Author

Anna Brand
Anna Brand officially began her career in journalism when she landed her first internship at the now-defunct Jane magazine (RIP). Since then, she's tackled everything from celebrity interviews and entertainment news to home décor and fashion trends. Reporting was her jam until she was matched with her biggest thrill, headline writing. Now, Anna edits the homepage for Hollywood.com, where she crafts teasing copy so that all you people will click on our stories! When she's not in the office, Anna can be found gossiping about Bravo's Housewives like they're her friends, studying Oliver Hudson's jawline, and channeling Joey Potter while watching old Dawson's Creek episodes.
  • 10 Ways Suri Cruise Proves She's Cooler Than You
    By: Anna Brand Jan 07, 2013
    Some say it was the year of hair disasters, some say it was the year of demented movie titles, and some say it was definitely not the year of women, despite what some others are saying. But none of this matters. The only thing that really mattered this past year was the evolution (or not-so-evolution) of our favorite celebrity tot, Suri Cruise. With her pink dresses, sudden outbursts, and park bench flirting, the world really could not get enough. And who can blame the world? I mean, her mom is an idol to many, many twentysomethings. No? Okay, so just Dawson's Creek-obsessed me. In any case, presenting the top ten moments of Miss Suri in all her glory. I'll take toys from strangers if I want to take toys from strangers. I told you I'm a cat person. Don't look at me. Patterns on patterns FAIL. Sorry, I don't do sharing. I don't even care that we clash. Who's got my seashell purse? Stupid French braid. I know you're lying when you say this helmet looks cute. STFU. [Image Credit: FilmMagic, WireImage, INF, AKMGSI, Splash News, Pacific Coast News, Twitter] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl From Our Partners: ’Buckwild’ Stars Talk ‘Jersey Shore’ Comparisons: ‘I Ain’t Paying For No Tan’ (EXCLUSIVE VIDEO) (Celebuzz) Oscars 2013: Best Picture Race Is Down to ‘Lincoln’ Versus ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ (Moviefone)
  • Get Free Counseling at Lady Gaga's Concert
    By: Anna Brand Dec 30, 2012
    Lady Gaga won't just be providing a stellar (and likely rambunctious) show on the next leg of her Born This Way Ball tour. The star is attempting to create a judge-free environment for fans seeking a safe haven to talk out their issues. The singer took to her Facebook page to announce plans for a counseling center of sorts on her BornBrave Bus. Describing the pre-show as a "fun tailgating experience for monsters to unite," Gaga continues: "BornBrave Bus Is a place where mental health + depression are taken seriously w/ no judgement, FREE real help available to all. I feel like most kids don't look for help because they feel embarrassed so mom + I wanted to break the stigmas around "help" and make it fun." This isn't the first time the singer has promoted a mental health community – her Born This Way Foundation, founded in 2011, is all about embracing individuality. What do you think of her latest program? [Photo Credit: WENN.com] More: NYCC 2012: Sean Astin on Why Elijah Wood Has It Easy in 'The Hobbit' Trilogy Kristen Wiig, Elijah Wood and Others Attached to 'Revenge for Jolly!' Elijah Wood to Bring Back the Crazy in 'Maniac' You Might Also Like: Hillary Clinton Hospitalized for Blood Clot: Report 10 Pop Culture Moments That Would’ve Been Better Naked
  • 'Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23' Recap: Create Your Own Bender
    By: Anna Brand Dec 19, 2012
    Dawson is depressed. He's falling into a depression deeper than the day he had an identity crisis and ripped all the Spielberg posters off his walls. He can't get the image of his failed Dancing With the Stars performance out of his head. There's only one way to cure his pain. And it's a bender in East Hampton. So, Chloe scares June into thinking there's some sort of natural disaster and she goes running out of the apartment in a dress made of tin foil and straight into a luxury SUV. The Luxury SUV that she soon finds out will be driving her to the Hamptons. See, June doesn't want to leave her bed because she's worried she'll miss a call from a company about a job interview. But then Chloe reminds her that's what makes cell phones so gosh darn amazing – you can get a call from anywhere! So June concedes and on they go to start their benders. Dawson's getting drunk. His DWTSPTSD (Dancing With the Stars Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is getting out of control and he literally can't stop drinking 64-calories lo-cal beers. June has the gang stop at every farmer's market and goat-milking station (?!) on the way up and boy is she having a blast. This is what her bender means, she thinks. But oh is she mistaken. They finally arrive at Chloe's "crazy slutty" friend's house, only to find out that she is far from raging form. She's got new twins, for Christ's sake. And not the new boob job twins Chloe had thought. "We're all just one small hole in the condom away before our lives are destroyed," the B ponders. But is this going to put a damper on their bender? Hell no. June wanders over to a dusty mom-and-pop shop searching for some local jams or something when an Ashton Kutcher-like creature pops out from behind an aisle and introduces himself. "I'm Willoughby," the sir says. June recognizes that this must be the Willoughby who throws all the Hamptons rave parties and is more than thrilled when he hands her an invitation to his soiree of the evening. Chloe slips into a tight red number, while June borrows the friend's dress with a convenient pill pocket, and they head to town. They can't