Author

Alicia Lutes
Staff Writer Alicia Lutes is a corgi enthusiast from Connecticut living in Los Angeles. She loves Tina Fey, television, ugly things and really money cheese plates. Growing up, her grandfather frequently said, "you’re so god-damned good with words! You should do something with words with your life!" so she made it her quest to plaster her wordy witticisms across the Internet. She looks forward to retiring at the age of 80 and opening a fromagerie with a small army of wrinkly-faced and stumpy-legged dogs.
  • 20th Anniversary Gives Backstreet Boys Another Nostalgia-Driven Excuse to Tour
    By: Alicia Lutes May 13, 2013
    Thanks a lot, twentysomething nostalgia obsessives. Through your rampant infatuation with reliving your middle school years, bubbly boyband (oh, sorry, "vocal harmony group") the Backstreet Boys have found yet another excuse to go on tour.  Apparently, it is the 20th anniversary of BSB's inception (they formed in 1993, and were signed to a recording contract in 1994), meaning it's time for all the sad cougars looking to score to break out the $40 t-shirt souveniers and fill up the Natty Light in order get drunk in amphitheater parking lots. Backstreet's back, alright? But not like all those other times they were back (with the NKOTBSB tour and those new Old Navy sad clown paintings called commercials). No, this time is special because the number 20 is involved.   The tour kicks off on August 2 in Chicago, Ill., and has the privilege of hosting fellow nineties fade-out Jesse McCartney and MTV's own DJ Pauly D. Because of course. Click here to see if they're coming to your town, tickets go on sale Friday, May 17. Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes More:BSB Get a Star on Hollywood Walk of FameBackstreet Boys Team Up with Old Navy98 Degrees' Jeff Timmons on Who Would Win a Boy Band Death Match From Our Partners:What Happened to 33 Child Stars (Celebuzz)40 Most Revealing See-Through Red Carpet Looks (Vh1)
  • Stream Daft Punk's 'Random Access Memories' for Free Right Now
    By: Alicia Lutes May 13, 2013
    Fans of summer, epic dance music, and a good ol' fashioned groovedown have found reason to celebrate today: Daft Punk's hotly anticipated new album, Random Access Memories, can be heard online, for free. As in right now. What are you waiting for?! The album — the band's first studio release since 2005's Human After All — has had one of the more curious origin stories of the year. First, the information about its existence was leaked by Nile Rodgers. Then, teasers of total jam-of-the-summer tune "Get Lucky" began popping up during Saturday Night Live  alongside news that the band would perform the new songs for the first time in a teeny-tiny Australian town called Wee Waa. After getting outfitted by fancy-smancy fashion label Saint Laurent Paris, the band gave us more: a teaser to the new tune "Give Life Back to Music," a new Spotify record, and a complete tracklisting via social media's newest buzzy video app, Vine. But now the wait is over: Daft Punk has released the album as a free stream on iTunes. And oh, what a relief it is to finally have the 2013 summer soundtrack in our hands. So head over to the band's artist page or simply click here. It's about to get funky, y'all. Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes More: Daft Punk and Pharrell 'Get Lucky' on New Single — LISTENDaft Punk to Debut New Album at Aussie Agricultural Wee Waa ShowWill Daft Punk's New Album Be Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger? From Our Partners:What Happened to 33 Child Stars (Celebuzz)40 Most Revealing See-Through Red Carpet Looks (Vh1)
  • 'Game of Thrones' Recap: Grin and Bear It (Season 3, Episode 7)
    By: Alicia Lutes May 12, 2013
    Death catches up to all of us, in the end. Every time, without fail, 100% of the time: in the battle of Life v. Death, Death wins. The task that's left is of the grin-and-bear it variety: die, but not without living first. Times are hard in Westeros these days, and it seems like nobody is getting what they want, because they're losing everything. Arya's lost Gendry, Sansa's lost her gay husband-to-be and a chance to escape, Joffrey's lost control, and Theon's lost all hope. It seems as though nearly everyone is fighting a losing battle — and Jaime isn't the only one in need of a hand. Oh, Game of Thrones, you tricky beast: you're going to try and dull our senses before you destroy them with senseless death and bloodshed, aren't you? Sunday night's episode, "The Bear and Maiden Fair" was the seventh of the season — meaning, we're nearly finished. Only three episodes remain and the lionshare of shenanigans (in an already packed season) are rumored to take place amongst their final minutes. So for now? Bring on the sex! By The Skin of Their... —If you were one of those people who lamented the last few episodes for not having nearly enough naked people in it, this week should've done you quite well. Robb and Talisa were the first two to get in on the action, having a quick romp in the tent before the admission that perhaps Robb's direwolf is going to have to rock a baby bassinet one of these days soon: surprise! That's right, Talisa's pregnant and Robb couldn't be more amped on it. A good, naked day for them all around. Clearly this means something terrible is going to happen to them both very soon.We pretty much only saw butts here, though. Butts butts butts — it's fun to say, isn't it? Royal butts abound! Also gettin' a bit of skin is Theon — though obviously it's not going as bang-a-rang for him. Tonight's episode saw Theon still stuck in (at least as far as the show is concerned) gods-knows-where and being tortured by our mystery psychopath. And, OK, I have to ask: did Theon just lose his d**k? Because he looks like that's what was about to happen. Theon Greyjoy joins the castrati. Oh, I'll be so sad if Theon loses his junk, you guys, because that one's really just a loss for Westeros ginger-lovers everywhere. Talk about paying the iron price: guess that's why these cats aren't all into reaping. Really brings a whole new meaning to the house motto of "We Do Not Sow," if it's true, eh? But seriously, the brutalization of Theon Greyjoy's been a tough one to watch — he's broken, and this is far ahead of his personal storyline as far as the book this