Kate Ward
Kate Ward is the current Executive Editor for, a former editor and writer for Entertainment Weekly and, and a forever fan of pop culture. A graduate of the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University, Ward — whose work has also appeared in Glamour magazine — loves talking about nutgrafs and hates exclamation points, despite using them on a regular basis. Specializing in reality TV, ’90s nostalgia, and bad movies, Ward is likely the oldest person to attend "American Idols LIVE!" every year with her mom.
  • 'Celebrity Apprentice': Dennis Rodman's A Modern Artist, and 7 Other Ridiculous Moments
    By: Kate Ward Apr 01, 2013
    More beautiful than a piece of art? The fact that Sunday night's Celebrity Apprentice was only a merciful 60 minutes long. (And this is the only time you'll see an entertainment journalist thank The Voice for three straight hours of programming.) But the shortened episode was hardly the most beautiful thing about Sunday's show. After a five-week tear, self-proclaimed boardroom expert Omarosa Manigault was finally fired from Celebrity Apprentice, outdone by, of all contestants, Dennis Rodman.  But the fact that Omarosa used the word "integrity" during her fight to stay in the competition was hardly the most ridiculous thing about Sunday's episode, which saw Lisa Rinna clinch a victory for her charity, St. Jude's.  The challenge, which asked the stars to raise money for their project manager's charity by creating and selling their own artwork, also led to these moments more ridiculous than guest judge Piers Morgan accusing someone of thinking they're a celebrity:  8. Dennis Rodman, a Force in the BoardroomIt was easier to understand the most sprawling of Faulkner novels than Rodman's plea in the boardroom to send home Omarosa, yet the basketball player still drew me in more than a late '90s Carmen Electra. Who knew The Worm would take down The Snake? 7. JELL-O, Blue Man Group!Everyone's favorite non-support group showed up to support Penn Jillette, donating thousands of dollars encased in 150 pounds of JELL-O. Even they miss Season 1 of the the Office.   RELATED: 'Celebrity Apprentice': Dennis Rodman Can Cure Homelessness 6. Dennis' "Redemption"Trump claims the basketball player's very conscious performance on this season of Celebrity Apprentice is redemption for his efforts on Season 2 of the series, which Rodman mistook for a different reality show called Nap On Camera. Which means I experience my own personal redemption story every time I wake up in the morning. Still, Rodman is too good a reality star to let go, so he, like his big screen spirit animal Jean Valjean, will live one day more on Celebrity apprentice.  5. Dennis Rodman, Sober Modern ArtistTake note, kids: Stay off drugs, and you too can earn praise for arguing nonsensically, staying conscious, And crafting an impressive piece of modern art involving Derek Jeter's bat.     4. "Specific to Me, the Art Does Matter."Says Stephen Baldwin, the man who once starred in Snakeman.  RELATED: 'Celebrity Apprentice': Omarosa and LaToya's Ridiculous Fight 3. Stephen's a Piece of (Art)workSadder than Picasso's Blue Stage is Stephen's entire life stage, brought to life by a piece of art he called "I'm Not Alec." Whether that title showcased his inferiority complex more than his pride that a non-existant art dealer thought the piece was better than the artwork of his fellow D-list celebrities... you be the judge.   2. "It Came From an Unknown Presence."What could be the first line from an H.G. Wells novel also proved to be the logic behind real-life Morlock Gary Busey's "Mr. Hang Brain," a piece of artwork that did indeed look like it came straight out of the actor's subconsious. And, as it turns out, a donor was willing to pay $25,000 for a glimpse inside Busey's mind. What's even more surprising, though, is that... 1. Art Imitates LifeWho could predict the Entourage plotline most likely to come true was Busey's success in art? (Admittedly, still more realistic than an Aquaman movie.)   [Image Credit: Douglas Gorenstein/NBC] You Might Also Like:Topanga's Revealing Lingerie Shoot: Hello '90s! 13 Most WTF Fan Tributes
