Author

Brian Moylan
After getting his master's degree in poetry, Senior Writer Brian Moylan started writing about television and pop culture for Gawker, The Guardian, The Washington Blade and a few other reputable publications. Brian has an honorary PhD in “Jersey Shore” studies from the University of Chicago. He's shared his often hilarious views about the tube on VH1, MSNBC, TV Guide Channel, MTV (Canada), BBC radio, and NPR. He can usually be found at his apartment in New York yelling at the TV and dodging calls from Real Housewives. He is a Taurus and likes long walks on the beach, fried chicken, and almost every reality television program ever created (especially “The Swan”).
  • 'Big Brother' Recap: McKayla Is Not Impressed
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 13, 2012
    There is no greater feeling in the entire world than taking a nap on the couch. Just letting the soft folds of fabric and cushioning envelop and warm your body as your mind slowly begins to forget about everything that has happened during the day and you are just carted off into a state of restorative bliss. Ahh, a couch nap. Oh Snap! Suddenly Julie Chen's giant head is on your television waking you up and ordering you around. Holy crap! How awful. It's like if someone threw a flying screaming monkey at you first thing in the morning and suddenly you're wrestling with a rabid primate before you've even brushed your teeth. That's how last night's Big Brother started, with Julie Chen serving as the screaming monkey and telling all the houseguests that they were going to eliminate someone a day early. And the poor crew. Dan was asleep on the couch, Ian was upstairs having some "private time" thinking about Ashley in the HoH bedroom, and Shane was doing something that doesn't involve pants. What a way to catch them! But really the whole thing couldn't have been that dramatic. They already had the veto competition and they knew who was on the block and probably who everyone was going to vote to keep. Then we have to watch them duke it out in the Veto competition, which was actually surprisingly difficult and quite genius for BB. The guests had two platforms, one with a button, and one with a magnetized puzzle board. They had to hit the button and it would magnetize the board for 20 seconds so the houseguests could solve it. But, before the 20 seconds was up, they had to push the button again or else the board would demagnetize and they would lose all their work. This was tough. Shockingly, Shane was the only one to figure out that he should put his puzzle pieces in order and then start with the button pushing and putting the puzzle on the board. This was the first smart decision Shane has made since he stopped wearing that pink tank top! He wins the Veto and destroys Dan's plan to get him out of the game. That was the only smart plan too, because getting rid of the smelly ghost that has whisked around the house for an entire season isn't going to make things any easier to be a Quack Packer. OK, now we have to talk about the best part of the whole evening: Shane and Danielle's trip to visit the U.S. Women's Gymnastics team. This was so amazing because it was just more incredibly awkward than an sitting down with your best friend after you slept with her boyfriend. It was just crazy. Shanielle (which would be their Us Weekly couple name) have been trapped in that damn house all summer so they haven't seen the Olympics and have no clue who these girls are. They know they have to be excited, so they're like, "Wow, this is awesome. You guys must be great. Who are you?" These five famous ladies haven't had that kind of reaction in quite some time. Meme queen McKayla Maroney twisted up her face and snooted about the place because these yahoos had no idea who they were. And it flowed in both directions. Shane was like, "Which of us do you like the best?" Shane asked and our little McKayla said, "Oh, you. Because you're the only ones we've seen. We've kind of had a busy summer, you know, training and going to London and winning a gold medal and doing media appearances and coming back to a nation of adoring fans and meeting with sponsors and designing our line of workout clothes and posing for our picture on the Corn Flakes box. We don't really have three days a week to devote to watching reality television programs. And, you know, we're all a little bit more into Pretty Little Lairs anyway." Seriously, it was one of the most strangely awkward things I have seen on television in all my years. I loved it more than watching someone stick a landing. Back in the house, Shane takes himself off the block (duh) and Ian puts up Danielle. This is a really bad move. Now, I know that Dan has everyone in there convinced he's taking them to the final two, but shouldn't Ian have figure out that he might be lying to him? Doesn't he think that the bond between Dan and Danielle might be stronger than the bond between him and Danielle? Also, doesn't he realize that the only person who could beat him in the final two is the only person in there who has played a better game than he is? That's Dan. If I were Ian (and thank god I am not because I can't do long division) I would have nominated Dan and used the "you put me up last week," excuse. Then I would have convinced Shane that Dan was the only think to keep him from winning the big prize. Then Shane votes against Dan, Danielle throws her vote away on exorcising a ghost, and I (as Ian) break the tie and boot Dan. But no, that does not happen. Danielle goes up which just solidifies that the Ouija boards that the cast have been using to talk to this red haired ghost are no longer necessary. She blusters out the door, it slams behind her and Chenbot is like "Where is the evicted houseguest? I can't see her." "I'm right here, Jooooooollliiiieeeee. OOOoooooooOOOoohhhhhhh." Now it is time for the HoH competition where they have to answer true or false questions about a series of pictures they were shown earlier. It's a shockingly tight race and I somehow find myself rooting for Dan. No, self, do not root for Dan. He has already won. Root for Ian. Well, Ian doesn't win the HoH because he can't play. After a tiebreaker, Danielle wins. So, who is she going to put up? It doesn't matter. Ian is going up for sure and if he doesn't win the veto, I think he's going home. I mean, this week entirely depends on who wins the veto. If Danielle puts Ian and Shane on the block (which I think is likely) and Ian wins the Veto, he takes himself off the block and Dan goes up. Then Ian is the only person casting the vote, so he determines who goes home. The only way the veto winner doesn't decide who goes home is if Danielle wins, but then she still kind of does, because whoever she didn't nominate gets to vote, so she's still deciding. Yes, it's all up to the Veto. Let's hope Ian can pull it out. #TeamIan! Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan [Photo Credit: CBS] More: 'Big Brother' Recap: The End Is Near 'Big Brother' Recap: Welcome to the Dan Show 'Big Brother': And the Evicted Houseguest Is...
  • How Bravo Can Make Its 'Heathers' Remake Tolerable
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 12, 2012
    When I saw the headline in The Hollywood Reporter that Bravo was going to remake '80s cult classic movie Heathers, I involuntarily made the same choking, wretching, gasping sound that Heather Chandler made when Veronica gave her a Drain-O Smoothie. Why does Hollywood have to mess with everything that is sacred and amazing? And why do they keep calling it "original" programming when everything is based on an old movie, a canceled show, a long-forgotten novel, or a repurposed reality program? That doesn't sound very original. But, yes, this Heathers remake is going to happen. Andy Cohen and his tree full of magical cookie-baking elves over there at Bravo are trying to get into the scripted TV business and have greenlit (greenlighted?) this show by The Big C and Sex and the City scribe Jenny Bicks. It also has four other dramedies in the works. That's a lot of cookies in that there tree! As for Heathers, it takes place 20 years after Christian Slater tried to blow up the school and Veronica returns to Sherwood with a daughter of her own. Now Veronica's daughter has to deal with The Ashleys, a power clique in their own right who are the daughters of the Heathers who didn't die at Veronica's hand. I'm sorry, but I am naturally skeptical, especially when TV execs are messing around with one of the beloved gems from my formative years. (And also, how are they going to have so many fake suicides for seasons of this show?) I'm also skeptical because this sounds pretty much like every other ABC Family show that is already on the air. It's not that there's anything necessarily wrong with ABC Family, it's just that the Real Housewives and Top Chef fans out there, like myself, don't necessarily want to watch ABC Family. Here are some things that Bravo can do to keep their brand identity and create a show that I'll actually want to watch: Creative Casting: OK, Winona Ryder has to be in this. What else is she doing? It's not like she's turning down scrips left and right or anything. She doesn't even have a reality show. (OH! A reality TV tie in just like a real life Comeback. Yes, please.) The only way that Veronica will be the same Veronica is if we get the same Veronica. Also, I think Bravo owes it to Real Housewife of Beverly Hills and former Disney star Kim Richards to cast her as one of the old Heathers. Sure, she's a little dodgy these days and definitely seen better days like back in the '80s when she was gorgeous and popular. If that doesn't sound like an arc for TV, then what is? Add a Gay: I know a boy named Ashley. A mean gay boy named Ashley, nonetheless. It wouldn't be Bravo without at least one homosexual. Catfights Galore: In the movie there was some shade throwing and a few murders, but there weren't really any good fights. A war of words is what defines the different episodes of each Real Housewives franchise. Without them, we'd be lost. Think more Dynasty. The Wardrobe Department: These girls better be wearing some clothes! Sherwood is out in the middle of the suburbs, but these girls have Net-A-Porter, they can order some cutting-edge fashion. They better be dressed better than the girls who gossip, or I am going to be seriously pissed. Sex Appeal: There is going to have to be a hot, shirtless guy in every episode. Maybe Veronica has a gorgeous nudist neighbor who is always popping by to give sage advice and flex his muscles. Maybe there is a comely gym teacher who doesn't like to wear a tank top. Who knows, make it happen. Forget It: Sure, there is nothing new under the sun, but do we really have to mess with Heathers, something that was already perfect? Why not just make up a new high school drama? Maybe Bravo should just can the Heathers name and go with something else. Maybe that's just best. Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan More: Movie's 8 Meanest Onscreen Bullies Christian Slater and Winona Ryder Reunite for 'Heathers' Sequel Ryder's Heathers set for TV From Our Partners: Bill and Giuliana Rancic Share First Photo of Baby Edward Duke — PHOTO (Celebuzz) Exposed: The Vicious Tweets Which Sent LeAnn Rimes Over the Edge — EXCLUSIVE (Celebuzz)
  • The Least Normal Things About 'The New Normal': 'Grey Gardens' Edition
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 12, 2012
    NBC's The New Normal is a delightful show about a not very ordinary gay couple trying to have a surrogate daughter with a strange woman who has an oddball child and an unbelievably bigoted (and funny) grandmother. NeNe Leakes is also somehow involved. As much as it would like us to believe that this is the way the world works today, like most Ryan Murphy shows it is a celebration of the oddities within all of us. Therefore this weekly feature is both a celebration (and indictment) of all the abnormality contained within it. Normal: Saying that you have a lazy body and pretending like you exercise more than you do. Not Normal: Saying that you have a lazy body when you actually look like this with your shirt off. Normal: Telling someone their kid broke something at your house. Not Normal: Telling someone their kid wrote on your couch and then also telling them that you are more fit to discipline said kid than they are. Normal: A young girl playing dress up. Not Normal: A young girl playing dress up so she can pretend to be Little Edie from Grey Gardens. (Also abnormal: how good her impersonation is.) Normal: Having pornographic material to help provide inspiration while