Breakups are tough enough for us regular people. Not only do we lose relationships, but sometimes our residences, possessions, and even friends. It's even twice as hard for celebrities, though — when Hollywood couples split, so many times one of them fades into oblivion while the other ascends to super stardom. Imagine having to deal with that next time you're stressing over bumping into your ex at the California Pizza Kitchen.
Check out our gallery of celebs whose relationships took a turn for the sour... and whose careers followed suit.
GALLERY: Celebrities Who Became More Famous Than Their Exes
Happy Real Housewives Finale Eve! If you’ve made it to this point, you’ve somehow survived all of this season's the shade, and its nearly insufferable "filler" moments. Yes, this season has felt overdone with uninteresting downtime material. Hell, Phaedra Parks wasn’t even in the episode which means there weren’t as many great quotable moments. But on we go, into the penultimate episode, wondering what madness they have in store for us this week.
Porsha Stewart is busy in the recording studio singing her requisite Real Housewife song. Let’s face it... she’s not going to write a book. However, she “wrote” a ballad. If she wants record sales, why not an auto-tuned pop song? How about a diva dance track, "Underground Train to Your Heart"? Kandi Burruss shows up to tell her that she has to actually show up to rehearsals. It’s so sweet that Porsha calls rehearsals "play practice."
Rehearsals have started at the Rialto Theater and things are getting serious. However, Porsha doesn’t even grasp the fact that she’s in a professional, high-profile musical. Iark, the stage manager, pulls Porsha aside and gives her a side eye for the ages. Such perfectly executed ocular shade, plus a fair knowledge of music, could make her a worthy contender in the Real Housewives world. We wouldn't mind a spin-off wherein Iark spends full episodes calling Housewives out on their B.S.
Over in Kandi's story, Momma Joyce has not realized that she is the only opportunist in her daughter Kandi’s life. She’s living in her old house and getting paid to star on the show to trash her daughter. As such, Kandi brings in a family counselor. Joyce shares some of her concerns, including the fact that Kandi has gained 30 pounds. After seeing some of the musical, she and Todd have a brief moment together. It looks like there might finally be a détente. Sure, she does admit that she does not respect him at all, but he does still seem genuinely interested in connecting with her.
In more filler news, money manager extraordinaire Peter Thomas is still keeping secrets from Cynthia Bailey. They’re in financial trouble... again. Bar One is in danger of foreclosure. They might lose their business along with their other space Industry Studios. They should have just named the building For Lease or Foreclose and save money on the sign.
NeNe Leakes meets with her manager to plug her upcoming fashion line with the Home Shopping Network. She also brags about all the acting opportunities she’s passed on. Is this not the woman currently on Dancing with the Stars? It’s strange that she has a holier-than-thou attitude about acting projects when her one permanent acting job was canceled. Her attitude stinks. She says she’s not willing to go to acting classes every week. This new NeNe is not the NeNe of the people we fell for. She lost that raw and real personality we had come to love. For example, when meeting with her designers she was nothing but rude and dismissive of the people designing her clothes. She was not positive or constructive in any way.
Meanwhile, the person deserving of some serious dramatic roles is Kenya Moore. She’s had some pretty dynamic moments on the show. Sadly, she and America lost Velvet, her cute little dog. Luckily her surrogate mother Aunt Lori was there to take care of her. She tells Cynthia and Kandi, and Cynthia gives her the most disingenuous yelp of surprise in reality TV history. She decides she wants to have a memorial service and not invite some of the other ladies. Her emotional vulnerability really does make Kenya more likable.
Best Lines of the Night
"I didn’t stop liking you... I stopped respecting you." – Momma Joyce
Phaedra: "You can’t put something in there that doesn’t belong in there." / Apollo: "Okay, well we tried."
Porsha: "And we supposed to be singing, and acting, and, you know, staying in character at the same time?" Kandi: "That’s what you do in a musical."
"You may be grown, Miss Lena, but I’ll still smack the taste out your mouth." – Line from Kandi’s play
In the 15 years ago since Queer as Folk premiered on Showtime, a great deal has changed in the depiction of gay characters and relationships on television. The modern classic series, which followed a circle of gay friends in working class Pittsburgh, was a definitively important elemenet in this shift, and stands as a precedent for today's more progressive programs like Looking, True Blood, and even Game of Thrones.