season follows is concerned (book 3 of the George R.R. Martin series). And, given that it is largely un-documented on the page, this means what we saw was essentially the minds of our favorite demented and ruthless showrunners, David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. Which is why Theon's walk towards Castration Way felt extra brutal. He managed in his completely destroyed state to somehow get turned on by the ladies throwing themselves at him, giving him a bit of water, only to have it immediately destroyed. Something tells us blue balls are the least of Theon's problems, and it's only going to get worse. Someone who isn't worrying about blue balls is Jon Snow, though. America's favorite bastard and his wilding lady Ygritte seem to have found a wedge in Orell, who is desperately trying to keep the two separate. But Orell's warging ways are no match for Jon Snow's oral abilities. Plus, those two crazy kids are just real cute together: her trying to sound like a lady, and him attempting to amp up his dirty-flirty banter that she loves so much. It's all rather precious. I hope — at least for Ygritte's sake — that Orell doesn't have a for-real-real, serious crush on her though, because that sounds like it could end in disaster for everyone involved. Love, Loss, and What I Wore: The Story of Brienne of Tarth —Poor Brienne. She's done her duty and tried to stay honorable and look where it's gotten her: in a terrible dress, fighting a bear in a pit for a bunch of garbage trolls' enjoyment. Her and Jaime's budding friendship/mutual respect thing is so fascinating because it makes me feel something other than utter disgust for a cocky incest-and-attempted-child murderer knight. Mixed feelings, they are everywhere. But one thing is for certain: Brienne's dress from last week is still here and it is still the worst. It is the Pepto Bismol of dresses. If there is such a thing as dowdy and outdated in the Realm, this is it. Granted, the dress is now completely overshadowed by the bear claw gashes running down her neck, but still: that dress. The worst. But let's all give a big round of applause to Bart the Bear who really gave us casual, terrifying animalistic realness tonight. Just don't clap too loud or else he might come and maul you to death. I bet he's a real sadistic type of bear: he probably lazily paws around with your foot or something after he does it. For the role, Bart! We mean for the role. We love you, Bart. Maternal Instincts —The mommy gene was alive and well for many of the gals, not just pregnant Jeyne. Margaery Tyrell has continued to show not only a deft handle of politics, but also compassion and motherly will. In a relationship that could've quickly dissolved following last week's episode, Margaery stood by Sansa Stark in all her silly little teen girl naïveté. She thought that if she just got what she thought she wanted (coming to the Red Keep, getting betrothed to Joffrey) she'd finally be happy. Oh, girl. Oh honey. This girl has so much learning to do. To which, Margaery remained persistant in her explanations: "women in our position, must make the best of our circumstances," she explained. Plus, Sansa girl: do you know what you're giving up right now? Tyrion may be a dwarf but he's handsome, far and away the nicest Lannister of the bunch, smart, and he loves to please them ladies. Sansa if you keep judging a dude's worth by his purse strings you're going to be majorly unhappy for all of your days. Focus on the good, and what you can do! Be more like Margaery and her wonderfully liberated self. Sure, she might have to still play a typical role, but she's willing to make the most of it. After all, "Sons learn from their mothers — and I plan to teach mine a great deal." But perhaps having the best Mother's Day ever is Head Khaleesi in Charge, Daenerys Targaryen. Marching into her second slave city of the season — Yunkai. Only the rulers of this town are nowhere near as dumb as that a**hat from Astapor (guess that's why they call them the "Wise Masters" over there). Still, he makes an offer that Dany quickly refuses: ships and gold as long as she lets them keep their slaves. But Dany is still on her "free the slaves" tip, and isn't about to back down all that quickly. So what happens when you're an overprotective baby monster and your mother's just been threatened? You lose your gold and possibly a kingdom — so you better be careful. Melisandre even gets in on the game, prepping her newest potential smoke-vagina-monster-giver Gendry (I mean, that has to be what's happening here, right?) for his future greatness. Sharing with him, emoting with him — manipulating him into exactly what she wants. By leading him past the Red Keep on their way back to Stannis', she was simultaneously able to teach him not only of his origins (the bastard of King Robert), but also of the importance of his paternity. He may be a bastard, but he’s also an heir. Sometimes I think absentee dads have a bigger influence on kids than ones that stick around. Also the manipulative abilities Melisandre (and her vagina) terrify me. I don't want wee Gendry involved in any of that! Loose Ends:- Is it just me or is it still really surprising to see a landing strip (and I don't mean for airplanes!) in Westeros? The whole Medieval vibe of the show, coupled with the general unwashed nature of most of the cast always makes me question the pubic hair choices (and abilities!) of the ladies on this show.- Learning about Osha's husband tonight was so sad, but I'm really glad we're getting a bit of character development for someone who while otherwise wonderful, is woefully one dimensional.- Pro-Tip for Wildlings: Comparing a lady to seals and baby pigs is a surefire way to make sure you never get it in. Ever. Take some advice from Jon Snow or  if you want to know how to please a lady.- Implementing a new rule: every time we see a lady's vagina we might as well throw a couple weens in there, too. And so it was decreed as law: henceforth and in perpetuity.- Arya's god is death, she declares: does sound really f**king ominous to anyone else?  What did you think of this week's Game of Thrones? Let us know in the comments. Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More: 'Game of Thrones' Recap: The Climb'Game of Thrones' Recap: Kissed By Fire'Game of Thrones' Recap: And Now His Watch Is Ended From Our Partners:Watch Justin Bieber Attacked in Dubai (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • James Spader Gets Downright Criminal in 'The Blacklist' — TRAILER
