Alicia Lutes
Staff Writer Alicia Lutes is a corgi enthusiast from Connecticut living in Los Angeles. She loves Tina Fey, television, ugly things and really money cheese plates. Growing up, her grandfather frequently said, "you’re so god-damned good with words! You should do something with words with your life!" so she made it her quest to plaster her wordy witticisms across the Internet. She looks forward to retiring at the age of 80 and opening a fromagerie with a small army of wrinkly-faced and stumpy-legged dogs.
  • Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /media/www/hollywood/Web/releases/20150325105258/vendor/doctrine/common/lib/Doctrine/Common/Annotations/FileCacheReader.php on line 202 Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /media/www/hollywood/Web/releases/20150325105258/vendor/doctrine/common/lib/Doctrine/Common/Annotations/FileCacheReader.php on line 202 Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /media/www/hollywood/Web/releases/20150325105258/vendor/doctrine/common/lib/Doctrine/Common/Annotations/FileCacheReader.php on line 202 'Game of Thrones' Recap: A Promise is A Promise is A Promise
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 28, 2013
    Weddings, wildlings, and water — oh my! After a walloper of a Game of Thrones last week, Sunday night's episode could've easily fallen by the wayside and disappointed. But luckily this isn't just any TV show, it's an epically-scaled magical fantasy sojourn about power, family, and dragons. And it rules. Allow me to introduce myself — my name is Alicia, and I am a huge nerd for the realm. Old gods, new gods, or no gods. As long as it keeps going as well as season three has gone, I'm game for you, whether you're iron born or dead and can never die. "Kissed by Fire" took a step back from the theatrics and got in heavy with the dramatics. And what's more dramatic than the words of others? Everyone loves to make a promise, but nobody loves to keep a promise unless it gives them an edge. Politics be political, my dudes. Maybe if people in Westeros took their promises as serious as their hot tubs, we'd have a much higher-functioning monarchy on our hands. I mean, seriously though, if this episode was made as an 80s movie, this would be the soundtrack: But let's get down to it, shall we? Boyz in the CaveWe start off the episode in one of the best places to be: by Arya's side. Because no matter what happens — and crazy shit, when it happens on this show? It HAPPENS — she's going to be fine. Arya is just fiiiiiine. We worry so much about her, but she's the one on this show that feels most likely to survive anything. Poor Arya. She is getting the s**t end of every stick. First, The Hound gets set free, then her Baratheon bastard boo has decided to bro out with the Banner Free Boyz. Maybe in a few years when Arya's a teen she'll be gettin' a kiss on the mouth from Gendry, but for now he's really into eyepatches and immortality so he has to go on with the dudes. No wonder the poor gal's all hoo-hum thinking about her dead dad (can't get any sadder for this girl) next to the dude who keeps on living, despite all odds. Not having the best day ever was The Hound: off to be be judged by the one true god, thanks to the Brotherhood Without Banners. Only things didn't go as well as the bloodlusty Ms. Arya Stark seems to have wanted, because this one true g.o.d. is apparently more of a watcher than a doer, so The Hound may have gotten himself a notch on the Beric Death Belt, but he was ultimately released. Ain't no firesword gonna hold him down! No siree. Ain't nobody got time for that! That's just some predated technology for the lightsaber s**t. But Beric sure does have a fun lil party trick on his hand (pun intended, obviously) if he can light s**t on fire with his own blood. Tip for all you folks ready to hop on the Banner-less bandwagon: never hang around a firesword fight in a cave (That's like rule number one), because odds are you're going home at least seriously maimed. Not that a critical injury ever kept Beric down — and with such panache, to boot! Well, Jon Snow Know at Least One Thing...The Wildings and Mance were on their way south to The Wall at the beginning of this episode. But the only thing we really want to talk about is Ygritte gettin' some of that vow-broken Crow wang — not any of that strategy talk. And does she ever! Jon Snow just might be a magical being after that "Oh, I know nothing, do I?" tonguing. I mean, he must be magical because that's the only explanation that would give him some sort of tonguework superpower out the gate. I mean, Ygritte might be a lady in the streets, but she's a wildling in the sheets, y'all. She's seen things. Penis things. But somehow Jon Snow has the ability to turn this seasoned pro into a quivering mess. Which means two things: 1.) most people watching this show are so jealous right now, and 2.) can this show stop glorfying the sexual abilities of male virgins? Podrick was one thing, but Jon Snow knows nothing — how you gonna try and tell me that he suddenly knows a thing or two about goin' down on a lady? Also pretty sure "kissed by fire" isn't a code for redhead, it's a code for "please get yourself checked out at the ye ole STD makeshift tent." And while we're at it, that bath should've definitely happened before the sexy times that weren't nearly sexy enough. Give us naked Jon Snow or give us death, HBO! What are you good for if not for giving us all of the skin? Also, how was that magical hot spring grotto (you takin' notes, Hefner?) packed with people? You are Beyond The Wall up there: warmth is hard to come by (ba-da-ching)! Kingslayer: An Origin StoryJaime and Brienne ended up at the doorstep of Roose Bolton's pad and are also getting in on the naked hot water times. Not sexually, though, guys: these two don't ride that way. But back to this Roose Bolton guy. I'm not sure how to feel about him, but he l-ov-e-d twisting Jaime around on that sister tip. Jaime was taken to Qyburn, that one guy who was the only one found alive at Harrenhal. He was formally a maester now stripped of his license because of his love of radical medical experiments. The interaction of distrust between the two over the Milk of the Poppy was a fun one, eh? Man, that Nikolaj Coster-Waldau has had one hell of a season; somebody get him a nomination when that stuff gets started. Also, at Qyburn's hand Jaime might end up with new missing parts so I'm sure he was more than keen on staying awake rather than pain management. But back to that bath. Unpopular opinion alert: not as great as it could've been. Ugh, I don't know, it started so strong, but I just sort of hated how hokey it drew to an end. For me it felt like a loud ending when it should've been soft. Especially because Jaime spent his time opening up more than just his pores (C'mon! Bad jokes are my thing) in that hot water. The relationship between Brienne and Jaime just continues to develop in complex and interesting ways. I mean, to make Jaime Lannister come across as someone worthy of sympathy and respect? No easy feat, my dudes. And Brienne! Poor Brienne, really rung through the ringer. She's so fierce and fearless, but the horror on her face as she listened to Jaime's take on the true story of how he got his Kingslayer moniker almost made her look as though she was losing her innocence. Turns out Jaime is one parfait of a person, and I am thoroughly confused as to how I should feel about the Lannisters. Brilliant. But yeah, the cutaway felt a bit over the top. It's a Tyrell World, You Just Live in ItEvery week someone new gets to bask in the glory that is Diana Rigg as Olenna Tyrell. Homegirl has no shame and ain't scared of s**t. I mean, literally: she talked about her pooping habits with Tyrion about 13 seconds into their first conversation. If that doesn't show you this woman means the bidness, I don't know what will. She gives none of the f**ks because she's a boss b**ch, y'all. She knows her worth and she knows what she's giving the