Queer as Folk showcased a bustling gay community that glorified sexual comfort. Comedian Hal Sparks played central character Michael who, along with his best friend/eternal crush Brian (Gale Harold), would try to navigate single life with a little help from their friends. Brian had a complicated life that included a teen paramour, Justin (Randy Harrison), a child with his lesbian friend Lindsay (Thea Gill), and an endless array of sex partners.
Despite having premiered a decade and a half ago, the series still stands up the test of time. It was cutting edge in exploring the issues of HIV, homophobia, and even auto-erotic asphyxiation on one occasion. The series shows the ups and downs of life, but with a particular sensitivity to the gay community, like finding a partner who is out, navigating open relationships, and handling dating someone who is HIV-positive. The series also has the kingpin of supportive TV parents in Debbie Novotny (Sharon Gless). There are also notable guest appearances by Rosie O’Donnell, Matt Battaglia, and Chris Potter.
Over the course of the five seasons the show was on the air, in managed to foster new attitudes toward the depiction of homosexuality in television. Queer as Folk showed that the gay community deserved to be included in our national pasttime of soapy WTF moments, cheesy storylines, and onscreen sexual charisma. The show might seem problematic by today's more progressive standars by portraying some corners of gay society as promiscuous, hard partying, and drugged up. But it did open up the doors so that all of the gay community could eventually find its way on television.
Check out Queer as Folk on Netflix.
United Artists via Everett Collection
It can feel tacky to admit that you appreciate a good movie sex scene. However, sex scenes aren’t just for shock and titillation. They can also be a vehicle to tell a story, or convey a message about our society or the human condition. Lars von Trier is currently using an insane amount of sex in his film series Nymphomaniac to deliver thoughts about what it means to "feel." His is just one of many films that broke ground and changed history.
GALLERY: Movie Sex Scenes that Changed Film History
Continuum is an insanely addictive sci-fi action series from Canada. Like Lost Girl, the series is edgier than your typical American show. It puts a bizarre spin on its use of time travel. In the year 2077, big business has taken over and instituted a police state. There is no longer such a thing as privacy or free thought. Laws are enforced by Protectors of the City Protective Services (CPS). Meanwhile, the questionably titled terrorist group, Liber8, is trying to undermine the stronghold of big business.
Kiera Cameron (Rachel Nichols) is a committed policewoman and military veteran. She gets pulled through time and space when Liber8 uses a time travel device to go to the year 2012. Armed with knowledge of the future and its unique gifts, the only one able to stop them is Kiera, equipped with a cybernetic suit and Swiss-army gun. All the while, she struggles with having left her family in the past (or future).
The first two seasons are available on Netflix. However, if you want to jump right into Season 3 we’ve got everything you need to know be caught up on the series. (Obviously, this breakdown includes major spoilers).
Kiera is shocked to find herself in the year 2012. Her suit and brain implant, CMR, get its wires crossed with a teenage boy’s computer. That boy, Alec Sadler (Erik Knudsen), will be the father of an entire age of technology. With Alec’s hacking at her disposal, Kiera uses her knowledge of Liber8 to help the police. Her cover is the bizarre premise of made up secret part of the government. She partners with Vancouver police detective Carlos Fonnegra (Victor Webster).
Under the leadership of Edouard Kagame (Tony Amendola), Liber8 tries to change the future by murdering people and destroying businesses in 2012. Meanwhile, reluctant Liber8 member Matthew Kellog (Stephen Lobo) goes solo and uses his knowledge of the future to succeed financially. Kagame sacrifices himself to ensure that his plans to change the future come to fruition.
The season culminates in an epic terrorist act. Kiera suddenly remembers a terrorist attack that occurred in her original timeline's version of 2012: the major explosion costs Kagame his life. Alec unlocks a secret message in Kiera’s memory. Alec, in the future, is instrumental in sending Kiera and Liber8 into the past. Meanwhile, Alec’s step-brother is the father of the Liber8 movement and Alec loses his step-father in a major confrontation. Finally, in a complete WTF shocker, Kiera sleeps with Kellog. The question arises: was Kiera always meant to visit the past? Is she ensuring the future with her family will exist or is she changing it with every act she does?