giving a sperm sample. Not Normal: Having your pornographic material be a Kevin Bacon poster to provide said inspiration. Normal: Meeting a guy in a bar. Not Normal: The absolute impossibility of a nebbishy dork and an image-obsessed queen getting together at a gay bar. Bryan wouldn't give David the time of day at a gay bar. He'd run off with his twink friends and giggle about how awful his clothes and glasses are. Also, what year was that? Bananarama? How old are these guys supposed to be? Normal: Talking on the phone while you pee. Not Normal: Talking on the phone while you pee and being interrupted by some insulting white lady who calls you a racist name and not getting up and punching her in the damn head. Normal: A plaid blazer. Not Normal: This plaid blazer. Normal: Longing after your mis-spent youth. Not Normal: Longing after your mis-spent youth when you're only in your early 30s. Seriously, these two are not On Golden Pond stop treating them like they're ancient. Normal: A guest room. Not Normal: A guest house! Which is immaculately decorated and has a cotton candy machine. Is this even a thing? Who has a guest house on their property? Normal: A kid making fun of you. Not Normal: A kid making fun of you for sounding like Kate Hepburn. What kid gets a Kate Hepburn reference? Normal: Pretty girls on TV. Not Normal: Pretty girls on TV caressing dolphins. Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan [Photo Credit: NBC] More: 'The New Normal': A Deep Dive Ryan Murphy's 'The New Normal' Protested by One Million Moms First Look: Ryan Murphy's Sitcom 'The New Normal' From Our Partners: Bill and Giuliana Rancic Share First Photo of Baby Edward Duke — PHOTO (Celebuzz) Exposed: The Vicious Tweets Which Sent LeAnn Rimes Over the Edge — EXCLUSIVE (Celebuzz)
  • CBS Tries to Save Its Sunday Schedule, but Everything Is Still Too Crowded
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 11, 2012
    There is nothing worse than sitting down at your DVR to watch Alicia Florrick mug the courtroom on The Good Wife and instead seeing a pair of color-coded reality contestants running across an exotic location. Yes, once again, it seems football has run rough shod over CBS' Sunday night schedule, screwing with the timing of all of our favorite shows. Thanks to the way that most DVRs are set up, it's likely you'll only be privy to half of a recorded episode — unless you have the wherewithal to tape the show after your must-see series. (And thanks to stupidity optimism, how often do we actually remember to do so?) The frustration is enough to make you madder than a defensive tackle. Finally, CBS is responding and trying to make things easier. On days when there is an NFL double header (those days that always go over) they are time shifting all their programs by 30 minutes. That means 60 Minutes will start at 7:30 PM, Big Brother (and then The Amazing Race when that premieres) will start at 8:30 PM, The Good Wife at 9:30 PM, and The Mentalist at 10:30 PM. This goes into affect starting this Sunday and will be in effect Sept. 16 and 23, Oct. 7 and 21, Nov. 4 and 18, and Dec. 2, 16, and 30 only in Eastern and Central time zones. (On the West Coast, the games start earlier so they don't mess up the prime time schedule.) That means your DVR will start recording at the delayed time and you should get to watch all of Simon Baker's very smart deductions before turning in for the night. While it's great for CBS to try to accommodate everyone, it's still not enough for us to catch all of the shows that we love, both on eye network and others. As I'm sure you know, most DVRs can only tape two shows at a time, and if everything starts at the half hour mark and ends at the half hour mark, that is going to throw your whole DVR into a tizzy. Normally, you could tape The Good Wife and Revenge at 9 PM and then The Walking Dead, which comes back in October, and 666 Park Avenue at 10 PM. Not if the your favorite cuckolded lawyer goes until 10:30. (Are you dizzy yet?) Now you'll have to start canceling and rescheduling every show in your neatly fortified DVR. And that doesn't take into account all the other great Sunday shows that we're trying to cram into an already busy night. It's probably too much to ask CBS to tell the NFL to make sure their games finish at 7 PM on the dot (but to this sports-hating, drama-loving American, that is the only real solution). Moving everything back, while helpful, isn't really the answer. The problem is something the entire broadcast system needs to work on: spreading the love to the rest of the week. The glut of television on Sunday night is absolutely ridiculous — if the schedule weren't so jam-packed, then CBS' concession would be a godsend. Unfortunately, it's not. Every network from the majors (minus NBC, which already consigns its entire evening to sports), PBS, AMC, HBO, Bravo, and every other heavyweight that heaps its best programming on Sunday needs to pay more attention to Tuesday, Wednesday, and that barren wasteland known as Saturday. After all, if you cram everything in on one night, it's not just the viewers who are losing. The networks simply won't be able to attract as many eyes. After all, there is only so much time in the day, and some of us don't want to lose any of it to grown men running with a ball down the field. Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan [Photo Credit: CBS] More: Dear Sunday, Please Stop Hogging All the Good TV Shows Sunday TV is Officially Overloaded: ABC Moves 'Revenge' Fall 2012's Biggest DVR Dilemmas: Which Shows Will You Save?