  • 'Celebrity Apprentice': Dennis Rodman's Cure for the Homeless and 9 Other Ridiculous Moments
    By: Kate Ward Mar 25, 2013
    Farouk Shami can't be the only one who misses last season's Aubrey O'Day, who the hairstyling businessman styled into his personal blow-up doll during Celebrity Apprentice 12. After all, during this All-Star Celebrity Apprentice, we're left with "stars" as creative as a sample of Lil Jon's lyrics. Meaning, of course, that this crop is simply, as the rapper would say, "Okay." Two teams with the same ideas to shill Farouk Systems, a company that's managed to market itself on multiple seasons of Celebrity Apprentice and still remain largely unknown to both the viewing public and participating celebrities? Very few companies have such a skill for mediocrity. But, without further ado, let's get into the night's 10 most ridiculous moments of Celebrity Apprentice! RELATED: Omarosa and LaToya Fight Tops Ridiculous 'Celebrity Apprentice' Moments 10. Everybody Hates Stephen BaldwinIncluding Matt Rich, his own publicist, who Baldwin tracked down by telling Marilu Henner to tell her Miss USA source to tell his publicist that Stephen needed his help. No wonder Stevie B loves God, the only person he seems to have a direct connection to. 9. "Do Things You Are Not Told."The most dangerous words of encouragement Lisa Rinna could have ever told Gary Busey. 8. Farouk's F**ked-Up ProductsIf Shami's friendship with Donald Trump wasn't enough of a reason to not invest in his products, the mogul's dandruff powder — which gave Marilu the exact type of volume one would hope for if they were hoping for a bird to flap through their hair — certainly set him head and shoulders below the hairstyling competition. 7. Gary, the AccountantParticularly an accountant intent on thinking "outside the box," which is crazy since we know all of Gary's thoughts come from inside a box of smelly markers. 6. Carol Baldwin's CrushStephen's mother, the face of the Carol M. Baldwin Breast Care Center, told cameras of The Donald: "I think he's so sexy … I would give his wife a run for her money." That's one way to get another check delivered to the cause. (Another is equating The Donald with God.) RELATED: Omarosa's Crocodile Tears Tops Crazy 'Celebrity Apprentice' Moments 5. "I Just Heard From My Joan Rivers That My Trump Died Yesterday."Also known as the worst innuendo you could ever bring to the bedroom. 4. Feeling a Rectal TransmissionCRAZY. That stands for Gary's penchant for Creating Ridiculous Acronyms for Zucchini Yarmulkes. Okay, so it turns out Gary's better than I am at acronyms. But I can't believe watching Sunday's episode of Celebrity Apprentice meant that I missed the Symphony of Farting Trombones on NPR. 3. Dennis Rodman Shines. Literally.With this new look (see pitcure above), Dennis is pretty enough to marry Dennis... again.   2. Dennis Solves the Homeless CrisisMoney? Healthcare? Homes? Psh. What the homeless really need, according to Dennis, is a handful of D-listers giving them stylish makeovers. 1. Omarosa's Immortality Deal or No Deal model Claudia Jordan was forced to pack her suitcase faster than Howie Mandel's hairline receded after failing to watch last week's episode, in which LaToya Jackson was fired for not bringing Omarosa into the boardroom. Really, Claudia? You tell Donald Jr., that Omarosa was your weakest link, then bring back Lil Jon, also known as Farouk's favorite American of all the Americans, following your loss? It's official: Ocean's Twelve is no longer the worst thing introduced to audiences in 2004. Turns out Omarosa is harder to kill than Trump's television career.    [Image Credit: Douglas Gorenstein/NBC] You Might Also Like:Topanga's Revealing Lingerie Shoot: Hello '90s! 25 Stars Before They Were Famous
