quit his job and take up painting. Francis spends his spring break working with his mom.
Lois's parents visit as the refrigerator goes on the blink. After they promise to help out and then bow out, Lois and Hal have to put in a lot of overtime to make up for the difference. Francis's trip to Mardi Gras turns to disaster when he gets ill off of truck stop sushi.
After one too many unpaid parking tickets, Lois' car is impounded. The blame falls on Francis and he has to come up with a way to earn the money.
With Malcolm in the hospital for an appendix removal, the family tries to share time together.
Dewey is stranded at home while Reese and Malcolm go bowling and each story is told in the two different ways it would unfold with Hal and then Lois in charge.
In an attempt to impress Francis in order to win a concert ticket, Malcolm and Reese compete against one another.
The boys rescue a motorbike from the dump and fix it up.
Malcolm, Reese, Dewey and Stevie sneak away to check out a county fair. The plan sours when their parents catch on to the lie and the boys are trapped in the fair after it closes.
A train carrying toxic waste derails because of Hal's misplaced couch causing the neighborhood to evacuate. Dewey pretends to be orphaned while Reese creates a black market.
With Lois two weeks late, Lois and Hal reflect upon each of their children's births.