  • 2012 Emmy Awards: Who Will Win and Who Should Win at the Emmys
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 11, 2012
    Oh, the Emmys. These awards can be so crazy and unpredictable! Haha. Just kidding. That was a joke. The Emmys is sort of like a high school prom — the theme changes slightly every year and there is a different king and queen, but it's always the same party with the same streamers in the same gymnasium. That said, who would ever miss their prom?! Certainly not me, but it does make discerning who is going to be Prom King and Queen — oh, sorry, Best Actor and Actress — kind of easy. And, just like in high school, the person holding the scepter isn't always the one who is most deserving. So, in anticipation of the Awards on Sunday, Sept. 23, here are my picks for who will win... and who should win. I didn't pick a Miss Congeniality, because we all know it would go to Heather Locklear anyway. Best Drama Series Boardwalk Empire Breaking Bad Downton Abbey Game of Thrones Homeland Mad Men Will Win: Breaking Bad: The long reign of Mad Men will probably be coming to an end after four consecutive wins and the Academy will most likely reward this other critic's darling, which has a lot more punch and pizazz that voters usually like. That's what being on meth will do to ya! That is, unless these two AMC shows cannibalize each other's votes and we get another winner. Should Win: Homeland: What this race really needed was some new blood... and there was no show bloodier than the first season of this Showtime hit. Not only was it twisty and unpredictable, it also had amazing performances and told a story that comments on the world we live in now, even a decade after 9/11. Best Comedy Series The Big Bang Theory Curb Your Enthusiasm Girls Modern Family 30 Rock Veep Will Win: Modern Family: There is no doubt, this is everyone's favorite comedy. Even Ann Romney likes it! Even as it ages, there is no beating this crowd-pleaser. Should Win: Girls: I was very skeptical of this HBO comedy when it started and I still can't stand most of the characters that populate Lena Dunham's Brooklyn, but that doesn't mean this show shouldn't be recognized. The season ended up being smart, funny, touching, insightful, and speaking to an audience that is otherwise ignored. This is one of those shows that, looking back, will be hailed as a watershed, and not just because it had a girl running through the streets on crack. Though that does help. Best Leading Actor in a Drama Series Hugh Bonneville, Downton Abbey Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad Michael C. Hall, Dexter Jon Hamm, Mad Men Damian Lewis, Homeland Will Win: Bryan Cranston: He's won every year he's been eligible and with good reason. Walter White is an absolute monster and it takes someone with the skill of Cranston to turn in a nuanced performance without turning him into another hammy version of Scarface. It leaves us all asking, "Malcolm in the where now?" Should Win: Damian Lewis: Speaking of nuanced monsters, did you catch the range of emotions Lewis had to go through as a POW who may also be a secret terrorist? And he's not even an American. Does he get extra credit for the great Mid-Atlantic accent (and the shirtless scenes)? Best Leading Actor in a Comedy Series Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock Don Cheadle, House of Lies Louis C.K., Louie Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory Who Will Win: Louis CK: Wow, most of these nominees are staler than the bag of Bugles that fat Betty Draper left under the couch. Mr. CK ('cause he's nasty) is the only one doing anything exciting or original these days. This will be the ultimate consolation prize for his show not winning any other awards. Who Should Win: None of these other jokers. Best Leading Actress in a Drama Series Kathy Bates, Harry's Law Glenn Close, Damages Claire Danes, Homeland Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men Who Will Win: Claire Danes: Can you say no to Angela Chase, especially with that head of preternaturally shiny hair? (It's so shiny!) But Danes did earn every vote as a trouble plagued CIA analyst who will do anything to stop a man she thinks is a terrorist. Including cussing more than a sailor who stubbed his toe. Who Should Win: Elisabeth Moss: Another season and another great turn for Peggy Olson, especially with her arc allowing her to come into her own and leave Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Pryce. What does this girl gotta do to win an award? Best Leading Actress in a Comedy Series Zooey Deschanel, New Girl Lena Dunham, Girls Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie Tina Fey, 30 Rock Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly Amy Poehler, Parks & Recreation Who Will and Should Win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus: The Academy loves to reward a veteran and, as the only Seinfeld survivor to go on to a successful TV career, Louis-Dreyfus is definitely a vet. But it was her turn as this simultaneously harried and charismatic Vice President that makes her actually deserve this award. Her reading a PSA script from a teleprompter was done as a bit to run with the closing credits, but it was one of the funniest minutes of comedy on the air last year. Best Miniseries or Movie American Horror Story Game Change Hatfields & McCoys Hemingway & Gellhorn Luther Sherlock Who Will Win: American Horror Story: Ryan Murphy scared the bejesus out of all of us. No, it wasn't because of the frights in this horror story, but because the show did everything a TV show shouldn't do: It had a storyline that only lasted one season, it kill off the leads, and it honed a talented acting troupe for seasons to come. His risk should pay off for the ultimate reward. No, I don't mean he'll be visited by a guy in a gimp suit (though he might like that). Who Should Win: Hatfields & McCoys: I'm still not entirely convinced that AHS is a miniseries or movie or if it should be competing in the Best Drama category. If it's not a miniseries, then the statue should go to this crowd-pleaser, which not only brought back the genre as we used to know it, but proved it could be a gigantic hit. Best Leading Actor in a Miniseries or Movie Woody Harrelson, Game Change Clive Owen, Hemingway & Gellhorn Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock: A Scandal in Belgravia (Masterpiece) Idris Elba, Luther Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys Bill Paxton, Hatfields & McCoys Who Will Win: Kevin Costner: The miniseries or movie categories were basically invented so that the Emmys could get movie stars to attend. And it does this with the promise