  • 'American Idol': How New Ranking System Could Send Your Favorite Out the Door
    By: Kate Ward Mar 15, 2013
    Throughout its 12 seasons, American Idol has seen many changes. What began as a quest to find bubblegum pop's next big artist morphed into an artistry competition before the series transformed into the search for America's Most A-List Judge. (The reality show also went through a "packaged artist" phase that we'd love to forget about as quickly as Norman Gentle.) But now, in Season 12, Idol has seen its biggest change of all, and we're not talking about its return to pre-Season 9 glory as an entertaining reality series. (Consider me a converted Barb here, Nicki Minaj!) Nope, last night, Idol debuted its new ranking system, borrowed from X Factor's format with the intent of borrowing from NCIS ratings. Whereas Idol fans have grown accostumed to learning the bottom three contestants each week — and only the bottom three contestants — the series now informs us of the rankings of all the singers, except for the top three vote getters.  RELATED: Curtis Finch, Jr., 'Shocked' About Elimination It would seem a minor change for those who have survived Simon Cowell's exit and Ellen DeGeneres' disastrous tenure on the show, but, moreso than the series' new SuperVote format, the ranking system now changes the entire Idol game. Before, fans of contestants would power vote for their favorite bottom three contestant — but still text or call for their favorite frontrunner, not knowing where they fell on the season's scale. Now, while we can respect that America got things mostly right this week (ahem, Lazaro Arbos at No. 4? What in the Zoanette?!), we also run the risk of watching America get it very, very wrong next week. Because the assumption after this week is that Angie Miller, Candice Glover, and Kree Harrison are all safe. Why should America spread any of their 50 super votes to the frontrunners when they're all locked in at the top three? We've seen quality contestants leave before their time thanks to the dreaded safety assumption (see: Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry, Michael Johns, Carly Smithson). Idol's new system now simply exacerbates the problem. RELATED: 'Idol' Recap: The Weirdest Results Show Yet Granted, it does make for great television. Discovering that Lazaro outranked the likes of Amber Holcomb (No. 5) and Burnell Taylor (No. 7) is enough to get frenzied Idol fans more riled up than Charlie Askew in a tank top. (Too soon?) And, best case scenario, we actually get an interesting results show while sympathy voters supporting the stuttering-plagued Lazaro will realize they run the risk of only helping the weak contestant wear out his welcome. Still, it wouldn't be surprising to see Burnell, Paul Jolley, and Devin Velez topping the rankings next week, while Angie, Candice, and Kree are left middling in the back of the pack thanks to voters who feel their vote for the frontrunner no longer matters.  Thursday night, Nigel Lythgoe, it seemed you got your wish — the girls sat at the top of the pack during a results show that managed to bring plenty of drama. But the ratings grab might come at the expense of one of Season 12's very talented ladies. And if Nicki almost walked out after Curtis Finch, Jr. — a semi-talented, but very maligned contestant — was eliminated, imagine what she'll do if wifey Kree were eliminated. There simply aren't enough waffles in the world to cure that injustice.  RELATED: 'Idol' Top 10's Pop Culture Lookalikes [Image Credit: FOX] You Might Also Like:14 Movies Thshiat Are, Surprisingly, Not PornStars Who Have Lost Roles For Being Too Hot (Celebuzz)
  • 'American Idol': Why Was Nicki Minaj Late?
