Kelsea Stahler
Celebrity Editor Kelsea Stahler was born in a pile of dirt. Okay, she was actually born in an old Naval hospital in San Diego, which then became a pile of dirt and remained as such for a number of years before becoming a parking lot perfectly sized for circus tents, and finally a museum. She eventually left San Diego to attend New York University, where she studied Journalism and English literature — two less-than profitable liberal arts degrees about which guidance counselors warned her. Against all odds, she now resides in Brooklyn, where she fights the constant fear that the locals will soon discover she isn’t quite cool enough to live there, and makes a living writing absurd, pop culture features about Batman, zombies, vampires, funny people, and Ron Swanson.
  • 10 Years of Questionable Golden Globe Nominations
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 14, 2011
    As we all know, 2010 was a bit of a dismal year for movies. Of course, we have some true gems that came out of 365 days that mostly served up a slew of lukewarm, tolerable films and a whole host of downright awful ones; and you would think that an awards ceremony would serve to pick out the best of the best. Instead the Golden Globes seem to be rewarding the brightest stars, even if their sparkle is a little dingy. However, if the past tells us anything, we should have known that the nominations for the Globes would be a bit questionable. This isn’t the only year that we’ve seen some arguably undeserved Golden Globe nominations or at lease nominations that rewarded adequate films whose successes were bloated by star power but little else. It’s true; the Globes sort of play the little sister partying her way through college to the Oscars’ upstanding gentleman, so it would seem the most important factor for scoring a nomination is your Q score without quality of performance coming in second. On that cheery note, join as we count down the top 10 dubious Globe noms over the past 10 years. We’ve done our research, and every film on this list is rated certifiably rotten according to the cumulative reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and that’s pretty hard to argue with. 10. Across the Universe (2007) Best Picture Musical or Comedy Rotten Tomatoes Score: 53% This Julie Taymor romp through the Beatles catalog of hits was visually stunning, taking a few questionable takes on the classic tunes and wielding them through a weak storyline that attempted to connect the music with the history that served as its backdrop. The film was fun, but by no means a triumph. The dialogue is weak and the story is a bit stale. This is the case of an adequate film worth a viewing or two but by no means deserving of a top honor. There are a few who hold this film in incredibly high standings who’d disagree with me on this one, but majority rule says “nay” to this flick. 9. Mel Gibson, What Women Want (2000) Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy Rotten Tomatoes Score: 53% This early 2000s romantic comedy accomplished nothing more than its bare-bones promise. Mel Gibson stumbled along through the outlandish plot wherein he not only survives falling into a bathtub with a hair dryer, but somehow obtains the magical power of hearing women’s thoughts. Gibson was nominated for a Globe, presumably for his ability to raise his eyebrows and try on pantyhose rather than his aptitude for comedic genius. 8. “Die Another Day” by Madonna, Die Another Day (2002) Original Song Rotten Tomatoes Score: 59% Not only was the film itself one of the worst Bond films I’ve ever seen – it literally abolished all the aspects of Mr. Bond that were great – but the song is flat out terrible and completely uninspired. There were quite a few terrible Original Song nominations over the past few years, but this one takes the cake. It’s quite literally a combination of a few unintelligible lyrics, techno laser-gun noises, auto-tuned Madonna, and an opportunity to repeat the title of the movie over and over…and over just in case you forgot why she wrote the song in the first place. 7. Hugh Jackman, Kate and Leopold (2001) Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy Rotten Tomatoes Score: 48% This is another example of the subpar romantic comedy with two big names. Our own film critic gave the film a measly two stars and said the movie was “poorly executed” and relied on Meg Ryan’s “stale” charms, and I’m inclined to whole-heartedly agree (as did most other film critics). As for Jackman, as adorable as he is, all he did was trade in his Aussie accent for a prim and proper British one and say nice things to Ryan. That’s it. Kate and Leopold isn’t worth watching unless you’re snowed in and it’s playing on loop on Lifetime or Oxygen because it’s better than episodes of Maury and The Price is Right; it definitely doesn’t merit a golden statuette to recognize its cinematic “achievement.” 