    By: Alicia Lutes May 12, 2013
    Robert California he is not, but James Spader's newest role on NBC looks to be one manipulative motherf**ker. How else could a bad guy trapped in a Hannibal Lecter-in-2013 glass box have so much power over the FBI? Well, in this first trailer for new series The Blacklist, we see just how criminal the man can be. The clip, unvieled Sunday, focuses on Spader's Raymond Reddington, one of the FBI's most wanted criminals. Reddington, mysteriously turns himself in without notice or reason, bringing with him the names of every bad guy he's ever worked with. The catch? He'll only work with a brand-new FBI Agent Rosen — a person he seems to have no connection to (at least from the outside). The crime drama comes from the upcoming film the call writer Jon Bokenkamp and Alias' John Eisendrath, who is also set to be the series' showrunner. Check out the clip below. Are you intruiged by The Blacklist? Let us know in the comments. Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes More:NBC Cancels 'The New Normal,' Picks Up 3 New SeriesNBC's 2013-2014 Shows Feature Dermot Mulroney, Sean Hayes, and MoreA Viewers' Guide to 25 New Pilot Orders From Our Partners:Watch Justin Bieber Attacked in Dubai (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • Ryan Murphy's 'American Horror Story: Coven' Casts Angela Bassett, Patti LuPone
    By: Alicia Lutes May 12, 2013
    Now that's how you stack a cast. Ryan Murphy has added Broadway star Patti LuPone and Oscar-nominated actress Angela Bassett to the already impressive roster of killer female talent slated to appear in the third iteration of American Horror Story.  Two legends are joining the cast of American Horror Story: Coven -- Oscar nominee Angela Bassett and Tony winner Patti LuPone! — Ryan Murphy (@MrRPMurphy) May 12, 2013 American Horror Story: Coven (as the third season is dubbed), has already confirmed several new faces to the series, including Gabourey Sidibe and Kathy Bates. And all of these new ladies will be joining returning actors Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Taissa Farmiga, Frances Conroy and Lily Rabe. Sounds like the only-announced male actor thus far, Evan Peters, will be having whatever the opposite of a sausage party is (a pocket party) on that set. Unfortunately for everyone involved, details about characters and plots are being kept under lock-and-key, which means only one thing: time to speculate! Anyone else hope this season willl be a darker twist on the coven of witches from Hocus Pocus? Murphy has already said this season will be a more comedic take on the idea of horror that revolves around Lange. So, the question begs: Will Lange be a fierce queen witch or THE fierce queen witch? One can only hope. Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes More:'American Horror Story: Coven': Frances Conroy Reveals New Location'American Horror Story: Coven' Casts Gabourey Sidibe'American Horror Story: Coven' Scoop — It's All About Jessica Lange From Our Partners:Watch Justin Bieber Attacked in Dubai (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • Coulson Lives! Marvel's 'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D' Teased in 2 New Clips
    By: Alicia Lutes May 12, 2013
    Well that didn't take long: following ABC's announcement that their new series with Marvel Studios Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. was picked up on Friday, two clips arrived on the Internet to at least temporarily satiate the unquenchable thirst of comic book nerds and TV fans everywhere. Following the release of a 7-second video (also below), a larger TV spot showing all the action, perhaps a wee bit of adventure, and the hashtag "#CoulsonLives" premiered during Sunday night's Once Upon a Time season finale. Considering what happened to Coulson in the film, somebody's going to have some explainin' to do. The series stars The Avengers' Clark Gregg, reprising his role as Agent Phil Coulson, and ABC touts the new show as a continuation of last summer's mega-blockbuster film. The tagline promises much of the same, stating "The saga that began with Marvel's The Avengers continues on television." For those of you that can't wait for the series, the following clips will have to do for now: Looking forward to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Let us know in the comments. Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes More:Marvel's 'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.' Coming to ABC This FallWhat if 'Men in Black,' 'S.H.I.E.L.D.', 'Star Trek' Were Real?'Iron Man 3' Has 42 Iron Man Suits? We Design a Few More From Our Partners:Watch Justin Bieber Attacked in Dubai (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • Seth Meyers to Replace Jimmy Fallon on 'Late Night'
    By: Alicia Lutes May 12, 2013
    The newest host to join the late night crowd has been chosen. After months of speculation, Saturday Night Live's Seth Meyers has officially been tapped to replace Jimmy Fallon on Late Night.  The news comes after a flurry of media curiosity followed by weeks of tight-lipped meetings at the network. The deal will see Meyers take over the 12:35 AM slot after Fallon transitions to Jay Leno's desk at The Tonight Show. Meyers has frequently been cited as the favorite to take over since rumors began circulating in March. With SNL executive producer Lorne Michaels also executive producing Late Night, the choice had been widely reported as a lock for the weeks leading up. "We think Seth is one of the brightest, most insightful comedy writers and performers of his generation," said NBC entertainment chairman Bob Greenblatt about the matter. "His years at SNL‘s Weekend Update desk, not to mention being head writer of the show for many seasons, helped him hone a topical brand of comedy that is perfect for the Late Night franchise." As for his opinion on the matter, Meyers was quick to get the jokes started. "I only have to work for Lorne for five more years before I pay him back for the time I totaled his car. ... 12:30 on NBC has long been incredible real estate. I hope I can do it justice." Meyers is in the middle of his 12th season on Saturday Night Live, his eighth as head writer and seventh as anchor of the Weekend Update desk. Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes More:Jimmy Fallon to Replace Jay Leno on 'The Tonight Show'Why Isn't a Woman Being Considered for 'Late Night'?Jimmy Kimmel Reignites the Late Night Wars From Our Partners:Watch Justin Bieber Attacked in Dubai (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • 'Doctor Who' Recap: Let Me Upgrade You (Season 7, Episode 12)