Lannisters by hopping on board. Which is why she was able to so brilliantly remind Tyrion of all her family has given the castle right before graciously accepting taking on half the cost of the royal wedding and insulting him for not being who she hoped he'd be. She's not the Queen of Thorns for nothin', y'all. Robb's Feelin' PunchyThe young Lannister squires held captive at Riverrun went and got murdered. It was a really crazy scene that was masterfully played: you really felt how scared and unsettled it was to be in it, from the kid's point of view. But seriously: what was up with Robb Stark tonight, huh? Is someone feeling slightly emasculated? Whatever the case, homeboy wants to make sure everyone knows he's the king, and that means he's in charge. Why else would he change his tune of rational thinking just to behead Karstark? Robb, feeling fiesty and kingly in his power decides that all the henchmen involved in the murder of the Lannister boys get the noose as well. One whiny little brat gets all "Oh, but I just watched!" and Robb's all "This one is the watcher... hang him last so he can watch the others die." Drop the mic, walk out the room: damn son, you tell 'em how to run that Realm! Too bad it looks like he totally f**ked himself over with that move in the end. Hello big Frey showdown on the horizon. Stannis Baratheon, Tea Party King?Feeling like he's betrayed is wife, Stannis takes a trip to visit the locked-up-in-a-cell wife and daughter. (It's so totally weird that he would think they feel betrayed, right? When he's kept them in such posh, befitting-of-a-royal-family digs!) Not that she seems to mind, it seems. Yep, Stannis' wife is a stone cold fanatical weirdo that's totally OK with her husband having smoke babies with Melisandre. Excuuuuuse me with your unborn babies in canister bulls**t right now, Selyse Florent?! Seriously? These two. These f**king two, am I right? They're downright terrifying with their fanatical misinterpretation of religion. And while we're at it, way to enforce that "gingers have no souls so they feed on the souls of others" stereotype, Melisandre. The only takeaway I have from all of this is if you want to start a fanatical cult, Stannis' family should be stop number one on your tour of potential converts. Their daughter seems like a sweet little thing, though lord knows how that's possible with those two cuckaroos they call her parents. Shireen has remnants of her battle with the greyscale on her face, which looks more brown and tree bark-esque than I imagined it would be. Her desire to teach our fair Onion Knight how to read is precious. I like you, girl, but I worry about you and not because of your face. Khaleesi's Got GameGood LORD I love me some Daenerys. After last week's truly outrageous (might as well call her Jem) — in the BEST way — episode, it was a bummer to see so little of her this go-around. You're giving us blue dragon balls, HBO! The moment she had tonight was worth it, though: her continued compassion for the Unsullied (and all slaves/innocents, really) soldiers is good stuff and continues to push her narrative towards what I am hopeful is a dragon-filled long game. I mean, Beyoncé has a poster of his b**ch on her wall — that's how serious this is. Oh and blah blah, Ser Jorah and Barristan Selmy had a nice little talk there, too. Loras Gets SomeLittlefinger got a favor asked of him because Cersei is on the warpath against the Tyrells, so he used a lil fella named Oliver to get close. The two have a knightly romp betwixt the sheets pretty quickly thereafter. There was one very naked man... and Loras clothed in the nudity clause held within his contract. Loras doesn't seem to be too concerned about modesty in any other instance of his life, so I'm not sure why he's being so tame now behind closed doors. But while his pants might not be loose, his lips sure were: he was pretty quick to point out that his wife-to-be (Sansa) doesn't even know he likes dudes. What Loras doesn't realize is that she's literally the only one. But with the beans spilled, the stage is set for... Big Daddy and His IssuesMan, that Tywin Lannister is one motherf**ker of a father, eh? What a ruthless, power-hungry manipumonster. No wonder these Lannisters are so messed up (excluding you, of course, Tyrion, because you're perfect but I'm also convinced you're not a Lannister because I don't want you to be). And his obsession for power and control certainly isn't for his family (as evidenced by, oh, every single action he's ever taken) since he clearly hates his children. I guess that fancy lion on the family crest and its legacy are far more important than everything else in the world. So in order to beat the Tyrells at their own game, Tywin decided that Tyrion should marry Sansa and have it announced before Joffrey's wedding. All smug and chuffed, Cersei looks on at Tyrion, so happy to have orchestrated his good news. But shocker of all shockers, something Cersei pushed for ended up biting her in the ass. In one of the most perfect TWIST! moments, Tywin casually mentions that Cersei will also get tossed aside — as scraps for Loras. Because nothing says "let's try and convince everyone you aren't f**king your brother" by marrying you off to the gayest man within the walls of the Red Keep. She went from ain't-havin'-none-of-this-s**t to are-you-serious-right-now in nanoseconds. It was AWESOME. So...we've got some weddings on the horizon, eh? Next week's looking pretty serious, too — the episode is titled "The Climb" and something tells me Miley Cyrus won't be in the soundtrack. What did you think of this week's Game of Thrones? Let us know in the comments. Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More: 'Game of Thrones' Recap: And Now His Watch Is Ended'Game of Thrones' Recap: Walk of Punishment'Game of Thrones' Recap: Dark Wings, Dark Words From Our Partners:Miley Goes Braless for Magazine Cover (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • 'Doctor Who' Recap: Heart Full of TARDIS
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 27, 2013
    Oh, so that's who. Ever find yourself traveling through time and space with someone you totally dig but had literally zero idea about who or what they are? Who doesn't. And for the current iteration of our fair Doctor — someone who never really knows why, just who — we're still trying to find out exactly that. So, Doctor, who is Clara Oswald? We're well into Series 7 of Doctor Who now, no doubt building up to what is sure to be an epic finale and even more epic 50th anniversary special, and Saturday night's episode "Journey to the Center of the TARDIS" found Clara and Eleven in full-out, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey mode. Starting today I (Alicia Lutes) will be your companion for all things Who. I like bowties (they're cool), blue boxes (always seem so much bigger on the inside, don't they?), and hashing out Who theories. But enough about me: let's talk about Eleven, Clara and the fantastical adventure Steve Thompson wrote us, shall we? We found Clara and the Doctor bickering on (as they seem to always do so well) about what else: the TARDIS. Seems that our favorite blue box's issue with Clara is now a plot point — as evidenced by her curious behavior throughout the back end of this season. Something about Clara is off enough that we know ol' Sexy doesn't seem to totally appreciate (reminds me of the time when the TARDIS tried to shake Jack Harkness off) her. Regardless, the Doctor seems determined to make his two favorite ladies get along, come hell or high water. ...Or even a magno-grab! The episode begins in one of those too-obvious-to-have-been-an-accident sort of ways that has most Whovians playing inspector from minute one. Let's make Clara and the TARDIS get together, let's turn off all its defenses, let's park ourselves right next to a scrap metal ship, and — oh look! — looks like someone went and got themselves sucked right into the trash truck. Clara is lost within the depths of the TARDIS, and the Doctor needs to get her out and also save the TARDIS from her exploding heart.  