When Janet is our of town, Michael attempts to run the house. He doesn't approve of Jr.'s new friends while Claire's friend spends the night and one of them has a positive pregnancy test.
Michael has a talk with Charmaine about discussing her pregnancy with her parents and relates his own story of parenthood. He also tries to convince Jr. his friends are bad news, though he figures it out on his own.
When the kids rebel against Michael's rules, he decides that there will be no rules to give them a taste of what disorder means.
A family meeting is called to discuss Michael's strict parenting and each child describes what an ideal dad should be.
Michael tries not to say anything about Janet's obvious weight gain after she had been at her mother's for so long.
Michael and Claire play a game of cat and mouse when she plans to sneak out to go to a party and he tries to catch her in the act.
Michael is scared to take a colonoscopy and has nightmares before the treatment.
When someone in the family steals Michael last piece if pie, he forces everyone to only eat pie until the culprit comes forth.
When Jay loses her job she becomes an obsessive housewife much to the chagrin of her family and slowly realzes she likes being home more than work.
Micheal is upset when Janet buys Jr. a computer system without talking to him first because he worries what Junior might do with the 24 hour web cam.
When the class hamster comes to a tragic death at Michael hands, he can't figure out how to break the news to Kady until he catches Claire with a boy at home, and tries to make her take the blame in exchange for not telling Jay about the boy.
When Michael feels that the kids aren't spending their money wisely, he challenges them to start a business and in exchange he will match their profits.
Jay and Michael end up in therapy when she thinks he'd rather be alone than spend time with her.
Michael is determined to get his family out of the house to a wedding on time but it proves to be more difficult than he imagined.
When Janet plans a typically boring family trip, the long drive tests everyones tolerance.
Michael gets dragged to an expensive Japanese restaurant which is bad enough until he gets seated next to the annoying Tyler family.
Michael gets dragged to an expensive Japanese restaurant which is bad enough until he gets seated next to the annoying Tyler family.
Michael and Janet let Claire go on a date provided that he and Jay can chaperone.
Michael attempts to get his parents to treat each other better to make a better example for his kids but it backfires while worrying about Juniors rush to have sex with his girlfriend.
Michael takes up boxing to feel younger and teaches Junior a few moves to protect his sister's honor from a boy he thinks she's having sex with.
When Michael hires Jay after she is fired, he has trouble dealing with her around the office and asks Junior for advice.
Junior surprises everyone with a perfect score on his SAT but it soon turns out there may hev been a mistake.
Michael pretends he injured his back to get back at the kids for calling him old, by making them serve him.
After bumping into Michael's beautiful and successful ex-girlfreind Janet tries to bolster her confidence by getting a make-over and Junior is dared to steal a bra from the girls locker room.
Michael is dragged to the bowling alley for a family night out and ends up in serious competition against his nemesis and his obnoxious family.
When Jr. finally gets his license he buys a piece of junk in lieu of Michael's fatherly advice.
Michael pretends to have planned a golf trip for his and Jay's anniversary which upsets her but he has a special surprise planned.
Michael pretends to have planed a golf trip for his and Jay's anniversary which upsets her but he has a special surprise planned.