    By: Alicia Lutes May 11, 2013
    We've long waited for a more personal look into the life of the Doctor and his adventures. And oh, did things ever get personal tonight during writer Neil Gaiman's return to Doctor Who, "Nightmare in Silver." The penultimate chapter in series (oops, sorry Americans: season) 7 found our fair Doctor battling one of his oldest enemies: the Cybermen. Seemingly extinct for thousands of years at this point in time and space, the oft-hokey baddie went ahead and upgraded itself for 2013 — causing a turn for the terrifying at Hedgewick's World of Wonders, the now-defunct theme park planet home that once was the most terrific place in time and space. The biggest and the best there ever was: so what happened? The Recap Itself Well: the Cybermen have been reborn and they're hardly the bad guy we remember (that's a good thing). The Doctor arrived at Hedgewick's with Clara, Artie, and Angie (her two wards from the first episode, "The Bells of Saint John") in tow, only to discover that the planet theme park is now closed by Imperial Order from the Emperor of the human race that we later learn to be actor Warwick Davis, a.k.a. Porridge. Davis' work as the Emperor stands alone, to me, as one of the best guest stars the show has seen this season, and his parallels with the Doctor and his scenes with Clara were some of the best moments of emotional expositing we've encountered. From his mourning of the Tiburion Galaxy ("I feel like a monster sometimes. Because instead of mourning a million trillion dead people, I just feel for the bloke who had th push the button.") to the secrets he kept to protect his people, the parallels between the Emperor and the Doctor were great. The Emperor — just like the Doctor — abandoned his home planet to protect the human race. Lonely monsters indeed. We also met the weirdly Willy Wonka-esque Webly, who has his own ship of Wonders burrowed into the ground, complete with wax work (like the phrase "human wax works" was seen on alley signs in "The Crimson Horror"?) statues of some of the most infamous creatures the universe has ever seen. And if that wasn't enough to give you a serious case of the heeby-geebies, surely the next bit would. How about a game, friends? Better yet: how about a game of chess with a Cyberman! Eek. Seems a simple enough task, but sure did turn high stakes rather quickly. Chess seems to be a bit of repetitive storytelling, as it was this very game that he used to manipulate the man that worked for The Silence in "The Wedding of River Song." (Live chess to be exact. Man's name was Gantok.) But yet, the game of chess goes from simple to deadly after a group of Cybermites (one of a seeming unending and constantly evolving set of upgrades the clunky baddies made to become truly terrifying) have attached themselves to the Doctor to be upgraded into the system, and therefore fully integrated to what are — according to a plaque on the wall — "The Great Enemy." But if the enemy is so Great, why didn't they use that crazy-fast-run-walk-speedy-thingy all the time? Certainly to unwit the Doctor, you must outrun him. And nothing is scarier than the thought of someone who could ever outrun the Doctor. Turns out the Cybermen were alive the whole time, merely in wait — but waiting for what? Waiting for children, or a savior of a kind? But if it was just anyone they wanted — why not use Webly or the Emperor or one of the members of the Imperial Guard? Because these Cybermen, I think, were waiting for either the Doctor or his companions. (Because who else can defeat the Doctor but the Doctor himself, eh?) Now it seems, the Doctor is fighting against time at both ends — stuck yet again in the middle of two warring sides. Clara is put in charge of the guard and they head off to the "comical castle," which is just a lovely way for Gaiman to inject a bit of humor into the episode's seemingly perma-zingy dialogue. Gaiman was at his best when characters were communicating with one another. Except of course, when he was at his greatest — which was when he was writing for the Doctor and this Cyber-Planner alterna-Doctor. Here, for me, is where the episode really sung and Gaiman's strengths were most effective: Matt Smith playing two sides of himself. I know I'm prone to a bit of hyperbole here and there (and everywhere), but seriously: Matt's Doctor/Cyber-Planner/Mr. Clever (which, "clever" !!!!) moments were a tightrope act of balance and performance that he pulled off with a level of deft and precision that I thoroughly enjoyed. Honestly, it's such a delight to see the Doctor's wits used against him and Smith pulls it off with a startling intelligence. Playing those different aspects of the Doctor's personality against one another is where Smith's talents as an actor shine the brightest, I think. My Doctor might always been Ten, but Eleven really has won me over this season. His performances are always far more dynamic that many fans give them credit for because it's hard to see just how nuanced they are until all the pieces have been set. When people go back for a second look at this season, they'll like it a lot more than they do now. But let's get back to the story. Hedgewick's World of Wonder was simply a trap designed to capture children to use to make more Cybermen. Children's brains are far more malleable and therefore, easily upgraded. Children are the future, as they say. (Teach them well and let them lead the waaaaay!) Infinite potential, which in turn means they're so much more than just a bunch of spare parts for repairs. Apparently, the next model of Cybermen "will be undefeatable." Undefeatable, likely due to the Doctor's mind. And in his mind we learn so much and yet so little — only what the Doctor wants Mr. Clever here to see. Like the moments of regeneration. Which: Hello! We need to talk about this. The giant explosion between Ten and Eleven is a bit of a game-changer, is it not? Because it gives us an alternate we never thought of: what if something happened between Ten and Eleven. And what was that "thing"? What does it mean? Was there once a missing Doctor there? Is he sealed within the Time War? Is Eleven actually not the Eleventh Doctor, but the Twelfth? The moment didn't give us much, visually. But here's what we saw in that "explosion": It looked like the wisps of regeneration, but with a green light in the right-hand corner. Is that a planet? The one from Ahkaten? Or, is that when Oswin Oswald erased him from history, in turn creating a paradox (where there are two Doctors living two different realities of time (with him and without him)? I wonder if [POTENTIALLY SPOILERY STUFF AHEAD] this weird blip in time is what ties John Hurt's upcoming guest role in the 50th into the storyline. [POTENTIALLY SPOILERY STUFF DONE] All the other Doctor renegerations flowed fluidly from one to the next up until that point: why was it so disruptive when Ten rengerated into Eleven? (Or is this all just because Ten was feelin' bratty and not ready to let go at the end there?) The Doctor used his threat of insta-regeneration to successfully keep Mr. Clever from fully integrating the Doctor's brain into the main Cyber hub. "After me, who knows what'll pop out," the Doctor threatened. There's .223% of the Doctor's brain up for grabs, and whoever controls this controls the whole Doctor. What is that .223%? Is that the mental Clara block? Is there a battle between the two Doctors to control Clara, or is that .223% the "sliver of ice" that Emma Grayling mentioned during "Hide"? Regardless, it's apparently nothing a wee game of chess can't solve. So we all know that the Doctor's been eliminating himself from history (thanks to the help of good ole Oswin Oswald), but did he not consider the fact that doing so could cause one seriously epic paradox? All the good he'd done just, what, vanished without consequence? Please. The repercussions are bound to be insane. Because as Mr. Clever told us: "You know you could be reconstructed by the hole you've left." Like... out of spare parts? ("We didn't have the parts." - a line from one of those clocks from "The Girl in the Fireplace." AGAIN, I know! I'm obsessed.) Perhaps this is why the Doctor's companions are all being chased after: through their eyes and minds the Doctor can be reconstructed and used as a weapon. Still, the Doctor has a golden ticket, and utilized that gold to interfere with the Cyber-interface, giving him slightly greater (albeit temporary) control over the flip and flop between Mr. Clever and himself. And in those moments, the Doctor is able to leverage a side of him we rarely ever see him use: his emotions. Emotions are seen as the enemy, and losing the game of chess was an act of emotion that landed the Doctor in a position of control again (also thanks to Porridge's expertly-timed entrance into the fold with the cybertech-killing hand-thingy). Oh also also Time Lords invented chess. What a bunch of clever folks!  They're not the only clever ones, though: turns out Angie figured out pretty early on that Porridge was in fact the long-missing Emperor of the human race. Upon defeating Mr. Clever and all of the Cybermen, we were transported to a ship that looked a heck of a lot like the place where Rose Tyler and Nine saw the world explode. And here, again, we see the world explode. The Emperor finishes out the episode with a monologue about how people will keep a close eye on him now that he's been found. A post he calls the loneliest in the universe: being the emperor. A job, Clara insisted, didn't have to mean he was lonely. Naturally, the Emperor has fallen a bit for Clara (haven't we all in a way?) and  offers her a proper marriage proposal: Clara, Queen of the Universe! One small hitch: Clara does not want to rule a thousand galaxies. Lucky for the Emperor though, because if he's still looking, it's a title Angie seems quite keen to tackle: "When someone asks you to be Queen of the Universe, you say yes. You watch. One day: I'll be Queen of the Universe." Ooh snap, could Angie be Liz Ten from the early days of Amy and Eleven ("The Beast Below")? I think I'd like that, really. Loose Ends:- Angie got a new phone as a "gift from the TARDIS." Interesting!- "See you next Wednesday." Oh, wait, does Clara only go on adventures with the Doctor on Wednesdays? He says, "Well, A Wednesday," signifying that he never knows when he'll see her next, either. - Upon making a slightly objectifying comment about Clara: "What are you?" the Doctor asks himself. And for once, I don't think he's talking about Clara. Next week's episode is going to be a DOOZY:  Oh my — Clara born to save the Doctor, eh? Well I have long being saying her life was part of something bigger. And hoo boy, do I have some theories for you!  The Nerdy Stuff Holy cats, you guys. OK — now let's talk about the good stuff: fun theory crazy shenanigan time. There's a lot of subversive stuff going on that has continued throughout this season: leaving the TARDIS far away from the center of the action, and there's just so much emphasis on whether or not the Doctor has a plan. For the past few episodes especially, it seems particularly pointed, the way they're constantly mentioning how The Doctor doesn't have a plan (when he usually always does. But as we know, rule one: The Doctor lies.), which in turn causes the humans in the stories to step up and solve the problems du jour. Sure, these companions have all been human thus far, but each one has been mentioned or referenced this season. Every single one: it's as if they're all connected. Which in turn feels, to me, like an attempt on Steven Moffat's part to link the past, classic Doctor Who to its current, new-Who iteration. Allow me to explain what I mean. We already know that experimentation has come up a few times. Again, I feel brought back to "The Girl in the Fireplace," a.k.a. Madame Du Pompadour a.k.a. Reinette. A name which is awfully close to The Rani (Reinette meaning "Little Queen" and The Rani meaning "Queen" as well). We never fully got an explanation as to whom The Rani is/was: could that be Clara? We've seen different aspects of the Rani's time throughout