Cory Mahoney
  • 20 Cycles of ANTM: Who Won vs. Who Should Have Won
    By: Cory Mahoney Sep 05, 2014
    As America's Next Top Model's 21st cycle unfolds, we've decided to take a look at previous seasons to see how often Tyra and her ever-changing panel of judges choose the right model. As anyone who has watched the show throughout the years (and the marathons every time they're on TV) knows, the model you spend all season rooting for rarely wins, no matter how much she deserves to.  Cycle 1 WENN/David Livingston Who Won: Adrianne Curry Should Have Won: Adrianne Curry If only Tyra's first season were a sign of things to come. She picked it right. Adrianne had that special blend of being cool, a good model, and reality TV perfection (which is essential for a first season). She went on to become a "star" on Vh1's CelebReality, and we continued to grow up watching the ups and downs of her relationship with a Brady. That sort of contribution to our adolescence is invaluable. Cycle 2 Getty Images/WENN Who Won: Yoanna House Should Have Won: Mercedes Scelba-Shorte Mercedes was perfect! She was such a great model, she had the cutest personality, and she was owning the competition while suffering with Lupus. Her final photo and her Billie Holiday photo are some of our favorite in ANTM history. Cycle 3 WENN/Getty Images Who Won: Eva Pigford Should Have Won: Toccara Jones, Yaya DaCosta Eva was okay, but we loved Toccara. She left too soon, and we began to root for Eva. Looking back on this cycle now though, it's hard not to feel like Yaya is sort of like ANTM's Jennifer Hudson -- she lost, but has the best career possibly out of any of the girls. Cycle 4 Getty Images/Getty Images Who Won: Naima Mora Should Have Won: Kahlen Rondot This is a no brainer. Kahlen was perfect. Naima was a good model, okay, sure. But she was quiet and enigmatic. Kahlen was shy, but adorable and relatable. And, if we're being frank, a far superior model. Cycle 5 WENN/WENN Who Won: Nicole Linklater Should Have Won: Bre Scullark (or Nik Pace) We loved Bre. We still love Bre. She will always be one of our favorites. We rooted for Nik after Bre was eliminated, but Tyra didn't seem to care and picked the annoying and whiny Nicole. Cycle 6 WENN/WENN Who Won: Danielle (Dani) Evans Should Have Won: Joanie Dodds This makes us uncomfortable to say, because we really like both girls here. This was one of the rare instances where we would have been happy regardless of who won. For some reason, we always remember this as the cycle that Joanie won though. Clearly she left the stronger impression (although we'll never forget Dani's photo on top of the elephant, while she was sick). Cycle 7 WENN Who Won: CariDee English Should Have Won: CariDee English We felt really bad when Melrose lost because she was consistently good. She tried so hard to be perfect. Sure, she wasn't the most likable, but she was undeniably a good model. But CariDee had the whole package. She was likable and could model. We would have been happy if one of the twins won too though (just saying...). Cycle 8 WENN/Getty Images Who Won: Jaslene Gonzalez Should Have Won: Renee Alway We were rooting for Renee from the very beginning. When she came in third place, we obviously started supporting Jaslene just to prevent the bizarre Natasha from winning. Deep down though, we still feel wronged by Renee's elimination. Cycle 9 WENN/The CW Who Won: Saleisha Stowers Should Have Won: Jenah Doucette We never liked Saleisha. She kind of looked like Rihanna if Rihanna were on Disney. We were never into it. Chantal similarly had sanitized feel to her. Jenah shined as the only normal, likable girl in the cycle. She was a great model too! Cycle 10 WENN/WENN Who Won: Whitney Thompson Should Have Won: Anya Kop This is one that outrages us still. Whitney was unlikable and even the judges thought so for most of the season. She just happened to get farther than any other plus-sized model, so they let her win. Everybody knows that Anya ran that cycle as if she were already a professional. Her photo shoot with Nigel? Her Sprite campaign? And don't even get us started on the injustice of eliminating Tiffani Thiessen-lookalike Katarzyna. How did they pick Whitney? Cycle 11 WENN Who Won: McKey Sullivan Should Have Won: McKey Sullivan Girl was flawless. She was tall, stunning, poised, and had a lovely personality. Honorable mention to Analeigh Tipton though for doing her thing and having a great career. Cycle 12 Getty Images/Getty Images Who Won: Teyona Anderson