of gold. It probably won't be any different this year than last year when Kate Winslet won. Who Should Win: Idris Elba: Call it the Revenge of Stringer Bell. Best Leading Actress in a Miniseries or Movie Julianne Moore, Game Change Connie Britton, American Horror Story Nicole Kidman, Hemingway & Gellhorn Emma Thompson, The Song of Lunch (Masterpiece) Ashley Judd, Missing Who Will and Should Win: Julianne Moore: With four movie stars in this category, poor Connie Britton (who is quite deserving in her own right) doesn't stand a chance. While Kidman may be the bigger star, it's Moore's stunning transformation into Sarah Palin that should rivet voters. We can almost see her winning from our house. Best Reality Competition The Amazing Race Dancing With The Stars Project Runway So You Think You Can Dance Top Chef The Voice Who Will Win: Amazing Race: Ugh, again! When will it end? Who Should Win: Anyone else: Amazing Race has been a snooze since the Bush Administration, but Academy voters don't know any other shows and think an around the world vacation with their significant other sure looks fun. That's why they keep voting for this. Enough! There are plenty of reality shows on TV — choose someone else! I would go with The Voice, for being the only show to shake up the singing competition formula with any real results. Best Reality Host Tom Bergeron, Dancing With The Stars Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance Phil Keoghan, The Amazing Race Ryan Seacrest, American Idol Betty White, Betty White's Off Their Rockers Who Will Win: Betty White: The Academy thinks she needs one more trophy before her retirement (or something worse). Also, they have absolutely no respect for the reality categories. For shame! Who Should Win: Cat Deeley: If you do not think this leggy Brit who is as quick with a punchline as she is with a compassionate shoulder for contestants to cry on doesn't deserve to win, then you are an idiot with no eyes. There, I said it. Speaking of no eyes, she also chooses all her own outfits and they are often – how should I put this? – unique. We need her to show up on stage wearing one. Best Variety Program The Colbert Report The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Jimmy Kimmel Live! Late Night with Jimmy Fallon Real Time with Bill Maher Saturday Night Live Who Will Win: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: I just got off the phone with 2018 and it's still going to win then too. Just accept it. Who Should Win: Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: You have to appreciate the daffy way he creates viral videos with everything from Barack Obama to the Real Housewives franchise. This is a man who knows that the future of the genre is as much on YouTube as it is on the boob tube. Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad Giancarlo Esposito, Breaking Bad Brendan Coyle, Downton Abbey Jim Carter, Downton Abbey Jared Harris, Mad Men Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones Who Will and Should Win: Giancarlo Esposito: One of the most terrifying villains on television didn't yell and scream and shoot up the place. He took over with quiet determination and a calm exterior that belied a deadly inner life. Esposito's Gus Fring was a study in self-restraint and his end will go down in TV history. Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey Christina Hendricks, Mad Men Christine Baranski, The Good Wife Who Will and Should Win: Christina Hendricks: She's long been known for the curves of her body, but this season, it was the curveballs her character threw when she decided to kick out her husband, take her destiny in her own hands, and finally get herself on equal footing with the men (of course, only by making a horrible sacrifice). She's made her portrayal of one of the most complicated women on TV look absolutely easy, so it's about time she had a busty gold lady of her own. Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Ed O'Neill, Modern Family Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family Ty Burrell, Modern Family Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family Bill Hader, Saturday Night Live Max Greenfield, New Girl Who Will Win: Someone from Modern Family: Just pick one. Does it matter. Maybe Ed O'Neill. Is it his turn yet? Fine, then Ty Burrell. Whatever. Who Should Win: Max Greenfield: It's a hard job stealing a show called The New Girl while having a Y chromosome, but Greenfield's fully-realized Schmidt was the character who audiences really wanted to see, even as they knew he should be stuffing $10s into the douche jar. Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie Julie Bowen, Modern Family Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live Sofia Vergara, Modern Family Kathryn Joosten, Desperate Housewives Who Will Win: Mayim Bialik: Since the boys will be shut out in the acting category, it looks like good old Blossom's work as one of this show's girl geeks is going to get some deserved attention. But look for a possible Kristen Wiig upset for her final season on SNL. Who Should Win: Merritt Wever: She's long been the funniest thing on Nurse Jackie and she should finally get some recognition for a character that is just on the right side of wacky and vulnerable when she needs to be. If she doesn't get nominated more often, the Academy is on more drugs than Jackie. Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie Sarah Paulson, Game Change Frances Conroy, American Horror Story Jessica Lange, American Horror Story Judy Davis, Page Eight (Masterpiece) Mare Winningham, Hatfields & McCoys Who Will and Should Win: Jessica Lange: There is no one we'd rather watch chew the scenery and destroy lives with a syrupy southern accent than Ms. Jessica Lange. Also, remember the rule about giving these trophies to movie stars? Best Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie Ed Harris, Game Change Denis O'Hare, American Horror Story David Strathairn, Hemingway & Gellhorn Martin Freeman, Sherlock: A Scandal in Belgravia (Masterpiece) Tom Berenger, Hatfields & McCoys Who Will Win: Ed Harris: I honestly have no idea on this one, but the fact that Ed Harris has been nominated for an Oscar and is competing in a category for movie stars makes him the best bet. Who Should Win: Denis O'Hare: Between Larry Harvey and his Russell Edgington on True Blood, this hard-working character actor finally deserves to scare up a trophy. Scare up. Get it? Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan [Photo Credit: Wenn] More: 2012 Emmy Awards: See the Full List of Nominees! Emmys 2012: 10 Burning Questions! Emmys 2012: Snubs, Shockers and Surprises!