The second season finds a couple of changes. Kiera’s suit is no longer bronze but a darker black (to match her new attitude). She’s committed to getting home by any means necessary. Kellog is using his finances to influence Alec by building him a lab. Kiera also learns that a few other people from the future came back through time, including her partner from 2077. But they arrived at different times. Her partner dies of old age, leaving behind an extra super suit. The other future survivor is Jason (Ian Tracey).
Liber8 is having some internal battles. Sonya Valentine (Lexa Doig) was appointed by Kagame but Travis Verta (Roger Cross) has the most leader potential. They jockey for control over Alec’s step-brother Theseus. They also try and get Jim Martin (Tahmoh Penikett) elected into government.
Meanwhile, a third group of time travelers, Freelancers, are slowly cropping up. They blow Kiera’s cover with the police department. There also is the mysterious figure known as Escher (Hugh Dillon) who tries to enlist Kiera’s help. It turns out he’s Alec’s father, Alec’s girlfriend is a spy, and Jason is Alec’s son from the future. The season ends with Kiera offered a chance to go back home using Escher’s resources and the time travel device. However, Alec’s girlfriend is killed so he uses the device to go back in time. Trapped in the present Kiera is apprehended by the Freelancers and imprisoned to no longer make any changes to the timeline.
How will Kiera get out of the hands of Freelancers? Is Alec the evil mastermind capable of ruining Kiera’s life or is he a victim of all this time traveling? Find out when Season 3 begins on Syfy.
TriStar Pictures via Everett Collection
Part of what makes action movies universally appealing is if they have that little something extra. Superhero movies can blends mythical worlds and science fiction with collateral damage. Some bring in the visceral thrill of revenge. Some lighten the mood with a healthy dose of comedy. Some just have a lot of really impressive visuals. Although plenty of action movies are brain dead duds, there are plenty that have enough humanity, charm, and intelligence to enjoy with your action-hesitant significant other.
Here are some of the best action movies that have a little bit more than just shoot-'em-ups and car explosions. They add a little something extra to the genre that allows for date friendly entertainment.
GALLERY: Action Movies for Date Night
Lost Girl’s creators are pulling no punches with WTF moments. If you’re still reeling from losing Hale last episode, you should prepare yourself for more shock and awe succubus style. This episode ties up a few loose ends that have been looming around all season in one epic package. What did Lauren do with Evony’s DNA? Who took the Una Mens seed? What will happen to Kenzi and Bo now that Hale is gone?
The episode begins at Hale’s funeral with Dyson giving a eulogy. Kenzi is miserable and Bo tries to make her feel better. But how can you help someone when they’ve lost the love of their life? Their tender moment is ruined by a random warrior that shows up promising fealty to her queen: Bo. Can Kenzi catch a break? This season has felt like Bo constantly doing her own thing and leaving Kenzi to deal with problems on her own. After all, did we forget that the Dark and the Una Mens wanted to kill Kenzi?
Kenzi convinces Bo to promise she will kill Massimo. They go with Dyson to Massimo’s lair. However, he convinces everyone he has a major prophecy about Rainer. Apparently, Rainer is cursed to die. He also convinces Dyson to take him to Trick. Kenzi refuses to accept that Massimo is getting a reprieve. She asks Vex for help in killing him. Vex agrees. However, things change when they arrive at Massimo’s lair.
Vex betrays Kenzi because Massimo’s mother abandoned him. Apparently, Vex gave his blood oath to be Massimo’s guardian. Talk about deep secrets! It seems strange for someone so savage to have a soft spot for Massimo. However, Massimo gets a call from his mother and leaves. Kenzi ends up back at home and just flat out asks Bo to unclaim her. Maybe she can leave this whole Fae world of drama.
Bo and Rainer
Bo’s crazy stalker, Rosette, is one of Rainer’s soldiers. She has promised her featly to Bo because apparently Bo is The Queen. Sort of in the same way that Neo is The One in The Matrix. Apparently, there is a prophesy involving Bo, Rainer, and the Pyripuss. Everything that has happened to this point is a sign. Rainer is cursed and there is a second curse. There is also some strange horse worshipping lady cult.
