Author

Christian Cintron
  • The 10 Best Honest Trailers
    By: Christian Cintron Mar 04, 2014
    Warner Bros. Pictures via Everett Collection If you’ve become exhausted by Auto-Tune remixes and cat videos, Honest Trailers is the future of YouTube entertainment. The entertainment website Screen Junkies has developed a new format that blends film footage with hilarious jokes and honest commentary. They skewer popular and unpopular movies alike, pointing out plotholes and cataloguing the lamest and most awesome parts of movies. Here are the 10 Best Honest Trailers we've yet to see. 10. The Hobbit: An Unexpected JourneyAptly titled The Hobbit: A Totally Expected Letdown, this trailer points out one obvious fact: This franchise is shamelessly stretching out one short novel into three insanely long movies. It also gives the best recap of the film so you can skip it to catch the much better looking The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. 9. Dragonball Evolution At best, the Dragonball movie is highly forgettable. It’s a horrible adaptation of a popular kid’s television series. The bizarre plot, bad acting, and worse special effects make you forget a pre-Shameless Emmy Rossum and Justin Chatwin starred in this flop. And yet, this trailer somewhat redeems it with a hilarious recap and calling Chow Yun-Fat "Crouching Tiger, Dead Career." 8. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace This trailer is so spot-on at both making fun of the film and making the trailer look 1980s cheesy. It points out the corniness of the plot, the horrible special effects, and the batty performance by Margot Kidder.  7. Prometheus Ridley Scott couldn't really decide if he wanted to make an Alien prequel or not with Prometheus. The film is wrought with frustrating plot-holes and unsympathetic characters.  6. The Matrix The Matrix is an amazing piece of film history... and yet, the sequels were horrifically bad. This trailer quantifies how bad the sequels are and has a hilarious AOL reference.  5.  Star Trek J.J. Abrams did a decent job at rebooting the popular space franchise, but he really did leave us with a couple of major plot holes. The trailer also jabs that the film is pretty much Abrams’ reel for his upcoming Star Wars film. 4. Home Alone In the 20 years since this film came out, logic has become a major part of filmmaking. When rewatching the movie it’s a little hard to ignore the neglectful family members, torture porn moments, and the nostalgia of childhood in the 1980s and 1990s. 3. The Dark Knight Rises This movie has a ton of plot-holes, a confusing timeline, and not enough Batman. This trailer asks all the questions you wrestled with after watching and has a hilarious cast list including My Cocaine… er… Michael Caine. 2. Les Miserables This trailer pokes fun at the film having no dialogue by being entirely set to song. The best part is the trailer mimics the cast’s distinct singing voices to point out some of the craziest issues with the plot. 1. The Lord of the Rings This trailer is the best and most memorable by far. It points out all of the madness of Peter Jackson’s overwrought trilogy, the unpronounceable names, and the super low stakes. It also has the best cast list of any Honest Trailer so far. Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @AbsoluteCintron //
  • ‘Lost Girl’ Recap: XXX-Mas in March
    By: Christian Cintron Mar 03, 2014
    Showcase I think we can all agree that the last two episodes of Lost Girl have been a little lackluster. A bird Fae and a weird French flashback are not the best adventures for our favorite supernatural crew. Luckily, this week marks a return to the funny, frisky, and Fae-tastic (not quite Buffy-ish) fantasy. There’s an appearance by Krampus, who is a blend of Tim Allen’s character in The Santa Clause and the Robot Santa on Futurama. He punishes the naughty with death but is still a sweet old man. But quite horny... literally, with two ram horns. This episode begins with Bo channeling her inner sorority girl by washing her car in the most gratuitously sexual way. After all, nothing gets the grime like water freshly fallen off boobs. Check your car manual, it’s true. As per usual, Lauren and Dyson hope desperately to be her number one. They are really starting to bond. Given the sexual fluidity of the show, could they end up hooking up? The gang is celebrating Yule. It’s like Fae Christmas, only they celebrate by getting utterly smashed and the only present is not getting killed. The gang seems to be overcompensating to show Bo they appreciate her. And yet, they ignore her. Bo & Tamsin Bo realizes she’s in a time loop because she keeps waking up in the car alone. At the party, a creepy Toad Fae with hallucinogenic sweat keeps hitting on her. She catches up with Bruce (Rob Archer), the best new character on the show by far. Tamsin plants a wet one on Bo and they realize they’re both Bill Murray in this scenario. They decide to enjoy a break from their usual brooding, until people start getting sucked into the 1970s wallpaper. It’s strange Bo isn’t defaulting to her instinct to run to Lauren, Dyson, or Kenzi. Instead she’s acting passive aggressive and wounded over the worry that they are ignoring her. This isn’t the self-assured, devil may care Bo we’ve grown to love. Tamsin gets sucked into a wall and Bo has to save her. Kenzi & Hale Meanwhile, Hale is taking advantage of time loop because he’s nervous about his first time with Kenzi. Hale needs it because he really has no game. He puts the dread in double entendre. Kenzi finds out he’s been taking advantage of the time loop but luckily he makes amends. This does not bode well. This relationship with Kenzi is softening the hard-ass we’ve seen in prior seasons. Is Hale losing his edge? Lauren, Dyson, & Vex Lauren shows Dyson a box she finds in the Dark Fae archives. It’s addressed to Bo and in her handwriting. They spend the entire party drunkenly fighting over who loves her the most to decide what to do with Bo’s box. Insert dirty jokes here. It is great to see Dyson and Lauren bonding because they love Bo but can’t really have a relationship with her. The only issue is this entire idea of their making decisions for Bo goes against her whole feminist superhero persona. It also seems like Bo would be super pissed to find out this debate even happened. All the same, drunk hijinks with Dyson, Lauren, and a corseted Vex are worth watching. In Deep Krampus With Tamsin in the clutches of Krampus, Bo and Hale are released from the time loop. Apparently, Krampus likes to trap yule fools in Groundhog Day to feed off their regrets. Who has more regrets than the now reformed Tamsin? Bo tracks down his lair, a candy factory in a gas station. Props to Krampus for taking advantage of rising gas prices. He is channeling Johnny Depp’s Willy Wonka because he’s creepy, colorful, and very off-putting. Bo sacrifices herself to save Tamsin. She’s released when she embraces her fear about The Wanderer. Suddenly, the needy, co-dependent Bo makes sense. Tamsin confesses that she was part of Bo getting kidnapped and that The Wanderer is hardcore Bo gets home to find out she’s not allowed at a Light Fae party after midnight. This seems weird because it’s her apartment. She ends up alone with the mysterious box. Inside, it has the same dark smoke that kidnapped her. Succu-Best Lines of the Night "Bitch, I am the naughty list." –Bo’s free advertising. "Enough, Stephenie Meyer!" –Kenzi’s response to Trick’s storytelling "My Kenzi sense is tingling... it’s probably just gas.' –Kenzi’s idea of pillow talk 'She’s a sasquatch. She’s probably eaten like a thousand kittens." –Tamsin describing a party guest. "Let’s figure out what to do with this package... and settle the enigma of the most boring threesome ever once and for all." –Vex’s take on Lauren and Dyson "You’re my grandubbus. My succudaughter." –Drunk Trick Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @AbsoluteCintron //
  • The Scariest Dystopias in Film
    By: Christian Cintron Feb 28, 2014
    Sony Pictures via Everett Collection The future can be scary, especially when all we have in the way of predictions are dystopian novels and movies. The genre creates worlds where issues like pollution, overpopulation, or crime are handled with some major human sacrifices. The upcoming film Divergent gives us a reality wherein a citizen must choose and nurture one defining aspect of his or her personality to define life (and wardrobe) from thereon out. As if being relegated to Power Rangers-inspired fashion choices isn’t bad enough, anyone with a slightly complex personality must be destroyed for the good of society. Films have explored some fairly disturbing visions of the future. What makes them so scary is they often put a mirror up to an escalating human hardship. Here are just a few of the most disturbing and twisted dystopian futures. Check out the list!  Divergent hits theaters March 21. You can check showtimes and purchase advanced tickets here. GALLERY: The Scariest Dystopias in Film Follow @Hollywood_com Follow @AbsoluteCintron //
  • Who Should Be on Season 2 of 'RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars'?