6. Sandra Bullock, Miss Congeniality (2000) Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy Rotten Tomatoes Score: 42% Was Miss Congeniality fun? Sure it was. Was it entertaining? Sure it was. But did it provide anything that could be considered a comedic achievement or even translate to fun for anyone besides girlies settling in with their Junior Mints and awaiting a total chick flick? Nope. As for Sandy, she does the same thing she does in every single movie. I’d probably even choose to give her a Globe nom for Practical Magic over her slapstick performance in Miss Congeniality. She may have played the coolest, sweetest FBI agent ever, but that doesn’t mean she needs a gold star. 5. Nine (2009) Best Picture Musical or Comedy Rotten Tomatoes Score: 37% First of all, did anyone even see this movie? And of that small portion who did make it to the theater, did any of them even like it? Well, the evidence is to the contrary. Rob Marshall attempted to recreate the musical magic he achieved with 2002’s Chicago, but missed the mark by a mile, yet the film still merited a spot on the nominations list last year. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the film packed five big names and therefore ensured five famous faces to add to the champagne-soaked crowd at the Beverly Hilton Hotel Ballroom. Dear Hollywood Foreign Press Association, the fact that the category has room for musicals doesn’t mean you MUST include a musical. 4. Hayden Christensen, Life As A House (2001) Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Rotten Tomatoes Score: 47% Why would anyone nominate Hayden Christensen for an acting award? The only award he should get should be for being the prettiest male Star Wars character or for his ability to grunt and make menacing eyebrow movements. Even when he delivered what is most likely the best performance of his career in Shattered Glass (which was in itself a very good film), the only thing I could say about his performance was that he didn’t screw it up. In Life As A House, he did the same thing he does in every movie: look pretty and deliver lines in an awkward cadence. This is what merits an award these days? 3. Burlesque (2010) Best Picture Musical or Comedy Rotten Tomatoes Score: 37% Did they learn nothing from Nine? Yes, it was the biggest musical movie this year, but it was pretty flat and uninspiring. You know that feeling you get when a grand musical number rouses your soul and just makes you want to get up and dance? Cher and Christina Aguilera’s big, dancy, sparkly film couldn’t even muster that. The plot was obviously engineered just to make room for the original songs and dance numbers, but the songs aren’t even that great. Even though the year was a bit dismal for movies, there are at least a handful that could have taken the place of this vapid movie. Kickass? Cyrus? Honestly, I’d even prefer to see the latest Twilight movie nominated over this – at least the idea that teenagers are horny and angsty is more believable than the notion that Aguilera is a 20-something burlesque prodigy from the Midwest. 2. Renee Zellweger, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004) Best Actress Musical or Comedy Rotten Tomatoes Score: 27% Yikes, that is not a pretty number. This movie was so bad that even die-hard Bridget Jones fans were happy to see the credits roll. The first film was endearing, adorable even – yet still not necessarily award-worthy – but this abominable second installment was not only insulting to our intelligence but begged the question: did they drug Zellweger, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant, drag them into a room, starve them into hallucination and then ask them to sign a contract to make this movie? Don’t believe me? Go ahead, spend an afternoon watching it and tell me you don’t miss those precious 108 minutes that could have been spent eating ice cream, petting a puppy, or I don’t know, watching another movie. 1. Angelina Jolie, The Tourist (2010) Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy Rotten Tomatoes Score: 20% Here we have it folks: the nomination so ludicrous that even Angelina laughed when she heard the news. The film basically served as an excuse for two Hollywood heavyweights to hang out in exotic European locales and get paid for it. Too bad they didn’t manage to share any of that fun and fancy free feeling with audiences, and the two sexpots didn’t even give us a good, steamy scene. All we got was a single measly kiss. Let’s call this nomination what it is: an Angelina-you’re-so-gorgeous-and-sexy-please-come-to-our-ceremony-and-drink-champagne-because-you’re-so-pretty award. Too bad that won’t fit on the little placard at the base of those Golden Globe statuettes.