This prophecy stuff is sort of sloppy. It’s 85 percent clear that Rainer is not Bo’s father and therefore not the big bad. Dyson brings one of Hale’s heirlooms to Bo. It reveals some secrets about the prophesy. Bo, Rainer, and Rosette misguidedly storm the horse lady cult. They hear something about hand fasting from a dying priestess. Rosette convinces Bo to marry Rainer to keep him from dying and break the curse. Why is Bo still listening to total strangers? This constant betrayal thing is getting old. Shocker! Rosette was lying and their marriage will free the Pyripuss. He’s a villain so badass he sets Rosette on fire remotely. Talk about telecommuting.
Lauren and Evony
Lauren and the Morrigan have the best storyline of the episode and possibly the season. Team Lorrigan! Lauren is snooping in the dark archives and finds some information about the prophesy and she also overhears The Morrigan and Trick discussing Rainer. Lauren tries to share the information with Bo who basically brings the verbal smackdown. Sadly, it seems like they are over and their issues are not going to be so quickly resolved. Although, weren’t they together before Rainer showed up? We smell a plot hole.
Bo shows up at the Morrigan’s lair in lingerie. They get all kinds of freaky. But suddenly, Evony starts to perspire which is not normal because she’s a super Fae. It turns out she’s been transformed into a human. Holy smite! Lauren used her DNA to develop a serum that she hid in a special place. She even punches The Morrigan when she gets sassy.
Big reveal! The Morrigan is Massimo’s mother. She calls him to try and undo Lauren’s treachery. But Massimo goes all Norman Bates on everyone. He brings the origin seed. He’s the one who stole the Una Mens seed. He eats it and collapses. What will happen to him, the Morrigan, and Lauren?
Succu-Best Lines of the Night
"You could sell diapers to a Sumo." – Evony on Lauren’s charm
"I don’t need to claim your clam to claim you." – Evony putting it plainly for Lauren
"So what should we do, darling? My vote: we get rip-roaring drunk and settle into a stack of something, I don’t know, Rachel McAddamsy." – Vex trying to make Kenzi feel better
"I bought you your own shop of herbal Druidic s**t, and still you’re nothing but aggro, you little Muppet." – Vex
"What’s wrong with your face? You look like a walking chemical peel gone wrong." – Evony
The Real Housewives of New York City was originally presented as a collection socialites living the high life in the Big Apple. After Bethenny Frankel’s insane success with “keep it real” commentary and consistent branding, the show’s tone changed. It evolved (or devolved, depending who you ask) into one of the yell-iest and most product-pushing of the Bravo reality series. The latest season has gone full tilt wacky with the ladies acting as wild and crazy as possible.
It seems like this season is focused on wringing the wildest and craziest drama out of the women. Considering some housewives drink like it’s an Olympic sport, pick fights pathologically, and others are just duds, we’ve ranked the housewives by their level of crazy.
Bethenny is the most successful of the New York housewives, and the sanest. Let’s be honest, if she can star on a reality show, share personal upheavals in her life unabashedly, and still stay on-brand, she’s a genius. Whenever she lost her temper or got emotional, there was a somewhat reasonable motivation or antagonist. She’s always forthcoming; despite issues with her marriage and her past, she’s never been dishonest or inauthentic. She’s by far one of the realest housewives. She may have issues, but who doesn’t?
Diagnosis: Crazy smart.
It may be controversial to consider kooky Alex to be one of the most level-headed of the bunch. Yes, her husband Simon van Kempen is eccentric. Yes, she is one of those pretentious parents who insist on speaking French to her children but not establishing rules for behavior. Yes, she and her spouse give off a distinctly swingeresque vibe. All that being said, after putting on airs in the first season, she has become really authentic in her time on Real Housewives. She treated the show like her job because it was. She showed up, engaged, and voiced her opinion. Who wouldn’t want to get out of an office and make money on TV to spend more time with their family? She currently hosts various web series where she shares her take on the show but openly references what producers are doing based on her experience. She may seem a little nervous on camera and make strange fashion choices, but what she says and how she says it all feel very legit.