    By: Kate Ward Mar 13, 2013
    When American Idol began Wednesday night, fans of the reality series were left to stare at their TV sets, wondering, in true Nicki Minaj fashion, "O-kay?" For the judge, who has become both beloved and maligned for her brutal honesty and bedazzled fashion sense, was nowhere to be found at the beginning of the telecast. RELATED: Can a Girl Win 'American Idol'? Eventually — though the audience at CBS Television City was not informed the judge would be late prior to the telecast — Minaj showed up 15 minutes late, with Ryan Seacrest blaming traffic. Minaj seemed to confirm Seacrest's claim on Twitter: Stuck in traffic *sighs* — Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) March 14, 2013 Like we said, o-kay, Nicki. We'd love to believe you, but "traffic" is far too simple an excuse for a star as extravagant as you. (Even though, as our source within the theater tells us, you apply your own makeup while Mariah Carey boasts three make-up artists.) So why was Nicki really late? We have our own guesses. Which do you think explains her tardiness? Vote below! RELATED: 'Idol': The Top 10's Pop Culture Lookalikes <a href="">Why was Nicki Minaj really late to 'American Idol'?</a> [Image Credit: Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images] You Might Also Like:14 Movies That Are, Surprisingly, Not PornStars Who Have Lost Roles For Being Too Hot (Celebuzz)
  • Is 'Girls' Q-Tip Scene the Most Disgusting TV Moment Ever?
    By: Kate Ward Mar 11, 2013
    Sunday night on Girls, Hannah's assault on her ears turned out to be an assault on our eyes. Digging in a Q-tip a bit too far in order to clean her ears, Hannah (Lena Dunham) was rushed to the hospital with a bloody injury that left us bloody sick.   But did the moment make you cringe as much as other stomach-turning TV scenes? Click through our gallery of TV's 18 most digusting TV moments to find out. Word of warning: You might want to delay your lunch.  GALLERY: TV's 18 Most Disgusting Moments RELATED: 'Girls' Recap: How a Bloody Q-Tip Unraveled Adam [Image Credit: HBO] You Might Also Like:8 Male Stars With Tramp Stamps15 Stars Share Secrets of their Sex Lives (Celebuzz)
  • 'Celebrity Apprentice': Crocodile Tears, Creepy Tickling, and 8 More Ridiculous Moments
    By: Kate Ward Mar 11, 2013
    Ah, the spring. That one time of year in which we celebrate has-beens who are neither celebrities nor apprentices on NBC's Celebrity Apprentice. And though part of me wishes daylights savings had occurred at approximately 10pm ET Sunday night — so we could have condensed the overblown reality series down to one sensible hour — the other part of me can't resist 120 minutes of Celebrity Apprentice's pure insanity. During Sunday night's episode, there were tears, laughter, and law-defying tickling. But how did Celebrity Apprentice's ridiculous moments stack up? Let's rank them! 10. Marilu Henner's Useless TalentThe former Taxi star has highly superior autobiographical memory, which, for all your '90s kids out there, makes her the adult equivalent of Cam Jansen. But instead of using this skill to heed advice from the Universal Studios executives — or to incorporate even the smallest details into their photo booth — Marilu turned her memory into a parlor trick, telling everyone the day of the week they were born after learning their birthday. Impressive? Yes. Useless? Yes. "Useless" an adjective we'd expect describing a Celebrity Apprentice player? Most definitely yes.  RELATED: 'All-Star Celebrity Apprentice': Who Was Fired First? 9. Plane and (Not) SimpleDonald Trump chose to fly his all-stars down to Orlando on his private jet in order to participate in a challenge that would reward the Project Manager's charity with $20,000... a sum far less than it likely cost to travel to Universal Studios in the first place.  8. Nothing Trumps Trump's JetAt least, according to the Celebrity Apprentice headliner, who spent a good portion of the final boardroom attempting to get his jet the stamp of approval from Dennis Rodman. Which is silly, considering Rodman is the type of person who approves these stamps.  7. The Mere Existence of Giant TrumpMore disturbing than Trump's hairline and whatever's going on in Gary Busey's brain? Seven-foot tall, 200-year-old vampire Eric Trump, who appeared on Sunday's Celebrity apprentice as an advisor who somehow developed the ability to go out in Orlando's daylight. Tall dude gives a new meaning to Trump towers.  6. Plan B's Seeing DoubleOr, at least, Universal Studios attendees were when they went to Plan B's inane photobooth, which featured cardboard cut-outs of the Celebrity Apprentice stars... standing alongside the real Celebrity Apprentice stars. Then again, our has-beens are so two-dimensional, it might have been difficult to determine which was which. RELATED: 'Celebrity Apprentice': Gary Busey Will Be Back In Your Nightmares 5.  The Discovery of Trump's HairlineMarch 10, 2013: Scientists will one day fondly recall the day we at last spotted Trump's real hairline, covered by a hairstyle that involves Trump combing his hair forward before he combs it back. Which means Trump's coif is constantly doing the Electric Slide.  4. "I Am the Cat in the Hat And I Love You."The most bizarre sentence any Celebrity apprentice star could ever utter to the Universal Studios executives is also quite possibly the most poetic thing Gary has ever said. Hallmark, are you listening?     3. Omarosa's Coping MechanismsPart of me feels bad for questioning Omarosa Manigault's participation on the series just months after fiancé Michael Clarke Duncan's death, so I'm glad LaToya Jackson did it for me. And the other part of me now worries about my sanity after siding with LaToya.  2. Omarosa's Post-Win BreakdownPart of me feels bad for questioning whether or not Omarosa was crying crocodile tears for her late fiancé after her win as Project Manager, so I'm glad Dennis Rodman did it for me. ("You were nominated, right? For one Oscar?" the athlete asked Gary, then pointed to Omarosa. "There's one right there.") And the other part of me now really worries about my sanity after siding with Dennis.   RELATED: Even Celebrities Are Fed Up With Donald Trump 1. Gary, the Tickle MonsterIn a scenario pulled right out of your nightmares, Gary found the best way to entertain the masses at Universal Studios was to tickle them. So, don't worry kids — there are things more terrifying than a life-sized chicken. Have fun in Orlando! Did you tune into Celebrity Apprentice? Think Dee Snider deserved the boot for his redundant photo booth? [Image Credit: NBC] You Might Also Like:8 Male Stars With Tramp Stamps15 Stars Share Secrets of their Sex Lives (Celebuzz)
  • 'American Idol': The Top 10's Pop Culture Doppelgängers
    By: Kate Ward Mar 08, 2013
    We've seen American Idol's Top 10 before. No, not just during their auditions and under Las Vegas' hot lights, but also in pop culture history, where they each boast a doppelgänger. But which celebrities and characters do Angela Miller, Lazaro Arbos, Burnell Taylor and more look like? As soon as you finish saying sacre blue(!) noticing Devin Velez's resemblance to Tintin, click on our gallery of American Idol's Top 10's pop culture doppelgängers! GALLERY: American Idol: Top 10's Pop Culture Doppelgängers   [Image Credit: Michael Becker/FOX; Egmont Publishing]
  • 'American Idol': Curtis Finch, Jr. Blames Editing For Negative Hollywood Week Portrayal
    By: Kate Ward Mar 08, 2013
    Curtis Finch, Jr., might have been happy following his Top 10 finish on American Idol, but some fans of the reality series certainly weren't. Since Idol's live performances began, viewers and critics have been responding just as negatively to the contestant's attitude as the judges have been responding positively to his undeniable vocal prowess.  Do you get the feeling that Curtis Finch Jr. has no trouble at all appreciating his own abilities? #AmericanIdol — brian_mansfield (@brian_mansfield) March 7, 2013 Am I the only one that remembers Curtis Finch Jr being a jerk to Charlie Askew during group day in Hollywood???? #Idol — Adrianna Barrionuevo (@adriannabarr) March 7, 2013 I just can't get behind Curtis Finch Jr. He's an amazing technical singing, but his is SMUG. #Idol — Katie Boehnke (@ktbanks) March 7, 2013 The source of fans' ire: Finch's behavior during Hollywood Week. When Charlie Askew fell ill during group rounds, Finch showed little sympathy for the young singer, leaving fellow group mate Charles Mathis to care for Askew. Of not assisting Askew, Finch told Idol's cameras: "I'm here to send him home in the first place." Now that Finch has made the Top 10, however, he's at the mercy of Idol voters, who are known to have all-too-reliable memories. (See the swift exits of former drama-magnets Antonella Barba, Tatiana Del Toro, Clint Jun Gamboa, and Reed Grimm. Hell, voters probably wouldn't have fallen for Scotty McCreery had he not offered an on-stage apology for kicking little Jacee Badeaux out of his group during Hollywood Week.) But, as Finch tells, he's not concerned about how his Hollywood Week attitude might affect him in the competition. "I think it's important for America to know that American Idol is a TV show," he says. "It's been edited, and some things — most things — that happened during Hollywood Week were not shown." As Curtis tells us, his fanbase is strong, and there's little reason to worry about viewers who were rubbed the wrong way by his behavior earlier in the season. "I always continue to look forward to tomorrow and not look back on yesterday, because I know who I am, and not everybody else does, so the people that like Curtis will vote for Curtis, and the people that don't will probably vote for Angie [Miller] or Amber [Holcomb] or Candice [Glover]." And, should the latter be the case, Finch is fine with the outcome. "[Candice] is my baby," he says. "She is an incredible gift. She sings like nobody's business, and so I'm here enjoying all of this with her. She's incredible. I love her." We'll have to see if fans can echo the sentiment about Finch.  [Image Credit: FOX] From Our Partners: Kim Kardashian's Maternity Style: So Wrong? (Vh1)60 Celebrity Bikini Bodies: Guess Who! (Celebuzz)
  • Watch 'Breaking Bad' If It Were a '90s Family Series
    By: Kate Ward Mar 07, 2013
    After almost five years of murder, mayhem, and, oh-so-much meth, it's insane to remember that Breaking Bad's first episode was actually funny. Bryan Cranston as a bumbly father caught in a pair of tighty-whities, Aaron Paul as a wise-cracking burnout — the premiere had the makings of a great buddy dramedy before Breaking Bad transformed into one of the greatest, most horrifying series of all time.  RELATED: Dean Norris Talks 'Breaking Bad' Finale So it's no surprise that a clever YouTube user found a way to turn the dark AMC hit into a light-hearted family series in a new mash-up. Using Foreigner's "White Lie" as a backdrop, the video (embedded below) uses rooftop pizza, Badger, and redecorating mishaps as inspiration for the opening credits of a 1995 series. (Though, if we're being honest, Breaking Bad in 1995 would swap Paul for Sasha Mitchell, right?) The only thing it's missing is a box of Hidden Treasures for Walt Jr.'s breakfast.  RELATED: 'Breaking Bad' Season Finale Recap [Image Credit: YouTube]  From Our Partners:Seal Is Dating the Pink Power Ranger: Report (Vh1)60 Celebrity Bikini Bodies: Guess Who! (Celebuzz)
  • 10 'American Idol' Finalists Worse Than Zoanette Johnson
    By: Kate Ward Mar 06, 2013
      What's love got to do with it? Hopefully nothing, if you're Season 12's much-maligned contestant, Zoanette Johnson. Because following her painful performance of the Tina Turner hit Tuesday night, Zoanette seems all but poised to become simply a footnote in Season 12's history. (That is, if the tricky Vote for the Worst doesn't catapult her into the Top 10.)  10. Sanjaya Malakar, Season 6Zoanette's Season 6 spirit animal, Sanjaya, became just as reviled for his hairstyles and unfounded arrogance as his off-key renditions of songs he should never have been singing in the first place. (See his performance of No Doubt's "Bathwater" below.) There was no more just elimination than when Sanjaya was given the boot during Top 7 week, but his off-puttingly good performance of "Bésame Mucho" proved he's not quite worth the distinction of being Idol's worst finalist of all time.   9. Carmen Rasmusen, Season 2A precursor to YouTube's hit Usher goat, Carmen bleated her way into Season 2's Top 12, despite getting cut in Hollywood earlier in the season. (She was brought back for drama's sake during the season's wildcard rounds.) And her performance in the finals only proved that Carmen should indeed have walked out the door during Hollywood Week. When Corey Clark is outperforming you, you know no beat can turn your Idol success around. 