  • ABC Picks Up 'Charlie's Angels'
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 13, 2011
    If I could sigh in text this is where I would do it. Here we have it folks, another old TV show turned movie turned back to a TV show. ABC is to blame for this one; a remake of the 70s classic, Charlie’s Angels. Wait did I miss something, or didn’t Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz kill that with Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle? Even so, the network is determined to bring the one-hour drama to the small screen, pulling the Angels out of Los Angeles and them in Miami for this reincarnation. It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that the film adaptation’s driving force, Barrymore is behind this version, serving as executive producer. Maybe the show will be a whole mess of action and girl power, but I have a hard time believing it will last more than a season. We’ve already got three iconic ladies in these roles in the 70s and modern versions thanks to Barrymore, Diaz and Lucy Liu; I really doubt there’s room for more here. Source: Hollywood Reporter
  • RomCom Roundup: Kate Hudson and Josh Radnor Debut Trailers
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 13, 2011
    It’s January, so thus starts the barrage of romantic comedies that attempt to get us through the dark winter months with a little bit of manufactured happiness and hope. It’s a necessary evil in the face of bleak winter days, but it only works when the movies that we have to choose from are actually good. Thank you, gods of Rom-com, because you’ve provided us with two exact opposites in the form of brand new trailers: one that shows us how it’s done and one that’s a perfect example of how to drive the formula into the ground, pick it back up, smash into smithereens and then grind those smithereens into dust with your heel. First, the bad news. Kate Hudson is starring in another romantic comedy and they’re daring to call it A Little Bit of Heaven. Surprise, surprise. On its own, it isn’t really the worst news, but wait until you find out that her costar is a terminal illness. Hudson plays a woman whose fast-paced career made her forget love, carry a ton of condoms, and have lots of lots of meaningless sex until her cute doctor (the always charming Gael Garcia Bernal) tells her she has cancer. Of course she starts falling for him, and their chemistry-free love montage begins. I love Gael, but even he can’t save this cliché-ridden train wreck. Did I mention that Whoopie Goldberg plays God in the movie? I have no more words. Now for the refreshing part. Though Ted Mosby is my least favorite character on How I Met Your Mother, the man behind the Mosby, Josh Radnor, apparently knows his way around an indie RomCom – at least from what I can see from the trailer. An audience favorite at Sundance, Happythankyoumoreplease is a story that ties a random sampling of New Yorkers together as they navigate the very confusing world that is the modern romantic relationship. Radnor wrote the script and takes on both the starring role and the directing duties. There aren’t a whole lot of details out there but the response thus far has been positive. Take a look and decide for yourself (besides it’s the best antidote for that Kate Hudson trailer you just suffered through).
  • First Look: Andrew Garfield Suits Up As Spiderman
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 13, 2011
    It's like Christmas morning, if Christmas morning usually included spandex and a gloomy backdrop. The first image of Andrew Garfield in the famed red and blue suit has reached the internet; fanboys (and fangirls) rejoice! The photo's not incredibly telling of what's in store for the reboot of the Spiderman series, but it seems like Garfield is settling into that suit just fine. Looking good, webslinger.
  • David O. Russell and Vince Vaughn Tackle '2 Guns'
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 13, 2011
    Fresh off the gritty Boston-based drama The Fighter and his subsequent Directors’ Guild nomination for best feature film, David O. Russell has his eye on something a little different. He’s in negotiations to direct and write an adaptation of the 2 Guns comic book. The comic involves the DEA and the FBI, double-crossing, undercover missions, the mob, stealing money, unlikely team-ups, and plenty of “unexpected” twists. Is that enough going on for you? To make matters even more confusing, Vince Vaughn is set to star in the film about two government officials who unknowingly investigate the same crime. Since when could Vaughn play someone who could solve a big ol' national mystery? He's great as the sarcastic asshole who throws his famous little line ("I like where your head's at") into every movie, but I don't know that I buy him as a government sleuth. This is definitely a gear shift for Russell, but his directorial catalogue is a little scattered, so I’m sure he’ll find the right way to take on the new project. Source: Variety
  • Alfred Molina Will Try to Revive 'Law and Order: LA'
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 13, 2011