The Van Baalen brothers and their android companion Tricky (interesting name, eh?) are constantly on the look out for garbage that could glean them a fat stack or two. How very "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship!" Not a bad thing, of course, but the brothers Van Baalen felt a bit too much like plot tools for bigger parallels and discussion going on within the show rather than fully-idealized characters. But the episode wasn't all style without substance. Perhaps even creeper than last week's "Hide" was the revelation that Clara, the Doctor, and the brothers Van Baalen were being chased by monsters that weren't just creepy time zombies ("Good guys do not have zombie creatures, rule one basic storytelling!") living on the TARDIS, but actually future, dead versions of themselves attempting to reassert future events. Highly unnerving, if a bit easy to predict. Regardless, the idea was a great visual representation for not only their relationship, but also the confrontations that happened later. Namely two: 1.) between Gregor and Tricky, who we come to find out is actually just a human and 2.) between the Doctor and Clara when they're in the heart of the TARDIS. Tricky, upon closer inspection, is quite an interesting character device. Gregor and Bram "created" him for a few reasons: mostly, because they were bored, but also because he was the smart one (the boys' father originally wanted to leave the business to him), and it was a way for them to have "a bit of fun" with the accident that took away Tricky's memories, voice, and eyesight. Which is interesting because throughout the entire episode you're constantly reminded of how much more human he is than the humans, given his ability to empathize and feel for others. He's constantly the one parlaying how the TARDIS feels. "You're always on the side of the machines!" his brother yells, but he's just the most emotional one — so he is able to connect far beyond the reaches of skin and bone. One of the ultimate highlights of this episode for longtime Who fans was the did-not-disappoint sojourn into the TARDIS' inndards. The swimming pool, the TARDIS library (!!! We'll get back to that particular place and time in a bit), the swimming pool, the Eye of Harmony, and even the heart of the TARDIS herself: all there, all wonderfully realized. Other rooms we saw raised more questions, though: what was that massive telescope room (is that the one from "Tooth and Claw" with the werewolf that Ten and Rose dealt with)? And what was that weird workroom where we saw the Doctor's baby bassinet and Amy Pond's old toy TARDIS, eh? A memory room, perhaps? a laboratory? Storage? There were boxes, magnifying glasses and a whole manner of things we couldn't manage to see in time. Even another damn umbrella (is Clara actually Mary Poppins or a mom or Gallifreyan-era wife?)!  I do love the TARDIS getting such a pivotal role this season, though. A sentient being, really. To prevent the looting Bram and Gregor are hellbent on doing, the TARDIS keeps shifting and manipulating its own architecture — changing rooms and creating new corridors (is that the excuse for all the lame hallway shots?) to trap the Van Baalens and any parts they attempted to loot. The TADRIS is infinite you guys. Just like those kids from Pittsburgh in that book about wallflowers.  Speaking of books: let's go back to the library. (No, not THAT Library, although I am always a fan of talking about that Library, too). We saw a teeny, tiny, insignificant little work being casually leafed through by Clara: The History of the Time War. Oh, really? So, Clara knows the Doctor's real name. Not that it matters since the episode ends with some real deus ex machina bulls**t at the outset. Sure, it's implied that she'll probably remember in the future (after running around some more with her clever boy, no doubt) thanks to the brothers remembering to be nicer to Tricky (per the Doctor's suggestion), but still. The whole "telling a story that is later erased by time being rewritten" thing isn't new, but it sure is frustrating sometimes. And time does get rewritten in the end, when the Doctor throws the magno-grab activator back to himself through a tear in the fabric of time to the moment before the TARDIS exploded. The Big Friendly Button (or wait, is that Clara? Dun dun DUN!) has finally arrived, so that means the engine never exploded and nothing bad happened. As far as we saw, this loop of events happened twice: the first time he just threw the magno-grab control through the crack, but Clara caught it rather than the Doctor, so he had to go through the crack himself the second time to make sure there was no secret as to what it was for.   "Secrets protect us. Secrets keep us safe," is a motto the Doctor has always believed. But there's one secret he really doesn't seem to like: Clara. In the engine room we finally see the heart of the TARDIS and also the big confrontation between the Doctor and Clara. "So just tell me ... Just tell me who you are. ... I look at you every single day and I don't understand a thing about you. Why do I keep running into you?" He tells her about the other Claras. "What are you, eh? A trick? A trap?" Clara didn't understand. "I think I'm scared of you right now more than anything on that TARDIS." And then suddenly, it seems as though the Doctor understands something we really, really don't yet. The duo hug and are seemingly taken aback as evidenced by the fact that they simultaneously looked up at each other. But then something in The Doctor's eyes changed — as if a lightbulb went off and that sudden realization looked way deeper than that of "you're just Clara." No time for explanations though, because the TARDIS is "snarling" at them, attempting to scare the Doctor away in order to protect them. Geronimo! With a leap, Clara and the Doctor enter the heart of the TARDIS and discover that the engine has exploded, but she's temporarily frozen the burst. He doesn't know what to do, but with a simple hand-grab, Clara has the answer: the burn mark has finally stopped changing and her fragile human skin (like parchment!) has exposed the plan to the Doctor. And how does he solve it? "I need to find ... music!" Every episode has had music going on at its crux: the singing in Ahkaten, "Hungry Like the Wolf" on the submarine — there's so much that is accomplished by song (a River Song, perhaps?! Sorry, too easy. Feel free to groan). The Doctor uses the song in order to lock his sonic screwdriver onto their previous location in space and time in order to send the Big Friendly Button back through the rift. But Clara doesn't want to forget: not everything (certainly not his name). Tough titties for Clara, though, as the Doctor seems hellbent on imposing some time/space amnesia parlour tricks. "Time mends us, it can mend everything." Current showrunner Steven Moffat has always told us about the Doctor through the stories of others. It's part of his Who tenure signature; and my theory is that it's all about the redemption of the Doctor. Because when it comes to his role in Time Lord history, I think the Doctor’s way more important than we know. What if the "sliver of ice" inside of him (as mentioned by Emma Grayling in last week's "Hide,") has something to do with it? Explains the need for a human companion, certainly. But personally, I imagine that something larger is at play here. Perhaps that sliver is a part of Omega (I mean, he Does seem to come back every 10 years, yeah?), since Time Lords were made via loom after the Pythia's Curse (Google is your friend, non-nerds). And Omega was from the House Lungbarrow — same as the Doctor! This would also make them cousins, I believe. Either way, in the past the Doctor has confirmedthat he was made via the loom. And when that happens, you're born as a full-grown adult that's very child-like. I'd like to note that Matt Smith's Doctor has always been called "child-like" and Clara is a nanny (and always has been throughout her many iterations). Ice also relates back to the Great Intelligence, though, so who knows. But I don't think the Doctor's future is necessarily in the right order. I think the Doctor is being played young because even though he's existed for somewhere between 900 - 1200 years (depending on the episode), his regenerations aren't necessarily getting older, but rather hopping around within his own history. Because "generate" means to cause or produce something, but to "regenerate" means to regrow, replace, or be re-born. To me, the story feels like it has something to do with the fact that the Doctor is (I bet) someone far more important to the history/world of the Time Lords and its origins than may have been previously detailed. And, I think it wasn't necessarily good, which is why he is now known as the Doctor, aka someone who fixes things that are bad. It also makes me think of Little Red Riding Hood. (Stay with me, I swear this makes sense.) My roommate brought it up last week as a half-joke when I remarked about how Clara is ALWAYS wearing the color red, or something with red on it/in it. Red actually seems to be quite the repesentational color for all of the companions: Rose (no explanation there), Donna Noble and Amy Pond's red hair, Martha Jones' red leather jacket, and now all of Clara's red stuff (her red purse; this episode's red dress). Is the Doctor (or some other entity like the Great Intelligence, the Silence, or the upcoming big baddies the Whisper Men?) the Big Bad Wolf (Ahhh Bad Wolf!)? Because ultimately, Doctor Who is about the companion as the person the story is happening to (just like Red), but it also really is meant to be a tale about how an innocent victim can be taken and controlled by a criminal mentality (Red is literally eaten by the Bad Wolf) when the victim is removed from its safe space (home). Isolation is key there. And we all know that the Doctor is a very, very lonely man. It's his loneliness that Moffat focuses on the most (from his very first episode, "The Empty Child," until now). And when you remove something or some one from that space where they're more visible, the criminal entity has an easier time trying to gain control. And in the Brothers Grimm version of the story, Little Red Riding Hood is also all about how dangerous it is to not obey one's mother. ("Are you my mummy?") You guys! I think whatever entity ends up being the ultimate string-puller is trying to isolate and manipulate the Doctor in order to change history. I think it's Omega (in the past), and the only reason he's even able to try and control the Doctor/humanity is because the Doctor has a tiny sliver of Omega inside of him, from the loom (which would tie into the resue from last week's "Hide"). But going back to Little Red Riding Hood, if it weren't for the lumberjack, Red would've been wolfmeat. So: who is that lumberjack? Is it River Song? The companions themselves? Someone else entirely? The Doctor himself? Run you clever boy, and remember! If it were me writing this show, Clara would somehow be CAL (from The Library: haven't figured out how yet but it must involve that damn red leaf), River Song would be the woman in the shop who gave her the number of the TARDIS, and it all goes back to The Library. The Library is how River Song was not only saved, but also — I think — able to help save the Doctor. There's a reason she was there, and I don't think leading that archeology trip was the full answer. If we all know the Doctor lies in order to protect, why can't River? Next week: The Crimson Horror. Ahh, there's that red again! Other Things We MUST Discuss: - The key to the TARDIS — it says Smiths! Tell me River Song had that key made.- That big scratch! What in the ever-loving hell was that?- Lancashire Saxon - the Doctor says it into the intelligent sensor which then identifies Clara's time zombie as her: what does that mean? (Also/sidenote: the official flower of Lancashire? The Red Rose of Lancashire. RED ROSE!!!)- The Bells of Saint John are ringing again, my friend. Why is that?- Why, if everyone else has a dead future time zombie, does The Doctor not? How is it that he always manages to live when so many others around him die?- THE VOICES! Man, great atmospheric stuff in this episode tonight, huh? Not even just the music, but the voices. First in the library, and then again when Bram is at the console. We hear Amy Pond, we hear Clara, we hear lots of old familiar companions and Doctors. Why is that?- And also: we heard all those old voices of Gallifrey (Loved the line "Dreadful hats but smart!"). The drippy (reminded me of the crystal ball room in Harry Potter) Encyclopedia Gallifrey. Does it drip onto Clara? Part of it escapes and turns into weird airy stuff. What was that about? - It seems to me that the future continually trying to reassert itself is a theme we'll see more of later on. Do you agree?- In the original image of the Van Baalen brothers, Tricky was torn out of the photo, but at the end of the episode, he was not. This leads me to believe that when we see the Doctor and Clara at the end, the TARDIS explosion involved is different than the one they fixed — and also might've been the one that destroyed Tricky's voice, eyes, and memory.- Why is the Doctor so obsessed with how Clara FEELS? It's always about her feelings rather than say, her thoughts. Feels worth noting.- I've been saying for ages (to the two or three friends that don't groan and run in terror any time Doctor Who is mentioned in my general vicinity), but I think Moffat's been playing the long game on this story for far longer than anyone realizes. The episodes for the second half of season seven have been frustrating for many viewers. They're standalones, but also all have tiny parts to play in a much larger story. They're also so totally and completely out of order (Moffat really does love to do that, eh?), which I think makes many viewers go quite bonkers. What did you think of tonight's Doctor Who? Sound off in the comments. Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More:'Doctor Who' Recap: Hide'Doctor Who' Recap: Cold War'Doctor Who' Recap: The Rings of Ahkaten From Our Partners15 Nude Photo Scandals (vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • 'Hannibal' Recap: Everything Is a Cancer
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 25, 2013
    What happens when you're a hyper-intelligent murderperson looking for an easily malleable friend/potential fellow murderperson and he just so happens to be under the thumb of someone else? Break them up, of course! And it seems like that's exactly what Dr. Hannibal Lecter is trying to do with our dear Will Graham, being pushed and pulled dangerously close to the edge by Agent Jack Crawford. On Thursday night's episode of Hannibal, attempting to awaken the beast within, Hannibal tried to become the cancer that eats away at Will's control. Cancer and its machinations played heavily into the stories of all our characters tonight. Diagnosis sends them all into tailspins: Is it a dream? Can it be cured? And if we pretend it doesn't exist, will it just go away? Or is cancer (metaphorical or otherwise) just the ultimate end to us all, and we just simply choose when to accept it? The episode that was originally intended to air today was pulled due to its content, but you can find anything pertinent you need to know about it here — and its character development between Abigail, Will, and Hannibal are to prove vital to the series later on. But for now, we have "Coquilles": another word with French origins (meaning "shell") that is also a dish typically made with scallops, served in its shell. And shells, as we all know, protect the scallop within (the meat of the animal). Will has a shell around him and Hannibal is hell-bent on cracking it open and ripping it off. In time. Following the events of "Ceuf" (which... I think they meant oeuf; French for "egg") Will begins sleepwalking. Hannibal