Should Have Won: Allison Harvard Allison. Our favorite contestant in the history of ANTM. This one hurts. We're not quite ready to talk about it. Cycle 13 WENN Who Won: Nicole Fox Should Have Won: Nicole Fox We loved Nicole and we loved runner-up Laura Kirkpatrick. Tyra didn't have the chance to mess this cycle up. Cycle 14 WENN/WENN Who Won: Krista White Should Have Won: Raina Hein Raina has been working more than anyone else from this cycle -- we've been seeing her pop up on commercials, and a working model is a successful one. Overall, we didn't really like this cycle. Cycle 15 WENN/The CW Who Won: Ann Ward Should Have Won: Kayla Ferrel First of all, Ann's runway walk was not good. Chelsey and Jane were both good models, but there was something about Kayla that we were consistently drawn to. She somehow looked like a classic beauty, yet edgy and modern. She was fieeeeerce. Cycle 16 WENN/Getty Images Who Won: Brittani Kline Should Have Won: Hannah Jones Were we the only ones who didn't hate Alexandria? We would have been happy if she won, but instead we were left with Brittani. She was a fine model, but on a personal level, we just stopped liking her after that meltdown in panel. Hannah also reminded us a lot of Analeigh from cycle 12, so we had a soft spot for her. Cycle 17 WENN/Getty Images Who Won: Lisa D'Amato Should Have Won: Allison Harvard TWICE? REALLY? Allison, who broke our hearts when she was runner-up in cycle 12, admits that it sucks to be runner-up twice. She should have won. Twice. She's the best. We'll never be ready to talk about this. Cycle 18 WENN/WENN/Twitter Who Won: Sophie Sumner Should Have Won: ...Annaliese Dayes? ...Laura LaFrate? Maybe Sophie? This is one of those cycles that had three great girls at the end. At one point or another, we rooted for all of them to win. We're happy Sophie won because she was a cutie, but we loved Annaliese way more throughout the competition. She was like a Spice Girl and a model all in one. Cycle 19 WENN/Twitter Who Won: Laura James Should Have Won: Leila Goldkuhl Laura is a fantastic model -- let's just get that out of the way up front. Leila was eliminated, because Tyra rarely makes good decisions, and brought back by the fans who loved her. Clearly she was a fan-favorite and she should have won. Leila was definitely better than runner-up Kiara. Cycle 20 Twitter/The CW Who Won: Jourdan Miller Should Have Won: Renee Bhagwandeen Our friend texted within the first episode of ANTM 2.0 saying she couldn't stand the girl who was married and divorced at 18. And she never really made us like her more. On the other hand, from the moment Renee was shown in the casting episode, she had our vote. We were gung-ho from the get-go. Sure, Cory and Marvin were fantastic, but personally we're still rooting for the girls. Will Tyra make the right choice in Cycle 21?
  • The Best VMA Performances of All Time
    By: Cory Mahoney Aug 21, 2014
    MTV Once a year, we're treated to a cultural event unlike any other: the MTV Video Music Awards. Some of the moments from ceremonies past will live forever in our mind, from Chris Rock joking about Jennifer Lopez and her derrière's need for more than one limousine to Diana Ross jiggling Lil Kim's exposed breast. The show knows how to provoke controversy, and has thus remained a lightning rod for pop culture discussion since it began in 1984. This list isn't about the most controversial moments in the award show's history, but the most mesmerizing live performances it gave us (some of which, yes, surely did drum up some controversy). 1. Madonna - "Like A Virgin" 1984 Possibly one of the most iconic performances ever, period. Madonna's signature wedding dress and 'boy toy' belt are still synonymous with 80s pop culture, and it's all thanks to this performance. She rolls around on the floor quite suggestively, setting the tone for what we've come to expect from both the Queen of Pop and the VMAs. 2. Madonna - "Vogue" 1990 Madonna returned to the stage in 1990, decked out in Marie Antoinette-inspired clothing, and delivered this perfectly choreographed rendition of her classic "Vogue." Though completely covered as an 18th century aristocrat, Madge still managed to sexualize the performance by shoving faces into her bosom and lifting up her skirt to allow her backup dancers a peak beneath. 3. Madonna, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Missy Elliott - "Like A Virgin/Hollywood Medley" 2003 Now that's how you open an award show. Or is it? The downside of this majesty: it ended up being all anyone could talk about... for ten years. I don't think anything  in VMAs history earned this must discussion until the dawn of Miley. Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, at the time the two biggest pop stars around, having been so clearly influenced by Madonna, took to the stage to pay homage to her 1984 VMA performance only to be joined by the Queen herself. As everyone knows, eventually the Material Girl smooched both Spears and Aguilera (though for some reason, we mostly just focus on Britney Spears) before Missy Elliott came in and got everyone dancing away the shock. 4. Beyoncé - "Love On Top" 2011 NO. SHE. DIDN'T. This was a moment I'll never forget. Beyoncé came out, annihilated the song (which is an incredible feat in and of itself, spanning six key changes in one number), but then dropped the microphone and grabbed her budding baby bump to announce her pregnancy to the world. This performance still gives me chills, and when I think about it, I can't help but want to jump up and down like Kanye does at the end. It's just perfect. 5. Miley Cyrus & Robin Thicke (feat. 2 Chainz & Kendrick Lamar) - "We Can't Stop/Blurred Lines/Give It 2 U" 2013 The performance that everyone knows about... so much so that my grandfather just called me to ask how he can clear "Miley Cyrus twerk" from his YouTube history. In combination with her video for "Wrecking Ball," this performance made sure everyone would be talking about Miley Cyrus for months to come. It provoked discussions about sexuality, racial appropriation, and age differences. Not to mention, it helped destroy a marriage (thus leaving us to deal with a groveling Robin Thicke). 6. Diddy, Sting, Faith Evans, 112 - "I'll Be Missing You" 1997 A tribute to The Notorious B.I.G., this is an undeniably beautiful and meangingful song. Sting coming on stage to perform the sample of "Every Breath You Take" shows more than just artists collaborating to make wonderful music, but it demonstrates the music community coming together in remembrance of loved ones.  7. Beyoncé - "Ring the Alarm" 2006 Beyoncé is a goddess. We know. Beyoncé can do no wrong. We know. At the time of this performance though, Queen Bey was just beginning to prove just how much of a force to be reckoned with she was. I distinctly remember not being familiar with this song as she descended to the stage, but this performance sold me on it. The highlight isn't the amazing trench coat she twirls around in during the beginning of performance, but that unexpected hydraulicks-inspired dance routine that she does in the middle. Girl just slayed and slaaaayed. 8. Chris Brown & Rihanna - "Wall to Wall"/"Umbrella"/"Billie Jean"/"Kiss Kiss" Medley 2007 Let's go back to a time when saying "Chris Brown" and "Rihanna" in the same sentence didn't immediately present a problem and focus on this gem of a performance from 2007. The two were rising stars with some of the biggest songs of the year, joining forces on stage for a magical moment. Say what you will about Chris Brown, but he's the best dancer we've had around since Michael Jackson. As he table-top dances and leaps from table to table, even eventually paying tribute to MJ, we were reminded of just how good he is. 9. Lady Gaga - "Paparazzi" 2009 Ladies and gentleman, Lady Gaga has arrived. She gave the sort of performance we've come to expect from her: theatrical, filled with musical ability, bizarre, and shocking. Mostly in the way it ended, with Mother Monster hanging on stage and bleeding to "death." Um... this was truly a shocking moment, even for her. 10. Britney Spears - "I'm a Slave 4 U" 2001 What made this one memorable? For one thing, she beings the performance in a cage with a tiger. That's just the start. Then she gives us the sort of magnificent dance routine that we love so much we're willing to worship whatever she does now just in memory of a performance like this. Just as you're thinking it won't get any better, the python comes out and Britney shimmies around the stage with the albino snake around her shoulders. (Can you believe there is an entire generation of people who were only able to witness Britney performances like "Gimme More?" I shudder to think). 