Matt Smith's version of the Doctor in "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship" (the Rani's TARDIS was destroyed by a T-Rex), and even in Clara's two trips to the industrial revolution ("The Snowmen" and "The Crimson Horror"). Plus, the Rani's name was known in old Who as Ushas. And Ushas is a religious diety often spoken of in the plural ("the dawns"), sent to ward off evil. Could Clara be the sum of all parts (the companions), born to save the Doctor thanks to Rose? Ushas was often represented as a reddish cow: Clara's always wearing red and when the TARDIS showed her image in "Hide," she called it a cow. Could also explain why the TARDIS may not like Clara so much. Also seems interesting to note the tie-in/coincidence that River Song's name was Mel/Melody Pond, and the Doctor's companion during the time he fought the Rani was Mel/Melanie Bush (Well, her family name was never revealed on-screen, but production notes refer to her as Melanie Bush). When you look at the two words "pond" and "bush," well: they're both the result of what happens when nature nutures itself (water being a key ingredient to life) And Melody Bush's involvement with the Doctor functioned quite a lot like how Melody Pond's has thus far (intersecting timelines that weren't linear). Could they be the same? And could Clara/The Rani be the same? Could John Hurt's character be the Valeyard? There also feels to be connections to the Meddling Monk from early classic Who. And we all know that monks are NOT cool! Is all of this stuff with Matt Smith just the Doctor's way of rewriting time? And if Bad Wolf/Rose is involved, how does that connect? We know the Doctor's guru from Gallifrey back in his old, old days — in an episode titled "The Time Monster" from classic Who — pointed to a flower on a hill. Gallifrey was a red planet. What are the chances that it could've been a rose on that hill, you think? We've seen roses and red-hued things in every episode since Clara arrived. What if Clara was the sum of all former companions built to be a super-companion by Rose/Bad Wolf in order to help the Doctor (I mean, she did see all that is and was) in his quest to do whatever it is that must ultimately be done in the 50th anniversary episode while simultaneously helping our Lonely Monster to remember who he is, what he does, and all that comes with that? After all, Nine gave up his life for Rose, and Rose always worried that she would lose the Doctor again (hence the intense love and attachment to Ten): sound familiar to Eleven's relationship with Clara, eh? Perhaps Rose took on the energy of the Bad Wolf to mold him a perfect companion (Clara) and help him out when she couldn't be there: the perfect (too perfect?) foil. There's got to be something in here that relates to UNIT, though, as we have seen Clara wearing the UNIT pendant as a necklace before and we know they're coming back for the fiftieth. Maybe Clara will have to die senselessly and far from home as Mr. Clever here mentioned: but not yet. And was anyone else reminded of Alfie Owens and his dad Craig when they saw that one chubby imperial guard who claimed to have heard about the Cybermen since he was in his cradle? Craig Owens (remember him and Sophie?)'s son Stormageddon a.k.a. Alfie (weird/interesting when you think of all the kids names: Alfie, Artie, Angie) may very well be a coincidence, but I'm not 100% sure. The whole "power of three" thing, coupled with the fact that those three kids feel like they could possibly be part of River Song's team of archeologist helpers from "Silence in the Library" makes me think there's a bigger possibility here. The children borne of the Doctor's deeds and doings, taken care of by his wife, River Song, and watched over by their governess and nanny, Clara. Keys to a bigger puzzle. Of course it could just be a coincidence, but still worth nothing, I think. This all feels like a set-up not to reveal the Doctor's actual name, but perhaps another title or destiny that he had that he wanted to change. Certainly a big enough way to change the scope of the series that both honors the past and looks ahead, doesn't it? Perhaps that's the reason for the dissonance fans feel between episodes. The Doctor had to fight all these battles in order to remember how to beat whatever this reconstruction of him is (I'm convinced this has something to do with John Hurt's character in the 50th), which is why he must run — but also, eventually, remember. And this is where I think John Hurt's character comes into play: an amalgamation of all the Doctor's past renegerations through the eyes/souls/minds of his old companions, which is in turn utilized to reconstruct the Doctor into some sort of special being. But who could it be: The Valeyard? The Meddling Monk? The Master? The Celestial Toymaker? Perhap it was all put in motion when the Doctor put all of his past memories and lives into the dying star/Grandfather in the "Rings of Ahkaten"? Perhaps all of that was a trap to give it infinite life thanks to Clara's Most Important Leaf in Human History. When it comes to the part of what's at play here: the idea of the Celestial Toymaker is, personally, most appealing to me. The connection to Blackpool (a town Clara mentions) may hint at this — she was lost in Blackpool before her mother found her as a girl — as it was the place where the Toymaker was banished to by the sixth Doctor: sealed within a forcefield made up of his own thoughts, trapped for seemingly ever. He had used mirrors to create clockwork duplicates to defeat the Doctor, but failed. Which: clocks. (Bespoke engineering? Apparently I'm seriously obsessed with "The Girl in the Fireplace," you guys.) It could also tie in to the Dream Lord because messing with a person's dream sounds like a sort of game and the Celestial Toymaker loved games. Massive undertaking, no doubt, but would anyone really expect anything less of this series? I never understood why people were so against Moffat's run, and perhaps that's because I tend to believe that there's more at play with Moffat's idea for Doctor Who than can be seen until the full breadth of the story is realized. This half of the season feels serialized in a timey-wimey sort of way. It would also explain a lot of the holes fans feel have been popping up throughout Moffat's run. I'm forever-convinced