  • What Jimmy Kimmel Can Learn From Past Emmy Hosts
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 11, 2012
    Hosting an awards show is a thankless job. Even if you do well, it's likely few will really remember you. If you really fudge it up (and you know I didn't really want to say fudge right there), then it can be a stain on the rest of your career. And that is the challenge that Jimmy Kimmel faces when he hosts the 64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards (as they're called on their long-form birth certificate) on Sept. 23. So what advice can we give him? Since we can only judge based on past awards shows, let's look back at the history books. How can he be as successful as some who have gone before him? Sing a Song: Know who kills as a host of the Emmys, Tonys, Grammys, Kid's Choice Awards, Ari Weisenberg's Bar Mitzvah, or any thing that he has ever hosted or will ever host in his whole life? Neil Patrick Harris. What does he always start with? A jazzy song and dance number. Come on, Jimmy, we know that you masterminded "I'm Fudging Ben Affleck." That is exactly what the Emmys need: A viral hit.  Script Something: Remember when the Emmys finally deigned to give the reality show hosts their own category, and in celebration, had all the nominees host the show that year? Yes, it was a national nightmare. They actually came out on stage and said, "Just like in reality, we have nothing planned." For real. Now, that is fudging ridiculous. (This is why you have a bad rap, reality.) And we shall never forgive Tom Bergeron, Heidi Klum, Howie Mandell, Jeff Probst, or Ryan Seacrest for perpetrating this on us. Be Alone: A good host should act like a good boyfriend — he should make you feel like you're the most important person in the world, and, in turn, you should only want to focus on him. Look at how awful it was when the reality group hosted. Then, in 2003, there was like 11 hosts. No, there was lit-rally, to quote Rachel Zoe, 11 hosts. We can't even remember one. And who cares! Just let one guy do it. Don't share, Jimmy. Don't you dare. Host a News Show: There are a surprising number of journalists who have hosted the show: Jane Pauley, Hugh Downs, Bryant Gumbel, Jon Stewart, Chet Huntley. That's weird. So perhaps Kimmel should get a lined notebook and put a card that said "Press" in his hat. Or maybe not. There's a reason why Anderson Cooper doesn't have this gig. Have a Long Skinny Microphone: Television personality Art Linkletter hosted the Emmys twice. Let's remember the good ol' days of mid-century game shows and equip Kimmel with one of those long skinny microphones like on Match Game or one of Linkletter's programs. That would be so rad. Differentiate Yourself: I have a really hard time keeping Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon separate. They're like the Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney of late night TV. And since Fallon just hosted the Emmys in 2010, Kimmel really has to do something different unless he wants the two of them to be the Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato of Emmy Hosts. Fallon did that whole canned opening with the cast of Glee. Please don't do that. Please, no Glee. Come Out: Seriously, the hosts of the Emmys are gayer than Richard Simmons' headband collection. The aforementioned NPH, Jane Lynch, Wanda Sykes, Ellen DeGeneres (multiple times!), David Hyde Pierce, Raymond Burr, Joan Rivers (an honorary inductee). Still, there must be something that connects the gay gene with the hosting gene. How about Jimmy get some of that? Wait, maybe we should call Anderson Cooper after all. Either way, I'm sure Ben Affleck will be thrilled to help out. Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan [Photo Credit: ABC] More: Jimmy Kimmel To Host the 2012 Emmy Awards Emmys 2012: 10 Burning Questions! 2012 Emmy Awards: See the Full List of Nominees!
  • The First 20 Minutes of 'Homeland' Season 2 Are Jam Packed with Action
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 10, 2012
    There are trailers and then there are trailers. Not happy to just give you just a flimsy preview of the second season of TV's twistiest show, Showtime has released the first 20 minutes of the Season 2 premiere of Homeland for your viewing pleasure. Yes, it's for free! Just look below! Considering each episode is only about 50 minutes long, that is basically half of the entire first episode. That's like going to McDonald's and getting 20 fries, half a hamburger, and an already opened toy for free. Who needs the Happy Meal? This clip does all the heavy lifting for what we can expect in the upcoming season and gets all the exposition out of the way so that when the show premieres on September 30, instead we can focus on the twists, Claire Danes' hair (it's so shiny!), and just how the hell Mandy Patinkin gets his beard so fluffy. My biggest concern with the second season is how they're going to make it as believable as the first one (after all, this show is run by the team behind 24 and their second season had Kim being attacked by a mountain lion, so we have reasons to be afraid). As for getting Carrie Mathison back in the fold it all happens quite easily. After Israel bombs nuclear targets in Iran, a former asset approaches Carrie's old boss Saul in Beirut and says she has information. But she'll only talk to Carrie. That means the CIA has to go crawling back and ask for her help. Carrie is out of the hospital and doing well as an ESL teacher to a room full of Arabic speakers. She tends her garden and tries to avoid stress, including the CIA. Just as hard as she fought to stay in the bureau last season she's fighting to stay out of it this time around. Brody's political assent, however, isn't as believable. He's now a Congressman; the Vice President, who is contemplating a presidential run, is considering Brody for his old job. Meanwhile, he's still living in the crappy tract house in Maryland even though his family is trying to climb the Washington social hierarchy with new friends, fancy schools for the kids, and new designer suits instead of dusty old military uniforms. It just all seems a little, well, much. But based on what Showtime has shown us so far, this looks like it's going to be another blockbuster year. Now September 30 needs to hurry up and get here so I can fast forward through the first 20 minutes and get to all the cliffhangers! Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan [Photo Credit: Showtime] More: 41 Questions About the 'Homeland' Season Two Trailer New 'Homeland' Trailer: How Dangerous Is A Role Reversal? New 'Homeland' Teaser Gets Deeper Into Season 2
  • 'Big Brother' Recap: The End Is Near
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 10, 2012