11. Britney Spears - "Satisfaction/Oops! I Did It Again" 2000 This performance is perfect (and by that, we mean that it's flawed in a variety of ways, but if you're looking for real singing or anything substantial, watch the Grammys and hope for the best). Watching it now, knowing that she's going to rip off that suit and hat and give us one of the best choreographed hair tosses ever recorded, we can't help but get excited. The nude body suit and that booty grab at the 2:00 mark really cemented her place as a sex icon (as if the subtle schoolgirl costume and red latex catsuit hadn't already). 12. Hole - "Violet" 1995 Courtney Love is nothing if not raw. She dedicated this performance to a slew of deceased musicians and loved ones, including husband Kurt Cobain and bandmate Kristen Pfaff, and proceeded to rock out in typical Courtney style and tried to destroy everything on the stage. This, of course, happened before she threw the contents of her purse at Madonna and struck up a conversation in the middle of an interview. 13. Eminem - "The Real Slim Shady" / "The Way I Am" 2000 Eminem made a statement in 2000 by proving that he was the real Slim Shady, marching through Radio City Music Hall with a sea of imitators. More impressively is how many times he grabs his crotch. You'd think he was in genuine fear of being assaulted or something.  14. Kid Rock (feat. Run-DMC, Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, and Joe C.) - "King of Rock"/"Rock Box"/"Bawitdaba"/"Walk This Way" 1999 What's not to like about this performance? As much as I wish I didn't like Kid Rock, I have to give him his props. This performance was stellar, and is probably one of the only performances on this list that my brother enjoyed watching too (just kidding, we mentioned Britney Spears stripping into a nude bodysuit, right?).  15. Michael Jackson - Medley 1995 At a whopping fifteen minutes long, this performance is more of a Michael Jackson concert than a VMA performance. However, it's definitely one of the better ways to spend fifteen minutes, as this performance is jam-packed with everything you'd expect from a Michael Jackson performance. He is the King of Pop, after all.
  • NSFW: True Blood's Sexiest (and Creepiest) Sex Scenes
    By: Cory Mahoney Aug 07, 2014
    HBO If you're still watching True Blood, you either love terrible television, or you're dependent on HBO's Sunday night sex scenes. HBO's Sunday nights have featured some of the raunchiest scenes in television history, from Sex and the City and Girls to Game of Thrones, but none of them compare to what we've seen on True Blood. As the show prepares to meet its true death, we're taking a look back at the moments that had us all hot and bothered, as well as the most disturbing ones. 1. Intro to Fang-Banging: Jason & Maudette The very first episode of True Blood introduced Jason Stackhouse, god amongst men, spending time with lady friend, Maudette Pickens. Maudette, a fang-banger, is watching a home movie of her kinky adventures with a vampire while she services Jason. In the next scene, Jason has Maudette chained to the ceiling of her living room while the two of them have intense sex. Needless to say, this scene is why we started watching the show. 2. Saints, Sinners, and Suds: Jason & Sarah Newlin Take a Bath HBO There was something so subtle, so sensual, so sexy about the way Sarah Newlin interrupted Jason's bath in season 2. Staying at the Fellowship of the Sun in an attempt to repent for his sins and mend his ways, Jason found trouble when Sarah decided she wasn't happy with her husband and decided to take matters into her own hands...literally. 3. Little Red "Ride-Me" Hood: Jason & Jessica  HBO/ HBO / There's really nothing like some spontaneous role playing to spice up your sex life. After telling Hoyt that he and Jessica were sleeping together, Jason got punched in the face. But Jessica made it up to him, Halloween-style. (Honestly, we would let Hoyt beat us as badly as he wanted if Jessica would help us recover like this, too). 4.  In Your Dreams: Sookie, Eric, & Bill HBO This show constantly pinned Bill against Eric in the battle for Sookie's affection, so when Sookie dreamed of a threesome with the two hunky vampires at the end of season 4, fans around the world rejoiced. I mean, obviously this was the solution to this love triangle, right? 5. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Tara & Naomi HBO / HBO / Tara had the worst luck of any character from any season of this show. She dated Sam, but that didn't work. She dated (and really loved Eggs), but he was killed. Her mother is terrible. No matter what happens, Tara's life is awful. That's why it was so nice to see this brief moment of bliss from her. She finally seemed free of her old life, of its troubles, and able to start anew with Naomi. Unfortunately, that was short-lived too... 6. Same-Sex Tendencies: Jason & Eric HBO / HBO / Drinking a vampire's blood can have serious effects on a person. Hallucinations, the vampire's ability to sense emotions, and sex dreams. Oh, the sex dreams. They've provided some of the sexiest moments the show has ever given us, but none were anywhere near as intense as this one. We were biting our lips and grabbing at our bedsheets just from watching at home.  7. Pool Table Twister: Sam & Daphne; Arlene & Keith HBO "Nice rack," - "nice balls." Though Sam  and Daphne may have used the pool table for their pun-filled romp on the pool table at Merlotte's, it's Arlene whose billiards boffing makes our list. We had never really seen Arlene in such a sexual light, and now we realize how much we''ve been missing out on. She tried to fight the temptation to sleep with Keith, because she doesn't have sex with vampires, because she's Hep V-positive, because, because, it's... wrong? Fighting proved futile, and the sex just seemed so...right. 8. Trip: Jason & Amy on V Jason and Amy (played by the perfect Lizzy Caplan) had a wild relationship that involved drug abuse and vampire abuse. It wasn't the healthiest relationship, and it left its fair share of damage to Jason once it ended. It also provided one of the trippiest V-induced sequences in the history of the show. 9. Fantasy vs. Reality: Eric & Sookie HBO / HBO / We can't really choose just one Sookie and Eric scene. Every time the pair get involved, it's insanely sexy. There's something about it that feels inherently naughty, as if sleeping with a vampire who isn't Bill, especially his nemesis, is entirely forbidden. Whether it's her fantasies about lying on silk sheets with the Viking vamp or it's the reality of sleeping with an amnesiac, it's always hot. 10. Good to Be Pack Master: Alcide & Rikki As someone who never cared about the werewolves on the show, I'm fairly certain Alcide was only there to prove that supernaturals have incredible sex. And werewolves are no exception. This scene makes it impossible to argue otherwise, so well done, True Blood. Well done. And now onto the creepiest: 11. Sibling Relations: Eric & Nora HBO HBO / When making this list, this particular scene was hard to place - is it sexy, or is it creepy? The scene's sex appeal is undeniable, but, you know, Nora is Eric's sister, soo... we're just going to let Eric explain this one: "We fight like siblings, but we fuck like champions." 12. Bill & Sookie Get Dirty HBO The cemetary sex scene is another scene that's sexy yet creepy (way, way more creepy than sexy though). Sookie thought the love of her life had died tragically in a fire. She went to the cemetary to mourn her loss, when suddenly, her lover crawls up from the ground naked. He grabs her ankles as she tries to crawl away, screaming and terrified, before she realizes that it's Bill. Then, the two of them start rolling around in the dirt of the graveyard, having bloody vampire sex. This is one of the first scenes that really established the show as the campy sex-fest that it really is. 13. The Wrong Kind of Hole: Jason & the College Girls HBO Whenever Jason is naked in a scene, the show has our undivided attention. The show has our excitement. This is the only time we were let down, when a naked and glistening Jason tries to distract himself from Eggs' death by hooking up with two college girls. The moment is ruined quickly when Jason can't stop envisioning his lovers with gigantic bullet holes in their foreheads, just like Eggs. From hot to horrifying in a matter of seconds. 14. You Spin Me Right Round: Bill & Lorena HBO / There's hate sex, and then there's this. Bill hates his maker Lorena so much that he spins her head all the way around while having sex with her just so he won't have to look at her. Then Mr. Compton just continues doing his thing.  15. Revenge Romp: Eric & Talbot HBO HBO This scene is not even close to the creepiest the show has ever given us, but it's one of the least enjoyable. Eric, seeking revenge on Russell Edgington for killing his family, has sex with Russell's husband, Talbot, and stakes him from behind while doing so. Poor Talbot. This is a perfect example of what True Blood has given us for 7 seasons - sex, blood, death, and the unexpected. Honorable Mention: every single orgy scene from season 2's Maenad fiasco. We could have lived very happily without ever seeing those scenes.
  • Which 'True Blood' Characters Will Die Before the Finale?
    By: Cory Mahoney Jul 18, 2014
    HBO With the final season of True Blood wrapping up this summer, we've got to wonder which characters the vampire drama will exterminate for good by the time the finale rolls around. We've already seen the HBO series give the axe to Tara Thornton, Alcide Herveaux, and Mrs. Fortenberry, but what about the rest of the major players? Who will make it to the end, and who will meet a grim fate? Sookie StackhouseIn the end, Sookie probably has to live. That doesn't mean we can't secretly root for her demise, though. The character has become so self-centered that in the midst of a zombie-vampire epidemic and the death of her childhood best friend, she's principally concerned with what the people of Bon Temps are thinking about her. Sookie is upset that they think she brings nothing but trouble... so, she decides to try to help her kidnapped friends by trying to get kidnapped herself (and this is how Alcide gets shot, which now she has something else to feel bad about). Girl needs to get a grip. Bill ComptonBill has always been one of the campiest character on the show, from his pronunciation of "Sookie" to actually becoming god, and we've gone back and forth between loving to hating him again and again. At this point, it's tough to hate Bill, but that's not to say we'd be all that sad to see him go. But perhaps we'll root for him to make it through, if only because Sookie probably will, and wouldn't that just be adorable if Sookie and Bill finally got together? (See? I almost sound like I give a hoot.) Sam MerlotteSam has been involved in his own stories for a while, and now he's finally returning to the group. After seasons of waiting for him to get killed off, now I'm sort of rooting for him to make it through. He does have a kid on the way... or something. I'm still not quite sure exactly who his fiancée is, when she got pregnant, or any of that. But I'm pretty sure he mentioned she and their baby were taken by the vampires. Jason StackhouseThere is no way in hell Jason Stackhouse should die because that's just a waste of beauty. It's as simple as that. Next character. Eric NorthmanIt seems like it's a given that Eric will die since he's contracted Hep V, but who knows? Let's just hope that if he dies, he dies like Godric did. Or that we see Godric again at least.  HBO PamPam can't die, can she? She's always been one of the show's strongest characters, but the latest episode featuring her with Eric lagged a bit. Until, that is, she stole Ginger's idea for Fangtasia and passed it off as her own. Then we remembered how fun Pam can be. It'll be a sad turn of events if she goes. JessicaJessica is another character with whom the show has always done well. Hopefully, she and Hoyt will somehow fall back in love with each other and can stay alive (or, well, vampire-alive) to enjoy some time together.  Andy BellefleurAndy has grown more than any other character on this show in the last seven seasons, evolving from an incompetent drunk on the police force to a V addict, then to sheriff, and now a father and a leader. His trajectory makes him easy to root for consistently, regardless of whether or not we actually like him.  LafayetteAh, to look back upon how upsetting it was at the end of Season 1, when the cliffhanger led us all to believe Lafayette had died. Though his bruja abilities (is that what he is? or his just a medium?) can test a fan's patience, the character is one of the greatest on the show. He's still hilarious, and he's still lovable, and he's probably the only thing about this show that still is. Hopefully, he'll wind up with Jessica's boyfriend and find the happiness he was robbed of with Jesus.  ArleneHearts shattered in the latest episode when Arlene decided not to be with Terry in death. Hopefully that's the last run-in with death she faces this season, because she has those three kids and a heart of gold.
  • The Perfect Comeback for Every Occasion
    By: Cory Mahoney May 30, 2014
    We all have moments where we wish we had the ideal insult to hurl at someone. Usually, we don't think of that perfectly-prepared dig until the moment has passed. We've decided to put an end to that for the sake of arguments everywhere. Using our favorite movies, we've compiled a list of the best insults for any given situation, so you won't end up like George Costanza. NBC / NBC /   It may take time to perfect these insults, but remember to always remain optimistic that your insults will improve. Buena Vista Pictures / Buena Vista Pictures /   When Starbucks messes up your coffee order: New World Pictures /   When someone says they don't like Beyoncé: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures /   When your friend texts you about the same guy for the 3143268th time: The Weinstein Company /   When your ex starts dating someone new: Paramount Pictures /   When someone asks you to volunteer on a Saturday morning: New World Pictures /   When someone spoils Game of Thrones: Fox Searchlight Pictures / Paramount Pictures /   When someone cuts you off on the highway: Paramount Pictures /    When you need everyone to be aware of how much better you are: Universal Pictures /   When you're hungover and someone just keeps talking: Columbia Pictures /   When someone corrects your grammar: Paramount Pictures /   When the Chinese take-out lady makes you reassess your life by guessing your order: Buena Vista Pictures /   When someone at work eats a burrito and you haven't eaten yet: Buena Vista Pictures /   When someone asks what you're doing with your life: Universal Pictures /   Whenever someone speaks passionately about the Kardashians: Warner Bros. /   When a bunch of street performers block your path: Universal Pictures /   When your team's game is on at a rival bar: Universal Pictures /   When you see someone wearing crocs on the street: Paramount Pictures /    When someone unworthy of your time compliments you:  Buena Vista Pictures /   When some heifer tries to give you outfit advice: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer /   When it comes down to the Moms: Fox Searchlight Pictures / Paramount Pictures /   When you need to just win the Mom-insults: Columbia Pictures /   When a creep hits on you at a bar (first drink): Paramount Pictures /   When a creep hits on you at a bar (second drink): Buena Vista Pictures /   When a creep hits on you at a bar (lost count of drinks): Columbia Pictures /   At the end of the day, when almost anything and everything warrants insult: The Weinstein Company /   When words aren't necessary: Universal Pictures /   Hopefully, now you can go about your day perpetually proud of your new skill. Screen Gems /
  • The Best Twitter Reactions to Solange Attacking Jay Z
    By: Cory Mahoney May 13, 2014
    Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images Jay Z's 100th problem, or perhaps just one of his existing 99, seems to be his sister-in-law Solange. The two were caught on surveillance footage from an elevator leaked to Jay Z, Solange, and Beyoncé were all attending a Met Gala after-party at the Standard Hotel in NYC.  In the video, Beyoncé's sister is seen repeatedly punching and kicking the rapper until she's ultimately restrained by a bodyguard.  Naturally, this rare glimpse into Beyoncé's extremely private life has exploded all over the internet (like everything she does, from releasing a surprise album to temporarily becoming a vegan). Instantly, Twitter's top trending topics included 'Jay Z and Solange,' #WhatJayZSaidToSolange, as well as many wondering where Beyoncé was in this brawl and what caused it. The result was easily one of the most entertaining things to watch unfold. Below are some of our favorite reactions: 1. Those who took aim at Solange's career:  How nobody used "Solange gets her first hit" in a headline yet is mind boggling. — Kazeem Famuyide (@RealLifeKaz) May 12, 2014 Zing — Rachel Zarrell (@rachelzarrell) May 12, 2014   #WhatJayZSaidToSolange Dang, #Solange. This elevator has more floors than you have hits. — Brad Stinson, Jr. (@bradstinsonjr) May 13, 2014 Solange: "Stop calling me Beyonce's sister!" Jay-Z: "Okay Blue Ivy's aunt" #WhatJayZSaidToSolange — Chloè (@ArianaBchloe) May 13, 2014 Solange: This elevator isn't going anywhere! Jay Z: Like ya career? #WhatJayZSaidToSolange — Will Smith (@JustWillSmith) May 13, 2014 2. Those who took aim at Jay Z's career: #WhatJayZSaidtoSolange @LordGichohi @DraeFrank @MuchiriH Hahahaha LOOOL — julius yelsin (@jyelsin1) May 13, 2014 #WhatJayZSaidToSolange — Mitchel Bland (@mitchelbland) May 13, 2014 3. Those who wondered why Beyoncé stayed out of it: #WhatJayZSaidToSolange this is the best one — smegs (@meganbarnsdale) May 13, 2014 4. Those who don't like 'Game of Thrones' spoilers: "Joffrey dies" #WhatJayZSaidToSolange — Rachel Zarrell (@rachelzarrell) May 12, 2014 Solage was clearly behind on Game Of Thrones and Jay-z blurted out some spoilers in the elevator #WhatJayZSaidToSolange — Brad Bellick (@jasonfreeman95) May 13, 2014 5. The obligatory Kanye West reference: Jay Z gets attacked by Solange... Meanwhile Kanye West be like... #WhatJayZSaidToSolange — تانيا Tanya Kamaly (@tanya_kamaly) May 12, 2014 6. The Wikipedia-savvy: Now this is Cracking me up! #WhatJayZSaidToSolange Solange's wikipedia Profile! — DR. DREY | ONLINE PR (@DreyPR) May 13, 2014 7. Even Solange had a premonition about this: #wheniwaslittle I tried to kill my sisters teenage boyfriend (not a secret scince she blabbed about it on letterman) I had a GREAT plan. :) — solange knowles (@solangeknowles) September 8, 2009 Follow @Hollywood_com