that Moffat's had this storyline in his head for years and years, and has been dropping hints of it in tiny ways since his first few appearances as a writer on this show. Perhaps this is his own way of tying up loose continuity ends while also including the mythical ole Cartmel Masterplan. Or maybe I just have way too much time on my hands, and/or give Moffat a bigger benefit of a doubt than I should. But I'm betting it's not the latter. This episode may polarize fans because the successes and failures of it are squarely pegged in the place where "episodic" and "overarching thematic storyline" meet. Which means it's a struggle between old and new Who in a lot of ways: do you want big, flashy stories or episode-by-episode fun? It feels to me like this is an attempt to give us both, but until everything is revealed to the audience, it won't feel that way. And that's why when Gaiman's strengths were good, they were really good, but the parts that weren't (the fast-walking Cybermen only use that fast-walking bit sometimes even when it is highly effective) felt a bit lazy. Next week's episode of Doctor Who is the finale. We're positively bubbling (OK, maybe more like gurgling) with thoughts and anticipation: the fields of Trenzalore! The fall of the eleventh! Doctor WHO? The return of River Song (Alex Kingston)! Will she be pre- or post- The Library? "The Name of the Doctor" may prove itself to be the most interesting and potentially infuriating episode in Who history, as it will likely be a lead-in to the 50th Anniversary spectacular taking place in November. Check out the prequel for next week's finale, "She Said, He Said," written by showrunner Steven Moffat, below:  Let us know what you thought of "Nightmare in Silver" in the comments! Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More:'Doctor Who' Recap: The Crimson Horror'Doctor Who' Recap: Journey to the Center of the TARDIS 'Doctor Who' Recap: Hide From Our Partners:Watch Justin Bieber Attacked in Dubai (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • 'Hannibal' Recap: A Well-Tailored Personsuit (Season 1, Episode 6)
    By: Alicia Lutes May 10, 2013
    "You cannot host a feast; a feast must present itself." Just as there are two sides to every story, there is often more than one side to every person. And in the case of both, you have to wait for those hidden sides to present themselves of their own violition. And in this side of the story, we see the opposite side of Dr. Hannibal Lecter: the mental methods to his madness. Which, naturally, leads to a nice mental palate cleanser for all of the death, destruction, and cold-blooded murder of weeks passed. Which is why this week's episode of Hannibal was called "Sorbet" — the portion of the meal dedicated to wiping your tastebuds clean of its last encounter. And after the high-stake antics of last week's "Entreé" course, it's nice to see a different side to the who/what/where/when and why of Dr. Lecter. Which is why, naturally, our attention has turned to Lecter's mental state following the realization that he is, in fact, the Chesapeake Ripper. And, that maybe the Chesapeake Ripper fancies himself a bit of plagarizer in the name of saving face. Will's on the case, of course. And the more we learn about Hannibal and his methods, the more we see just how crazy-good Will is at his job — even if he doesn't realize just how on the mark he is yet. He knows the subtleties of Hannibal's murders so well: how they are "consistently theatrical," that he calls them pigs ("Sounders," meaning a small group of pigs, is the word Will uses), and that the Ripper sees others not as people, but prey: pigs who don't deserve the vital organs bestowed upon them at birth. Hannibal, though, cannibalizes his victims as a reward for killing such undignified behavior: in turn elevating them to a life-sustaning resource while simultaneously disgracing and shaming them publicly with their own death. He takes their organs away because, in his mind, they don't deserve them. So, yeah, I guess we can call Hannibal a bit on the dramatic side. Theatrics are the name of the game for Dr. Lecter, and really, a sorbet course is mostly about theatrics, too: it serves a function but is only something that happens during very fancy affairs. So, naturally, we first saw Hannibal at the "Concert for Hunger Relief" (which, haaaaaaaa! Good one, Bryan Fuller.), taking a deep dive into the theatrics of operatic vocal achievement. And is there anything fancier than opera? But it seems that there may be more than one psychopath at the opera: Franklin, Dr. Lecter's first client from the pilot has arrived, and he is freakishly obsessed with becoming friends with Hannibal. They both like cheese! They listen to opera! These two are naturally destined to be gullies for life, right? Not if Hannibal has anything to do with it, I'm betting. Regardless, it's fun to see a foil for Hannibal and his obsession with certain cough cough people, even if that means he's probably going to die. But the Ripper's  tendencies are being co-opted by a similarly-fashioned fella: Devon Silvestri, an EMT and medical student who's killed a man in such a way that, obviously, the tormented Jack (whose nightmares about Miriam are ingratiating themselves into his daily life now) feels it to be a lead. Not too fun to be haunted by one's work, is it, Jack? But still, work is work, and this latest victim had surgical aspects that were both performed and unperformed by the murderer — including the gnarly detail that his sutures were removed with bare hands. But even with creepy details like pieces of the body left like bread crumbs, Will knows that Hannibal's handiwork (oh sorry, the Ripper) is not here, despite the FBI autopsy crew's insistence that 22 signature components were present at the crime scene. But Hannibal's signature component is the act of mutilations are to hide what he's doing — a serial killer disguising his work as that of other killers. Because he's not just one person, in his mind: Devon's murder provided a cloak under which Hannibal could hide: a new suit to don, if you will. But wearing the suit won't change one big difference between the two: Devon was trying to save lives by stealing the organs of others — something the Ripper certainly wouldn't do. Because, as Will puts it, the Ripper is "one of those pitiful things sometimes born in hospitals.  