Kelsea Stahler
Celebrity Editor Kelsea Stahler was born in a pile of dirt. Okay, she was actually born in an old Naval hospital in San Diego, which then became a pile of dirt and remained as such for a number of years before becoming a parking lot perfectly sized for circus tents, and finally a museum. She eventually left San Diego to attend New York University, where she studied Journalism and English literature — two less-than profitable liberal arts degrees about which guidance counselors warned her. Against all odds, she now resides in Brooklyn, where she fights the constant fear that the locals will soon discover she isn’t quite cool enough to live there, and makes a living writing absurd, pop culture features about Batman, zombies, vampires, funny people, and Ron Swanson.
  • 'J.Edgar' Adds Josh Lucas
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 18, 2011
    Clint Eastwood's in-the-works biopic, J. Edgar can boast another star amongst its cast after today. Josh Lucas has just landed a role in the film as Charles Lindbergh, the famous aviator. Lucas joins Leonardo DiCaprio, Armie Hammer, Judi Dench, and Ed Westwick for the pic which is set to release some time in 2012. While Lucas is by no means an offensively awful actor, it seems strange that he'd be chosen among the ranks of Dench and DiCaprio and up-and-comers like Westwick and Hammer. He's been in his fair share of films, his catalog boasts roles alongside a slew of Hollywood heavyweights, so he's got the experience to merit a part; he is, however, a little bland compared to his future cast mates. I'd argue that each of them brings something unique to the film, while Lucas can always be depended upon to deliver something the intended outcome and nothing more. Even so, I think this may be a chance for him to prove he's more than just a guy in the movies; this film that attempts to unravel the mystery surrounding the inaugural director of the FBI may be the time for Lucas to show he can move beyond the expected and deliver something that's a bit extraordinary. Source: Deadline
  • First Look: 'Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2' Photo
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 18, 2011
    Here's our first taste of the final installment of the Harry Potter series, due out this summer. From the looks of Neville Longbottom's (Matthew Lewis) situation, shit is getting real. The photo is likely from the long awaited Battle of Hogwarts and Bellatrix LeStrange (Helena Bonham Carter) appears to be lurking in the background behind Neville. In case you're not a fan of the series, thanks to LeStrange's evil ways, Neville has a score to settle with her and this may be a photo from the scene where the long-brewing conflict comes to a head. Source:
  • 'The King's Speech' Sweeps BAFTA Noms
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 18, 2011
    The British Academy of Film and Television Arts has released its list of nominees for the annual BAFTA Awards, also known as the British Oscars or the only big awards show with a category just for British only. Surprise, surprise, the Brits have come out on top; the historical drama, The King’s Speech swept the noms with 14 in total. Close behind is Darren Aronofsky’s surprising thriller, Black Swan with 12 total nominations. The British Film category that comes in addition to the BAFTA’s “Best Film” category gives a second chance to 127 Hours, which doesn’t make the top five in the overall category but has the chance to take the top Brits-only honor. Also of note, 14 year old Hailee Steinfeld, who’s blowing audiences away in December’s True Grit, merits the grownup honor of a nomination for best lead actress for her role in the film (mini fist pump!). While the awards will be broadcast exclusively on BBC One, sorry America, it’s still worth knowing which films made the cut. And the nominees are: Best Film • Black Swan - Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver, Scott Franklin • Inception - Emma Thomas, Christopher Nolan • The King’s Speech - Iain Canning, Emile Sherman, Gareth Unwin • The Social Network - Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca, Céan Chaffin • True Grit - Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen, Joel Coen Outstanding British Film • 127 Hours - Danny Boyle, Simon Beaufoy, Christian Colson, John Smithson • Another Year - Mike Leigh, Georgina Lowe • Four Lions - Chris Morris, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain, Mark Herbert, Derrin Schlesinger • The King’s Speech - Tom Hooper, David Seidler, Iain Canning, Emile Sherman, Gareth Unwin • Made in Dagenham - Nigel Cole, William Ivory, Elizabeth Karlsen, Stephen Woolley Outstanding Debut by a British Writer, Director or Producer • The Arbor - Director, Producer - Clio Barnard, Tracy O’Riordan • Exit Through The Gift Shop - Director, Producer – Banksy, Jaimie D’Cruz • Four Lions - Director/Writer - Chris Morris • Monsters - Director/Writer – Gareth Edwards • Skeletons - Director/Writer – Nick Whitfield Director • 127 Hours - Danny Boyle • Black Swan - Darren Aronofsky • Inception - Christopher Nolan • The King’s Speech - Tom Hooper • The Social Network - David Fincher Original Screenplay • Black Swan - Mark Heyman, Andrés Heinz, John McLaughlin • The Fighter - Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson • Inception - Christopher Nolan • The Kids Are All Right - Lisa Cholodenko, Stuart Blumberg • The King’s Speech - David Seidler Adapted Screenplay • 127 Hours - Danny Boyle, Simon Beaufoy • The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Rasmus Heisterberg, Nikolaj Arcel • The Social Network - Aaron Sorkin • Toy Story 3 - Michael Arndt • True Grit - Joel Coen, Ethan Coen Film Not In the English Language • Biutiful - Alejandro González Iñárritu, Jon Kilik, Fernando Bovaira • The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Søren Stærmose, Niels Arden Oplev • I Am Love - Luca Guadagnino, Francesco Melzi D’Eril, Marco Morabito, Massimiliano Violante • Of Gods And Men - Xavier Beauvois • The Secrets In Their Eyes - Mariela Besuievsky, Juan José Campanella Animated Film • Despicable Me - Chris Renaud, Pierre Coffin • How To Train Your Dragon - Chris Sanders, Dean DeBlois • Toy Story 3 - Lee Unkrich Leading Actor • Javier Bardem – Biutiful • Jeff Bridges - True Grit • Jesse Eisenberg - The Social Network • Colin Firth - The King’s Speech • James Franco - 127 Hours Leading Actress • Annette Benning - The Kids Are All Right • Julianne Moore - The Kids Are All Right • Natalie Portman - Black Swan • Noomi Rapace - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo • Hailee Steinfeld - True Grit Supporting Actor • Christian Bale - The Fighter • Andrew Garfield - The Social Network • Pete Postlethwaite - The Town • Mark Ruffalo - The Kids Are All Right • Geoffrey Rush - The King’s Speech Supporting Actress • Amy Adams - The Fighter • Helena Bonham Carter - The King’s Speech • Barbara Hershey - Black Swan • Lesley Manville - Another Year • Miranda Richardson - Made in Dagenham Original Music • 127 Hours - AR Rahman • Alice In Wonderland - Danny Elfman • How to Train Your Dragon - John Powell • Inception - Hans Zimmer • The King’s Speech - Alexandre Desplat Cinematography • 127 Hours - Anthony Dod Mantle, Enrique Chediak • Black Swan - Matthew Libatique • Inception - Wally Pfister • The King’s Speech - Danny Cohen • True Grit - Roger Deakins For the full list of nominees, visit the BAFTA site, here.
  • Regis Philbin Is Leaving 'Live'
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 18, 2011
    It’s the end of an era if you love daytime TV. Regis Philbin announced on his show Live With Regis and Kelly this morning that he’ll be stepping down from his hosting gig this summer. The man is 79 years old and he’s been hosting the show for over 25 years and he holds a Guinness World Record for the most time spent in front of a television camera; it’s about time he takes a freaking break. The only way he could make more of a dent in pop culture at this point is if he takes Hugh Hefner’s retirement from having relationships with entire harems as a cue to take up the tradition himself – hey, you saw what he did when Nicki Minaj stopped by his show. Don’t tell me ol’ Reege wouldn’t enjoy being followed around by three busty blondes all day long. I may be wrong, but I’m just saying, it could happen. Source: Hollywood Reporter
  • Daily Shuffle: Lindsay Passed All Her Drug Tests
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 18, 2011
    • Lilo is good to go, guys. She’s made it. She’s in the clear. Right? Well, for now anyway. Lohan’s proud papa just bragged to RadarOnline that his daughter has passed up to 10 drug and alcohol tests in the two weeks that she’s been out of the Betty Ford Center “with flying colors.” Note to Mr. Lohan, as happy as we are for Lilo and her new-found abstinence, you should know that we generally reserve that phrase for situations in which passing a test means your daughter stayed up all night studying the ancient Roman empire. -RadarOnline • America’s sweethearts…er…okay, more like two really cute actors who were dating for a really short amount of time, SNL’s Jason Sudekis and Mad Men’s January Jones have split. They’ve announce they’re “done” but that they “could get back together.” Here’s a lesson from Hollywood royalty you two, if you’re going to split at all, split in a grand fashion, then let everyone get all excited when you get back together two weeks later. It’s called game; get some. -People • Piers Morgan has a new CNN talk show (and I’m still not sure why) and he’s already burning bridges. He released the list of people he refuses to chat with on his show. Chief among them are Madonna, Heather Mills, Howie Mandel (because he’s “too irritating”), Cherie Blair (wife of Tony Blair) and Keith Olberman (“just because it would really annoy him”). Okay dude, most of America only knows you as a judge on some silly talent contest, are you really going to start being picky about who’s on your show? This early in the game you should count yourself lucky to have Howie Mandel as a guest, besides who else can tell you about the effect of sexy ladies and numbered suitcases on America’s youth? -Vulture
  • 10 Hilariously Bad 'American Idol' Audition Songs
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 17, 2011
    As the premiere of the all-new American Idol approaches, we bid adieu to those “mean” audition practices that push the crazies through to the final rounds just so we can hear Simon tell them how awful they are as the other judges giggle and try to sugar coat the big, bad wolf’s real talk. But come on, most of these people are totally aware that they’re putting themselves in that situation – I said most! – they’re just looking for a reason to get on TV. Now, the voice of reason has gone on to greener pastures and left us a panel of music biz vets who are determined to be “uplifting” and “nice” – whatever that is. Just because Idol is kinder and gentler doesn’t mean we have to be kind or gentle. Since everything’s going to be all peachy keen once the show starts, why don’t you get your Idol crazies fix by imagining a few hopefuls attempting to woo the judges with these tunes. They aren't bad songs (well a few of them are); they're a selection of some of the worst choices if you actually plan on getting a ticket to Hollywood, but man would they make things a little more interesting for the folks at home. "Party All the Time" – Eddie Murphy Auditioner Category: Clueless Frat Boy This is the guy who would probably have a decent or okay singing voice, but the fact that he most certainly “pre-gamed” during his entire 14 hour wait to audition ensures that all he’ll show us is his ability to recreate that awkward side-to-side dance that reminds us of the Super Bowl shuffle. Good effort, dude, but you're like, not going to make it to Hollywood.  "The Piano Has Been Drinking" – Tom Waits Auditioner Category: The Delusional Immitator This guy or girl thinks A: that they can be just as awesome as Tom Waits and B: that Idol is some sort of contest to see who can imitate their favorite successful musician the best. They will almost always insist that they are above the competition itself and they may exit their audition like this guy. He or she probably also considered doing Bruce Springsteen's “Nebraska” or Neil Young's “Hey Hey, My My” but decided those weren’t challenging enough. "Loving You" – Minnie Ripperton Auditioner Category: The Delusional Wannabe Prodigy This girl would pick an iconic song that almost no one can successfully recreate. She’s probably been told by her great aunt and her mother that she’s the next Mariah Carey, but when it comes time to audition if those plastic Coca-cola cups could be shattered, the judges' table would be covered in little glass slivers. Even the best Christina Aguilera-style arm gyrations can't save you from that (you know, the ones that look like she’s trying to sing while wearing a blindfold and pop a slew of invisible bubbles). "Shoop" – Salt N Pepa Auditioner Category: The Angry Girl Who Thinks She’s Above the Show’s Premise This girl swears she’s the best person the judges will see all day, but she’s failed to realize that it’s a singing competition, not a swagger competition. She’s probably still stuck in the 90s, rocking overalls and an unbuttoned plaid shirt or some other outfit seemingly inspired by Brittany Murphy’s character in Clueless pre-Chertastic makeover. “Rollin’ with the homies” isn’t going to get you a ticket to Hollywood, darlin’. "Fernando" – ABBA Auditioner Category: The Housewife Who Somehow Sneaks Past the 28 Year Age Limit This very nice lady, sporting her mom jeans and dragging along her very bored teenage son and daughter, somehow managed to make it past the age limit and is determined to show the judges just how great of a singer she is. She’s probably not a terrible singer, but her awkward swaying movements, Lawrence Welk style vocals, and homemade “I Love Idol” sweatshirt probably aren’t going to make the cut. "Die Another Day" – Madonna Auditioner Category: The Hardcore Madonna Fan He or she will come into the audition with far too much seriousness and a little drama. They may or may not be donning their favorite Madonna concert tee – probably a colorful one from the “Music” era – and their blind love for the Material Girl has caused them not to notice that this is by far one of the worst songs ever. In his or her head, they’ll sound like the spacey auto-tuned Madonna, but the rest of us will just hear some awful sing-talking and have the urge to run out and rent a James Bond movie starring Pierce Brosnan and Halle Berry after hearing the title repeated a million times. Weird. "Aqualung" – Jethro Tull Auditioner Category: The Kid Who Loves Classic Rock Songs But Doesn’t Realize What They’re About This kid thinks he can prove to his friends that auditioning for Idol isn’t something to be embarrassed about, so he picks one of his favorite classic rock songs. Too bad he’s never been that good at deciphering the meanings of lyrics. Even if he rocks the vocals, the fact that he failed to ask (well, anyone really) what the song is about will condemn him to the status as a creepy, laughable, YouTube-worthy audition. "Cat Scratch Fever" – Ted Nugent Auditioner Category: The Spastic Set Destroyer This guy is the reason the producers of the show have to take out insurance on the set equipment. He’s like totally pumped to be auditioning for Idol and he’s totally psyched to be performing like one of his favorite songs OF ALL TIME, EVER. Too bad he’ll get way too excited, run into the judges table and knock over a few set lights before he even gets to the bridge. Randy will probably need a week off to recover due to “psychological damage” as a result of the event. "Highly Suspicious" – My Morning Jacket Auditioner Category: The Obnoxious New Arrangement Guy This person has just discovered the concept of rearranging songs. Now that they don’t have to do an exact replica, they think they can re-imagine something like “Highly Suspicious” as a classy, jazzy tune and wow the judges with how unique they are. They think of themselves as a genius, the rest of us will just think they’re a douchebag. PS: Knowing how to arrange music doesn’t mean you can actually sing. "Short People" – Randy Newman Auditioner Category: The 15 Year Old Girl Whose Dad Chose Her Song In her dad’s defense, he thought the “cute” irony of a short girl singing “Short People” would put her ahead of the game. The actual result is two uncomfortable minutes of a little girl singing a song that she probably doesn’t understand with a vacant expression, a pageant smile and her hands on her hips. Creepy much?
  • Celeb Speak: Holly Madison Bitter Over Hef's Engagement?
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 14, 2011
    It sure sounds that way. After the news hit that Hugh Hefner was engaged to his latest blonde girlfriend, Crystal Harris, former girlfriend and fan of the pet name “Puffin,” Holly Madison, said she was “surprised.” For those of you who don’t speak lady, that “surprised” really means, “WHAT THE HELL? Who does this bitch think she is? I should be the one with the engagement ring!” Of course, this is just what it normally means in ladyland, who knows what Holly meant by it. (Side note: where the hell did "Puffin" come from? Wait, I probably don’t want to know.) Then again, after that she went and blabbed to Life and Style, saying “Basically, I think he could do better.” YIKES. Translation from girl-speak: “Oh helllllll no.” Now she’s back-peddling a bit, but not well enough if you ask me. Just today, she told E! “I just hope they’re both happy and they’ve thought it through and that they’ve made the right decision. If so, I’m totally happy for them.” Diplomatic? Kind of, but to be honest it just sounds like every friend I’ve ever had when she’s talking about her ex-boyfriend who she’s still not over when he gets a new lady. Just admit it Holly, you’re jealous. Hell, you’re really, REALLY jealous. We all know it. We saw you try and groom Hef into, well, a groom for years on The Girls Next Door. She's not fooling anyone with her hesitant and less than encouraging comments. No one believes she’s over it; why else would she have dated Criss Angel immediately after the man who created Playboy? I mean come on. Source: E!
  • SNL Promos: Now With Gwyneth and Cee-lo
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 14, 2011
    “ONE DAY, PALTROW. ONE DAY.” That’s the amount of time our own Hannah Lawrence gave Miss Gwyneth Paltrow to get her ass to New York to do her own SNL promos instead of making poor Fred Armisen stand next to Andy Samberg while looking like a little kid who got caught reaching for the cookie jar. Apparently, the stern warning worked (or at least we’d like to think it did) because Gwynny’s reached New York and she’s already got new promos for her guest spot on the sketch show this weekend. She even got Cee-Lo in on the deal and it seems the nickname is right on the money – Ladykiller, indeed.
  • 'Pirates' Scribe Will Return For Fifth Movie
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 14, 2011
    Before the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie is even ready to set sail, Disney’s already on the hunt for the fifth installment’s crew. While Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides navigates its way through post production, execs have nabbed one half of the writing team that brought us four Pirates movies to date, Terry Rossio. They’ve not asked his partner in crime since 1992’s Aladdin to return – does this mean we’ve got a scapegoat for the multitude of missteps in Pirates of The Caribbean: At World’s End? (Because we need one; that movie had quite a few things that shouldn’t have made it as far as the first table read.) Disney is apparently happy with the work that director Rob Marshall is doing with the fourth Pirates movie, because they’re also attempting to convince him to return for the fifth. There’s also a deal in the works for Johnny Depp to return as Jack Sparrow, but it’s far from being set in stone. I hope he doesn’t suddenly change his mind because without him, there is no movie. (Besides, he made The Tourist so how picky can he be? Give us a little more Jack, Johnny.) Because of the post production madness, I’m sure we won’t know the fate of the next film for a little while longer, but at least we know the important fact, which is that they are concocting something for the pirate super saga. Source: Deadline
  • A Love Letter For Liz Lemon
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 14, 2011
    I don’t think anyone would argue that 30 Rock’s leading lady, Liz Lemon, isn’t absolutely hilarious. Tina Fey’s television alter ego has charmed viewers with her antics and her nerdy ways, but if you talk to anyone I know, she’s more than that. Liz Lemon is a modern day heroine of sorts. Any given happy hour or Sunday brunch or even afternoon text exchange generally includes a shout out to good ol’ LL because she’s done what no famous TV character has done for us ladies before; she’s made it okay, and even sort of cool, to be our normal junk food loving, closeted nerdy, baggy pajama pants wearing selves on a daily basis. “I’m sorry I’m a real woman and not some over-sexed nympho like those sluts on Everybody Loves Raymond” – Lemon She makes up for the fact that famous TV characters like Rachel from Friends and Carrie Bradshaw made us feel inferior for not wearing Dior and Jimmy Choos to work in the morning or to the grocery store. Most of us don’t know someone who knows someone who has a key to some members-only club in Manhattan. For most of us ladies, the closest we’ll get to feeling like a member of some secret, exclusive club is that moment when the sushi place we order dinner from automatically remembers to make the spicy salmon roll crunchy because they recognize our phone number (and we order the same thing every week). Most of us have cute, flattering clothes, but we’d never be seen running to the office in $500 strappy sandals while dressed to the nines. “I haven't seen your brow that furrowed since you saw that picture of Helen Mirren in a bikini."-Jack “How is that possible? Is she a wizard?” –Lemon As a New York woman, I’ve often found the Rachels and the Carries of pop culture infuriating instead of inspiring. We can’t all be that woman and we don’t all necessarily want to be that woman. In fact I don’t know that I’ve ever met someone who truly is, but Liz Lemon is someone my friends and I can see in ourselves day in and day out. We’ve all got jobs we love and we’re making it in the city, but thanks to Lemon that doesn’t mean we should be spending our hard earned cash on a designer dress to wear to some fancy event. We’ve even started tweeting at each other with the hashtag #iamlizlemon for those times when Lemon’s wisdom truly seems to be in effect. It’s those times when you might forgo a Saturday night out because you’d rather wear sweats, order way too much Chinese food and see how many Star Wars movies you can get through for the evening, and that’s okay. It’s those times when you would kill someone for a doughnut or a bag of crappy cheese puffs, and that’s okay too. It’s those times when you hop on the train or stand in line at the store and some annoyingly perfect woman makes you feel like a bum just by sheer proximity to her immaculate outfit, but that’s okay too. It happens to all of us. We are all a little Lemony. “Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.” –Lemon Liz Lemon lets us laugh at our flaws instead of focusing on how to get rid of them. She makes it okay to keep trying that diet, but allowing ourselves to break down here and there for something really awful like a plate of tater tots or in her case, ham. She knows and shows us that no one wakes up looking like they just came out of the salon – we all wake up with weird pillow marks and our hair going a million different directions. These normal – not “oh dear, what is that girl thinking?” – moments and realizations were often reserved for the odd best friend to the immaculate leading lady; the friend who is perpetually single and perpetually complaining and probably not so attractive. Lemon embodies those goofy, single lady supporting character traits, but instead of making them look shameful, she brings them front and center and says, “Yep, we do that, but look who’s writing the paychecks and running her own show.” We can be that goofy, weird friend and still be functioning and successful people. Suck on that Sex and the City. “My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.” –Lemon But what about the Lemony love life? She makes it okay to be a single lady who’s not constantly chased by handsome suitors or caught in complicated and outlandish love triangles – because let’s face it, that’s not something that happens to most women. Even so, Lemon isn’t sexless. She has her moments and she’s snagged some serious hotties too (James Franco, Jason Sudekis, John Hamm and Matt Damon) and the fact that I literally just had the urge to “you go girl” Liz Lemon as I typed that proves my point. “You are my heroine! And by heroine I mean lady hero. I don’t want to inject you and listen to jazz.” – Lemon Lemon is the role model for successful normalcy. Sure, she takes it to a whole new comedic level – I’m pretty sure most of us would never touch something similar to her beloved Cheesy Blasters and we never asked for a Pete Rose haircut as a little girl – but ultimately she just makes the normalcy that we all know far better than the 5th Avenue stylings of the Carries and Rachels and she makes the realization livable by turning it into something we can all laugh at week in and week out. And on that note, Liz Lemon I thank you and salute you.