Diagnosis: A little kooky, but mostly grounded.
Heather seems real, authentic, and something of a smart businesswoman. She is also pushy, opinionated, and far from perfect. This doesn't make her abnormal. The only thing that does is her fixation on using hip-hop vernacular. She continuously wants to remind people of her connections to P. Diddy and Beyonce. She has roots in clothing design and worked on their lines... but being a involved with the company does not make you personal friends. This also cannibalizes anyone recognizing her actual clothing brand. Keep that in mind, holla!
Diagnosis: Compulsive namedropper; use of “Holla” may be a nervous tic.
Carole is a tough nut to crack. In her first season on the show, she seemed the sanest of the bunch. She also seems like legitimate New York aristocracy given her Kennedy connections, Princess title, and career as a successful writer. However, her willingness to get into the muck this season shows some cracks in the façade. It calls into question how real she is. Is she a pathological social climber? Obsessive narcissist? Also, how do we know if her book was or was not ghostwritten?
Diagnosis: Slightly suspect.
Kristen may not be doing anything for feminism by excusing her lack of intelligence with her looks. However, she’s does seem like a genuinely involved mother and a career model. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Her penchant for saying bizarre things seems to be more a symptom of being unchallenged for being tall and beautiful than a virtue of being genuinely insane. Only time will tell is she does have some screws loose. After all, she does get a glass flung in her face.
Diagnosis: Under observation.
Cindy did not make much of an impression on audiences of the show. However, she did have some questionable behavior. She made a name for herself by gluing Swarovski crystals to lady bits. Talk about a career that will suffer in the recession. As you can tell from her clip she cannot correctly pronounce Swarovski. She doesn’t seem crazy as much as tacky. She didn’t really seem real, authentic, or even engaged in her time on the show. She admitted to "having it all" by having a surrogate give birth to twins. But then her children were only brought out like props and given to a nanny. It’s pretty unclear why she even went on the show since she didn't give a great impression of her parenting or business.
Diagnosis: Benign tackiness.
Jill went from one of the most likable to one of the most loathed housewives on the show. Her quick shift from annoying mother to pathological product pusher combined with her nasal voice made her grating. She got into a fight with Bethenny then proceeded to instigate fights with everyone on the show. After being fired, she offered conflicted stories of the rationale to different news outlets: On Watch What Happens Live, she asked Andy Cohen, on the air, why was she fired. On ABC, she said the show was becoming a toxic environment. On OWN, she said she wanted to leave the show and even wrote an email to the producers that she didn’t send. Instead, it was answered by the universe. Regardless, she has not found a way to be likable or relevant without revisiting her issues with Bravo and Bethenny.
Diagnosis: Victim of her own ego, fame hunger, and annoying voice.
COUNTESS LUANN DE LESSEPS
There are two, maybe even three or four, LuAnns. There is the highfalutin Countess who reminds people of appropriate manners and passive aggressively shames them for using the wrong fork. There’s fun and frisky LuAnn that likes to go out with the girls and flirt with guys. There’s the questionable mother LuAnn who leaves her children to be raised by their sassy live-in nanny then unceremoniously fires her. There's LuAnn the autotune musician. LuAnn feels like the type of rich Manhattanite we want to learn more about. What are her secrets? What does she really think? On the show, she’s been caught lying, cheating, and squealing. If she owned it all and said, “Bygones, America! I’m a real person!" that would be relatable. Her music career is a little problematic. Her first song was processed to death but somewhat catchy and campy. Her second seemed like shameless pandering and it’s no wonder the two Housewives that starred in it were fired.
Diagnosis: Exhibits symptoms of multiple personality disorder. It's unclear if she's a compulsive liar or bad at keeping a secret.
Aviva began her time on the show riddled with anxieties and seemed to be in a slightly co-dependent relationship with her husband. This season, she seems willing to say anything and everything that comes to mind. It’s unclear as to whether Aviva is channeling Rocky and fighting housewives left and right because she’s real, wants to stay on the show, or is trying to sell her book. She also seems oddly okay with her father and ex-husband’s inappropriate ways. It's also strange she would devote a book to losing her leg but started the show not talking about it at all.