    By: Christian Cintron Feb 27, 2014
    Logo TV Gird your loins, drag lovers! RuPaul revealed on Watch What Happens Live that there will be a second season of RuPaul's Drag Race: All-Stars. So who will be the lucky drag divas to get a second chance at the coveted crown? Last season featured a major twist — the girls play as teams. It’s entertaining but some fan faves get eliminated early while others get to ride the coattails of their more successful teammates. This new season should bring back girls who have major beef and let the fur fly. There is potential to have them work as teams or have to compete in similar challenges. Maybe they both have to make the same type of outfit or play the same role. It’s also a good opportunity to bring back girls who have shady television personas. Do they have a softer side? Rebecca Glasscock Rebecca is the first queen accused of relying on her looks. She was a frontrunner of her season until she managed to alienate all of the remaining girls. She is infamous in Drag Race history and it would be nice to see her after all these years. The queens from Season 1 deserve a crack at the Drag Race that we have come to know and love. It also would be interesting to see how Rebecca does against other fishy queens. Jade Sontamayor Jade is one of the hottest queens in the show’s history, both in and out of drag. Her dance background makes her a contender for the music and talent challenges. Plus her body is amazing. She is sweet and well liked by the girls on her season. She also has a legendary beef with Rebecca that might make for some Real Housewives-level drama. Tatianna Tatianna is one of the fishiest queens of the entire franchise. There is a ton of friction between her and the other queens of her season. She is the first queen to be accused of relying on her looks and gets teased for her love of Britney Spears. She is a stunning performer. She won the first ever Snatch Game challenge and there is a ton of potential growth in the past few years. She also has the sex appeal, humor, and sharp tooth to be a major contender to win. Morgan McMichaels Morgan is often eclipsed by Raven the Susan Lucci of Drag Race. The two are best friends but Morgan is a majorly polished queen and a real contender to win. Certain missteps in her season kept her from showcasing her humor and amazing looks. She also did seem to be a bit cliquish and picked on queens like Mystique and Tatianna. However, her lip-synching performances off the show are legendary. PhiPhi O’Hara PhiPhi is like Helen of Troy. She’s beautiful and has the shade that launched a thousand ships. Her generally combative relationship with the other queens is a major reason behind her not winning her season. She has the distinction of assassinating her career on television. In her defense, she’s cute and young. She deserves a second chance to introduce America to a softer side. If not, she can provide some Omarosa-like tension to the season. Roxxxy Andrews Not to blame PhiPhi for more things, but she is a little responsible for the harsh reply to Roxxxy Andrews. Roxxy has a bit of an edge. Her slightly combative relationship with future winner Jinkx Monsoon echoed the friction between PhiPhi and winner Sharon Needles. Roxxxy is really stunning and was an amazing performer. However, Season 5 did seem to be very performance based and allowed queens like Jinkx and Alaska to slide right into the finale. Roxxxy never had an issue with her outfits and is an accomplished. She is the only queen to take off her wig to reveal another wig! She deserves a chance at the crown without seeming like a bully. Detox It’s odd that Detox’s off-screen performances outshine her time on the show. She performs amazingly hilarious songs with Willam and Vicky Vox. She showed up to the reunion in black & white realness. She is the least outspoken member of Rulaskatox. Roxxxy is the most polished and Alaska is the funniest. And yet, Detox is the best of both worlds. She can be fabulous or funny. Alaska Alaska has it all. She’s funny, uniquely beautiful, and the perfect blend of polished and punk rock. She has the reputation for auditioning for every season of Drag Race. If she returns to the show she can step out of Sharon Needles shadow and showcase her unique approach to drag. After all, she has her own bow-legged walk. She does have the makings of an all-star. It’s unclear who will be open to return for All-Stars Season 2. Raven may return to try and get the crown. Ivy Winters is Ms. Congeniality of her season so she is bound to return. Here’s hoping Coco Montrese and Alyssa Edwards skip this season. Their on-again/off-again feud is like a 5-year-old after a day at Disneyland… tired. There is also a whole mess of season six queens who will make an appearance. These are our picks who do you think should be on the next season of All-Stars?