    Oh, Big Brother. There are so few surprises left. So few people that machinations are almost impossible. At this stage of the game, larger alliances start to crumble because people start to realize that their former allies are now the ones keeping them from winning the big prize. Lucky for Dan, the rest of the players don't know this about the game or at least refuse to admit it, so it's keeping him safe and making it easier for him to get rid of everyone else. Just look at what happened during the live eviction last Thursday night. When Dan won HoH, he knew it was his chance to get Ian out. Shane and Danielle didn't seem too thrilled about the plan, but went along with it. Dan told Ian that he was putting him up as a pawn and to trust him, but was really going to vote him out. Then when Ian won the PoV and took himself down, Dan had some scrambling to do. He wanted to put up Shane and boot him, which would have been a very smart choice. Shane is great at competitions and might find a way to squeak into the final two just by winning at the right time. However, Danielle didn't want to put her boyfriend up. Doesn't she know the day will come? This is what always confuses me about people on competitive reality shows, you're going to have to kick your friend/closest ally/showmance off eventually. You can't be blinded by love. It's not like you're going to have a handful of poisonous berries at the end and be able to trick the gamemaster like Katniss and Peeta. There will only be one winner, so you should take the shot while you can. Because Dan didn't put up Shane, he put up Danielle instead. Dan said it was because she was a pawn (even though that is what he just told Ian with the intention of booting him) and he had to please the red-headed ghost that has been haunting the Big Brother house all summer. I say screw that ghost. You don't really need her. It's time for an exorcism. Or at least living with making the ghost angry. This is the problem with Dan's game. When you have a final alliance with everyone, there is going to be a point where everyone knows that you're lying. That point should be abundantly clear now to Ian, Danielle, and the ghost. Shane is too stupid to notice, he's just happy to be there another day, but if Dan is so willing to boot him, shouldn't Danielle know he would do the same to her? After that whole recap, there was a POV competition and the winner is... "Save, Delete, Replay." Yup, that is what my DVR said at this point of the show because stupid football went over on CBS and ruined the rest of the night. God, I hate the fall. This is just another reason why BB shouldn't be allowed to linger into the fall, because some television networks are under the mistaken impression that some programming is more important that competitive reality shows. How about just cutting the end of the game off if it goes long? Ever think of that, CBS? Anyway, I caught the end online this morning. I was rooting for Ian anyway, since he seems like more of an underdog now that ever (and because I picked him to win in week one, and I want to be right). Eventually he squeaks out another victory using this crazy ball mechanism to guess the day on which various events occurred in the house. He actually tied with Shane and they had to compete in a tie breaker question. See, Shane is still a threat. That's your excuse to nominate him right there, Ian. When it comes time for Ian to put people on the block, he makes a huge mistake and nominates the ghost and Shane. This week he really needs to get one of the Quack Packers out of the house, because those are the only ones who actually stand a chance of beating him. Actually, he needs to get out either Dan or Shane, because the two ladies don't stand much of a chance in competitions or against the jury. He should have put up both Dan and Shane to ensure one was going home, even after the veto. Also, as it stands now, with the ghost on the block, Dan and Danielle are making the votes and since they're so closely aligned they'll vote together and decide who needs to go home (if they're smart it will be Shane). If I were Ian (and thank god I am not, because I wouldn't have to sit through an hour of Rachel Rilley annoying me in Pandora's Box) I would have told the ghost that I would save her this week if she voted the way I told her. That way Ian is guaranteed to get the person he wants out of the house, because with only two votes cast for who gets sent packing, he can break the tie. This game is about getting and maintaining control, and if Ian can't control the way the votes go, his HoH is useless. We'll see how things shake out on Wednesday. Right now Ian's best bet is for the ghost to win the veto and free herself, but if not, it looks like she will finally be sent into the quiet afterlife and the remaining Quack Packers will cannibalize poor Ian. Unless Dan can get Danielle to come around and kick out Shane. Please let that happen. That really needs to happen. She needs to learn a hard lesson: in Big Brother alliances were meant to be broken. Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan [Photo Credit: AP Photo] More: 'Big Brother' Recap: Holy Double Eviction, Batman! 'Big Brother' Recap: On Comet, On Stupid 'Big Brother' Stars Brendon Villegas & Rachel Reilly Wed From Our Partners: Relive Ryan Reynolds' Sexiest Looks — GALLERY (Celebuzz) John Mayer Involved in Ponzi Scheme Lawsuit: Report (Celebuzz)
  • 'Real Housewives of New York' Recap: Butt Pirates
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 07, 2012
    Alright, I'm going to get right into it, because there is really only one thing I want to talk about today. OK, there are two things I want to talk about, but the first one I want to talk about so badly that I can't even finish this sentence without saying that Sonja Tremont Morgans, of the Lake Winnipesaukee Morgans, likes to take it up the butt. Yes, this is a real thing that happened on national television last night. This is a watershed moment, people. Anal is now on the table in reality TV. It's just like in a relationship, when you give up the old stink eye once, you have to keep letting your man go back again and again as often as he wants. This is now true of the Real Housewives. The seventh seal has been broken and sodomy is not only a topic of conversation but a behavior that is documented and encouraged. Of course we have "sex positive" Housewife Sonja Morgan to thank for this. I love this slut (and where I come from – the Meat Rack in Fire Island — slut is a term of endearment and a badge of honor. But what is doubly amazing is not only that Sonja got it where the sun don't shine, she got it where the sun don't shine from Tomas, the Johnny Deppelganger that LuAnn may or may not have banged in last week's episode.OK, on the subject of LuAnn and Tomas, I don't know whether or not she went for a ride on his seven seas, but something fishy definitely went on. She absolutely took him back to the house, as Ramona's relentless interrogation of him helped ascertain, but whether or not she got to find out the size of his wave or the motion of his ocean is up for debate. They could have just come home together and made out. They could have just played Parcheesi in the bunk house and showed off their bad tattoos (Countess Crackerjacks has a tramp stamp of a dolphin jumping over a music staff). Ramona says that, "Balki [Bartakamous, LuAnn's boyfriend] isn't going to be very happy about this." How do you know Ramona? How do any of us know? He might not care at all. They might have an open relationship and they're allowed to sleep with whomever they want on vacation. After all Balki is a foreigner and you know how none of them respect traditional marriage. That's why we all need to elect someone who will keep them out of our country with their devilish and duplicitous ways. Romney for President, 2012! Yes, Crackerjacks might have yo ho hoed on Tomas' bottle of rum, and good for her if she did. She screwed a hot guy while on vacation. Who hasn't done that? Well, most straight guys I imagine, but I doubt any of them are reading this recap anyway. If you are, wanna go on vacation? What is crazy is that LuAnn continues to spin her story about a group of Italians even after everyone has already figured out that it was Tomas' plank she was walking the night before. Give it up, Lulu (oh, she already did!)What we do know for sure is that Sonja T. Morgan let him in the back door.
