Atlanta is the next stage in Housewives evolution. Just when you think you know exactly what is going to happen these women shock you, finding new ways to be obscenely fabulous and downright trashy at the same time. You would normally expect a ton of clips, boring patter, and Andy smiling while asking mean-spirited viewer questions. But TMZ already broke the story of the physical altercation between Kenya Moore and Porsha Stewart. As such, we don't have to wait until Part 3 of the reunion (and suffer through countless promos) before we reach the fight. These ladies give us exactly what we want when we want it.
Phaedra Parks was her normal sassy self and savvy as ever dodging questions about charges against her husband, Apollo Nida. Kandi Burruss is her normal folksy self… who just got Bravo to pay for her wedding. Cynthia Bailey is as stunningly beautiful as she is boring. The other ladies seem to have gotten a makeover of psychological proportions. Kenya inspired by the success of her fan last season brought an entire bag of tricks including a scepter and bullhorn. Porsha is sassier than we’ve ever seen her. NeNe Leakes seems above the usual Housewife reindeer games. It’s unclear if she is passive-aggressively acting disengaged or if there is another reason behind her indifference.
The Fight Heard Around TMZ
Kenya's latest accessory, a scepter, is an upgrade from her fan from last season’s reunion. But Porsha couldn’t stand her waving it around so much while talking, so she grabbed it and threw it. Not to be outdone, Kenya also brought a bullhorn that she had some technical difficulties assembling. Both ladies debated over Kenya’s infamous, yet unseen, African prince. Porsha called Kenya a “whore from the '90s” and Kenya retorted with, “You are dumb.” Porsha tried to grab the bullhorn and the ladies got into each other faces. Then Porsha lost it and grabbed Kenya’s hair and took her down to the ground and did the weave grab heard around the world. Poor Andy couldn’t stop them.
Kenya, seemingly satisfied, told Porsha she was fired and stormed off set. Now, was Kenya trying to get someone to physically fight with her and get fired? Was she just jockeying for attention with her props? Meanwhile, Porsha lost it and yelled and screamed and cried. NeNe, Phaedra, and Kandi run over to console her. NeNe literally puts her hand over Porsha’s mouth to keep her from embarrassing herself. The ladies reveal they had talked about things before. It’s also really funny to watch NeNe get almost hit in the face by Porsha’s feet not once but twice. Andy checked in with both ladies and told Porsha she should leave to relax and that she would eventually have to apologize to Kenya. Does this mean she's actually fired?
Straight From the Shady Grove
-Andy Cohen forcing the women to watch footage of them twerking.-Kandi responding to NeNe commenting about her “not needing to be eating sandwiches” by pointing at NeNe’s body.-Phaedra’s various side-eyes at Kenya.-Kenya reiterating the Chris Rock joke that she stole in an episode. Who can forget, “Want some d**k? How about some d**k?” It was Rock that wrote it.-Kandi and Phaedra laughing at Kenya while she was fighting.-Andy’s awkward face when dealing with Porsha.
The Real Houselines of the Reunion
"Excuse you! I ate my yams and got my twins. So hello!" – Porsha on her breasts being real
"Do they look new? Smell 'em. They smell new." – Porsha on her breasts being fake
"Cynthia may be able to walk a runway but the twerk needs some work." – NeNe
"Velvet was probably one of her only friends." – Phaedra
"Are you my momma? You’re nobody’s momma." – Phaedra
"If that touches me it’s going up your ass, b**ch." – Porsha
"She is such a clown." – Kandi talking about Kenya
"I would like Porsha to spell 'scepter.'" – Kenya
"It’s interesting that the people that laughed the hardest at me last year. You know karma has done what it’s needed to do." – Kenya
"Your vagina is so rotten no one will claim you." – Porsha
"That’s why I didn’t want to be in that seat." – Phaedra right after the fight
"I can’t believe that ratchet hoe made me go there." – Porsha
Celebrities always thank their moms at awards shows, but some of these mothers have been especially instrumental in their children’s careers. Be the mothers figures of adversity, celebrities in their own right, or simply just strong, supportive, caring role models, there's no denying how big an impact they've made on their children.
Here are just a few of the most impressive moms behind some of our favorite stars.