  • Actors Who Play the Same Role in Every Movie
    By: Christian Cintron Feb 25, 2014
    Paramount Pictures via Everett Collection Part of an actor's job is finding connections between himself and his character. Very few Hollywood actors can completely transform themselves; that’s why Meryl Streep wins all those Oscars. But even without Streep's legendary range, many actors have innately likable personalities, or fit snugly into specific types of characters perfectly. There’s an authenticity to playing a role that’s close to your personality, so we don't fault them. However, some actors seem to be phone it in, playing the same character in every movie, TV show, and even interview they do. There are a few big name stars who really need to step out of their comfort zones... Samuel L. Jackson Jackson is folksy, funny, and approachable. That’s why he’s seems to be in five movies each year. His IMDb page has enough titles to for him to market his own RedBox station. That being said, all his roles seem to be as the motherf***er you don’t want to mess with. His notorious use of profanity and overall bad mamma jamma status (he even played Shaft) have created a permanent place for him in Hollywood. No matter what his role, you wouldn’t be surprised if he broke out into a curse-filled rant. After all, he did record the audio for Go the F**k to Sleep. Bruce Willis Willis is known best for action movies, but unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, he can star in movies outside the genre. However, he has stuck pretty rigidly to the wise-talking hero with deadpan delivery and taglines galore. He always has some sort of law enforcement or military background, with few exceptions (notably as the star of The Sixth Sense, or as a bumbling alcoholic surgeon in Death Becomes Her). Can Willis play anything other than the serious hero with the occasional humorous line? Or will he be playing Detective John McClane at a nursing home in Die Hardly: Do Not Resuscitate? Check out his stone-faced delivery in these SNL Promos:    Katherine Heigl Heigl has created a niche for herself in romantic comedies. She’s also created a huge polarizing effect in Hollywood: you either love her or hate her. Part of that is her ability to be stunningly attractive yet laughingly smug. Any one of her characters will carry the veneer of good humor, but always with a dismissive attitude toward her love interest or the supporting characters. She tried to play working class screw-up in One for the Money , but didn't quite fit the bill — it seemed like 27 Dresses if the lead was an aspiring bail bondsman. Check out how her usual shtick takes squirrel form in this The Nut Job clip. Kristen Stewart Everyone is familiar with how awkward Stewart is in interviews. However, why are all of her characters morose and uncomfortable, too? We accepted Bella Swan in Twilight  an awkward teen, but then we got the same ordeal in Adventureland. And Snow White and the Huntsman. If Stewart were to play happy would a rift in the universe form and undo creation?  Zooey Deschanel Deschanel has a stronghold on characters that know how to play the ukulele. Partly due to her big baby blues and distinct voice, Deschanel tends to play, to borrow from the SNL sketch, quirky girls. But is it too much to ask for her to play a character outside of her unique brand of hipster? It is a smart business plan for Deschanel to have a strong brand if she wants to sell '50s-style dresses, handcrafted ukuleles, or eye drops. But as an actor she seems to have painted herself into a corner. Could she ever play a high-powered criminal attorney on the run from mobsters? Or would the lawyer have to go undercover as a thrift store employee who plays the Theremin?   Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @AbsoluteCintron //
  • ‘Lost Girl’ Recap: Eternal Sunshine of the Werewolf’s Mind
    By: Christian Cintron Feb 25, 2014