Diagnosis: She doesn’t know how she feels and neither do we.
Kelly is legit crazy... allegedly. She’s fashionable, attractive, and has a decent career as a fashion personality. However, when she was on vacation in St. Barts, unable to escape the cameras, all kinds of wildness came out. She was obsessed with candy, accusing people of things, trashing Bethenny, and calling everyone “hoebags.” She would hop on her high horse slut-shaming women, and then pose for Playboy and walking around with half-naked men. She also accused some women of being possessed.
Diagnosis: Crazy behind closed doors.
Sonja is lovably crazy. She likes her booze and her men. She has a whole host of “businesses” yet we never see products. Where is the toaster oven? Show us the receipts! She has a host of interns that somehow get college credit to do her bidding. They also all live in her house? Sonja has no filter but she also seems to have no understanding of what’s going on in her life. Given her issues with the custody of her daughter and her divorce, broadcasting she’s commando is not great for credibility. Also, judging from this video, she isn’t aware that she shouldn't give interviews while inebriated. In case you’re wondering, the young girl holding her is one of her interns.
Diagnosis: Housewife has a series of bounced reality checks.
Ramona is the Eyelander! She’s the last surviving housewife from Season 1. She and her crazy eyes have found their way into our hearts. Her lack of a filter and socially inappropriate behavior made her a mainstay on the series. However, it is bizarre that her business is built on making religious jewelry and her brand is family oriented. Yet, she’s not afraid of heavy drinking aka Turtle Time, being scantily clad, and her husbands seemingly cheating ways. She also seems a little erratic and no longer able to drop the Romotions. Is she unclear as to where the television Ramona begins and the real Ramona ends?
Diagnosis: Filing for divorce from reality.
Have you ever wondered how Felicia Day got her geek street cred? Have you ever wondered what the lives of hardcore gamers are like? Are you desperately in need of a show about the socially inept? The Guild provides you with answers to all of those questions and so much more. This quirky web series is available as long form episodes on Netflix.
Cyd Sherman (Day) is unemployed, socially awkward, and obsessed with playing a World of Warcraft-style online game. When one of her fellow gamers, Zaboo (Sandeep Parikh), misinterprets a mild flirtation as an invitation, things get real…literally. An series of events brings the entire guild, the Knights of Good, together in person. Despite spending countless hours playing together, they’re unprepared for what’s on the other end of their screens. Known only by her online name Codex, Cyd meets the rest of her group including a horny teen, surly pretty girl, awkward cheapskate, and an irresponsible housewife.
The show isn’t just for geeks. It explores geek culture with human relationships, broad comedic premises, and an interesting style. Each episode begins with Codex recounting her thoughts and feelings. Then the show explores an adventure and cuts to all of the different members of the guild. The show has an irreverent sense of humor and its unique style was an inspiration for Joss Whedon’s Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog starring Neil Patrick Harris. The series also features guest appearances by Will Wheaton, Erin Gray, Zachary Levi, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer alums Eliza Dushku and Tom Lenk.
This series is fresh and unique which is saying a lot considering not a lot of independently produced shows get this much attention. If you’re a geek you will enjoy how the series celebrates social inadequacies. If you’re a fan of comedy you will appreciate the offbeat humor. It’s a fun series that doesn’t take it too seriously while lampooning and celebrating people who take their gaming too seriously.
Check out The Guild on Netflix.
Now is the about the time in the Real Housewives of Atlanta season when the ladies can get super annoying. This week's episode is meant to prepare us for the upcoming finale. However, it’s really showing the ladies at their worst. This episode takes the worst of each lady and puts it on display, in a big way.
This episode begins with NeNe Leakes, Gregg Leakes, and Peter Thomas resuming their fight. NeNe’s holier-than-thou attitude is getting old. In the past, she has proved to be great at producing some memorable reality moments. However, she’s suffering from an ego inflation problem that would make Kanye West say, “You might want to take it down a notch.” Her television career is tenuous at best and if she alienates her following she will go the way of Danielle Staub. There’s a farm just outside of Pleasantville, N.Y. where old housewives are sent to pasture. Lisa Wu Hartwell and Jill Zarin are eating cud and starting drama over who has the shiniest coat.