They feed it, keep it warm... but they don't put it on the machines; they let it die. But he doesn't die, he looks normal. Nobody can tell what he is." This murder is too transparent, meaning no theatrics, which also means no Ripper. The Ripper is poking at Jack with a literal arm; he's not being subtle in any other way, so why would he do so now? He wouldn't, but Jack can't see that yet, and Will's not figured out why that fact makes sense in relation to the Ripper (because doing that would be unlocking a big piece to the Ripper/Hannibal puzzle). Gosh, Jack, stop trying to make the Ripper happen — that's so not fetch. But what is totally fetch? Gillian Anderson as Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier, Hannibal's psychiatrist! Welcome back to television, Scully. Hannibal is her patient, and she's not f**king around: she knows he's not really honest, and that she only talks to a "version" of him. But still, Du Maurier clearly doesn't know him well enough because she "respects [the] meticulous construction" of his personsuit (aka the very intricate set of lies Hannibal tries to pass off as his true self — the "human veil" Du Maurier calls it). It's so well-tailored, after all! And who doesn't love a well-tailored get-up, eh? Nothing is more flattering than something tailored well. Hannibal seems to think the two are friends, but she is clear to draw the line: "You are my patient and my colleague, but we're not friends." So, Hannibal is off looking for friends! Or in the very least, companionship or a sense of shared sameness. He tried it out with Alana — who seemed friendly enough with Hannibal, but he's still unsatisfied. Probably because what he really wants is Will, a.k.a. the one that stood him up. Will is not so quick to come over to Hannibal's house and play make believe, so Hannibal tries to make his bromanctical intentions known with a stopover at Will's classroom. The two end up being called in by Jack and Beverly and aid in discovering Silvestri — in turn proving Will's theory that even though they were cut from the same cloth, the Ripper and Silvestri are not one. Sort of like the mirroring of Will and Hannibal, in a way. Because in the end, a well-tailored suit can't take the place of an actual person. Some Other Things of Note: - "We're either looking for someone with short bowels or the Ripper is making sausage." Oh, Brian Zeller, if you only knew. If you only knew.- We saw a brief interaction between Will and Abigail in that dream-like state. He calls her dad. "Dad, there's someone else here." I wonder what it meant.- Hannibal had no reason to humiliate Miriam Lass — he was, as we saw, humiliating Jack. And did it work? "I'd say it worked really well."- Who is Tobias and why does he try to kill Hannibal next week?- And on another note: why is Tobias friends with that worm of a man, Franklin? - Do we think Tobias and Franklin have a fun serial killer club we don't know about yet?- Alana and Will vs. Alana and Hannibal: What's the deal? I'm dying to know her perspective on these two men. When Hannibal asks her "Why didn't we [have an affair]?"- Hannibal "sincerely" hopes that Will is the one to catch the Ripper. Oh I bet! While Jack is grooming Will to catch him, so is Hannibal. - Anybody else impressed by Mads Mikkelsen's knife skills? I say this pretending that he doesn't fake-eat people on TV, but: homebody can cook, yo.  Next week? Two killers collide! Will makes out with Alana! Oh MAN so much stuff coming up. To steal a phrase from Saved By The Bell: I'm so excited, I'm so scared! What did you think of the new episode of Hannibal? Sound off in the comments! Follow Alicia on Twitter @AliciaLutes More:'Hannibal' Recap: Entreé'Hannibal' Recap: Coquilles'Hannibal' Recap: Ceuf From Our Partners:Watch Justin Bieber Attacked in Dubai (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • '24' May Return (With Kiefer Sutherland) to Fox as Limited Series — REPORT
    By: Alicia Lutes May 09, 2013
    Why didn't anyone tell us that Thursday was Kiefer Sutherland News Day? We would've dressed up or something. Following the cancellation of Sutherland's two-season drama Touch, Fox has allegedly set the wheels in motion for a limited return of his other former Fox show, 24. That's right, the acclaimed series — home to the second-best president on television — may just get a few more hours of life to live, a report from Deadline states. The network seems to have a hard time trying to quit dear Kiefs here: but do we really blame them? Now, Sutherland may just be in the early talks of reprising his Emmy-winning role of super-cool, badass, takes-no-s**t Agent Jack Bauer, but there's a chance that this idea has potential. We haven't been shy around here about our staunch supporter of the "sometimes you have to let cancelled shows lie" line of thought, but it's the idea of the show's run being a limited series that makes this a bit more appealing. The idea of shorter, miniseries-styled shows is a welcome one that, so far, has done quite well with audiences looking for high-concept drama that is fully-realized by its end — just look at Fox's sister station FX's success with the three very differet seasons of American Horror Story it has produced. In fact, it's probably a better alternative for the oft-maligned TV movie as it allows for a far greater evolution of story and character without the loss of intricacies that inevitably happens when you have a two hour cinematic time limit suggestion.  A rep for the network could not be reached for comment at the time of publication. Deadline reports that while no deals are in place, the idea to do this came from longtime 24 showrunner and current executive producer of Homeland, Howard Gordon, which is definitely a nice vote of confidence. The idea he pitched would reportedly start a new story arc from scratch. Color us intruiged, Fox. What do you think of the potential for a new, limited-run return of 24? Let us know in the comments. Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes More:Fox Cancels 'Touch' — Sorry Kiefer Sutherland!Jed Bartlet vs. David Palmer: Who's The Best TV President?Kiefer Sutherland Still Keen on A '24' Film From Our Partners:Watch Justin Bieber Attacked in Dubai (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)