    Showcase This week's episode of Lost Girl can be summed in two bizarre sentences: Lauren helps Bo use a Kabbalah bracelet to hack into Dyson’s memories. They have to find a pair of Tom’s shoes that give you Wolverine claws. No joke! That’s what happened. Luckily, as with most flashback episodes, it gives major origin and character development. Plus, Dyson hasn’t had as much screen time these past few weeks. Last episode, Dyson was detained by the Una Mens. It seems like it was because he and Bo were sleeping together. The real reason is he allegedly murdered a bunch of humans and Fae. As stated earlier, Bo and Lauren try to find his alibi by entering his memories. But memory travel requires The Red String of Fate which bears a striking resemblance to Madonna’s favorite accessory. This episode brings back the hilarious Dark Fae oracle, Cassie (Vanessa Matsui). She was amazing in the episode “Dead Lucky” as a lollipop-sucking, twerking super Fae. And she did it before Miley. In Dyson’s memories, Bo literally enters Dyson by reliving his experiences in his body. This opens up a world of double entendre. They go to 1899 France, which bears a striking resemblance to the Old West. Apparently, because Bo is merging with Dyson, their memories blur together and the cast play different roles in his past. Kenzi is a French bar maid, Vex is a bumbling French prince, and Trick is… Trick. Lauren is Dyson’s wood Fae love interest the creatively named Flora Bloom. Zoie Palmer showcases an amazing singing voice and some French vocal styling. This episode has a lot of bizarre throuple vibes. Lauren and Dyson have seemed to embrace each other as family. Bo has sex with her version Lauren while in Dyson’s body. It makes for a metaphysical three-way. It seems like the writers are just guiding everyone towards television’s first polyamorous relationship. That scratching sound is One Million Moms trying to figure out how to sign a petition on America Online. The plot of the episode is pretty formulaic. As expected, Bo gets stuck and Lauren saves her. In an interesting twist, Bo rescues Dyson and Kenzi. What’s really juicy is this episode fills in a lot of Dyson and Trick history. We’ve only seen Dyson as the loyal werewolf soldier who gets separated from his pack. He spent the rest of his time as a con-man and a philanderer. Trick even gets his nickname from Dyson sarcastically shrinking the name Fitzpatrick McCorrigan. It’s also revealed that Dyson helped Trick form the Fae community we know and love. The episode ends with some pretty major questions. The Wander is still being referenced but no one can really place how or why they know his name. The Una Mens are super untrustworthy and are responsible for crimes Dyson was tried for. In their hunt for the Helskór, which are a pair of Tom’s shoes that turn you into a killing machine... unless you’re a worthy warrior. Bo and Kenzi point out that Trick has been shockingly unhelpful in The Wanderer and Una Mens drama. Could this be a clue? Here’s hoping the Wanderer isn’t Trick. Because that would mean that he slept with his daughter so Bo could be his all-powerful mate. Also, the Big Bad question remains: is it the Una Mens or The Wanderer? SuccuBest Lines of the Episode "Latin is a dead language!" –Kenzi in response to a monk dying "Heartwarming. What’s next? Soy candles and a little Tegan and Sarah?" –Cassie the Oracle "Imminent death, hair-frizzing humidity... yeah, what a snoozefest." –Kenzi "It stinks here! Dear Period France. Wash!" –Cassie "I always thought I’d go motel poolside. A twizzler in one hand and Liam Neeson in the other." –Kenzi’s ideal death Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @AbsoluteCintron //
  • Netflix Must-Series 'Children's Hospital'
    By: Christian Cintron Feb 25, 2014
    Cartoon Network Television is really ripe for parody, and web series like Burning Love and Children's Hospital are rising up to satirize all of our network staples. Rob Corddry creates a hilarious send-up of medical drama that pokes fun at the likes of Grey's Anatomy, ER, Scrubs, and Patch Adams. The doctors at Children's Hospital spend more time focused on their love lives and personal problems than on the juvenile patients in their care. Sound familiar? Dr. Cat Black (Lake Bell), later replaced by Dr. Valerie Flame (Malin Akerman), gives a Grey’s Anatomy-style narration that pokes fun at the pretension and self-absorption of medical drama leads. Corddry plays Dr. Blake Downs, a surgeon who only uses "the healing power of laughter." The best character is by far Megan Mullally as the Chief, whose crutches and walker parody Dr. Kerry Weaver (Laura Innes) of ER. Each episode is comprised of one or two "episodes" of the web series. They include a "Previously On" reel of random intercut scenes that escalate a lot of the soap operatic plotlines