    With so-so ratings staring him in the face, Law and Order: LA creator Dick Wolf is pulling out the only weapon he’s got left: Alfred Molina. The acclaimed actor already plays a small part on the waning crime drama as the Deputy District Attorney, but now that producers have canned the detective played by Skeet Ulrich, Molina will take up the post. Well how are they going to make this unlikely switcheroo? Apparently, unbeknownst to viewers, Molina’s character spent 15 years on the LAPD before becoming the D.D.A. so it’s totally within reason that he’d step down from his post in order to become a detective once again. Right. Well, realism aside, Molina will be sleuthing his way around Los Angeles, leaving Terrance Howard to man the D.D.A. post all by his lonesome; but that was the way it was supposed to be until Wolf got greedy and split the role between the two stars. At least he finally saw the error of his ways, even if it may be too late. “…it was frustrating to have one on the bench every week. It would be like having Peyton Manning and Tom Brady as your quarterbacks, playing alternate games,” Wolf told Deadline. The show is also giving the boot to Regina Hall and Megan Boone who completed the double D.D.A. team as their assistants and starting the search for a new helping lady. Guys, I know you want to try really, really hard to keep this show going but I’m not sure it’s going to be enough. The Law and Order series has endured 20 years and 4 spinoffs adding up to over 900 hours of television – do you really need to fight this hard to keep it going? I’d say that’s one hell of a run; how about you cut your losses? This is just getting greedy and a frankly little desperate. Source: Deadline
  • WTF of the Day: Kanye's Face is on His 180k Watch
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 13, 2011
    If you’re still unconvinced that Kanye West is an egomaniac, knock it off. First of all if you’ve ever seen his Twitter feed, he’s clearly using his fame for good, "enlightening" us all with such gems as “Fur Coats and shit” or four simultaneous tweets of the lyrics of whatever song he happens to be listening to. He’s clearly so important, that we must know even the most minute details of how he’s enjoying this moment in time, even if it revolves around Lil’ Wayne lyrics. Also, Kanye, you know you don’t have to write everything in caps to be important, right? Alright, so maybe you love Kanye unconditionally and you enjoy hearing his every thought, but even you guys have to admit that spending $180,000 on a watch emblazoned with a yellow, black, white and brown array of little diamonds in the shape of his own face is RIDICULOUS. It took watchmaker Tiret over five months to create the gold hue mother-of-pearl watch. (Kanye, there’s baller and then there’s tacky. I think it’s obvious which side this one falls on, but then again, you did just spend enough to finance an entire Ivy League education on a piece of jewelry.) How obsessed with yourself do you have to be to blow that much money on something with your diamond encrusted face on it that you need to look at a million times a day. Maybe someone took that whole Stuart Smalley’s Daily Affirmations thing a bit too far.  Look, I can admit Kanye is incredibly talented and I won’t deny that his music is fantastic, but I sure as hell don’t have to like the guy, especially if he keeps this shit up. Source: Popeater
  • A 'Community' Call to Arms
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 13, 2011
    Every week, I gush about the wondrous creation that is NBC’s Community in my recaps. I’m barely able to contain myself, trying to squeeze in every hilarious one-liner and often surpassing a reasonable word count just so that I can talk about each glorious and often tiny detail. Why so much love? If you’re a fan of the show you probably understand, but I’m focusing on those who’ve yet to experience the awesomeness. Fans of the show are so emphatic about how great Community is, but it’s hard to know why without diving into at least a few episodes yourself. With that in mind, perhaps I can tip the scales and make the decision to fall madly in love with this unique sitcom that much easier with a guide to one of the best (albeit sadly underappreciated) shows on television. “There is a time and a place for subtlety, and that time was before Scary Movie.” – Troy Yes, there are many shows that have a knack for pop culture references, and I’m not here to downplay their accomplishments, but when it comes to movie and television references, Community is king. The writers don’t just throw in witty quips that exhibit their extensive knowledge (we’re talking to you, Gilmore Girls). Nope. They don’t just insert their characters in wacky recreations of iconic movies scenes (Family Guy, you do this cleverly most of the time but let’s face it, Community kicks your ass). Creator Dan Harmon’s abnormal sitcom feeds off of pop culture references, taking the films and television shows the writers love and combining it with a ridiculous sense of humor to create something that pays homage to its source while still creating something completely unique. Here’s an epic scene from the most well-known and action movie reference-heavy episode of the show, “Modern Warfare.” When I say it’s epic, I mean E-P-I-C. Enjoy. “And that was it. It was that simple. At that moment we stopped being a family and started being a family …in italics.” - Abed The integral piece of the pop culture element is one of Community’s best characters, Abed (which is saying a lot because I couldn’t banish a single character from the show if I tried). He’s your run of the mill confuses-TV-with-real-life character with an almost robotic ability to absorb and recite detail from life and film and television – oh, you’ve never heard of that character trait? Exactly. On one level, he provides context for the unending film and TV references and brings a metaphysical element