find Dawson because he is walking aimlessly with beer in hand reflecting on all his failures. He'll catch up with them later. At the party, Chloe can't wait to find out who Willoughby is so she can bang him once and for all. But when he finally reveals himself as Ashton Kutcher a former fat guy who still swims with his T-shirt on Chloe shouts that he's her husband?!?! Yes, it's true. Back in '05 when sh*t was cray, Chloe and Willoughby were at a wedding party and decided to get hitched. Why not? He's hot, she's hot, they were both drunk. It was perfect. Chloe later read that some tall, skinny man was hit by a car and so she just assumed that she was a widow now. But clearly that was not the case. It is time for them to leave. But wait… Now, Dawson is wasted. He trips into the bushes and ends up in a backyard where Coffee Shop Guy is. It makes total sense. They both head to the basketball court and start shooting around, spilling their secrets. CSG is all verklempt about his unrequited feelings for June and Dawson, well, he's just bummed he'll never get the chance to make up for his DWTS embarrassment. So, the two head over to Willoughby's to face their fears. A circle forms around them on the dance floor as they deliver a perfect score performance. The performance Dawson had planned for DWTS. CSG then attempts to reveal his love for June, but he literally can't get the words out. He is beyond his bender. The crew all leaves together, but not before Chloe gets a quickie in with her annual fling Lenny Kravitz, and begins their journey back to the house. June checks her voicemail letting her know that she has an interview first thing in the morning, so she hops back in the SUV and heads home. And guess what? She gets the job! She's so pumped she drives back up the Hamptons after her interview, scones in hand, and celebrates with her posse. And for the first time, we leave our friends on a happy note. [Image Credit: ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Apt. 23' Recap: Falling Down the Lie Hole Apt. 23' Recap: Dawson Leery Is Sexiest Man Alive?! 'Apt. 23' Recap: What Dawson Leery Fears From Our Partners: ’Jack Reacher’: The Beginner’s Guide To The New Tom Cruise Movie ’Les Miserables’ Unscripted: Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway On Singing And Being Modest
  • 'Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23' Recap: Falling Down the Lie Hole
    By: Anna Brand Dec 12, 2012
    It's the season premiere of Dancing With the Stars (sort of) and it's Dawson's moment of truth. Will he be able to sashay his way to victory? Will his sparkly see-through vest make the judges swoon? Only his MIlTTT (Mother I Like To Talk To) AKA June's mom can calm his nerves before the big day. That, and playing a little game Chloe likes to call "Bar Lies." One of Dawson and Chloe's favorite pastimes is fooling bartenders into buying them drinks. Okay, well really just Chloe's, but Dawson can't resist using his stardom in public. Their favorite scenario is when Chloe gets to be Katie Holmes' cousin. This way, Chloe is guaranteed at least one round on the house, while Dawson gets to pretend he's in close proximity to a Holmes girl. It's a win-win situation. The problem with Chloe, though, is that she usually overdoes the lies (like everything else), bringing her to a place where only Jimmy Fallon can save her. That's right. Life lesson time: If ever too far down the lie hole that there's simply no recovery, just throw out Fallon's name and any doubt will disappear. Like magic. But see, June isn't happy about all the lying business. She's a Colbern, dammit!, and Colbern's don't stand for fibs. Of course, she finds it her duty to rectify Chloe's lying ways. She remembers all the times her mom would teach her about the importance of being honest and now she plans to pay it forward. Just when June thinks she can break Chloe's sin, she finds out The B is acting as realtor to rent out Dawson's home while he's away on the DWTS set. Can June keep this secret from Dawson, too? It could mean risking his chances of winning if he knows. Chloe takes this news home to ponder over, but while flipping through TV channels trying to clear her mind all she sees is Dawson. And then, the most wonderful thing (this decade) in TV history happened: The actual Dawson appeared. I'm not talking about James Van Der Beek. I'm talking about Dawson and Joey. In love. Talking about grams next to a tree. It quickly shifts to a made-up version of Dawson playing Dawson where he essentially tells June that she has to tell him about Chloe's loft scheme. It was all very trippy and unsettling and I'm not over it. Everything comes to a head when June finds out that her mom – the voice of honesty – lied to her about not being able to come to New York because of her "sick" husband, and actually flew to Los Angeles to be by Dawson's side during his DWTS performance. So, her mom isn't some "weird honesty freak," making Chloe a very happy sociopath. June is crushed and turns to the dark world of dishonesty. She attempts to tell some bar lies and play the Chloe game, but it's just really hard work for her. June is simply not cut out for a life of lies. Meanwhile, Dawson starts panicking in L.A. before his big glittery moment and sips some tea to calm his nerves. Only the tea wasn't the warm hug he's used to, but a dose of hallucinogens. The show does not go on. He does not salvage the disaster. And his career is probably coming to an end. [Image Credit: ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Apt. 23' Recap: The Emotional Sacagawea Apt. 23' Recap: Dawson Leery Is Sexiest Man Alive?! 'Apt. 23' Recap: What Dawson Leery Fears From Our Partners: Kate Middleton Pregnant: Could Her Royal Baby Be Crowned Queen Diana? (EXCLUSIVE GUEST BLOG) Taylor Swift, Harry Styles Sing Karaoke, Hold Hands in New York City (PHOTOS)