of these shows. For example, Dr. Black gets into a relationship with a child with advanced aging disease played by Nick Kroll. Corddry proves his real genius by penning a series that blends parody but still has its own unique spin. Not only does it borrow heavily from the genre, but it also manages to incorporate a blend of irreverent humor, the occasional offensive joke, and a lot of physical gags. There also is a meta-fictional element, with the characters occasionally breaking out of the hospital reality to reveal themselves as actors on the series Children’s Hospital. Corddry, for example, gives interviews before and after episodes as actor Cutter Spindell, and even gets his own spin-off that subsequently fails in enough time for him to return to CH. A bonus: there are tons of cameos on the series. Quite a few members of The State pop up on the show. Ken Marino and David Wain are regular cast members and Joe LoTruglio (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), Thomas Lennon, and Kerri Kenney have made cameos as well as other comic actors like Jason Sudeikis, Michael Cera, and John Hamm. Not only is the series funny and addictive, it's also short. You can get away with watching an episode or a few episodes when you have some time to kill. Luckily the first two seasons are available on Netflix.  Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @AbsoluteCintron //
  • Is 'About a Boy' Doomed to Fail?
    By: Christian Cintron Feb 24, 2014
    NBC Adaptations are a crapshoot. Some are doomed from conception, like a live-action musical based on Spider-Man. Others are shocking successes, like the 11-season classicM*A*S*H. However, in recent history, very few movie-into-television adaptations have worked. So why, might you ask, is someone trying to re-make the popular 2002 film About a Boy? Twelve years ago, the comedy film was born itself as an adaptation a of the successful Nick Hornby book. It stars Hugh Grant as a wealthy man-child who lies about having a son to impress women. He befriends Marcus (Nicholas Hoult), a boy with an overbearing flighty mother (Toni Collette). Over time, the man and boy teach each other. Now, we have a new television series version of About a Boy, developed by Jason Katims, who worked on Friday Night Lights and developed Parenthood (there seems to be a trend in Katims' projects). But despite his prior success, this show seems doomed to fail. Comedy series have had a majorly difficult time recreating the success of films. We choose not to remember Jennifer Aniston’s turn in the regrettable Ferris Bueller sitcom. Sandra Bullock started a short-lived television career as the lead in a Working Girl remake. Party Girl was an adaptation of a cult-indie film starring Parker Posey. It starred Christine Taylor, Swoosie Kurtz, and John Cameron Mitchell. And it just doesn’t work. One exception from the era is Clueless, which was more a television sequel and included a bulk of the original cast and the film's creator. It also only survived by moving to a syndicated network.  There are a few anomalies of successful remakes like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but that series was reworked almost entirely by creator Joss Wehdon. Rather than settling on remake form, Buffy had the priveledge of being the original material Whedon intended to create with his film. Friday Night Lights, Parenthood, and La Femme Nikita also all found television success, but as dramas, adapting different tones than their source material. The About a Boy adaptation seems to be veering dangerously close to the original with a few slight changes to account for the translation to American audiences.  Not only does the show have one strike against it automatically with being an adaptation, but the cast includes people with a ton of failed series on their resumes. Are they cursed? Minnie Driver is an amazing actress, but the last time she headlined a series, The Riches, it did not live long. David Walton and Leslie Bibb have also had a string of failed series launches including Perfect Couples and GCB, respectively.  From the series trailer, it looks like multiple moments from the film will be worked into the series. It’s tough to not notice the great source material being repurposed for 30-minute episodes. Of course, the series may shock everyone and rewrite rules for TV remakes. It may create a golden age of television series (*based on movies). Or audiences could check out the film, available at most DVD bargain bins. If you had any doubts check out the trailer for the series vs. the original. Spoiler alert: anything you don’t get from the movie trailer you can gloss from the TV series promo.  Movie Trailer TV Promo Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @AbsoluteCintron //
  • ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ Recap: Wail of the Banjee
    By: Christian Cintron Feb 24, 2014
    Bravo The battle between Kenya Moore and NeNe Leakes has degraded into the question: Who deserves to be blasted into the sun more rapidly? Last season, NeNe was above it all. With her NBC series The New Normal canceled, she’s back to stirring up drama with everyone. On the flip side, Kenya is getting an A+ in NeNe 101. She puts everyone on blast, runs into all the drama, and eeks by with a little likability. But it’s kind of like NeNe 1.0 vs. NeNe 2.0. Kenya and the new NeNe do not have half the appeal of vintage Sheree-hating NeNe. Also, this new NeNe is starting to say things that can offend her gay following. As an honorary queen, you should never use queen in the negative. NeNe and Gregg are recapping the fight with Peter Thomas. So are Cynthia Bailey and Malorie Massie. There really should be a name for the part of a Bravo series where people restate the obvious. Let’s call it she-hashing. This is the least enjoyable part of watching Bravo. To add insult to injury, Kenya meets with Marlo Hampton to replay everything, too. These she-caps never tell us anything new and are never honest. The real story is, as alpha, NeNe must attack anyone who challenges her. But, she needs to be well liked and invited to everything. Cynthia needs NeNe to be her best friend to stay on the show. Kenya needs attention. The only interesting things that happen in the first 10 minutes are Gregg’s toilet seat mug and a well-timed Zoolander reference. Cynthia has a Jamaican themed surprise party for Peter, even though he was planning on not coming. She even goes out of her way to hire a Jamaican band... made up of two white guys. NeNe arrives believing she’s well behaved but strolls in with a side-eye that could blind her. Marlo tries to mend fences but her friendship with Kenya is what’s really getting NeNe steamed. Round 1 between Kenya and NeNe begins. On the one hand, Kenya was manipulative in trying to force a public détente with NeNe. But NeNe can never be bullied and is manipulative in her own right. She masterminds a ton of the drama on the show. She blames Kenya for the fight but she brought everyone with issues into one room, with little clothing, and tons of alcohol. Is the beef between NeNe and Kenya really about Kenya planning the Bravo-funded trip? Why can’t they just admit Bravo’s paying and they just pick a location? Cynthia’s Ratchet Bowl arrives. It seems like an excuse to wear matching T-shirts. Peter must own a print shop. NeNe has all of her bridesmaids on her team except for Marlo. Marlo joins Kenya’s team and tries to confront NeNe about it. She is nothing but friendly but NeNe flings a bottle of water at her. NeNe storms off and Marlo follows her yapping and jumping up and down. This is starting to degrade into a bad movie: The Lesser of Two Evils. Salty Lines from the Episode "Yes, I pretty much stalked her to come. But if I would have known she was gonna come and give us Silence of the Lambs. Me and my little wig would have just let her be, child." –Cynthia on pushing NeNe to attend Kenya’s ball "She was modeling the whole time… with her face twisted… I don’t know if it was supposed to be Zoolander or what." –Kenya on NeNe’s entrance into a party. "Women are the ones that gossip, and tote messages and hoppin’ in each other’s face. So in my opinion, Peter was giving me b**ch-assness." –NeNe "I left NayNay downstairs. Didn’t want to leave her in the car. She might get cold." –NeNe channeling Drop Dead Fred "Well hello, Solid Gold!" –Kandi reading Kenya’s outfit NeNe: "Who’s that?" (about Kenya)Porsha: "You just got honored by her the other night." –Best inadvertent read of the episode "I want Kenya to understand that I am not the one to play with. You want to play these games with the rest of these girls, that’s fine… but I am not the one. I’m not the one."–NeNe’s open letter to Morpheus from The Matrix "Kandi is late. Cynthia should have told her we were going to start yesterday." –NeNe "Team Kandi, y’all that came in late and now you’re causing ruckus." –Derek J "You have to kiss her ass to be her friend. And go get that f**king Donald Trump hair redone." –Marlo taunting NeNe Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @AbsoluteCintron //
  • Major Differences Between ‘Sex & the City’ and ‘The Carrie Diaries’
    By: Christian Cintron Feb 24, 2014
    The CW The Carrie Diaries  is a fun retro series about a young girl finding her footing in big city Manhattan in the 1980s. The girl in question … Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City fame. The only issue with the series is that it’s a new take on wildly popular characters we have come to know in six seasons and two films. Since we’ve known these characters for more than 10 years, can a series really justify making changes? The series follows Candace Bushnell’s Carrie Bradshaw’s life more closely than the version we know from television and films. However, this Carrie does call into question our perspective about the unlucky in love fashionista. Can a girl with such fabulous teen years be so relatable? 1. Carrie's Daddy Issues Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) didn’t have a dad in the HBO series. In the episode “A ‘Vogue’ Idea” she confesses that her dad abandoned her family. This explains why she was consistently drawn to older men like Mr. Big (Chris Noth) and Aleksandr Petrovsky (Mikhail Baryshnikov). However, in the CW teen series, Carrie (AnnaSophia Robb) has lost her mother. Her father Tom Bradshaw (Matt Letscher) is doting, attentive, and pretty respectful. The shift does work to change the way we'd analyze the behavior of adult Carrie, just a bit. 2. How They Met In the Sex and the City 2, Carrie describes how she met all of her friends: first Charlotte (Kristen Davis), then Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), then finally Samantha (Kim Cattrall). However, on the Carrie Diaries, young Carrie meets a young Samantha (Lindsey Gort), who is cousins with Carrie’s sex-obsessed school rival Donna LeDonna (Chloe Bridges). From a narrative perspective, it makes sense. Young Carrie has a friend like Charlotte in overachieving Mouse (Ellen Wong) and snarky Maggie Landers (Katie Findlay). Also, Samantha is a fan favorite. But it calls into question why the show would alter the canon if it would so readily pander to fans of the HBO series. 3. Carrie's Lost Virginity Older Carrie confesses she lost her virginity in a Sean Bateman’s rec room on a ping pong table (something more or less... relatable). In The Carrie Diaries, rather than losing her virginity to her boyfriend Sebastian Kydd (Austin Butler) she loses it to a young playwright Adam Weaver (Chris Wood). This is symptomatic of the need to paint a young Carrie Bradshaw of having fabulous teenage years. If she grows up to be a “the last single girl” at 40 years old who makes poor choices with men, money, and her life the series seems more like a tragedy. 4. The Escapades of Samantha Gort’s portrayal of Samantha is the right blend of a wink and a nod to Catrall’s unique cadence and over the top behavior with a fresh take on the character. Catrall’s Samantha represented successful women with more traditionally "masculine" attitudes on sex. Echoing adult Samantha's business savvy, Gort’s Samantha can scam her way into something fabulous. She isn’t as sex-obsessed as Catrall’s Samantha, but she does have sex pretty indiscriminately in the 1980s with AIDS on the rise. The prospect of Samantha having a ton of sex for 30 years is a little excessive if you stop to think about it. 5. Carrie Doesn’t Struggle at All Adult Carrie is always struggling but handles it with grace. She can’t pay her bills but can use her cache in Manhattan nightlife to still live fabulously. However, young Carrie has no real problems. She’s upper-middle class, is able to accept an internship at Interview magazine during with her school schedule, and she has rich boy after rich boy interested in her. The series is lighthearted and doesn’t really offer Bradshaw any character building struggles. So why is the woman we meet in her adult years so harried? Here's a video that shows all the similarities of the two series.   Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @AbsoluteCintron //