Author

Anna Brand
Anna Brand officially began her career in journalism when she landed her first internship at the now-defunct Jane magazine (RIP). Since then, she's tackled everything from celebrity interviews and entertainment news to home décor and fashion trends. Reporting was her jam until she was matched with her biggest thrill, headline writing. Now, Anna edits the homepage for Hollywood.com, where she crafts teasing copy so that all you people will click on our stories! When she's not in the office, Anna can be found gossiping about Bravo's Housewives like they're her friends, studying Oliver Hudson's jawline, and channeling Joey Potter while watching old Dawson's Creek episodes.
  • 'Nashville' Recap: Finally! The Kiss We've All Been Waiting For
    By: Anna Brand Feb 07, 2013
    Two weeks ago on Nashville, everyone decided to be honest and bitchy. It was a nice change of pace from the passive aggressiveness we've grown to love/hate since we first met our Queen and her minions. This week, we got everything we hoped would come at episode two. But maybe it was a good thing we had to sit and wait because boy did it feel gooooooooooood. And the anticipated kiss wasn't the only thing that got me gasping. You'll see… The Rayna and Deacon Story Oh, these guys. They're just the s*ittiest, aren't they? Since Deacon joined Juliette's tour team, the awkwardness had been unbearable. Rayna wouldn't look over once in his direction during their flight to Chicago, and when they got off the plane they deliberately went obnoxiously separate ways. But they couldn't hide from each other forever, or even for four minutes, because before they made it to their respective hotel rooms, the lovely ex-duo found themselves in an empty elevator, Grey's Anatomy style. They said nothing to each other and Deacon walked out with his head high, pretending he didn't get turned on by the scent of her hairspray. They avoided each other during the actual performance, which seemed like it would probably be impossible in a real-life situation, and found themselves once again in an elevator. (Couldn't ABC think of another setting?) This time, Rayna tried to make conversation about the tour and how when he sang with Juliette it just ripped her heart out, but Dea didn't even turn his head to respond. Again, no words at all. RELATED: 'Nashville' Recap: Battle of the Bronzed Arms and Gold Glitter But, alas, third time in an elevator was the charm for these two fools and Deacon wasn't going to waste any second of it. He grabbed her bronzed, freckled cheeks the way he'd wanted to for years and pulled her mouth to his. The lovers kissed passionately for the entire ride up to his floor and it was sexy, just like we imagined it would be. He left her at the ding and stormed into the hall, but it didn't end there. Rayna wanted more. She wanted so much more. She whipped out her phone and sent a good ole' text that said they should "talk." But when Deacon made his way up to her room, he saw Teddy standing at the entrance. And his heart sunk and we were back to square one. Sort of. The Juliette and Deacon Story Juliette and Deacon may have the truest friendship of all. Maybe it's because J's mom is a recovering alcoholic or the fact that they both feel they don't truly fit in anywhere, but whatever it is, it just seems honest. They started playing their old music together again — the music that Juliette feels most connected to. She told him she was worried about losing her image — the one that includes confetti and smoke and bright lights — even though she wants to be free of it. So she asked him what would Rayna do? RELATED: 'Nashville' Recap: Private Jets and Cougar Bars Deacon told her that Rayna would stay true to herself and so Juliette decided she would, too. Before she performed her typical set, Juliette walked out on stage in blue jeans and a boring white top and sang the calmest song to ever exist with Deacon on the guitar. And though someone in the press hate-Tweeted about it, her fans were fans. And so, a new J was born. The Teddy and Peggy Story Oh dear Lord is Peggy a nut and a half. She's not even a salty, tasty nut like a pistachio; she's a totally bonkers nut. The nut you never want to go near because you're kind of scared of it. Like an acorn. Or a corn nut. Anyway, Teddy ran into Peggy on the street — who was dressed as a 1950s stewardess on crack —and they started talking about their bad lives. Peggy told him that she's essentially divorced and gave an obvious wink if he didn't get the hint. They walked and talked and walked and talked and ended up in Teddy's car. Before Peggy exited in the most dramatic fashion ever, Teddy grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a big, annoying kiss. And it didn't stop there. Yes, they did it. But I guess it's been a long time since we've