Kandi Burruss is a bit tired with the whole constant product placement. Bethenny Frankel made millions by establishing a brand and then successfully selling it. Kandi, on the other hand, is just selling anything and everything. This season, her storyline about her problems with her mother are the basis for a musical that she’s producing on the show. Her place of business is named for her horrible Bravo spin-off The Kandi Factory which is also known as America’s 500th attempt to replicate American Idol. Her status as a businesswoman is suspect because she’s entertaining contract negotiations with Porsha Stewart. This is the woman who had to be convinced that the Underground Railroad was not an actual train. If Kandi called in more musician pals rather than Real Housewives, her play would be taken more seriously.
Kandi has a needlessly elaborate press opportunity for her show. She enlists two high school students, from her alma mater, to star in her show. Hopefully, they will be getting paid. She really shouldn’t show rehearsals for a show that hasn’t been work-shopped. Even though it has Eddie Levert, which Kandi mentions every five minutes, rehearsals without a live band and a stage don’t mean anything to strangers. It really does look like they’re prepping for Ratchet: The Musical. It looks like Porsha thinks she’s too good to star in the production… and she just might be.
Porsha is annoying with her complete obliviousness. She’s pretty and simple but she’s completely misguided. She is icing out Kandi’s production but what else would she be doing? She doesn’t seem to be qualified to do anything professionally other than being pretty. She goes out with her sister and friends, looking like a busted version of Girlfriends. Porsha flirts with the best guy the local acting pool could provide.
Cynthia Bailey has no backbone. She gets verbally abused by her husband and by her friend NeNe. The whole reason her husband is getting into “women business” is because their lives are boring. Being broke and struggling isn’t engaging. This whole fighting with NeNe storyline feels manufactured. It’s hypocritical for Gregg to attack Peter when NeNe wants Peter not involved in the drama of the show. Plus, Cynthia and Peter are one paycheck away from using their studios, For Lease... or whatever it’s called.
Phaedra Parks is lovably bizarre and chock full of the most delicious reads. And yet, why would a successful attorney want to spend the time and money to become a mortician? All of her business ventures are a little questionable considering her husband, Apollo Nida is in hot water with the law over his various “businesses.”
Did someone mention deluded? Kenya Moore is acting particularly kooky this episode. She’s celebrating her desperate attempts to keep Marlo Hampton on the show. She has a woman come by to teach her how to be a mother. This involves getting a baby doll that’s programmed to track how well Kenya will take care of it. Hopefully she doesn’t leave the baby in Narnia when she’s visiting her boyfriend the Prince. She even takes the doll shopping and just seems to be trying too hard.
Speaking of trying too hard, the inevitable confrontation between NeNe and Cynthia happens. It looks like it’s happening at a Bennigans. If you think this fight will be full of quotables or if NeNe will pull a big piece of bric-a-brac off the wall and bludgeon Peter… you’re wrong. Instead, this awkward small talk happens without much fanfare. It’s completely contrived. Cynthia and Peter would never have a falling out with NeNe A.K.A. Mama Paycheck. It’s evident when Cynthia hands her husband’s drink over to NeNe. NeNe isn’t apologetic and neither Cynthia or Peter have the nerve to really take her on. They end the fight by all holding hands. If only it was after a 12-step meeting for fame-whore addiction.
Best Lines of the Night
"That’s crazy to call someone’s husband a bitch…but we are talking about Peter." – Porsha
"Poor Cynthia. She doesn’t know what’s going on. She’s got a contract with NeNe to be her friend and it’s her husband that’s in the fire." – Phaedra
"I don’t want to name my child Apollo because I don’t want him to go to jail. I don’t want to name my child Porsha because I want them to find the United States on the map and I don’t want them to be NeNe because I want them to actually be born with hair." – Kenya
"Not many folks want to fall asleep at the funeral home. We might be lurking around to take them to the back." – Phaedra
"You know that she’s the only person with an understudy. Mmm Hmm." – Kandi about Porsha’s role