to the show by constantly referring to the fact that the characters are taking part in episodes and storylines in his normal character dialogue. On a much simpler level, but one that provides infinite entertainment, is the fact that Abed’s nature makes him a bit odd, to put it lightly. He’s not one to laugh normally with everyone else and his birdlike awkwardness is entertaining in itself. This base character takes those moments where he fully commits to his spur of the moment and spot-on impressions and movie reenactments from good to uproarious. “To be blunt, Jeff and Britta is no Ross and Rachel. Your sexual tension and lack of chemistry are putting us all on edge...” –Abed Season one was a little lighter on this concept, but the switch to season two made this point all too clear. Basically, Jeff and Britta are the leading man and lady of Community – at least as much as two people can be on an ensemble show – but unlike the flawed but ultimately lovable small screen couples like Jim and Pam or Ross and Rachel, Jeff and Britta are awful, dysfunctional people. Now before I anger anyone, just know their bad qualities are what make them so awesome; it’s this sick relationship that keeps the Jeff/Britta connection from spiraling downward into sitcom mediocrity. Their terrible qualities are what tie them inextricably together and create constant angry, power-driven sexual tension while still letting them act as the antithesis of the on-again off-again relationship that seems to plague every sitcom. Even when the natural progression of the show drives them together, watch as Jeff and Britta have almost allergic reactions to the story pop culture has determined they must follow. “I hope I get multiple personalities. I get lonely in long showers.” –Troy Now the beauty of Troy Barnes is not just the show’s apt take on the typical dumb, self-centered yet completely lovable jock. The reason Troy (who mostly acts as a supporting character) should single-handedly motivate you to watch Community is that he’s played by one of the funniest comedians out there: Donald Glover. I’ll spare you all the details about his time as the youngest writer for 30 Rock and the fact that he’s actually a pretty decent rapper, and stick to the content at hand. Glover’s comedic delivery is uncanny and, as far as I can tell, unmatched. He brings his own brand of joyous, spastic voices and movements to everything he does, and if he doesn’t make you laugh there’s probably something wrong with you. Glover is also known among the cast for adding witty improvisations to the writers’ already hilarious lines, taking his well-crafted character to a whole new level of funny. Check out this scene where he takes what could have been an amusing plot twist and turns it to something absolutely hilarious. Just try and tell me you don’t love this guy. I dare you. "I'm Doctor Doogie Seacrest. I think I'm better than everyone because I'm 40." -Troy Just as with any episode of Community, you can’t end without a great tag. Usually Troy and Abed treat us to a mini-episode of their bromantic relationship, so without further ado, enjoy the one that started it all. Community returns with new episodes this Thursday night at 8 p.m. on NBC.
  • Fox Greenlights 'I Hate My Teenage Daughter'
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 13, 2011
    Fox is determined to prove that the multicamera comedy is still going strong. They’ve just greenlighted a new pilot that is by all accounts a traditional sitcom. I Hate My Teenage Daughter is about two women whose daughters have become the type of girls who made their lives miserable in high school. Yikes. This premise could go one of two ways. The set-up is simple and potentially hilarious, but with the wrong execution it could be a little more Hope and Faith than, well…funny. The rest of the details are yet to fall into place, but we do know that sitcom vet Andy Ackerman is set to direct. He’s directed episodes of just about everything including the finale of Seinfeld and more recently, the first few episodes of NBC’s new show Perfect Couples, so it’s obvious that he’s got some range. Fox also has two dramas on deck: Locke and Key and Alcatraz. Locke and Key just added HBO star Nick Stahl (Carnivale) who’ll play the brother to the Locke half of the show’s duo. The drama sounds a little iffy. Like The Walking Dead, it’s a comic book adaptation, but unlike a show set on zombies, the supernatural and ghostly elements that are at play in Locke and Key could really hokey really quickly. Hopefully Fox is taking this adaptation a little more seriously, though their style is often over the top and silly. Source: Deadline, NY Mag
  • First Look at 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo'
    By: Kelsea Stahler Jan 12, 2011
    David Fincher’s adaptation of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo finally has a face to put with the name. Well, we knew Rooney Mara was Fincher’s girl, but we’d yet to see how his vision of the leading lade would manifest itself in the film. Thanks to an official photo shoot for W Magazine, we can now get our first glimpses at Mara’s transformation into the troubled private investigator and computer hacker extraordinaire, Lisbeth Salander. Mara’s turn as the girl with the dragon tattoo puts a more stylized spin on the look Noomi Rapace rocked in the role for the Swedish film adaptation. Rapace’s look was a little more goth than the hipper, punk style that Mara exhibits in these new photos. Take a look. Source: Coming Soon