believes this is a sign of PTSD wielded by the relentless iron first of Jack Crawford. Throughout Hannibal and Will's interactions, Jack is constantly positioned as the aggressor and impetus for Will's own mental unraveling. But while Will clearly knows all this murder business is no good for him, he's also not an idiot and recognizes that Hannibal is trying to alienate him from Jack. Jack, meanwhile, has a mess of things going on in his life: there's a new killer on the loose (we'll get to him later), he's aware of Will's apprehension about continuing this line of work, and his wife Phyllis (whom he calls Bella) is acting strange. But Jack's story almost builds him up to be the hero starring in a Greek tragedy — his fatal flaw (cue Tina Fey in Mean Girls: "I'm a pusher, Cady. I push people!") is what is causing all the stress in his life. Pressure to keep solving all these crimes weighs largely on him (even though we don't see it on screen) and Will is the key to his success, delicate mental state de damned! It's what has gotten him this far in his career, but also what pushes people away. Bella has cancer. And she's known for twelve weeks. But she won't tell Jack as she is currently in the resentment stage of their relationship. Because Jack has too much to worry about to worry about her. Or so she tells Hannibal. After one of the creepier dinner scenes on the show wherein Dr. Lecter actually SMELLS HER CANCER ON HER, Bella becomes a patient of his in order to work through her own feelings about having stage four lung cancer. Which seem to be pretty morbid, but dance so well against Hannibal's own thoughts about human life. "I have indignity to look forward to, don’t I?" Bella asks Hannibal, which, ha, right? Something tells me that if Bella didn't have cancer, she would've ended up on Hannibal's table in his next iteration of the "foie gras" dish he served the Crawfords at dinner that she wouldn't eat. Too cruel a meal, she says (oh and if she only KNEW), even with the "ethical butcher" Hannibal employs. He doesn't believe in animal cruelty, but no one said anything about cruelty towards humanity, right? The word "cruel" is brought up again in Bella and Hannibal's therapy session, where Hannibal notes her anger towards her husband. "You seem more betrayed by Jack than your own body," he states. That's because humans have the capacity for cruelty, whereas "cancer isn’t cruel." No, cancer is just "a tiny cell wanders off … it's just trying to do its job," but that job only makes things worse. In a lot of ways, this is exactly what Jack is doing — a liver cell (interesting that it's a liver cell, eh?!), just trying to do his job without realizing he's slowly killing other people in the process. Cancer continues its thread through the episode in the madness of this week's serial killer, Elliot. Poor Elliot. I mean, sure, he's a total murderperson, but he also has a brain tumor, which is both slowly killing him and also driving him insane. In a move pulled straight out of Dexter, though, he murders only those that he sees are bad — a serial rapist here, a criminal security guard there — through his firehead visions. He sees their madness, and in his madness we see Will. Oh empathy, you really are a form of madness, aren't you? Seriously, though. Throughout the episode Will's mental stability is called into question. Hannibal wonders if Will's sleepwalking means he's lost control. He wonders aloud if Will is having a hard time dealing with aggressive feelings. Will wonders if he's even awake, if his brain is a trustworthy companion. I wager that Will is starting to have some weird feelings about who Hannibal really is (why else would he be so bold and turn Hannibal's question around on him to ask about his own mother in "Ceuf"?), but he can't tell if the madness is within him or all around him. Probably because Dr. Lecter's personality seems wildly duplicitous — I mean he really does have two sides to him. Madness shared by two! It all comes together, folks. But madness has many forms, and according to the FBI on the scene, "madness slept here last night." The continued parallels between Will and the killers he captures is a fascinating one. It would be easy to grow tired of it, but so far, showrunner Bryan Fuller has towed the line well. And in Elliot, we see more of Will than ever before: he has a serious case of the flop sweats, indigestion (of the righteous variety, natch), can't sleep. Which is why he makes these bad people into angels! To watch over him while he sleeps: they're his guardians. They pray over him when he sleeps, but his actions also prey on him while he sleeps — yet another parallel to Will and how his own thoughts and feelings about those thoughts prey on his mind when he sleeps. Fuller wants to you see ALL of the parallels guys — are you gettin' 'em? But Elliot's madness seems to be a byproduct of the brain tumor that's killing him. It's an anomaly in his head, changing the way he thinks (gee golly gosh could that apply to a few people here on this show?). The rest of the FBI crew think Elliot is playing God, but Will knows that's not the case. "This is not who you are," Will states during his empathetic trip into Elliot's mind at the scene of the crime. "This is my gift to you. I allow you to become angels. And now, I lay me down to sleep." He's turning these bad people into something "good," angels, and in turn absolving them of their own madness in order to help the madness of others. Elliot's ex-wife comes in for questioning and reveals that our troubled murderperson had a near-death experience as a child that he, by all accounts, shouldn't have survived. A fireman on the scene said he must've had a guardian angel on his side. But now, near death, Elliot is frantically searching for his guardian angel to save him from his own brain. He needs an angel to pray for him because he’s afraid of what he sees. So it seems like maybe there is a God Complex at play here, eh? Despite Elliot's wife's assertions that he wasn't religious (and really, do you have to be to think you're God?). But in her words, two things are realized: 1.) The farm where Elliot grew up is where they will find him strung up like an angel himself, and 2.) Jack realizes his wife has cancer. Either way — rough stuff all around. Will and Jack head up to the farm and see Elliot's final act: to become an angel himself and have control over his own death rather than a tiny anomaly in his brain controlling him. And it is interesting that at this moment Will finally attempts to assert control over his own life, as well. "It’s getting harder and harder to look … and you know what looking at this does," Will nervously asserts. But Jack keeps pushing him (he really is a pusher, that one), and not even flat-out declaring "this is bad for me" seems to change Jack's mind. He leaves Will alone in the crime scene. Which, of course, immediately leads to Will's overactive imagination to go into overdrive. The Angelized Elliot appears by Will's side and says, "I see what you are … inside. I can bring it out of you ... I can give you the majesty of your becoming." "Not all the way out," Will says. It might be there, brewing just below the surface, but that doesn't mean Will is ready to act on it. It's hard enough for will to be strong now, I can only imagine how much more these feelings will bubble, bubble, toil and trouble away while we watch our poor hero struggle through the season. It's a potent potion he's got on the stove there, eh? Hannibal can tell something is brewing within Will, too — only this creepy motherf**ker can smell it on him. (Seriously, Mads, you're killing me with creepy on this show. I hate slash love it.) But that quick whiff sets off alarm bells for Will once he realizes its happening. He calls him out, but Hannibal asks about headaches, and insinuates they might have a simple remedy: "change the aftershave," Hannibal suggests. His musk...his mask...his own SHELL, perhaps? And it all comes full circle. OK, I think we're sufficiently awake now. You? Other Things to Note... - That moment when Will touches the stag statue in Hannibal's office was a wonderful way to show how Will's sleeping mind is actually trying to talk to him about what he sees when he's awake: "my brain is playing tricks on me." So awesome. He's slowly starting to wake up from the trance that Hannibal seems to have him under, though I think we still have a bit of time before that big unveiling.