GALLERY: The Very Best Mothers Behind Our Favorite Celebrities
Universal via Everett Collection
RuPaul’s Drag Race has brought the drag subculture into the national spotlight. It has not only educated America on gay issues and the important distinction between drag queens, transvestites, and transgendered women, it also has provided the gay community with their own Super Bowl. But before Drag Race, there were a handful of films that introduced America to drag.
Not all of these films exactly "helped" the cause, sometimes using drag as a joke. On the one hand, just approaching the subject did open up a dialogue about feminism, homosexuality, and gender. However, many of these films used homosexuality as a punch line as characters get uncomfortable with same sex attention. They also tend to trivialize the experience of actual transgendered individuals.
But since audiences have become savvier and drag has become more respected, the drag genre has given us some more admirable entries. Now, the more ignorant attempts, like the short-lived sitcom Work It!, are met with contempt. Instead of having heterosexual men and women don drag for comedic effect, actual drag performers can play legitimate roles in films and television series. It’s also pretty great to see actors play the opposite sex. Times are changing.
Here are some of the most memorable uses of drag in movies:
GALLERY: Best Use of Drag in Movies
In the latest episode of Real Housewives of New York City, the ladies seem like they may be taking a brief trip down to the Valley of the Dolls (and packing a lot of pharmaceuticals for the trip). There is something real and entertaining about New York City, pills and all. But the special guest appearance of Brandi Glanville and Yolanda Foster brings out the Beverly Hills in the Manhattan women.
The episode begins with Ramona Singer, the Eyelander, returning from her trip to Africa. It seems like she traveled by way of Darvocet as she literally stumbles into the party. Heather Thomson is shockingly excited to see her considering how much they fought last season. (Is that a Zoloft hug?) Heather is hawking jewelry but for a worthwhile charity. Despite her ghetto posturing, Heather seems the most real and her struggles with her son’s health issues are heartwarming. She tells Ramona about her beef with Aviva Drescher from last week. However, Ramona is suddenly team Aviva despite not the two having spent a year not speaking to each other. It’s strange Heather is uninviting Aviva from her anniversary party after she didn’t invite Ramona to London last season. Hello, hypocrisy.
Sonja Morgan arrives at the party with a stunning body. Looks like she’s a Dexetrim spokesperson. She is also surprisingly alert. Ramona recounts a story of two lions mating when desperate LuAnn Lesseps stops by to greet her. It’s a subtle reminder that to LuAnn that she is no longer welcome in conversations with Ramona. She comes second to lion mating. Meanwhile, Carole Radziwill discusses orgasms with LuAnn’s boyfriend Jacques and oral sex contracts with Kristin Taekman and her husband.
In boring product placement news, Aviva, Sonja, and Ramona meet at a store that sells containers to go shopping. Meanwhile, Heather hires Kristen to model for her shapewear line. Ramona tries to negotiate a détente. Cut to Kristen and Carole meeting Heather’s husband Jonathan to help him pick out caviar for their anniversary. Meanwhile, starving children in Africa are wondering if Carole had a ghostwriter. Watching Carole scowl as she eats caviar is cruel and unusual punishment. An unabashed conversation about threesomes is not enough to save this entire scene from the Downton Abbey-level class insensitivity.
The confrontation finally arrives. Heather comes in, guns-a-blazin' to deal with Aviva. To put her opponent off she has elected use a weird folksy southern drawl, dropping a lot of y’alls and darlins. Aviva — trained by her all-female improv group Girls Just Want to Have Puns — does nothing but ask questions. Things get kooky and dramatic as they debate Anna Nicole Smith, name-dropping colleges vs. name-dropping rappers, and BookGate. They make peace because Aviva doesn’t is scared because she believe Heather shot Coolio.
Speaking of pills, Ramona and her soon-to-be ex-husband Mario discuss Avery going off to college. Maneater Carole and Kristen decide to have a boozy brunch with ex-substance abuser Brandi and fellow Beverly Hills housewife Yolanda. Carole confesses she took a Xanax (which, in Upper West Side Elfish, means seven Xanax), two klonopin, and a can of Ensure. They discuss Kristen nearly cheating on her husband with an Elvis impersonator at her bachelorette party. It seems like her marriage is on its last legs. Between their not having sex and their constant bickering, here’s hoping there’s a pre-nup.
Heather’s party arrives and is sponsored, shamelessly, by Ciroc. Ramona and Sonja boycott because Aviva wasn’t invited. Meanwhile, Heather shows up fighting with her husband. Heather takes a long break from celebrating her wedding anniversary by trashing Ramona and her “Singer Stinger.” Coincidentally, Ramona was born with an enlarged coccyx... so that’s really insensitive, Heather! Heather gets her caviar and they all close out the night dancing around awkwardly, junior prom-style. Did they all take a few tablets of E?
Best Lines of the Episode
"Did I scream? Did I yell? Did I call you names? I just took it up the butt." – Aviva
"I never verbally raped Aviva. She’s the one who verbally rapes people. I keep it real. If you don’t want to hear the truth then you better not invite me to the party." – Heather
"You want to ask me one more time 'cause you’re so f**king dramatic?" – Heather
"That’s my career. Why don’t you get a job?" – Heather
"You say you don’t have to defend Carole. Are you guys lovers?" – Aviva
"I’m worried that Josh and Kristen are going to hit a rough patch. She should probably just practice blowies. That’s what men really want, don’t they? They don’t call it a job for nothing." – Carole’s personal widow’s guide to sex and dating
"You’re still married and I’m getting divorced." – Kristen
"Holla that b**ches!" – Heather reading our minds
The Real Housewives of Atlanta changed the Bravo TV franchise forever. After putting the Southern locale center stage, the Housewives brand became more Bad Girls Club than Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous. When the franchise first started it was about women feigning opulence and slamming each other at fancy lunches. Thanks to these Georgia peaches the series morphed into a hair-pulling, insult spewing shade-fest that has incurred ratings success and major attention.
But in taking a look at the women who have earned this reputation, it is tough to determine who is the most trashy, ratchet, classless... you get the idea. Although none of these ladies veers into posh territory, some go above and beyond, with extra-marital affairs, felonious businesses, and smoking Newports. We’ve ranked all the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta to determine the hierarchy of tackiness.
11. DeShawn Snow
DeShawn gets a pass because she is smart in how she handles her time on the show. She wasn’t ratings gold because she kept her private life private. She did have a major divorce from husband Eric Snow when he cheated and left her for another woman. However, she lost 30 pounds, continues to work with her foundation, and has released some children’s books. That’s not half bad.
10. Kenya Moore
It’s a little controversial to have Kenya so high on this list. Kenya may be conniving, with questionable moral fiber, and a troublemaker, but she behaves in a pretty dignified manner. Unlike other housewives, she lives within her means. It doesn’t look like any repo men will be knocking at her door. Her music video wasn't a production value powerhouse. But, hey, she hasn’t had any businesses go into foreclosure or a criminal record, so she's doing okay. Considering her issues with her mother and her verbally abusive father, she often is pretty composed, and even slightly respectful even during a fight. Despite a major altercation in the Season 6 reunion special, Kenya is the one who gets attacked.
9. Porsha Stewart
Is Porsha too stupid to be judged harshly? When she arrives on the show she has a very unhealthy relationship with Kordell Stewart but she doesn’t really play the reindeer games the other ladies do. She does call Kenya ashy in a hilarious moment but she doesn’t really go to the gutter level. However, with her position on the show in jeopardy she quickly ups the ante. She’s currently on the cusp of being fired for getting physical with Kenya Moore. She also has bought into the "fake it 'til you make it" mentality, living in a huge house and shopping left and right without much money. Let’s also not forget Kordell talking about her evictions and her mother eating an entire pepperoni pizza on his bed.
8. Lisa Wu
The level of Lisa’s trashiness is up in the air. While she was on the show she was presented as a successful businesswoman and mother. She was often a voice of reason and it was only on the reunion special that she threatened to attack Kim Zolciak. However, most of the businesses she was plugging on the show are not in existence today. Also, she has two divorces under her belt, including one with Keith Sweat, who has custody of their two children. She's no longer with Ed Hartwell, her husband on Real Housewives. It’s not quite clear what is happening behind closed doors, but is there a reason she doesn't have custody of her children?
7. Cynthia Bailey
Cynthia is tough to categorize. She’s well composed, polished, and stunningly beautiful. She often seems above all the petty fighting and bickering. However, her husband Peter Thomas hardly helps her cause. He’s the one who makes questionable business decisions, yells at her on camera, and is always ready for a fight. Still, even if Cynthia was as ratchet as her husband she wouldn’t be close to some of the other women on the show. So maybe she gets a pass. After all, her modeling school does seem somewhat legit, right?
6. Kandi Burruss
Kandi has always been the most successful and composed of the housewives. However, this season we saw what lies beneath. First, her mother starts a potential fist fight at her wedding dress fitting. Now that isn’t ratchet behavior by Kandi but it is definitely a clue. When a fight breaks out at NeNe’s pajama drama jam things get ugly fast and Kandi shows she’s more hood than she looks. So it seems like when she's talked about clocking girls... she might have been serious. A girl knows how to fight.
5. NeNe Leakes
NeNe often hides her trashy behavior behind her alternate personality, NayNay. She can afford to drop the attitude occasionally and be the original real NeNe we fell in love with. She has the distinction of having fought with every housewife on the seriesm, along with Latoya Jackson and Star Jones. She also doesn't care who, when, or where she's going off on someone. Some of these fights have even gone physical. Plus, despite how exemplary she and her husband Gregg Leakes seem to be at parenting, their son did wind up in the slammer jail.
4. Kim Zolciack-Beerman
Where do we begin with Kim? Is it the Kim with the super fake looking synthetic hair who changed into a trashy mini-dress in a parking lot? Or the woman with the notorious family issues including children by three different fathers? Or do we look at the woman who profited off of a song without giving any money to her producers? Let’s also not forget that Kim had a long time affair with her sugar daddy Big Poppa, Lee Najjar, who was married at the time.
3. Marlo Hampton
Marlo was arrested seven times! 'Nuff said.
2. Phaedra Parks
Phaedra is one of the most fun characters on the show. However, she does have a lot going on. Her public face is mother of two, businesswoman, lawyer, and Southern belle. But, occasionally, there is a side of her that comes out that puts her public face in question. For example, how much of a high-class celebrity lawyer can she be if she’s representing a guy with tinted windows and taking her payment in cash in the courthouse parking lot. Her possibly soon-to-be ex-husband Apollo Nida is in trouble with the law again. There is even a tell-all by Angela Stanton called Lies of a Real Housewife: Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil. The book alleges that Phaedra was the mastermind behind the charges that Stanton and Nida were charged with. Occasionally, Phaedra’s façade cracks and we see what she's really like underneath. See for yourself:
1. Sheree Whitfield
Congratulations Sheree! Not only is so much of her “success” questionable, but she will also get roughneck when she needs to. Both She by Sheree and Château Sheree were a huge bust. She got into multiple fights with her fellow housewives, all beginning with the pulling of Kim’s wig). Her appearance on Iyanla: Fix My Life didn’t make anything better. It looks like the only one who is going to check her... is herself.
Miramax via Everett Collection
America is tame when it comes to sex and nudity. Audiences can see every variety of violence, but a little nudity can drastically change the rating of a film or television show. It can be pretty shocking to see your favorite actor totally nude. So much so that the very idea is tantilizing enough to get us interested in a film.
In fact, many a nude scene has helped to boost a career, or instill a film with a heightened degree of gravitas. Here some of the best and most notable nude scenes from male actors:
GALLERY: The Best Male Nude Scenes in Movies
Capping off a disjointed season of Real Housewives of Atlanta is a finale that is no better. Granted, it’s a palette cleanser for the inevitable Porsha Stewart vs. Kenya Moore battle. Their physical altercation has galvanized the tabloids and who isn’t dying to see it. However, knowing Bravo, it will air in the third part of the reunion but will be in every single reunion promo.
It’s weird to center an entire episode on Kandi Burruss’ musical A Mother's Shame: Public Embarrassment Edition. Sure, Kandi is a great musician, producer, businesswoman, and reality personality. Plus, with NeNe so self-obsessed, Kandi is a refreshing dose of realness. However, she needs to stop selling things. Bethenny Frankel is the only Housewife to establish a brand and sell a product on Bravo without feeling so tacky. Everyone else tries but it just gets sloppy and excessive. The Kandi Factory was not entertaining and left Kandi with a poorly designed studio. However, she lucked out and Bravo will be paying for her wedding in her spin-off, Marital Warfare: My Momma Be Crazy.
Had they aired Kandi’s full musical with a higher production value in its entirety, it would have added a sense of legitimacy to the production. It’s great that Kandi and new husband Todd Tucker successfully produced a musical, even though he spent the whole episode asking questions. But airing parts of the musical out of context with a very shady audience cam was just boring. The reaction cam pointed at Kandi’s mother Momma Joyce was downright uncomfortable. Sadly, Momma Joyce hated the whole show, but suffered through. You don’t have to be a body language expert to read that smug smirk. However, she said she enjoyed it. She also admitted they can “agree to disagree.” Sorry, Todd. But, hey, Tyler Perry showed up so all is right in the world.
Kandi did have a conversation with Todd about a prenuptial showing she has her stuff together. Her father, Titus, is such an amazing gentleman, congratulating her with an inspiring speech; he is by far one of the best men on the show. It looks like the only opportunist in the family is Kandi's mother, because she was quick to shut up once she realized Kandi is definitely marrying Todd. After all, she wants to keep getting those checks.
Porsha wasn’t the best in the musical but did manage to make peace with Lark, the stage manager (our favorite part of the episode). She lays it out for Porsha because Porsha needs to be more professional. If only Lark could yell at her about her divorce. What is interesting is despite getting an expensive house and having no real source of income she refused to fight for alimony at all. Kordell must have some dirt on her because she opted out of the fight pretty easily.
Kenya Moore had a memorial service for her dog Velvet. It was a little dramatic to see her lose it but it felt very genuine. Sadly, Cynthia was the only one who showed up. She embarrassed herself by trying to hold her dog the whole time and calling Velvet male. To further embarrass herself she planned a bizarre seduction scenario. What better way to be sexy than to involve your sister, fill the apartment with votive candles, and smoke a Black n’ Mild cigarillo? Luckily, Peter Thomas laughed as much as we did.
Phaedra Parks got a cake decorated by her son Aiden. It was to celebrate her graduation from mortuary school. Maybe Aiden will decorate a cake for his dad when he goes to trial for criminal fraud charges.
NeNe wasn’t really in this episode. According to her, she had multiple blood clots in her lungs. It seems strange to have a pulmonary embolism and a collapsed lung and then enter a dancing competition.
To appease absolutely no one for the lack of NeNe, Andy Cohen had a one-on-one interview with her. In it, she discussed what we all know: She has absolutely no loyalty. She turned on Cynthia, the last of her remaining friends. Cynthia honestly took a lot of abuse this season. She must have seen it, questioned their friendship, and brought it up at the reunion. NeNe, in true puppet master fashion, did not answer any questions directly but did imply Cynthia should be fired.
Best Lines of the Finale
"Honey, try having a vagina for one day." – Phaedra’s answer to feminism
"All I need now is my sexy Jamaican coffee with no cream. Well, maybe a little bit of cream." – Cynthia is really bad at pillow talk
"The geritol gang." – Phaedra’s great name for Momma Joyce and her sisters
TriStar Pictures via Everett Collection
Although cinematic nudity is often looked at as gratuitous, some nude scenes can really define a movie. What would Basic Instinct be without Sharon Stone’s infamous leg-crossing scene? Would The Wolf of Wall Street have been as effective with a more "conservative" temperament? But of course we can also admire these elements for their aesthetic charms. Here are just a few of the most notable fully nude scenes on the silver screen.
GALLERY: The Sexiest Nude Scenes in Film History (Female Edition)
In this week's episode of Real Housewives of New York City, the ladies head to the Hamptons to celebrate Sonja Morgan’s cabaret burlesque poetry slam. When did doing improvised poetry in lingerie become an art form? More importantly, when did Sonja become J.P. Craigslist? She "hires" an entire free labor squad of teenagers. Hopefully they are film students and can document her madness in Grey Gardens II: The Wrath of Cans.
Aviva Drescher is fighting with Carole Radziwill over whose book is most worthy of the bargain bin. Heather Thomson will remind anyone who will listen that she used to work for P. Diddy. Meanwhile, this season’s editors are the shadiest in Housewife history. Exiled housewife LuAnn "Desperate for Cash" Lesseps keeps getting called a drag queen within tongue-in-cheek edits. And Ramona Singer, a.k.a. Eye-lander the Last Original Wife, is in Africa delivering Pinto Grigio to starving children.
The ladies go to a barbeque at LuAnn’s house. It’s nice of them to keep her on the show since she lost her Jitney bus pass in her divorce and is hardly in the city. Aviva’s “friend” and “image consultant,” Amanda Sanders, tags along. Is she yet another woman Harry Dubin has slept with? Why is she there? She mentions decking Heather, and Heather gets into her face (let's applaud her for that). She’s prepping for the release of her rap album under the name DJ Heather Tho. Her first single “Shove It In Yo Spanx” features lyrics like the following...
I’m chillin in the city and I’m Heather ThoMy Yummy Yummy Spanx will fix your camel toe. Holla!
Sadly, this is not the case...
Heather wants Amanda out, but the drunk girl insists on being inserted into Aviva and Carole’s quiet discussion. Doesn’t she realize their conversation is so boring that the camera crew has submitted to filming LuAnn serve cake? Plus, let’s face it: Bookgate is a little ridiculous. Even though Carole probably had some significant help in writing her book, she was highly condescending to Aviva. On the other hand, Aviva came out of left field with her book deal and was doling out hearsay on reality television. Even if Carole’s books are copies of Fifty Shades of Grey with her name written on them in crayon, it’s a capital crime in reality TV to air out dirty laundry on television... at least without saying "allegedly" a lot.
Things get weird fast. A drunk Sonja is dancing around the table and claims to have peed. Her poor interns sit there knowing they’ll have to clean her. Meanwhile, a conversation between Heather and Aviva escalates as Aviva’s mild-mannered husband Reid randomly chimes in. Correction: yells in. NeNe Leakes may want to talk to him about entering women’s business. Apparently, he was witness to “multiple sources” talking about Carole’s book. He also said she was fat and had no friends and shops at Ross Dress for Less, so he may not be reliable. Aviva, Reid, and Amanda yell at Heather until she decides to ride dirty, delivering a cuss-filled tirade to Aviva. The entire cast treats Heather like some sort of gangster; she worked for Diddy and Beyonce’s luxury clothing line, but they are acting like she shot Tupac. (Racism, anyone?) LuAnn asks everyone to leave because she has a lot of not-starring-on-the-show to do in the morning.
Aviva Drescher’s Passive-Aggressive Book Tour
Aviva goes to brunch at Sonja’s to recap the fight. Sonja loses a tooth, and possibly her mind. The two get a facial together, then she takes her children to a craft shop to be taken care of by a random woman while she and her husband have a conversation. Becky, the friend who cost Aviva her leg, emails her, probably to discuss the paperwork she had to sign to be discussed in Aviva’s book. Aviva wants to pour salt on a 34-year-old wound by making this poor woman relieve this traumatic event. Aviva swears she doesn’t hold a grudge but makes sure lay the guilt on thick. Either Aviva’s expensive therapy is paying off or she has been drying her tears with her book advance check because she seems thrilled to discuss the events of that day. Meanwhile, her poor friend has to relive these memories on national TV.
The Mermaid Sisterhood and Crabs
Carole is being honored as the Queen of Coney Island’s Mermaid Parade, and don’t you forget it. All the ladies get ready for the parade but J.P. Craigslist strikes again. She has a random designer (a.k.a. student) arrive to help her make a homespun costume. The ladies show up including Kristen Taekman. Taekman is awesome and honestly feels like the new Bethenny because she is just a snarky witness to the madness. The ladies decide to ride with drag queens, and the LuAnn jokes keep coming. Finally, to prove she is above the whole Bookgate drama, Carole reads a poem. It’s a poem she wrote... because she is a writer... and a better one than Aviva is. The ladies read the poem and Carole declares them part of the Mermaid Sisterhood. Would this be of the traveling pants variety?
They all say goodbye as LuAnn excuses herself to swim back to The Hamptons.
The Real House-lines of NYC
"Deck me, big bad girl. Bring it!" – More of Heather’s freestyling lyrics
"She loud, she obnoxious, she got opinions about everybody. She’s drunk. She’s sloppy. So take your sloppy ass on home." – Even more of Heather’s lyrics
"I just peed my panties and I don’t have any on!" – Mother of the Year: Sonja
"You are full of empty bulls**t. Nobody likes you. Nobody wants to be around you. Don’t tell me anything, mother f**ker. Don’t mother f**kin' tell me nothin’." – Heather keeping it real
"I’ve been going to the Hamptons for a long time, and I have never heard anybody say that at a party." – Kristen proving she’s the new Bethenny
"If anyone’s going to understand losing a body part, it’s Aviva." – Sonja
"Think abundance, have abundance. Oh my god, I got to hide the vibrator." – Sonja’s morning prayer
As far as season finales go, this one is full of major drama, two major villains, and two character deaths. However, there is a bit of sloppy storytelling, and a few too many loose ends. In lieu of dangling cliffhangers, things seem to be conveniently dropped or forgotten altogether. But otherwise, we have an eventful hour to cap this season.
Bo must contend with her father arriving priority mail from a Hell dimension. Meanwhile, Lauren is in the clutches of Massimo, who is consumed by Fae abilities that are turning him into the basic cable version of Gollum. His mother Evony becomes human, thanks to some quick-thinking by Lauren.
The End of Massimo the Mother Lover
Massimo takes Lauren hostage. He stops by the Dal to gloat. He wants to kills Bo so he will win his mother’s love. Meanwhile, his mother is giving some major flirty love to Trick. It’s bizarre that, now that she’s human, they seem to be having some major chemistry. Is this foreshadowing that maybe they will knock boots and end the Light/Dark system forever?
Massimo kills Rainer and gets his ability of foresight. This happens so early, leaving Rainer without the ability to play into any of the events of the season finale. It’s kind of cheap to introduce a character and have such little pay off; Rainer was really just a red herring for Bo’s dad.
Speaking of which, Bo takes a break from her daddy drama to stop by and take on Massimo. She tries to steal his chi, but in doing so gives him her ability. He starts sucking Evony’s chi and can’t stop. Bo offers to bring her back which makes Massimo lets his guard down. Then she royally kicks his behind and kills him. She saves Lauren and confesses her love. With Rainer dead it looks like they’re back together. But why were they broken up in the first place? Bo sort of dropped Dyson and Lauren when Rainer entered the picture. Why are they so happy to take her back?
Daddy Issues of Cataclysmic Proportions
Speaking of Dyson, he declares fealty to Bo as his Queen. Trick finally reveals the secrets of Bo’s blood: Aife has the Light Fae blood like her father, but Bo’s dad is the reason she can take chi from multiple people and heal with it. But wasn’t Aife also able to heal people with chi? This whole quick exposition is a little sloppy and hopefully it gets resolved next season. Plus, where is Aife? Inga Cadranel is on Orphan Black so it’s unclear whether Trick killed her and she’s off the show or if she’s just lying in wait.
Bo’s dad’s hell portal is open and sending out an army of revenants. Kenzi stumbles on a prophesy and realizes how to stop this Hell Mouth. She sacrifices herself to save the world and save Bo. It’s an amazing heartfelt moment as Kenzi does a fierce runway walk into the portal. She reasons that Tamsin will take her to Valhalla.
So we don’t get to meet Bo’s dad or see Bo save the world. Instead, we lose the show’s best character. Bo spends the entire ending ugly-crying. Dyson finds Tamsin collapsed in front of a snowy gate. Are these the gates to Valhalla? She tells him Bo must not find the other Hell shoe. Bo talks to Kenzi’s grave and says, “It’s them who should be afraid…of me.” But who is they?
What happened to Trick’s evil makeover? Will he pay for his sins? Is he going to face the music for his crimes against the Fae?
Will Aife ever return? If Trick killed her, that’s pretty major and unforgivable.
What was the whole point of Rainer, and why was he significant to Bo’s father’s curse? It isn’t clear who or what trapped Bo’s father in Hell.
What happened to Vex?
What is the state of the Dark Fae now that Evony is human?
How are these people able to travel around? Did Dyson go to the entrance of Valhalla? If so, how did he get there?
What is the significance of the hell shoe? Doesn’t Trick have the other shoe?
Succu-Best Lines of the Night
"Now your only way of being immortal is someone writing a s**tty pop song about you. Hmmm?" – Lauren to Massimo
"What is with all the punching? Now I finally understand what 'Not in the face' means." – Evony
"Champers to the Doctor and her miracle snatch." – Evony on becoming human
Tamsin: "Well that was awkward." / Kenzi: "Armageddon can be. Just ask Ben and Liv."
"B**ch is just a word men use when they’re threatened by the chick in charge." – Evony on feminism
"If your grandslaughter’s dad is who you’re too scared to say he is, we’re all going to be Bo-bequed anyway." – Evony’s recap of the problem