  • 10 Most Demented Movie Titles of 2012
    By: Anna Brand Dec 10, 2012
    There were good movies and bad movies and sad movies and scary movies and all sorts of movies in 2012. Movies that made us scream and cry and laugh and yawn. But most of all, 2012 brought us quite possibly the most absurdly-named films to date – enough to warrant an extensive analysis, or something like that. These titles made us scratch our heads and wonder about the round tables where such names were developed. Who are the people who actually approved titles that aren't just perplexing, but also in most cases totally bananas? Hopefully not working the same job, that's for sure. 10. What to Expect When You're Expecting Not only is this title a mouthful (seriously try to say it three times fast) but it's just plain easy. It's like someone was talking casually about their experience with pregnancy and said, "You know, there should be a movie about what what to expect when you're expecting that tells you what to expect when you're expecting." This isn't a confusing title, no, it's actually the most obvious and boring title known to woman. Actually, now that I think about it, it's a shock Katherine Heigl doesn't have a starring role. 9. Here Comes the Boom On what planet does a "boom" come or go anywhere? When was the last time you used the word "boom" in a sentence? This movie would have made more sense if it was about a broom, honestly. The sports comedy film staring Kevin James should have been funny, but it just wasn't his finest work (correct me if I'm wrong). I'm not saying it's 100 percent because of the word "boom" but... I'm not saying it's not. 8. Death by China Once upon a time, Death by Chocolate was my favorite ice cream flavor. It was so good and filled with bits of chocolate swirled into chocolate ice cream and, in some cases, topped with chocolate sauce and flakes of heaven. This is not Death by China. Have you even heard of the movie? Probably not. That's because it has nothing to do with chocolate. To be fair, the film does address the economic problem facing America in relation to trade with China, but if you have little interest in that subject then the title isn't exactly going to sway your decision to the theater. 7. The Babymakers There's nothing grosser than imagining the actual act of "making a baby." What does that even mean? Like in an Easy-Bake oven, or something? And even if we are talking about, you know, the act, why say it in that way? I know it's hard to believe, but some people are really grossed out by babies. And calling a movie a "baby-maker" is quite possibly the easiest way to repulse such people. Cut to the actual plot of the movie, which isn't about making a baby, but rather about stealing a deposit from a sperm bank. It would probably be more appealing if it were called Sperm Bank Robbers. 6. Fun Size Before you go there, no, this movie is not about dwarves. But see! That's what happens when you name a movie Fun Size. What was the point of that? Who is going to guess that this movie isn't about Little People, but rather about a Halloween party that goes awfully awry? No one, that's who. 5. Darling Companion I can appreciate a cheesy movie title as much as the next sap, but let's be real with this one. First off, never put "darling" in a title. It's a weird word and makes you think of literally nothing. It has no feeling. Then you've got "companion," so it's either about a dog or a person, right? Right. So it's about a dog and a man and a death and Diane Keaton. All the puzzles to a perfect tearjerker, except there's no covering up the sad fact that this title is pretty much the most awkward thing ever. 4. War of the Buttons Forget the fact that every time I try to type out this movie, War of the BOTTOMS just happened to come out instead, and let's focus on the fact that there once was actually a movie about a button war. Like, what?!?!. But this movie isn't actually about buttons (which in a way, makes it even more wacky). It's about Nazis and children and the war. So, you figure this one out. 3. Man on a Ledge This isn't the first time this movie has taken heat for its hilariously demented title. The funniest part is that pretty much the entire movie is about watching a man on a freakin' ledge. So, it's not like we're being lied to or anything. And it wasn't the worst movie in the world, either. It had some action and twists and hot bodies and drama. There could have been plenty of other ways to describe the flick – ways that likely would have drawn in more people. But alas. 2. A Bag of Hammers Sometimes I like to call annoying people "tool bags." They're not quite tools, but the bag that holds the tools. It's not worse than a tool, but it's not exactly better, either. This is how I feel about "A Bag of Hammers." Anyone out there want to watch a movie about some hammers being held in a bag? The movie is actually about best friends who don't exactly fit in with a "normal" crowd, so they invent their own family, or something. What does it have to do with hammers? Nothing, really. Nothing at all. 1. Bro' Do I really have to explain? [Image Credits: MPI Media Group; Grindstone Entertainment; Sony Pictures Classics; YouTube; Paramount Pictures; Columbia Pictures; Summit Entertainment; The Weinstein Company; Lionsgate; Millennium Entertainment] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Les Mis' Stars Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe Get in a (Musical) Bar Fight The 10 Saddest Movie Moments in 2012 'The Impossible' Cast on Recreating a Terrifying Natural Disaster — EXCLUSIVE VIDEO From Our Partners: 12 Funniest Movie Presidents in Film (Moviefone) New ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ Trailer! — Cue Khan Scream (Moviefone)
  • The Maccabeats Are Back – Or a Reason to Listen to 'Candlelight'
    By: Anna Brand Dec 10, 2012
    See, the problem with Hanukkah is that all many of the holiday's songs are really depressing and boring. There are no jingly bells or jolly men in red suits; instead it's all like "Candle candle burning bright / People are sad / Let us mourn / Let us cry / Candle candle burning bright." This is why Jews don't like flaunting their menorahs and stupid chocolate coins. It's why we decorate Christmas trees and buy pine cone-scented candles and listen to Mariah Carey's holiday album on repeat and tell everyone that Elf is our favorite movie, holiday or otherwise. Come December, we need something to make us feel a little cool, and The Maccabeats answered our prayers (sort of). OK, so they may not be responsible for anything as cool as producing a 98 Degrees Christmas CD, but their videos and lyrics and glasses are still fun enough to share with all your friends – Jewish or not. I mean, how can anyone forget "Candlelight," their a cappella version of Taio Cruz's "Dynamite"? Maybe it's not the best Hanukkah video of all time or anything (if you figure out what is, please do share), but when you can happily scream about putting latkes in the air and still sort of tell the real story of the holiday then it's definitely a miracle. And isn't that what Hannukah's all about, anyway? I'm actually still not 100 percent sure, so if someone wants to clue me in that'd be great. This year, The Maccabeats put out another video – and this time, it's an original song, "Shine." I'm not saying it's as catchy as "I won't ask for much this Christmas / I don't even wish for snow / I'm just gonna keep on waiting / Underneath the mistletoe" (currently on repeat, ugh I'm the worst Jew EVER), but I'm also not saying I haven't already memorized the chorus. [Image Credit: YouTube.com] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: The Bright Lights of Hanukkah: The 'Rugrats' Special Hanukkah Begins: A Lesson From The Holiday Armadillo On 'Friends' The Best and Worst TV Episodes of 2012—Staff Picks From Our Partners: 12 Funniest Movie Presidents in Film (Moviefone) New ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ Trailer! — Cue Khan Scream (Moviefone)
  • What Happened to All the Drama 'Nashville' Promised?
    By: Anna Brand Dec 06, 2012
    When buzz of a crazy new country music show "filled with scandal and lies and lovers and alcohol" (OK, and some singing, too) hit the media we were all expecting Country Strong on crack. It was going to be a chance to get Connie Britton back on the small screen doing what she does best: a hair flip with sass and a mean "y'all." Connie and Hayden Panettiere's hatred for one another was going to be the new it rivalry, mixed with drunk people and shady politics. It was going to be the sh*t. And it started out with a loud glittery bang! It really did. The first episode covered all its bases: Love triangles, rehab stints, family dramz, sketchy politics, and ass-short skirts. It had just about every obnoxious country cliché squeezed into the premiere – enough to give it some real juicy promise. The pilot also laid the ground work for the big rivalry between Rayna James (Britton's seasoned country professional) and Juliette Barnes (Panettiere's Taylor Swift wannabe) that the show's ubiquitous promotional posters told us would be the lynchpin of all the crooning. After that though, it all just sort of… floundered. Not even the mid-season finale (the new TV buzzword for the last episode of the year) delivered the climax we needed, or any climax at all. And so here we are, left severely blue-balled and waiting for someone to finish the job. Here's how they should have gotten us off: The Rayna and Deacon Story What Happened: Ray and Dea have a love thicker than Nicki Minaj's thighs. Years ago, before Ray married Teddy, the two of them were hot and heavy and ever since, he visits drug store after drug store, sniffing hair spray and wondering what if. There seems to be a gray area, too, during the time Ray's been married where the two of them maybe shared a kiss or boob grab or two. We're reminded week after week that the chemistry is still there, but nothing comes of it. We leave off with Ray and Dea both getting separate offers to go on tour – and face the same secret dilemma of whether to leave each other. Again. What Should Have Happened: How about a kiss (with tongue!) for starters? I didn't need a full blown shag-in-the-Bluebird-bathroom, but something. Anything! I get Rayna James is "the good one" with "good morals" and "good hair," but that would only make the illicit act that much more exciting. Remember Dawson's Creek where Dawson's wholesome, sweetheart of a mom had that shocking affair with her co-anchor and he found out? No? Well, that happened in the first episode and it immediately gave the show some slutty flavor. A blow-out fight between Rayna and Teddy that revealed the details of her intimate relationship with Dea would have sufficed, but no. All we got were hints at the past and that one time she thought about his naked body… in a dream. Not cool. The Scarlett-Gunnar-Avery Story What Happened: This "love triangle" was one big yawn. Basically, Scarlett and Avery were a couple, until Avery's jealousy and '90s choker necklace got in the way and they ended it. Scarlett and Gunnar both work at the Bluebird waiting tables with no real future until we discover that TA-DA! Scar's "poems" are just like song lyrics and you know what? She can sing, too! What are the odds? So, she and Gunnar start singing together at the Bluebird and decided to team up for some sketchy record label deal and of course fall in love. Gunnar and Avery throw some punches and eventually, Gunnar confesses his love to Scar and lands a sloppy kiss on her delusional mouth. What Should Have Happened: Gunnar kissing Scarlett at the end of the episode was fantastic. They gave him some balls and let him run with it. Unfortunately, Scarlett is still the worst actress on TV history and can't formulate a sentence that doesn't sound both out of breath and restricted by gross amounts of saliva (maybe it's because her lips are trapped in a perma-pout). Their kiss lasted all of 4 seconds before she totally wigs out and backs away like she's just been attacked by Old Man Watty White. The two were in an empty Bluebird when this happened, which could have made for a perfect throw-girl-aggressively-on-table-and-make-out scene. Dear Lord, let us please see Scar's wild side sometime soon. The Teddy and Peggy Story What Happened: Teddy and Peggy are connected by some bizarre money smuggling incident from years ago. He needed money, so she helped him steal from the bank. They've kept this secret for ages, not even telling their spouses, but for some reason, Peggy reappears during Teddy's Mayoral campaign and stirs the pot. The meet on an abandoned dock in the middle of the night because they are begging to get caught, share some PG hugs and shoulder pats, get photographed, and basically make some gossip bloggers very happy to publish the pictures. Peggy runs over to find Teddy in a panic, but he doesn't have the energy for her games so he dismisses the poor girl. She's then found being rolled out to an ambulance after reportedly overdosing on pain killers. Womp womp. No one cares. What Should Have Happened: Where is the illegitimate child, I ask! This is prime. Strange woman shows up for literally the least sexiest reason of all time: money laundering. Give me a break, will you? The saddest part of this wasted opportunity is that Peggy seemed like the perfect freak. The kind of freak that would walk around in dominatrix gear under her pants suit and give BJs in a crowded parking lot. She was totally off her rocker – and that's why she should have revealed that she has 25 children (or one, how about just one?) and Teddy is the father. Damn, that'd be good. This would have given a reason to run back to Deacon before Teddy actually took the paternity test and discovered that of course he's not the father. Peggy is a psycho. Remember? The Lamar Story What Happened: Lamar is Rayna's big shot father, the one who runs the political world of Nashville and has boat loads of money. He's the one that convinces Teddy to run for mayor and sucks the life out of everyone who comes in contact with him. He is the evil one. He has spats with Rayna and schemes with Teddy to protect all the lies he's told to everyone – ultimately putting him before his own daughter. He has gray hair and he's balding. What Should Have Happened: First of all, a toupee. After that, how about a family secret or two to keep us interested? OK, so we find out that Lamar cheated on Rayna's mom or her mom cheated on him at one point. But so what? We don't know their mother at all. We've never even met her. Who the hell cares? There needed to be another huge family reveal that proved why Rayna was so angry at her father, why she would never ask him for money and why her weird sister follows him around like he's the King of Sonic. Maybe he made her get an abortion? Maybe he stole money from her tour? Maybe he's been wearing a mask and it's actually been Deacon this whole time? Any of those would have done it. The Rayna and Juliette Story What Happened: This was supposed to be the show's bread and butter. ABC's own Gwyneth Paltrow-Leighton Meester Country Strong-esque war. When they first met, the rivalry was hotter than when Joseph Gorden-Levitt finally took off his shirt. They were like two sexy vixens going after each other and after the same man: Deacon. Rayna went to her old pal's home one day talking smack about the little slore and we see that Juliette is actually tangled in his sheets upstairs at that very moment, soaking her words (and Dea's sweat) all in. After that, the two kind of go their separate ways. Ray deals with her d-bag husband while J bangs some other randos and struggles with her strung out mom who made her eat dry pancake mix once. It's not until the end when Ray and J are forced to take the stage together. After a few lame digs at each other (and by lame it was essentially Ray stating that Juliette is just too young to be taken seriously on such a big stage which is, um, true), the two find a way to work it out. Yawn. Take the stage in tight dresses and sway together like it's one big f*cking Lifetime special. Yawn. Not only is their rivalry not even a rivalry, but now they're both probably going to go on tour together and Ray is going to become her new "mom" or something. A mom who would make her real pancakes. What Should Have Happened: Duh. A cat fight! Where were those claws that ABC promised? Didn't they air Dynasty all those years ago? Where was all the sh*t talking and scandal and man-stealing? It's like Rayna didn't even care that Juliette totally boned her soulmate. Not only did she not care, but she sang with her and held her arm and swayed in slow motion. Wouldn't a good ole' bitch-slapping be nice? A little hair pulling? Something that warranted a police intervention, at the very least? This was supposed to be the battle of the season and not only wasn't it a battle, it was barely even a tiff. [Image Credit: ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Nashville' Recap: Battle of the Bronzed Arms and Gold Glitter 'Nashville' Recap: Private Jets and Cougar Bars 'Nashville' Recap: Secrets, Bribes, and Skinny Dipping From Our Partners: Harry Styles Spotted Outside Taylor Swift’s Hotel Room The Morning After Their Date Night (PHOTOS) Fall Bikini Bodies: The Good, The Great, The OMG (GALLERY)
  • 'Nashville' Mid-Season Finale Recap: Dry Pancake Mix
    By: Anna Brand Dec 05, 2012
    Last week on 'Nashville', the battle of the gold glitter and sprayed hair reached quite the peak. Rayna and Juliette both strutted toned legs and curvy mid-sections under bright lights and belted out a song that may or may not have been entirely about Deacon. It was all so insestual, especially when the supposed enemies actually hugged it out, in slow motion. Okay, so the slowmo was just an ABC effect, but STILL. It was truly bizarre that the two seemed to have put all their drama behind them, especially in a series where clichés are its thing. But anyway, the night is young and there's more drama to be had. So let's just get right to it, shall we? Scandal Crashed the Party Rayna skipped along into her dressing room, her dress ridding up her shaved thighs as her minions followed suit, singing her praises on the duet with Juliette. Everyone was in a cheery, a champagne-swigging kind of mood. Even edgy new producer Liam McGuinness was warmly welcomed by the record label. Yep, spirits were higher than Ray's hair… that is until death's bitch, Teddy, walked in. Suddenly, the air grew thick and everyone fled the room. Teddy did not crack a smile. Not even a tiny one. He told his wife that no, he did not want to celebrate her amazing night. He did not want to congratulate her on getting her new album. He wanted to take her home by the wrist, sit her down, and explain the leaked photos of him and "Peggy" that may lose him the campaign. And that is exactly what he did. Rating: 9/10, because Teddy would steal Ray's thunder without second thought. Is he not the biggest twerp on TV in a long, long time, or WHAT? No Sex Until Marriage, OKAY? Juliette looked all fresh-faced and high school cheerleader-y when her football star virgin boyfriend ran in the door with a crumpled newspaper. "Nashville loves you!" Mr. Mancandy shared. This got J so hot and bothered she flung her stained zip-up off her shoulders and invited him in. To her disappointment, he kept denying her advances, Are we really to believe that the vixen would be just fine and dandy with this? I expected her to get her daggers out, tie his hands down and force herself upon him. That would seem more in character. Just a few weeks ago, J was literally throwing herself at men (yes, that actually did happen) and seduced them into bed. This is just like the time on Felicity when sex-crazed Elena stayed with Tracy even though he said he wanted to wait until marriage and she was all like OKAY COOL WHATEVER. Rating: 3/10, because, UGH, it just doesn't make any sense at all. New Opportunities For All! Remember how Deacon was sort of on the road to recovery after his rehab stint, but then we were led to believe that maybe he was going to relapse (and we were secretly praying for that to happen, because lord knows this show needs more real drama)? WELL, looks like he got a ticket out. D's former band friends, The Rebel Kings, approached him about joining them on tour. It would be a chance for him to get away from the Bluebird, if only for a bit, and play some new stuff. But Deacon isn't sure what he wants. "What's holding you back?" his pals asked. Apparently all his former druggie musicians also spent some time in rehab and they all flaunted pretty necklaces that said so. SO it wasn't that. But of course, it was Ray. Deacon couldn't imagine a life without her in the picture. Meanwhile, our dear, sweet Scarlett faced major decisions of her own. Based on one performance ever EVER on a microphone, someone wants her to be the lead singer of some band. It's really quite realistic, don't you think? And like uncle like niece, or something, Scar wasn't sure what to do either – but this time because of Gunnar. Could she really bear to leave the man she loves and who loves her back? And then there's Rayna, because why not make it a trifecta? The lady of the hour. Or every hour, for that matter. The record label loved her performance with J so much that they offered them a co-headlining tour. Ray looked down, remembered her no-so-perfect life, a life without Coach Taylor, lifted her head and gave an approving nod. She really just might go. Rating: 10/10, because everyone, and I mean everyone just happened to get essentially the same offer at the same time. How Nashville. Not-So-Sweet Choir Girl Okay, so even if we were to believe for one nano second that Juliette would stay in a committed relationship to virgin football man, there is NO WAY ON EARTH that she would not only go to church with his family, but perform in front of their choir, too. She is the opposite of wholesome, although I do give her props for trying to pull herself together. Sort of. But when J swayed back and forth in that church house, with the light of Satan God shining from above, nothing seemed sacred about it at all. Rating: 2.5/10, because you can't just go changing around character in a flash and expect us all to believe it. I'm not sorry. "It's Always Been Over" Bad couples are just falling apart left and right on this show – and it's amazing. First up: Ray and Teddy. These two have been on the rocks since the dawn of Deacon's 5 o'clock shadow. She knew she made a mistake the second she turned her back on his alcoholic scruff. Hell, even Old Man Watty knew it (and he don't know much these days). But no, this spat wasn't about their unresolved love, it was about Teddy being a stupid idiot and getting caught hugging "Peggy" something or other out in the public eye. Rayna went to see Teddy's opponent who was hoarding the photos to take a look for herself. And she was not happy with what was in the yellow folder. Hugging, closeness, shoulder rests – it was all in there. She stormed her bedazzled cowboy boots right into her dad's office, where her husband just so happened to be, and demanded an explanation. He said he would address everyone with the deets as soon as the photos were made public. And just like magic, they appeared on the good ole' Internet. Time to fess up. Teddy came clean to Ray about all the money-stealing and shadiness. And while Rayna's hair is shiny and her voice kind, there was no way she could ever trust him again. She got in her car and drove to "Peggy's" house to confront the ho. But it was too late. "Peggy" had overdosed on pain killers and was being pulled into the ambulance. Womp womp. But that's not all. Gunnar and his girlfriend whose name still does not exist or at least I don't care to remember, broke up. It's not even worth going into, considering we all knew she was a stupid filler girl, just a placeholder until the Scar-Gunnar storyline could progress. And now it's here. GunGun turned right around, marched over to the Bluebird, and landed a gross one on Scar who gave her typical holding-my-breath wide-eyed stare and ran away. Rating: 10/10, because the demise of already-failed relationships is better than sex scandal in any dysfunctional southern drama. A Casual Drop-By Deacon stopped by Juliette's house to, I don't know, catch up? Their relationship is so under-developed it's confusing as to what the show is trying to accomplish. Are they friends? F*ck buddies? Co-workers? A mixed bag of psychotic nuts? Dea handed J a note from her mother. Apparently, he had been checking up on her since they're so close as all, having met once. But J didn't want to see it. She didn't want anything to do with anything her mother may have touched. You see, when J was just a little thing, she was ashamed of her mom. The way she'd hang around when her friends were over. The way she made her eat dry pancake mix (WTF?!). The way she had to act like a grown up before she could fit into a push-up bra. She especially didn't want to hear advice from the man risking an opportunity for a woman who's been playing him since pre-curling iron days. And so they parted ways and Dea went over to see The Gypsy Kings and agreed to the tour. He said goodbye. Rating: 1/10, because there's no reason these two need to stay connected at all anymore, unless it's illicit – then, I'll take it. Oh, The Cliffhanger Don't get your hopes up, my friends. It was more like a baby sand slope than a cliff, if anything. Juliette was all faklempt after her football star boyfriend's mom told her that she'd never be in their family. There was no way they'd let scum like her into their perfect, Christian home. J shrugged off her insecurities and kept her head high, but she was clearly hurt. Perhaps even more hurt than the day she had to eat dry pancake mix (not over it). But instead of sulking forever and fading into the background (as if), J took matters into her own conniving hands – the hands we've grown to love. In an attempt to either f*ck with his mother or deflower the poor lad, she asks him to marry her. Rating: 4/10, because J may be desperate for some real love, but she's not stupid. She'd want a ring. SO, will he say yes? Will we finally get to see his naked body? Will Ray and Dea and J and Teddy and "Peggy" and Old Man Watty and GunGun and Scar (and not Avery, because who cares?) live to make more shameful choices? I sure hope so. What about you? Let us know in the comments below! [Image Credit: Chris Hollo/ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Nashville' Recap: Battle of the Bronzed Arms and Gold Glitter 'Nashville' Recap: Private Jets and Cougar Bars 'Nashville' Recap: Secrets, Bribes, and Skinny Dipping From Our Partners: Harry Styles Spotted Outside Taylor Swift’s Hotel Room The Morning After Their Date Night (PHOTOS) Fall Bikini Bodies: The Good, The Great, The OMG (GALLERY)
  • 'Apt. 23' Recap: Flamenco Boots and Martini Glasses
    By: Anna Brand Dec 04, 2012
    It's been many moons since we last got our fix of the Big Bad B. When we left off, June was emotional Sacagawea-ing through Chloe's family's Thanksgiving dinner (in a wheelchair, no less), and Dawson was harshly doling out food at a fancy volunteer soup kitchen. It was a holiday where no one was thankful, no one gave kisses, and, in fact, our key players grew more selfish. Each and every one of them. It was glorious, and this week's episode kept in stride. We started off with a flashback, but of course! June was just named one of the top analysts at some goatee-style company, and she was as gleeful as creepy naked neighbor Eli on a humid day. But she didn't get there easily, we found out – and it had to do with pouring liquid on Cruela's face, or something. But more on that later. See, the B thought June had a big problem. Every time she'd come back into their apartment, June was being all gluttonous, eating three meals a day. Gross. Not to mention her sagging boobs. Gross-gross. Meanwhile, June was secretly watching her psychotic roommate closer than ever, and noticed a few red flags of her own. One being the constant partying and drinking and slutty tops and dirty hair. So, they each decided to have an intervention of sorts for one another. It all seemed mature, really. June was going to get off her ass and try to get a new job (with her face). And Chloe... well, she was just going to continue on her merry cocktail way. The frenemies hit the town in trashy bedazzled dresses and attempted to pick up finance dudes at some d-bagery happy hour joint. June tried to talk to a few in her best get-me-a-job-I'm-cute voice, but to no avail. So, she split. She gave up in moments – as non-New Yorkers do – and turned around to head home to what could only be a half-eaten pizza. Chloe, on the other hand, had no problem luring in balding tools in suits. There was talk of Candy Land and Monopoly and other miscellaneous board games until the B ended up straddling a suit while holding a knife on the floor of the bar's kitchen. It's called "networking," she explained. And it worked! Chloe got June an interview. She did it! Being a slut really does get you ahead! Her lover, "Trey," was so smitten with her, he called his dad (the boss) to interview June. And he gave her the job right on the spot – granted Chloe continue to bone his son. Only problem: "Trey" wasn't exactly… together. He was… slow. You see, he had a head injury and therefore couldn't communicate. Period. Something was fishy, and no one in the room liked it. June ran home to get to the bottom of it, and Dawson informed her that, yes, Chloe occasionally gets fooled by "martini goggles." It has always been a problem for the B, and for the rest of us. But for June, this was her chance at freedom. The only thing getting in June's way was Chloe's sobriety – which, luckily, is something hardly ever seen. But still, she needed Chloe to stay sloshed at all times so that she wouldn't find out the hunk she thought she was bending over backwards for (literally) had some sort of bizarre disability. So, June did the only thing anyone would do in this situation: she roofied her roommate. Chloe became "party girl" instantly, and the charade of "Trey" lived on. But all demented good things must come to an end, as they say. Flash-forward to the opening scene where June was being congratulated. Chloe appeared from the Devil's mouth and waltzed right up to "Trey," sober, and planted a wet one on his unaware mouth. A confused June didn't know what to say. Turns out, Dawson filled Chloe in on her martini goggles. And you know what? She didn't care at all. Not one bit. Hell, she was just happy to have gotten laid. As for Dawson, he had quite the bumpy ride. You see, he was going to be on Dancing With the Stars! Okay, so not officially, but you know, for the sake of this fiction-meets-reality sitcom. He was giddy as ever when he sashayed into the B's apartment, flaunting Flamenco shoes and an eye sparkle. It was like the time he so proudly sported cargo pants and flannel in, well, every episode of Dawson's Creek. He even started bonding with June's mom via Skype over all the dancers and how he'd get ahead during the season. No. 1: get a catchphrase ("James likey!" was the frontrunner). But things didn't go as he expected. When Dawson found out his partner was a notorious failure, he nearly burst into tears. He needed to get out of this mess if he wanted a chance at winning DWTS. Luckily, June's mom had a plan. A plan to rid his fool of a partner for good. Let's just say, a call was made, and all was right in the world again. [Image Credit: ABC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Apt. 23' Recap: The Emotional Sacagawea Apt. 23' Recap: Dawson Leery Is Sexiest Man Alive?! 'Apt. 23' Recap: What Dawson Leery Fears From Our Partners: Kate Middleton Pregnant: Could Her Royal Baby Be Crowned Queen Diana? (EXCLUSIVE GUEST BLOG) Taylor Swift, Harry Styles Sing Karaoke, Hold Hands in New York City (PHOTOS)
  • Don't Hold Your Breath for the 'Friday Night Lights' Movie — EXCLUSIVE
    By: Anna Brand Nov 29, 2012
    After we said our goodbyes to Coach Taylor, Tami Taylor, Landry, Riggins and the rest of the Friday Night Lights crew during the series finale in 2011, we were all prepared to live a less inspired life with cloudy eyes and empty hearts. But then the unthinkable happened. Connie Britton came out with her even-keeled voice and perfectly wavy locks and delivered news so thrilling it reversed Jason Street's paralysis. Okay, well not quite, but BASICALLY. Tami Taylor was quoted by Us Weekly divulging that a FNL movie is "happening for realsies…I think it's really a matter of…getting everyone's busy schedules aligned and making it happen," she said. And we believed her. Why wouldn't we? At this point, we felt we couldn't lose – that this was really going to happen. Maybe Jason's baby Noah would be the star football player at his high school. Maybe Lyla Garrity would be living on the plot of land Tim Riggins swore he'd own one day. Maybe Julie would be a lost, strung out hooker. The possibilities were endlessly glorious. But that's all come to an abrupt halt. Hollywood.com recently spoke with Zach Gilford, the lovable and essential character Matt Saracen, who said that Connie is a big, fat liar the reunion movie is essentially not happening. At all. "I've never heard a single word about it except for people asking me about it. It doesn't even really make sense. I can't even think of what the story is. He moves away, everybody's grown up. I mean I could see him being somewhere, but then it wouldn't be any of the other people," Gilford said. While the star's knowledge – or lack thereof – of Friday Night Lights flick No. 2 isn't entirely promising, there's still a chance we're not sh*t out of luck… at least in the very distant future. Right? RIGHT? Unfortunately, it seems as far as Gilford is concerned, it'll never happened; and therefore, we should probably all just end our lives now. In fact, Tami Taylor already beat us to it. Reporting by Aly Semigran [Image Credit: NBC] Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl More: 'Friday Night Lights' Creator Slams Mitt Romney 'Friday Night Lights' Cast vs. 'Battleship' Aliens 'Friday Night Lights' Star Kyle Chandler Joins Bin Laden Movie