- Anyone else wonder about what's going on in Will's brain after Hannibal used his creepily accurate sense of smell on Will and asking if his headaches have gotten worse? - Beverly quotes The Doors' Jim Morrison and tries to relate him to Elliot by saying "even a drunk with a flare for the dramatic can believe himself to be God." Which: red wine + God complex + (Human) = Hannibal.- Also speaking of Beverly, homegirl either has a crush or is worried for Will. She recognizes he's "a little different" and that "it's a good strategy," but it doesn't work on her. Do we think he'll actually ever open up to her?- Sleeping in a sleeping back to stop sleepwalking is a real thing! Just ask Mike Birbiglia; he's made a career off the fact that he has to do just that because of his severe sleepwalking disorder.- We got a mention of next week's killer, The Chesapeake Ripper. I, for one am SO amped for Eddie Izzard to be on this show. And let me tell you: Fuller and Izzard need to work together way more often. What did you think of this week's episode of Hannibal? take a stab at it in the comments. Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More:'Hannibal': Everything Important from Pulled Episode 'Ceuf' 'Hannibal' Recap: Folie À Deux 'Hannibal' Recap: A Broken Pony and The Fungus Among Us  From Our Partners50 Worst Celeb Mugshot Fails (vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • May Mag Madness: Your Monthly Magazines Get Covered — GALLERY
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 25, 2013
    Everyone wants to be taken really seriously. Everybody wants to show new depths — and what better way to do that than to snag a magazine cover shoot? If you're a celebrity, this is the only way.  This month has flowers on the horizon after April's showers have passed, and the aformentioned flora has begun popping up (metaphorically, of course) on the covers of fashion magazines all month. Spring is here: all fresh, new, wild, and exciting. Which means, time to get a new perspective on our favorite stars, stories, and styles. So click on through to see May 2013's most choice magazine cuts — because Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Carey Mulligan, Emma Watson, Kirsten Dunst (especially her) and more really need the extra attention. GALLERY: Your Monthly Mags... Covered: May 2013 Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More:April 2013: Monthly Magazine Madness 10 Stars Shameless Shilling Products Who Is That? 7 Amazing Star Transformations   From Our Partners:Eva Longoria Bikinis on Spring Break (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • 'Hannibal' Everything You Need to Know from Unaired Episode 'Ceuf' — VIDEO
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 24, 2013
    The show about a homicidal cannibal has cannibalized itself. Following the tragic events our nation has faced over the past few months, Hannibal showrunner Bryan Fuller decided that maybe showing an episode involving children murdering other children might be received less-than-warmly. But being that Fuller is the wonderful fan-centric showrunner that he is, turned his reluctant decision (Hannibal was shot last summer) into something still easily digestible for fans of the Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham/Abigail Hobbs saga: a 6-part webisode! Because NBC knows that fanatics need things: namely anything, but especially if that thing helps them to better understand and connect with the characters and story. Even with large parts of the show left on the cutting room floor, the remaining scraps piece together a lot of the pertinent information and character-building moments "Ceuf" would have featured if it aired untouched on TV. And let me tell you, guys: this episode is all about negatives and positives. Namely, the way that Abigail waffles between the negative influences in her life (Hannibal), and the positive (Dr. Bloom, Will). If you weren't sure whether or not Abigail was going to be the entity that ultimately tears our bromantical duo apart, you will be after this episode. Abigail Hobbs is not going anywhere anytime soon. Fuller even mentions it in his intro of the mini-webisodes, explaining that "as the series goes on, this relationship gets much more complicated and becomes a load-bearing element of our storytelling." Considering the man feeds psilocybin mushrooms to Abigail in order for her to have a "spiritual" connection with him during their therapy session (after he feeds her more human parts, natch), complicated is putting it way lightly. So without further ado, here's what you need to know (and make sure to check out the webisodes in full, below): Abigail Hobbs - In "Ceuf," we see Abigail frustrated by other the patients. They talk so much about what's happened to them, without actually saying anything of substance. "Victims can sometimes broadcast victimhood involuntarily," Dr. Bloom asserts. "Not me," explains Abigail... but we all know that's not true. She thinks highly of her intelligence and capacity for deception — almost as much as Dr. Lecter. - There's mention of support groups "sucking the life" out of Abigail. Right about now would be a good time to remember that Will once asked Hannibal if their meetings were therapy sessions or a support group. (Because MURDER!) - Dr. Bloom is, yet again, the only solace of rationality in these situations. She believes isolation will drive Abigail mad, and that Hannibal needs to back off. But at the same time, Dr. Bloom is inadvertently pushing Abigail right into Hannibal's lurking arms. "You have to find someone to relate to in this experience," she says to Abigail. - Hannibal tells Will that Abigail "has already exhibited an aptitude for the psychological," which is totally code for "she's a budding murderperson just like you — and just like me, minus the budding part because I'm basically a God." We're onto you, Dr. Lecter! - In fact, Abigail feels like the personification of folie à deux: a madness shared by our two leading men. And those parallels between Will and Hannibal are everywhere with Abigail, including... - The fishing lure, and — oh man! A visual representation of Abigail if ever I've seen one, amirite guys? The lure starts out as a creation of Will's (a gift he decided upon when he was feeling emotional and impulsive): something he's slowly crafting to be the perfect entity to catch the fish lurking just below the surface. This is his design, after all. But of course, here comes Hannibal: popping in on his own, adding a few more feathers, tying it up, and finishing it off. While we don't know what his intentions are, something is clearly off: is Abigail the lure to bring the copycat out from whence he hides, or is she Will's plaything that he's hoping will help him figure out Hannibal? Or, is she merely another stray he's hoping to lure into his own family of misfit toys? - Hannibal did leave his literal mark on the lure, though: he pricked his own finger, drawing out blood, with the tip. Always f**king with people and things our Hannibal is, eh? - Dr. Bloom fears that Abigail will remove herself, socially. And while isolation is certainly Will's technique (though he does have Dr. Bloom and his dogs), we all know that is not Hannibal's way of doing things. Hannibal is a creature reaching out for human connection — likely because he can't physically feel those sort of connections or understand them as most people do. So, he consumes humanity literally (cannibalism) as well as metaphorically (being in the psychology field), he plays God, he copies