seen anyone naked in bed, so I'm not complaining. The Scarlett-Gunnar-Avery Story Even though Scarlett is the most annoying person to get behind a camera, or a mic, or anywhere where anyone can hear her helpless baby voice, we really should talk about what happened. So, Scar is poor. She had no money to afford her home, the one she used to share with Avery. But don't worry, she worked it out. She asked Gunnar to be her roommate! Because it wouldn't be odd that they'd be sharing a space after they kissed and realized they both have feelings for each other, right? But Gunnar was just as stupid as she was! He agreed to it! But what would Avery say? After he walked around with some camera filming about his past for some bizarre documentary of sorts that his cougar manager thought up, he decided to pay Scar a nice little visit. Maybe he was going to apologize for wearing a choker necklace all the time, who knows? RELATED: 'Nashville' Recap: Secrets, Bribes, and Skinny Dipping But before he could say anything, he saw Gunnar unpacking and realized what was going on. The two started going at it in the least-barbaric way possible and got a teeny bit bruised. It wasn't sexy. It wasn't dangerous. It was sad. I worry about Avery The Rayna and Teddy Story Teddy was worried about Rayna being on tour with Deacon and turns out, he very well needed to be! Not only did Ray and Dea suck face, but he full-on slept with crazy-lady Peggy. Everyone was in the wrong. So, Teddy took a trip out to Chitown to see his dear wife. But he didn't own up to what he had done or try to make things right. He told her he wanted a divorce. That's right. The "perfect" couple of Nashville will part ways for good, hopefully. And it is exactly what will save this series. [Image Credit: ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl From Our Partners: Young Han Solo Movie: Dave Franco to Star? (Moviefone) Justin Bieber Drug and Cheating Rumors?! (Vh1)
  • 7 Super Bowl Commercials That Will Make You Bawl
    By: Anna Brand Feb 01, 2013
    If you have a soul, you have cried during a Super Bowl. Maybe not because of a bad play or a game's outcome, but definitely as a result of a commercial or two (or if you're anything like me, 10). You know it's coming, and it's going to hit hard. So you find a corner, a bar napkin, and a glass of water, and try not to be too obvious when tears and snot make their annual public debut. The latest offender is Budweiser, who continues right on the heartstrings bandwagon with their new commercial, "The Clydesdales: Brotherhood." The ad is essentially about a baby horse and his trainer who become best friends, the way a man and his dog horse do. The two are separated when the horse begins competing, but are reunited three years later. And if that's not enough to get you blubbering, just raise the volume and let the sound of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide" fill your empty heart until you've literally died of manipulated emotion. Embarrassingly touching, right? If you feel duped, it's not the first time. Remember when Google totally f***ed up your night by playing "Parisian Love" in the third quarter of Super Bowl LXIV — the tale of an American finding love while studying abroad in Paris? It was unrealistic and brilliant. We should probably also talk about the time the yellow robot had a dream he got fired from his job at General Motors and had to work the drive-thru at a fast food restaurant. Or when we realized Matthew Broderick is old now. This Monster.com commercial where kids share their "joke" aspirations was funny when it ran in 1999, but is now just utterly depressing in 2013. When Pepsi mashed veteran reunion clips, road trips, vintage concert scenes and Bob Dylan's "Forever Young" into a one-minute ad, it hurt. It hurt hearts. And of course, bringing us full circle, Budweiser's 9/11 tribute, which only aired once during the 2002 Super Bowl. [Photo Credit: Budweiser] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Mad Men' and The Super Bowl: How Would Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Advertise? Bar Refaeli Has a Makes Out (Sloppily) with a Nerd for a Super Bowl Commercial 10 Iconic Super Bowl Commercial Stars: Where Are They Now? You Might Also Like: Biden? Ford? Surprisingly Hot Young Pics of Politicians Who Wore This Crazy Hat? Stars Who Changed Their Look After Love
  • What J.J. Abrams' 'Star Wars' Will Look Like: Everyone, Meet Leilicity
    By: Anna Brand Jan 25, 2013
    When news broke that J.J. Abrams will reportedly be helming the Star Wars sequel, fans of the franchise — and the Internet — responded chaotically, naturally. Would Abrams' voice help or harm the film already being held to extremely high standards? Though it won't be released until 2015, speculation of a Star Wars flick directed by the man behind such cult classics as Star Trek, Alias, and Super 8 Lost, is already running rampant. But one thing is for certain: Felicity will be a driving force. The opening crawl will probably start with: "Here's the thing…". There will likely be an ominous box left unopened. Of course, there will be leather. Suspect hair choices? Check. And angst. (There's always angst.) J.J. Abrams ALSO has the opportunity to lure new fans to the franchise. Like fans of the WB. And rom-dramedies. Anyway, there's no way he won't be double-dipping in the Star Wars sequel, right? Right. So, let's just go ahead and start calling our dear Princess Leilicity from now on. Slips right off the tongue, doesn't it? [Image Credit: Wenn; Lucasfilm] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars': Savage Opress Attacks Mandalore — EXCLUSIVE CLIP Joss Whedon Disappointed That Joss Whedon Isn't Directing 'Star Wars: Episode 7' Guillermo Del Toro Said No to Directing 'Star Wars: Episode VII'
  • 10 Things That Will Cheer 'Apt. 23' Star James Van Der Beek Up
    By: Anna Brand Jan 24, 2013
    It's been a sad week for James Van Der Beek, our dear creek friend. The lover and dreamer and believer won't be able to play himself in Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23 anymore because the show has been canceled, essentially. And though he has stayed positive since news broke and only speaks kindly of ABC and his experience as a cast member, it still must sting a little to know that the world didn't like you enough. So, JVDB, in case you're out there, somewhere, know this: The world loves you, D-Man, and you should keep your spirits high! If ever feeling low, just remember these 10 awesome moments you rocked. 10. The time you got to play a football star and get seduced by Ali Larter's whipped cream bikini, making every male on the planet jealous. 9. The time you locked lips with Joey Potter for the first time in the Capeside library next to dusty books. Detention would never be the same. 8. The time you got to be a part of a show that will never, ever die, ever. 7. The time you got to play a serial killer in Criminal Minds and succeeded at really scaring people. 6. The time you got unconditional love from The Huffington Post. 5. The time you read a passage from Twilight: Breaking Dawn aloud, by fireside. 4. The time you rode bareback on a horse. And owned it. 3. The time you played a drummer named Paulie in an episode of Clarissa Explains It All. Note: the combover. 2. The time you made disturbing look seriously sexy when you sported a black eye and downed a bottle of Jack Daniel's in The Rules of Attraction. 1. The time you got to wear thick, aggressive sideburns in the western film Texas Rangers. [Image Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC, uberdork03] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: ‘Don’t Trust the B’ Pulled from ABC Schedule, Is it Canceled? 10 Bitchiest One-Liners from This Week's 'Don't Trust the B' Late Night Last Night: Opa! Heidi Klum Dances on Tables for Leno From Our Partners: Craziest Celebrity Swimsuits (Celebuzz) 25 Risqué Miley Cyrus Stage Outfits (Celebuzz)
  • 'Nashville' Recap: A Sick Game of Truth or Dare
    By: Anna Brand Jan 24, 2013
    Last week on Nashville, all of our friends exercised their right to some good ol' passive aggressive bitchiness. But last night, for the first time, honesty was flowing from everyone's veins faster than Juliette could get her top off. People were speaking their mind left and right — for better or worse — and it was just beautiful. The turn from phony to truthful is perhaps just what we needed to get back on a drama-filled course. The Deacon and Rayna Juliette Story Remember way back when when Deacon and Juliette had a fling of sorts and then he helped her mom check herself into rehab? That seems like ages ago, but it wasn't. It was only a bit ago and the fire is still burning. Well, sort of. What hasn't faded at all is the friendship that these two sordid souls formed over a shared disturbing history. Juliette's mom is out of rehab for a brief time, and Deacon is there to be her shoulder. He knows the pain of both sides and wants to be her support. It's all very nice. Deacon invited Juliette's mom to the tour party to celebrate Juliette and Rayna, and although Juliette was all skeptical about bringing her mom into a room filled with booze and fancy people — as she should be — she conceded. The three of them went hand-in-hand, and surprisingly mama Barnes was well-behaved. What Juliette couldn't stand was that everyone — including her mom — was paying more attention to Rayna than to her. RANYA, RANYA , RANYA!, she screamed over and over again in her hairsprayed head. Deacon was also affected by Rayna's power, as he nearly turned to the bottle. But it wasn't just about Rayna — a magazine article from his short-lived tour just hit stands, and it did not say nice things about him. Nothing nice at all. He was wallowing in his pain when Rayna stopped by his house to check in on him. Instead of beating around the banter bush, the two really got right at it. Deacon told Rayna that he was not her responsibility anymore, and then proceeded to blame her for all that's f***ed. He told her she gave up on him when he was in rehab, and that he thought they were going to get married. She told him that she didn't know that the fifth time was going to work. That she was tired of waiting. It was the most honest conversation the two have had, and it was definitely a long time coming. After more word vomit, Rayna walked away defeated, and Deacon slammed the door behind him. Fast-forward to Dea sitting in his disheveled room, contemplating going down the rabbit hole again. When Juliette was sitting with him, trying to be helpful, he told her that he only got better for Rayna. Juliette told him straight that Rayna seemed like the last thing he needs right now. He agreed to join Juliette's band, and next thing we know, he's on a plane with her and Rayna leaving for the next leg of the tour. Let the drama ensue. The Rayna and Teddy Story When are these two going to give it up? The whole thing. Yes, Teddy is cute in a buttoned-up sort of way, but he's a liar and a cheater and, well, he just doesn't have the stubbled cheek Rayna's going for these days. She's been all into her new "partner" — Liam something or other. He's like a younger Deacon, but even cuter. She's tempted by his dark eyes and power, but she does have a moral compass. That she does. But what she and Teddy didn't do this episode was tiptoe around their problems. She told Teddy that she's staying with him, even through his lies and deceit, even though she was waiting for Deacon to recover at one point. (Even though one of her daughters is Deacons?!) Everything appeared to be fine, or at least manageable, until Teddy saw Deacon hopping on the tour plane. He knows what's coming. It's just a matter of time. The Scarlett and Gunnar Story These two might as well be a married couple. You can tell because they've started bickering. Scarlett was being offered a part in a band, which she wanted Gunnar to be a part of, but he's just happy writing songs in their laundry room, or something. He's not ready to commit to anything, especially considering his fugitive brother is missing somewhere, with his damn guitar. It's real-life problems that he doesn't feel Scarlett can handle. But he tried. He really, really tried to explain the situation to her. Of course, the second he attempted to do so, the quivering lip came out and she pouted and ran away. God, is she annoying. Gunnar obviously likes her, or wants to bone — one of the two — but she isn't making it easy by playing Lady Madonna. Does she own anything but white? Come ON. So, the two are at a standstill. Gunnar is going to have to figure out his brother drama on his own and until then, Scar will be practicing musical rounds by herself in the mirror, brushing her hair 100 times. The Avery Story Oh, Avery. Poor, poor Avery. He just wants to be noticed! Our choker friend showed his vulnerable side this episode, when he tried to interact with Juliette. Because his band left him and his cougar manager sucks, he needed backup. He went to Juliette at the tour party, but she could not care less. His glistening eyes and porcelain skin and baby voice don't do it for her. He couldn't even get a few words out before she flat-out said she had never heard of him. Burn. Avery put his head down, Eeyore-style, and moped around for the rest of the party. Juliette won't talk to him, Scarlett won't talk to him, the cougar won't even sleep with him anymore for Christ's sake. He was having a bad day. All he could do was drive around, blasting music, thinking about all of his failures and the pathetic road he's taken. He's got no girl, no music and his hair is starting to look repulsively greasy. And it seems his disaster of a life is just beginning. [Image Credit: Chris Hollo/ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Nashville' Recap: Battle of the Bronzed Arms and Gold Glitter 'Nashville' Recap: Private Jets and Cougar Bars 'Nashville' Recap: Secrets, Bribes, and Skinny Dipping From Our Partners: Craziest Celebrity Swimsuits (Celebuzz) 25 Risqué Miley Cyrus Stage Outfits (Celebuzz)
  • Cherries Scare the Hell Out of Me — Or, Why I Won't Be Seeing 'Mama'
    By: Anna Brand Jan 17, 2013
    When you think about cherries, you probably think about pie. Or maybe you think about sex — specifically, the time some girl tried to tie a cherry stem with her tongue, but then failed, and it was hilarious. You could be thinking about a Shirley Temple cocktail... but you probably aren't, since it doesn't have any alcohol (so why would you?). Or, if you're like me, and don't think about cherries at all. Ever. Because cherries scare the sh*t out of you. I was forced to think about the devil's fruit when I heard that it plays a role in the new supernatural thriller, Mama. (You've heard of it, it's with Jessica Chastain.) And since I heard this rumor from a reliable source, who actually did see an early screening of the movie, I'm going to take a back seat. There's no way I'm voluntarily going to see another movie featuring those nasty pits. But in case you're wondering, here's the gist: two feral girls (ew) are inexplicably fed cherries (ew) for the five years they lived alone in a cabin in the woods with Mama. That's all they eat. So, when they're eventually discovered, they find them and a huge pile of pits (ew). The younger one continues to eat them (ew) after they re-enter society, and the director routinely cuts to her sucking down cherries (ew) and spitting out the pits (ew). If that's not enough to deter you from the film (but really, go see it! I hear it's quite good) then I don't know what is. Oh wait! Yes I do! You see, this isn't the first time cherries have caused deep fear and unease on the big screen. And it's no coincidence these twisted directors keep choosing cherries as their supporting stars. There's a reason I won't go near them at bodegas. There's a reason I cringe at even a jarred maraschino. There's a reason I want to set fire to all cherry-printed apparel. And now I live a life of sad cherry-less ice cream sundaes. It all stemmed (ha) from The Witches of Eastwick. You know, that crazy-ass fantasy movie with Jack Nicholson and Cher (!) and some other great people, and a whole bunch of spells and stuff. Well, it was entertaining — and even light-hearted — until someone tried to mess with Nicholson's character Daryl Van Horne. People should know better than to mess with him by now. Anyway, one woman (her name was Felicia, like it matters) decides that he's the devil, and begins ranting about him to her husband. Shortly after, she starts vomiting cherry stones. Don't remember? Go ahead, try and watch. Then there was Cold Creek Manor with Dennis Quaid and Sharon Stone. They both seem like nice people who would be in a nice movie. But it's not nice a movie. It's not nice because of the cherries! In one horrid scene, Dennis Quaid visits the original owner of Cold Creek Manor (yes, that was actually Christopher Plummer) in a mental hospital. He's a senile lunatic who can't stop cramming chocolate covered cherries in his mouth. "Gimme another cherry! Gimme another cherry!" That's his famous line, and it's beyond frightening. And if you still haven't been totally grossed out (who are you?), take a look at the trailer for this endearing film, Cherry Falls, about a small town murderer who kills all the virgins of the local high school. It's quite pleasant! I never intended to scare you away from eating cherries altogether (yes I did), but please do bear this bit of information in mind the next time you hear about a cherry cameo in a film. Just know it won't be sexy at all. [Image Credit: George Kraychyk/Universal Pictures] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: Yo 'Mama' Trailer Is So Scary, It Even Made the Ghosts Hide How 'Possession' Producer Sam Raimi Continues to Be a Master of Horror The Best Exorcism Movies
  • 'Nashville' Recap: Two Faces to Every Demented Story
    By: Anna Brand Jan 17, 2013
    We all know our friends down South can exercise the right to some good ole' passive aggressive bitchiness. It's in their blood, or something. And tonight, for the first time perhaps, we see it bursting out of everyone's perfect, small pores full steam ahead. Last week on Nashville, everyone was so depressed. There were tears and groans and so many sighs. Everyone was mourning over their losses – and probably the fact that we were left off without a tad of real drama – crying about how great life once was. But this week was different. There was a quick turn from sad to phony and showed everyone's beautifully deceitful true colors. The Rayna and Deacon Story Deacon is still hustling on tour with his jerk bandmates. They're all so grimy and sleazy and corrupt, but they have unlimited drug resources and get to jam all night long! Deacon doesn't mind it so much, especially since Carmen's sweet lips are still available for late-night room service. Plus, he gets to do his own thing, out of the Rayna spotlight. He's doing just fine, until he decides to bring Scarlett backstage with him after one of his shows. The sweet young thing in white lace and an inexplicable lisp of sorts gets hurried to a secret room by his jerkface bandmate and nearly gets raped! Well, maybe not raped, but he did have Scar's back against the wall and wouldn't let her go as much as she pleaded. It takes all of Deacon's will and might to burst in there and pull her back out, but not before landing several hits on the d-bags alcohol-wrinkled eyes. A hero! So, his tour abruptly ends, but not because he misses Rayna. The Queen, on the other hand, misses him dearly. She misses the way he wore his cowboy boots on stage and left his face unkempt and hair dripping in grease. She wants her guitarist back on stage with her and no one else will do. She tries another dude, but he's not about giving her the whole spotlight so he up and quits. She finally convinces another guy who's already part of her crew to hop on the guitar bandwagon and because he clearly wants to bang her, he obliges. And from the looks of the next episode, it appears that might just happen. Everybody wins! The Scarlett-Gunnar-Avery Story Avery, oh Avery. The choker-clad kid just wants to make it big. And this time he's pulling out all the stops. While using a cougar agent for press – or is she using him? – Avery pushes the age-old where's ma money whine and finally ladymom tells him that it's coming. It's just not coming until she get him all the money in the world. All the money he so deserves. The fact that he doesn't see through this bullsh*t is enough to know he's not going anywhere. Not without the help of Scarlett, at least. But see, Scar seems to be totally over his deep v-necks and stringy hair. She's all about Gunnar these days, which is like, yay finally. The two continue to play their music and laugh and sing and fall slowly and deeply into a love so pure it's intoxicating to watch. But he's got problems of his own. Gunnar's brother is back in the picture and boy does he have a story. They were young and stupid at one point when they were young and stupid and his brother robbed a store or something and got locked up for a hundred years. So now he's back! And he says he just wants to play music and be a family again, but once behind bars always behind bars. Right? Anyway, he steals Gunnar's guitar at the end of the day and it was as if he never existed… again. The Teddy and Rayna Story Man are these two totally f***ed. Rayna left for her tour and didn't want to look back at all. She didn't care about Teddy's campaign or the fact that she won't be able to eat freshly baked chocolate chip cookies every night with her annoyingly perfect kids. She wants none of it. Teddy does, though, at least we are led to believe. He sits at home petting his non-existent facial hair and plucking his brows wondering what (or who) she's doing. He wants their family back together and knows that landing the Mayorship will bring them close again. But that wasn't coming together as easy as he had hoped. He's behind in the polls and even though he wants it badly, he won't allow Lamar to pull strings. Though we know Lamar doesn't need his approval to do anything. At first, Rayna doesn't even want to come home for the big announcement, but last minute she decides she has to be. As the two sit there, watching the final polls come in revealing that Teddy has in fact won, they can't hide their subtle disappointment in one another. Neither wants to be sitting there, pretending. Pretending that their marriage is going to work. Pretending that winning Mayor is going to do anything but complicate matters worse. Pretending that Deacon's face isn't flashing before their eyes. After the celebration, Teddy goes to his hotel room (?) and strips off his blazer. He hears a knock on the door. It's Peggy. Crazy, crazy Peggy. She's back from her pill overdose hospital stint and creepily wants to wish him congratulations. Before she leaves, though, she leans in, ready to smack her psychotic lips on his, but doesn't. This has happened before and without question will happen again. The Juliette and Celibate Football Player Boyfriend Story Remember when Juliette got married for like a hot sec and then fled the scene and pretended that it never happened? That was funny. She's so funny this girl! Just because you're a superstar doesn't mean things like marriage don't exist. Unless you're Kim Kardashian. So, J is trying to divorce her virgin husband because an annulment is just too tricky. And it's really hard for her to juggle all of this nonsense while preparing for her tour! God! She's still sad about the whole thing, though. You know, behind her icy exterior that is just getting thinner by the minute. Anyway, so she eventually lawyers up and makes time to sit in a room with him and settle things. Her face says she doesn't care, but we all know better. And now it's over. It's all over. [Image Credit: ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Nashville' Recap: Battle of the Bronzed Arms and Gold Glitter 'Nashville' Recap: Private Jets and Cougar Bars 'Nashville' Recap: Secrets, Bribes, and Skinny Dipping From Our Partners: Craziest Celebrity Swimsuits (Celebuzz) 25 Risqué Miley Cyrus Stage Outfits (Celebuzz)
  • 10 Bitchiest One-Liners From This Week's Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23
    By: Anna Brand Jan 16, 2013
    This week was all about Chloe's quips. The B took her bitchiness to a new, horrifying level, and for the most part she was kind of hilarious. Well, there were a few extra nasty digs, but it has to balance out at some point, right? Also, the poor thing is so f***ed up she really just can't help herself. Also, is it just me or did it look like she got a bizarre botched bang job? Anyway, behold: Chloe's 10 bitchiest quotes of the week. 10. "Oh, I just realized, I hate you." The blondes were all wearing matching hot pink shirts, to be fair. 9. "You've just been mind-forked." I think I would like that. 8. "Carmen, for the love of God, can you stop quoting La Bamba?" Actually, yes, quoting La Bamba is not normal. 7. "Later, stupid!" I mean, whatever. 6. "Why are you saying what you're saying, you're boring." Is there anything worse than being called boring? 5. "Stop watching these dating shows and get in the game." Wait, what dating show? 4. "We're not here to see around and talk about tampons." No one, ever, talk about Tampons in public. 3. "Can we punch Luther?" Yes, please someone punch Luther. 2. "This [picnic] sucks." Picnics don't suck. 1. "We're just roommates. We are not friends." Burn. [Image Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: Kim Kardashian Lands Recurring Role on 'Drop Dead Diva' Kelly Osbourne stars in Drop Dead Diva Margaret Cho couldn't get onset during Kardashian's Drop Dead Diva shoot From Our Partners: Craziest Celebrity Swimsuits (Celebuzz) 25 Risqué Miley Cyrus Stage Outfits (Celebuzz)
  • 'Nashville' Recap: Everyone's Depressed
    By: Anna Brand Jan 10, 2013
    Someone please call a pharmacist, because we need large doses of anti-depressants stat. It's real bad. No one is smiling, no one is singing in cheerful pitches, no one is giving a damn at all. The last time we last saw our Southern friends from Nashville, we were left disappointed by the lack of drama. The big rivalry had disappeared between Rayna and Juliette, Deacon and Ray never got it on and Avery was still wearing his leather choker. We were expecting Country Strong on crack and what we got was a tiny dose of Crazy Heart, at best. And apparently, we're not the only ones depressed about it.  The Rayna and Deacon Story Ever since Deacon left Nashville to tour the world  — or three states, or something — everything has gone to sh*t. He's a mess of scruff walking the stage drunk on sad emotion. No, he hasn't actually been drinking (not that we've seen anyway), but man is this guy in a dark place. Being called a "backup" on any level is brutally torturing his ego. It's hurting his motivation so much so that he doesn't even blink twice when a mysterious brunette assaults his mouth at first sighting. It appears this attacker is an ex girlfriend of sorts, a reporter named Carmen. Good. Deacon's needed some love, if only tour love, to regain some of his mojo. But this isn't just a fling — apparently these two have known each other for at least 14 years. Carmen knows all about his ever-growing rabbit hole, and she takes full advantage of it. The two roll around between hotel sheets for hours, trying to escape his dark cloud. But it is lingering. It lingers on through the night, slowly straining Deacon's perfectly wrinkled brow, until he finally gets up and walks himself to the corner of the room and crouches into his misery. The Scarlett-Gunnar-Avery Story Here's the thing. This love triangle is possibly the worst love triangle in the history of love triangles. There's no real connection with any of the above. And none of the relationships are so strong that they merit deep, longing sorrow. They're trying, but it's just not working. So I'd rather not acknowledge its existence as a plot line at all. But, alas. Scar thinks she's free from crazy-man Avery as she and Gunnar start spending more time together. She's not sure whether she wants to remain a prissy princess singer or turn to the dark side — it's like that time on Boy Meets World when Eric met that cheery musician who kept singing about dandelions but then he pissed her off so she made a song called "Shallow Boy" and went all seems. Anyway, this could be what's happening to Scarlett, but we can't be sure yet. Gunnar's mad at her because they're not writing any music together, and her frustration leads her into Avery's adolescent-like arms. She welcomes ex sex warmly and after, as she's wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper and he's petting his choker, they get into a nasty fight and he storms out. Because no one saw thatcoming. This