  • Why We Need Wonder Woman
    By: Brian Moylan Sep 07, 2012
    Just when you thought that Hollywood might be sick of superhero movies, the boon continued this summer. The Avengers made more green than The Hulk, The Dark Knight Rises raked in the dough despite its tragic opening weekend, and The Amazing Spider-Man showed that even a reboot after five years is not only possible but will make a ton money. By now, every superhero has gotten his own movie. Iron Man was a second tier star until Robert Downey, Jr. made him a hero. We've seen Daredevil, Ghost Rider (and a sequel!), and The Green Lantern, so why can't one of comicdom's marquee stars get a project greenlit? Yes, I'm talking about Wonder Woman. News came yesterday that there is yet another Wonder Woman project in the works. Vulture reports that The CW has ordered a script for a show called Amazon that would be about the origins of Diana of Themyscira, the Amazonian princess who one day becomes Wonder Woman. I'm sorry, but I'm not holding my breath. We've been burned by Wonder Woman projects before. It was just last year that NBC passed on a Wonder Woman pilot starring Adrianne Palicki and written by David E. Kelley. And, of course, there is the Joss Whedon film version of the comic we've been promised for ages, another movie version by Nicolas Winding Refn , and another new one written by Michael Goldenberg. When it comes to the Lady of Steele we get lots of promises, but no one ever delivers. The last time we've seen Wonder Woman on screen was the campy '70s version starring Lynda Carter, but nothing in the past three decades. Batman had a campy retro show too, and he's had eight movies made about him since then. What's the problem with Wonder Woman? The conventional wisdom is that her story is hard to tell, that she doesn't have many compelling villains, and that her character isn't especially interesting. All of that is kind of bulls***. There is a very simple reason that Wonder Woman needs to make it to one of our screens, big or small, in the near future: sexism. Yes. I said it. Wonder Woman may cause more problems than the average superhero in terms of her origin and rogues gallery, but what it looks like is that she is the only one who doesn't have a movie because she is a woman. The writers, directors, and other creatives in the entertainment industry can solve any problem, and they could crack the Wonder Woman code if they really wanted to. These are the people that made a hit out of Disney ride about pirates (and a flop out of a board game about plastic boats). A lady superhero shouldn't be that big of a challenge. I would like to think that the movie industry isn't sexist, and if Hollywood doesn't want the population at large to think that either, then they need to get their act together and stop wasting Wonder Woman. She's a huge cultural icon, and the fact that she doesn't have her own franchise while so many lesser-knowns do is just plain unfair and reeks of bias. It's bad enough that there aren't many female superheroes to start with, so we can't ignore the biggest one we've got. And it's not a business decision. We live in the world of Sex and the City: The Movie, Bridesmaids, Twilight, and The Hunger Games. Women have proven that they go to the movies and that they can make something a blockbuster. Hollywood needs to stop acting like it's a fluke every time someone with two X chromosomes buys a movie ticket to something her boyfriend didn't choose. Thanks to Katniss and Angelina Jolie, they've also proven that a female action hero is just as bankable as a male one. It's time that the movie industry has the balls to put someone without any on the marquee. There is one final reason that we need our very own Wonder Woman, but it probably isn't an argument that is going to get the executives and agents all riled up to fast track either the film or the TV show that we've been continuously promised. It's that we need a hero. All of us. Well, all the rest of us. All the rest of us on the outside. We need someone to look up to. No matter how dark and brooding Batman or Spider-Man or Superman or any of the other "Man"s get, they will always be part of the establishment. They will always be popular. Wonder Woman has always been the hero for everyone else. For the women ignored by the comics industry and the entertainment industrial complex. For the gay kids who identified more with her brand of heroism than the brute strength of Wolverine. For those who dreamed big but didn't think there was anyone out there fighting for them. We had Wonder Woman. By continuing to ignore her, you're only reinforcing what all of us square pegs already felt: that what we want doesn't matter. Sure, courting the misfits might not seem like a winning box office strategy, but the thing about misfits is there are a lot of us. A lot of little people that add up to a huge opening weekend. And whenever you give us what we want, we'll show up. If you put the energy into making it good, we'll show up and make Wonder Woman a success. We'll show everyone who underestimated us with a sound defeat. After all, that is something we learned from Wonder Woman. Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan [Photo Credit: DC Comics] More: 'Wonder Woman' Movie Finds Writer Christina Hendricks Wanted for 'Wonder Woman' Movie Joss Whedon Quits 'Wonder Woman' Movie From Our Partners:Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's Wedding: New Details(Celebuzz) Kardashians Sneak Peek: Kourtney Wants What?!(Celebuzz)