other serial killer's designs as a way to connect, to feel, to give himself some semblance of a "support system" (while also proving his superiority. Like I said previously: homebody has a serious God Complex. Only he's clearly Satan) even though he's out there on his own, living under the shadows. - Abigail feels homeless and has an immense desire for stability and a place that feels like home. Which, yes, is a very common fear, but feels especially urgent and necessary for Abigail (and Will, too. But we'll get to him later). Hannibal attempts to manipulate this need to his own advantage by attempting to make her feel like she's the one in control and making decisions. "Psychological trauma is an affliction of the powerless," he states. "I want to give you your power back." He's Giving it to her, though, which means he's actually the one in control. Of course. - It feels in many ways, that by creating a companion and muse for himself in Abigail, she is slowly being shaped by Hannibal into a "negative" so Will can see his own personal "positive" — just like with the copycat murders! Perhaps this will be Hannibal's eventual Achilles' Heel. - Quotes of note include: Abigail: "I'll just have to get used to lying." Hannibal smiles, "When you're with me you don't have to lie about anything." Abigail: "Does that make me a sociopath?" "No, it makes you a survivor," says Hannibal. - Abigail also expresses an interest in working for the FBI (gosh, she is such a Will! And all this time I bet she thought she was a Miranda or a Carrie). "I would certainly feel safer with you in the FBI. Protecting my interests." Oh you would say that, Hannibal. - Hannibal makes Abigail breakfast for dinner. "Sausage and eggs was the last meal I was having with my parents." "It's also the first meal you're having with me." When one trail of destruction ends, another picks up right where it left off, eh? Hannibal- Basically, this guy is just a monster, going through his incredibly subtle-yet-effective manipulative motions. Also, he totally fed Will's dogs human sausage which (of course) has me irrationally convinced they're going to become bloodlusty monsters and cause harm to our hero. - And then this insane motherf**ker gave our poor, traumatized Abigail shroom tea? Bad trip: you're asking for it. Hannibal explains that it might make her therapy experience "spiritual." There's that complex of his again! - "You and I will have lots of secrets," Hannibal says to Abigail. Oh, I am sure you have tons of secrets in store for this poor thing. - Abigail doesn't feel well. "That feeling will pass. Allow it to wash over you, through you. Let me be your guide." - Mads Mikkelsen, you are going to haunt my nightterrors for real. - Every word out of his mouth has double meaning! "Taste is not only biochemical, it's psychological." To quote a lil Oscar Wilde: this suspense is terrible! I hope it will last. - Question: Do we think Abigail is the consolation prize Hannibal's accepted after realizing he'd never "turn" Will?  Will - Feeling safe, secure, and in-control (Shall we say "powerful," perhaps?) seems to be a constant fear of Will's. For him, that the peace and safety he craves mentally as well as physically is found in his home. It is like a boat out at sea — a secluded place where he is safe, and can keep others — in proximity to him: the dogs. Metaphorically: the distance from the rest of society may be a physical barrier to keep them safe from Will — safe. This is probably due to the fact that the idea of family is tough for our hero. "There's something so foreign about family," Will explained. He never connected with the concept, and was a frequently-uprooted (his father moved a lot) outcast as a child. Tumultuous origin story? Check. - Will explains that reenacting Garret Jacob Hobbs' crime spoke to him "with noise and clarity." Hannibal states "You can sense his madness, like a bloodhound." Will's own homicidal urges are clearly growing stronger with each new case, and his extreme empathy is blurring lines between real life and his mind's own creations. An internal struggle remains! "I got so close to him, sometimes I felt like we were doing the same things at different times of day ... even after he was dead." - But he also feels a tremendous amount of guilt because of his empathetic nature. "I tried so hard to know Garret Jacob Hobbs. To see him." Not just for Abigail Hobbs, but also for her friend Marissa, who ended up impaled on antlers as Hannibal's second Hobbs copycat kill last episode. Why? "Because I felt like I killed her," Will explains. - "We don't know what nightmares lie coiled beneath Will's pillow." Good point, Hannibal. The Bromance: Unraveling? - Things definitely seem to be getting a bit prickly between Will and Hannibal, no? The edge in Will's tone when he calls Hannibal's line of questioning about mothers "lazy psychology" feels especially pointed and biting. I can't shake the feeling that Will is hiding something about what he knows or thinks about Hannibal, but I'm sure we won't know what that is for awhile. - And Hannibal is doing some dirty work! He's clearly trying to make the link between Daddy Hobbs and Will, but attempting to do so in a way that influences Will's thoughts. Something we all know he won't fall for — you won't like him when he's psychoanalyzed, remember? "I know who I am. I'm not Garret Jacob Hobbs, Dr. Lecter." he asserts. Other Things of Note...- Anyone else find it interesting/amusing that Will Graham's home is located in a town called Wolf Trap?- Will has seriously enviable organizational skills when it comes to putting away his clothes. Not much variety, sure, but the man has obsessive uniformity on lock when it comes to t-shirt time.- Hannibal's cholesterol must be out of control with the amount of human sausage he eats. Plus, us Americans are a chubby lot, so that can't be all good fats in that diet of his! - Will says "thank you for feeding [my dogs] while I was away," and well just wait a minute there: did Will give Hannibal permission to enter his house, or is he just proving to Hannibal that he notices everything? (He is very perceptive with animals and hunger, as evidenced by the cat in the first episode).- ...Either way, while Will's away the serial killer will play, y'all.- I don't understand how Dr. Bloom feels any sort of human connection with Hannibal. I get he was her mentor, but, seriously?- In one of the brief moments featuring Agent Crawford, Hannibal coos, "You promised to deliver your wife to my dinner table." F**king creepy, dude. I just feel like this season is going to end with Abigail dead. Right? That's how Hannibal and Will's relationship has to unfold because he won't be able to see who Hannibal truly is without Abigail. She's the key! What do you think of this abridged version of "Ceuf"? Let us know your own thoughts in the comments! Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More:'Hannibal' Recap:Folie À Deux'Hannibal' Recap: A Broken Pony and The Fungus Among Us  From Our Partners15 Nude Photo Scandals (vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • 'Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's' Gets Down to the Business of Fashion — EXCLUSIVE CLIP
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 24, 2013
    There's a lot of business that goes into fashion frivolity. But you don't have to trust our word for it, because the new fashion documentary Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's showcases it all, with more than a few of the industry's biggest names talkin' shop. Namely, the iconic shop from which the doc takes its name: 5th Avenue's Bergdorf Goodman. The department store/materialism emporium is a Manhattan mainstay and oft-epicenter for many an FIT or Parsons graduate. In this exclusive clip, gives you a taste of the names, the history, the talent, and the drama — it's not fashion if there's not drama — that created such a beacon of fashion. "Bergdorf Goodman is the epitome of the luxury idea in a department store," explains be-all, end-all shoe designer Christian Louboutin. And he's not alone in his opinions: "It's just one of those things you fantasize about," quips Diane von Furstenburg. With the "most discerning customers in the world" according to Michael Kors, it's no wonder everyone who's anyone in fashion is in this film. It would simply be unfashionable not to! Get on-trend, my friends. Want to know more? Check out the clip below. Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's opens in New York on May 3, 2013. Check out the film's Facebook page for more information. Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More:8 Iconic Red Carpet Dresses Get Makeovers Limitless Fashion: Is More Actually Magnificent?All of Kim Kardashian's Crazy Maternity Fashion From Our Partners50 Worst Celeb Mugshot Fails (vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • Diane Keaton Likes Tantric Sex, Punching Robert DeNiro, Iced Red Wine
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 23, 2013
    Let's get this straight: Diane Keaton is a flawless queen. She is a Woody Allen muse, Oscar winner, style icon, Architectual Digest centerfold, a founding Head Queen Goddess Boss Lady, and a giver of none of the f**ks (a fabulous by product of doin' you, y'all). And nowhere was this more evident than in her delightfully drunken interview on Ellen Degeneres' talk show this week. Keaton ostensibly visited The Ellen Show to promote her new film, The Big Wedding, but felt a wee bit parched so she brought her ice-laden red wine out to play. Oh, and play it did: the actress discussed tantric sex, punching Robert DeNiro, and even her own desire to get hitched. Keaton, because she's too much woman for mere mortal men, has never been married. She reminded us exactly why there's booze at weddings to begin with: dealing with family is just easier that way. Diane, girl, let's do happy hour. Basically, Diane Keaton is perfect and if I don't grow up to be her, my life will have all been for naught. Check out her appearance in the clip below. Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More:'The Big Wedding': Welcome to Every Rom-Com Ever Paramount Has Big Plans for 'The Big Wedding' From Our Partners50 Worst Celeb Mugshot Fails (vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • 'The Bling Ring' Trailer: That Sofia Coppola is One Celeb-Obsessed Celebrity
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 23, 2013
    Sofia Coppola loves celebrity. She's a part of it, she grew up in it, and nearly all of her movies are about it. Homegirl has a weird obsession with our culture's own weird obsession with famous people, says the writer on a pop culture website! But it's true — it's everywhere, and seems to only grow more insiduous as the years teeter slowly onward. Which is probably why the director penned The Bling Ring screenplay in the first place. Celebrity worship: you're doing it wrong, America. For those who prefer their news to actually contain some, well, news, the story of the Bling Ring (yes, that's what they were called) is a fairly simple, if completely confounding one. You see, one day in October 2008, a bunch of already rich, bored teenagers from Calabasas, California (OMG the Kardashians live there SO kewl), decided to start robbing the homes of a bunch of celebrities (with special emphasis on Paris Hilton for lord knows what reason. Symbolism, I guess.) over a period of nearly a year. That's right — these entitled motherf**kers somehow managed to get away with this for a year. Proof that in America literally anything is possible. Those who need a bit more convincing that this is likely going to be one of the more absurd films to come out in 2013 need look only below at the newly released theatrical trailer. OMG, I wonder what Lindsay Lohan thinks about this trailer. Does she think it's cool!? Does she think it's fun?! Does she think they're like, so totally badass even though they broke into her home and stole her things (if they really are her things, since we all know Lohan has a bit of an affinity for a five-finger discount herself)?! I'm sure the youths (nothin' scarier!) portrayed in this film are just dyyyyying to find out. From jail, obviously, because they're awful. Leslie Mann and American Horror Story's Taissa Farmiga also star in The Bling Ring, which opens in theaters June 14, 2013. Will you so totally be checking it out? Let us know in the comments. Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More:See Emma Watson Pole Dance in 'The Bling Ring'If Nothing Else, 'The Bling Ring' Will Be FashionableEmma Watson Strips Down For Sensual Portrait From Our Partners:Eva Longoria Bikinis on Spring Break (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
  • 'The Mindy Project' Acquires Adorable Web Series Sibling With 'The Morgan Project'
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 22, 2013
    If for nothing more than the theme song alone (wherein we experienced all of the guffaws), The Mindy Project's surprisingly named new web series, The Morgan Project, is a delight. How is it that Dr. Mindy Lahiri has a whole television series about her unending quest for love with such a paramour professional so close by? We had no idea sweet, sweet murse (that's male nurse) Morgan Tookers had all the right moves when it comes to wining and dining the ladies. Well, if you replace "all the right moves" with "every single wrong idea about dating, maybe ever." The Fox sitcom's cuddly comedic darling has gotten his own web series, and, well — it's actually sort of charming! At least after episode one (which premiered today on TVLine). The quickie video has everything you dig about the relationships on The Mindy Project: quippy banter, conversations that bounce between offended and intruiged, Betsy saying weird stuff, the perma-confused but perma-handsome face of Ed Weeks (Dr. Reed), and that seemingly human-esque puppy, Ike Barinholtz— also known as our title character. Will Morgan ever find love? Can Beverly go five seconds without saying something offensive? Are Betsy and Morgan actually a secretly-perfect match-made-in-kookyheaven? (Our thought: maybe yes.) Check out the first episode, below. Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter More:The Dos and Don'ts of Dating from 'The Mindy Project': When It's Business TimeThe Dos and Don'ts of Dating from 'The Mindy Project': If He's a Male ProstituteThe Dos and Don'ts of Dating from 'The Mindy Project': If He's a Cool Christian 'Workaholic' From Our PartnersStars Pose Naked for 'Allure' (Celebuzz)50 Worst Celeb Mugshot Fails (vh1)
  • Richie Havens, Iconic Woodstock Opener, Dead at 72
    By: Alicia Lutes Apr 22, 2013
    Richie Havens, rhythmic folk guitarist and soulful opener for the historic (and original) 1969 Woodstock Music & Art Fair, has passed away from a sudden heart attack at his New Jersey home. The news was confirmed in a statement from his publicist to He was 72. Havens was most commonly known for his largely improvised set as the first performer during the era-defining Woodstock festival of love and good vibes. After the notoriety that followed his appearance, the Brooklyn, New York native found consistent success over the course of a 45-year career. He didn't retire from touring until March of 2012, citing health problems. During that time, he managed to record more than 26 albums: no small feat in the increasingly fickle world of music and music consumption. But Havens was largely praised for his work as a live performer. A master melder of genres, Havens drew large amounts of inspiration from the folk, blues, rock, jazz, funk, and bluegrass that made up the music scene in the '50s and '60s era of Greenwich Village in New York City. It's no wonder former President Bill Clinton had him perform at his 1993 inauguration. Truly, an innovator and a legend has been lost. Follow @AliciaLutes on Twitter From Our Partners:Eva Longoria Bikinis on Spring Break (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)