takes Scar to another stage where she rocks her head back and forth, singing a song she did not write. But man are people into her newfound edge. She's offered a spot in a band, but she just can't quite commit. Scar runs back to Gunnar where they sing in harmony in a dingy office space, and we all know she's chosen to stick with her white lace persona. The Teddy and Peggy Story This marriage is so over. It's so over they don't even try to pretend anymore. There's no hugging or cheek kissing or hair twirling. Ray doesn't flash her glossy teeth. She's so sad and mad and antsy that she asks for her tour with Juliette to get moved up, so she can get the f*ck out of Nashville. And this time she's taking the kids with her, she tells Teddy. Not surprisingly, he's devastated and angered at this news, so he goes to her father and sister (again). Doesn't he have any family of his own? Honestly, whereis his family? Well, we do find out that even his family isn't his family. What does that mean? It means one their daughters ISN'T REALLY HIS. Could it be Deacon's? Probably. So that's f***ing crazy. Eventually, D comes to realize that he'll never win a battle against the Queen of the Hair and backs down. He and Ray admit their marriage has failed and though they'll act fine in front of the kids for now, everything is dead. It's all dead. The Juliette and Celibate Football Player Boyfriend Story Welp, they went and got married! Juliette in white straddles her now husband, also in white, in a limo heading home, celebrating their bad decision. She's all smiles now that she can take his virginity, but all that changes quickly. As soon as his snotty parents find out what happened, they go buck wild. A proper wedding must be had! So the planning begins and in moments a venue and a dress is all picked out and ready to go. Literally a nano-second later we're at the big day. It's clear J isn't ready for this commitment — even though she's already gone through with it — and she keeps making confused faces at herself in her dress. And in the limo. And in the mirror. Etc. Etc. As she makes her way over to the church, she slouches back and removes the necklace her husband wants her to wear down the aisle. She leaves it in the car before she exits, strutting in her gown to her private plane. She's not going to get married. She's going to Fiji, or something. I wonder what will happen when she remembers that she's already married. [Image Credit: ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: Getting On Board For 'Stars in Danger: The High Dive'  The Best and Worst Moments of the 2012 Olympics The First-Ever (Fake) Annual Reality TV Emmy Awards From Our Partners: Guess the Celebrity Bikini Body! (Celebuzz) 30 Hottest Lingerie Scenes from the Past 30 Years (Celebuzz)
  • 10 Bitchiest Moments From This Week's Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23
    By: Anna Brand Jan 08, 2013
    Our dear friend Chloe never leaves us disappointed in the borderline evil and downright bitch department — so much so that she's rubbed off on the rest of the gang. (Yes including small-time-girl June-bug.) SO MUCH SO that every episode is like one big bitch fest sprinkled with only a few relatively heartwarming moments (if you can even call them that). And because I simply can't list all of the hurtful things our pals say to strangers — and to one another — I have compiled the top 10. 10. Old red zip-up windbreaker man threatening June in only the nastiest of ways by shouting, "Move or I'll kick you in the clam!" 9. Chloe's new nickname for June: Judge Judy. 8. Angry, pale neighbors screaming "WHORES" into the "brothel," or what they've deemed J and C's apartment. 7. Coffee shop man Mark growing long, creepy pubic-like sideburns and bashing his ex-girlfriend like she never ever mattered at all. Ex girlfriends matter, okay? 6. Dawson boning a slore in June's room in the middle of the day and then snapping when she acknowledges it. 5. Chloe despising single moms for the sole fact that "they make such a big deal about it." (Though kind of true, no?) 4. June bringing Chloe to the pleather-clad cougar bar, Saddlebags. So, it's a little funny. 3. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't marry a farmer! — Who else. 2. June slamming a poor and helpless Janice Dickinson for being a desperate cougar. Leave the poor lady alone! 1. Luther circling "problem areas" on a skinny blonde with a Sharpie marker. What is this, sorority pledging? [Image Credit: ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: TCA: FOX Picks Up M. Night Shyamalan Series; Late-Night Animation TCA: FOX Picks Up 'Bones' for 9th Season TCA: About the Time Kevin Bacon and James Purefoy Kissed Onstage... From Our Partners: Megan Fox’s 12 Hottest Moments (Moviefone) ’Texas Chainsaw’: Top 5 Leatherface Kills (Moviefone)