After an incident involving a mango, Kramer is banned from his local market and enlists Jerry to help him still obtain produce from the store. Meanwhile, George is experiencing some dysfunction 'south of the equator' and Jerry discovers that Elaine faked her orgasms during their relationship so he begs her to give him another chance. Jerry ends up also getting banned from the produce market.
George's self esteem takes a hit when he is forced to move back in with his parents, however his luck seems to change when he is hired as a hand model. Elaine arranges for Jerry to appear on the 'The Today Show' to promote a charity event, however he ends up wearing an embarrassing 'puffy' shirt after thinking he is taking the advice of Kramer's new 'low talking' girlfriend.
George's glasses are stolen at the health club so Kramer recommends an optometrist friend. When George and Elaine go to see him, Elaine is bitten by a dog in the store, rendering her afraid of all canines and fearful that she has rabies. Meanwhile, Jerry is worried that his girlfriend is cheating on him with his cousin as George spotted them kissing on the street, though George, of course, wasn't wearing his glasses.
Jerry, Kramer and Newman run into their mutual accountant and end up taking note that he has a habit of always sniffling. They become convinced that he is using their money to fund a drug habit and set out to discover the truth. Meanwhile, George's father gets him an interview to be a bra salesman and Elaine is frustrated with her otherwise perfect boyfriend's use of exclamation points.
When Jerry and Elaine are asked to become godparents to a newborn, they are nervous about the religious duties involved, namely their involvement in the bris ceremony. George is thrilled when he gets a great parking spot until a man jumps off a building and lands on his car. Meanwhile, Kramer is certain that he has spotted a 'pig man' and that it is the result of a secret government genetic engineering experiment.
While at the US Open Tennis Tournament, Jerry falls for a line judge who turns out to be deaf. When they start dating, George wants to use her lip reading abilities to figure out what his ex-girlfriend is saying about him. Kramer gets in the middle of the 'lip reading' translation and cause more of a problem for George. Kramer also becomes a ball man at the open. Meanwhile, Elaine has a problem communicating with a limo driver.
Kramer invests in a non-fat yogurt shop and the gang love the yogurt, so much that Jerry inadvertantly used the F-word in front of a friend's young child, who picks up the curse word.
Jerry feels guilty about leaving the barber that he has had since childhood, even though his haircuts are horrible. Kramer offers up the services of his barber who works out of an apartment so Jerry can get a new cut on the sly.
When Jerry starts dating a professional masseuse he is upset that she seems to have no plans to give him free massages. George is also upset because he is convinced that the masseuse doesn't like him, so he tries extra hard to impress her, alienating his girlfriend in the process. Meanwhile, Elaine's new boyfriend has the same name as a famous serial killer so they discuss him changing it, but they can't agree on a new name.
When George brings a woman back to his parent's house and pretends that it's his, he ends up getting grounded after his parents discover a condom wrapper in their bed and that George has given his father's TV Guide copy to Elaine.
George's new girlfriend tries to break up with him for religious reasons so he meets with a priest to discuss converting to her religion- Latvian Orthodox. Kramer meets a nun at George's new church who becomes infatuated with him, to the point of leaving the church. Meanwhile, Jerry discovers a tube of anti-fungal cream in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and fakes illness until he can figure out what it is for.
Jerry's new girlfriend is not liked by the gang, especially when Elaine discovers that it was she who refused to pass Elaine extra toilet paper under the stall after Elaine's roll was empty.
The gang are invited to a dinner party so they split up to buy gifts. Jerry and Elaine stop at a bakery to buy a cake but get stuck in a long line, and ultimately lose the chocolate cake they want as they forgot to take a number. The cake they end up with has a hair in it. Meanwhile, Kramer and George search for a bottle of wine to buy but no one will break their $100 bill.
When Jerry runs into an old high school friend who asks about George, he lies and says that George is now a marine biologist. When Kramer is working on his golf swing down on the beach and hits a whale, George is called on to use his marine biology skills. Meanwhile, Elaine has trouble with a tempermental Russian writer who throws her electronic organizer out of a limo which hits someone on the street.
Jerry is upset when his new girlfriend won't share his piece of pie with him. Things get worse when they visit her father's restaurant and Jerry notices how he doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. Elaine becomes obsessed with a store mannequin that looks just like her and Kramer has an unrelenting itch. George becomes fixated and then combative over a suit he wants but then finds out that it makes unusal sounds one he buys it.
When they get jobs as stand-ins on 'All My Children', Kramer tries to convince his friend, who is a 'little person', to wear lifts so that the young actor he stands-in for doens't outgrow him.
In order to get a discount at the drycleaner, Jerry and his new girlfriend pose as a married couple, to unexpected and unpleasant results. George is caught relieving himself in the shower and is afraid that he will be turned in. Elaine is unsure of the new guy vying for her attention and Kramer intends to impress his girlfriend's parents.
When Jerry arrives home from a three week stint on the road, his plans to spend quality time with his girlfriend are thwarted when his parents decide to stay with him for three days prior to their trip to Paris.
Jerry and his girlfriend are still desperate for some privacy from his parents so they resort to making out at a movie- 'Schindler's List'. Newman happens to be at the movie as well and spies the inappropriate act.
George shows that he is rather spineless at the birthday party of his new girlfriend's son when a fire breaks out. He feels especially guilty when Kramer rescues a bus full of people from a gunman.
The gang head to the Hamptons to see a friend's new baby. After seeing the newborn, however, the phrase 'only a face a mother could love' comes to everyone's mind.
Sick of always drawing the proverbial short stick, George decides to do the opposite of everything he normally does, which ironically turns his luck: he lands a job with the Yankees, gets a new girlfriend and moves out of his parents' house.