8. Ashthon Jones, Season 10True, Jones' biggest offense is being forgettable, but, oh, how forgettable was she! Season 10's 13th place finisher might have impressed the judges who picked her as their wild card thanks to her clichéd reality TV attitude, but Ashthon proved to be television Ambien during her performances of "When You Tell Me That You Love Me" and "Love All Over Me." Consider yourself lucky FremantleMedia pulled all her performances off the Web for copyright's sake. 7.  Ryan Starr, Season 1It's easier to tear up the Season 1 contestant than it was for her to tear up her own clothes — Ryan's on-stage demeanor was as obnoxious as her last name, and her singing as sharp as her looks. The singer's future as a tired reality star certainly didn't help matters (she appeared in series like The Surreal Life and Battle of the Network Reality Stars), but bonus points should be rewarded for the reported behind-the-scenes brawl with fellow Season 1 maligned singer Nikki McKibbin.  6. John Stevens, Season 3The ginger crooner's audition was a welcome change of pace among Idol's diva-friendly space, but no Sinatra-esque charm will ever forgive that ear-splitting performance of Elton John's "Crocodile Rock" during Top 9 week. (Even more unforgiveable was the fact that Stevens survived the week unscathed.) In fact, Stevens' tenure on the show — during which he mangled songs like "My Girl," "As Time Goes By," and "Music of My Heart" — was so painful, his audition is the only piece of it the Internet was willing to salvage.   NEXT: The Worst Idol of All Time 5. EJay Day, Season 1The contestant was dramatically brought back to Season 1 of Idol after Delano Cagnolatti was disqualified for lying about his age, and then fell flat during his first finalist performance. Even more offensive than a waste of TV drama was the fact that Day ever shared the stage with Idol behemoth Kelly Clarkson.    4. Haley Scarnato, Season 6Yes, there was someone worse on Season 6 than Sanjaya. Say what you will about the boy wonder, but at least he proved to be a conversation starter. Scarnato, on the other hand, was just as vocally spotty as her hated Season 6 cohort, with a personality as bland as her pageant song choices. There has been no Idol contestant more worthy of the fast-forward button. Nice legs, though.  3. Camile Velasco, Season 3On Idol, the Hawaiian-born Camile sold herself as Rasta (as evidenced by the red, yellow, and green wristband she wore throughout her tenure on the show), but came off as merely raspy. Not quite the cool chick we had hoped for, Velasco trotted out hackneyed and schmaltzy songs that didn't at all fit her vocal style, like "One Last Cry," "Son of a Preacher Man," and "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" — to some, the worst performance in Idol history. A lethal combination of confusing and boring, viewers were ready to say "Aloha" to the singer after her disastrous Elton cover.  2. Paige Miles, Season 9Because there's nothing more ridiculous than claiming Michael Jackson's death was responsible for your unlistenable performance of Nat King Cole's "Smile." (And nothing more unforgiveable than being the 7th Idol to perform the groan-worthy "Against All Odds.") 1. Tim Urban, Season 9The contestant had the looks... and absolutely nothing else. Dull, unoriginal, and average, Tim was the poster boy for Season 9's sad crop of talent. The fact that we had to endure nine live performances from the six-pack-rocking teenage dream was bad enough (do you remember "Under My Thumb"? No? Good!), but the fact that he outlasted the unceremoniously booted Lilly Scott, Katelyn Epperly, and Alex Lambert was nothing but a nightmare. No one Idol contestant turned the long-running reality series into must-miss television as Tim.  [Image Credit: Michael Becker/Fox] From Our Partners:Seal Is Dating the Pink Power Ranger: Report (Vh1)60 Celebrity Bikini Bodies: Guess Who! (Celebuzz)