Bill gets carried away when Trent finally has a chance to play quarterback for his high school football team. Bill’s overzealous “coaching” causes Trent to banish him from attending the big game. Meanwhile, Lauren wants to get her bellybutton pierced.
Bill is excited that he has saved enough money to take the family to Maui until he discovers that Raffles the dog has grown a tumor. Bill is told that there is a possibility that Raffles can be saved by an expensive surgery, but it's not guaranteed. The kids find out that Raffles has a chance and try to raise the money by somewhat alternative means.
While waiting on Paul to deliver football tickets to Bill, an anniversary gift from Susan, Susan and Bill recount how they met for a report Bryan has to do for school. It was the 1980s. Bill had gone to the hospital with broken ribs, and Susan was his ER nurse. They began dating immediately, but it turns out Bill was dating another girl and didn't break up with her until months later.
Susan decides it's time to get her own job for some extra money. Not wanting to go back to nursing, she decides to try her hand at making and selling muffins. But she may be in over her head, just as Bill is in over his head trying to keep the house in order. Meanwhile, Bryan is determined to win his science fair with a specially designed rocket.
Trent has trouble on a school paper about Jane Austen, so Bill decides to help him with too much help. Meanwhile Bryan's snake is on the loose in the house, and Lauren has a minor car accident. All of this leads Susan to worry that they are being too lenient with their children, a point that comes out during an argument during which Bill convinces Susan the argument will go much better if they're both naked.
Susan complains to Bill that they are in a romance rut. Bill decides to surprise Susan with tickets to a Chris Isaak concert. But Bill is the one in for a surprise when Susan reveals that she and Chris Isaak have a romantic history together.
Bill's birthday present doesn't turn out quite like he wanted. Meanwhile, Lauren seeks her brothers' help in crafting a fake ID so she can go to a hot new club. And the Pearson's neighbor, Mr. Faulkner, woos Bill's mother.
Bill and Susan accompany Paul, Bob and Bob's new wife, Kiki, to a Korean Karaoke restaurant, where Bill sees a wilder side of Susan that he likes. Lauren starts dating an older boy without Bill's approval.