Author

Jordan Smith
  • 'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D' Recap: Greetings from Asgard
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 20, 2013
    ABC Mission Briefing:This week, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. gets an Asgardian-sized crossover with Thor: The Dark World, but reign in all that excitement because neither Chris Hemsworth nor Dark Elves or really anything from the film are anywhere to be found. Instead, while the team cleans up the wreckage of Thor's recent battle, a Norse-Paganist Hate Group uncovers a section of an ancient Asgardian staff (that was left on Earth hundreds of years ago and has nothing to do with the events of Thor 2) that channels the  darkness of whoever touches it, and gives them a burst of super-strength and seething rage. The S.H.I.E.L.D. team must track down the other pieces of the staff before the hate group can get their hands on them and wreak havoc across the globe. First, however, they need to learn a thing or two about Asgard from a professional (nope, not Thor). The Agents:Agent Ward is the star of the show this week. He accidentally touches the staff which dregs up some painful childhood memories that he has worked hard to push deep into the dark crevices of his psyche. Agent Ward somehow manages to be even more broody than normal (which is impressive), and in his new found rage, he says some nasty things to his fellow agents, but that's just the alien staff talking, right? Mission Fallout:The team seeks out professor Elliot Randolph, an expert on Asgardian history. The professor turns out to not be not only an Asgardian himself, but the original owner of the staff. He hid the pieces of the staff around the world hundreds of years ago. The Asgardian helps the team track down the other pieces of the staff that he hid all those years ago. They find the last piece of the staff, but also bump into the juiced-up members of the hate group. Ward and the super-powered thugs commence in a battle royale, and when Ward looks down for the count, Melinda May takes in some of the staff's power for herself and helps put the beat down into the hate group. May and Ward bond over their shared dark experiences, while Agent Coulson is still struggling to understand his second chance at life. Just how magical can Tahiti be anyway? Mission Highlights:— It's hard not to feel a bit swindled after this episode. We were promised a Thor 2 crossover event, but the episode's plot is only just tangentially related to anything that happened in the latest Marvel film. At least we got to see some Asgardians, I guess.— Ward's backstory involving his abusive brother finally gives the character some interesting wrinkles outside of his ability to punch things really good.— After a day of kicking tail and taking names, Melinda signals Ward to come to her room to presumably have a little talk. Are they going to talk, or are they going to "talk."— Coulson quips about not being able to afford a fancy pen but you'd think someone as far up the ranks of a clandestine organization as he is would have a little bit of cash to throw around.— "You know, it'd be nice if, for once, Thor and his people sent down the god of cleaning up after yourself." Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @CurrentlyJordan //
  • Guillermo del Toro Is Bringing Vampires to FX in 'The Strain'
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 19, 2013
     FX It seems like only vampires or zombies make it onto television these days. Cable network FX has just ordered 13 episodes of The Strain, yet another vampire series based on the best-selling book from visionary director Guillermo del Toro and author Chuck Hogan. Carlton Cuse of Lost fame will serve as showrunner while del Toro himself will direct the pilot episode. While we've nearly reached our breaking point due the massive amounts of vampire and zombie properties that have flooded all forms of entertainment media as of late, maybe this series will add a second life (get it?) to the typical vampire yarn. The series will star Corey Stoll, who made an impressive stint on the Netflix drama House of Cards, as Dr. Ephraim Goodweather, the head of the Center for Disease Control Canary Team in New York City. He and his team are called upon to investigate a mysterious viral outbreak with hallmarks of an ancient and evil strain of vampirism. As the strain spreads, Eph, his team, and an assembly of everyday New Yorkers, wage war for the fate of humanity itself. Sean Astin, Mia Maestro, and Kevin Durand are also set to star in this vampire thriller. “Guillermo’s epic, cinematic pilot for The Strain starts a chilling and compelling story that will upend everything you thought you knew about vampires,” said Cuse about the show. FX has quietly amassed a quality stable of dramas including The Americans, Justified, and Sons of Anarchy. Hopefully, The Strain continues their winning run of hits. The series will premiere in July 2014. Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @CurrentlyJordan //
  • Danny Trejo Tries to Murder Space in the Sorta-Fake Trailer for 'Machete Kills Again...in Space'
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 19, 2013
    Machete has killed by land, by air, and by sea... and then wept for he had no more things left to murder. So the natural progression for a man with killing on his mind and nothing left to kill on earth... is to go kill whatever the hell is in space — where no one will hear Machete's blade chunk into your gullet. If you were one of the few (emphasis on few) that went out to see Robert Rodriguez’s second helping of Machete, Machete Kills, then you’ve already seen the fake trailer for Machete kills Again….in Space,  a possible sequel that Robert Rodriguez and Danny Trejo will try to will into existence through film marketing or black magic. The speculative trailer features the now overly-familiar Grindhouse fuzz that blankets everything else Rodriguez has done for the past half decade, as we see Trejo traipse around a space ship getting with the babes and introducing everyone else to the business end of his Lightsaber-esque machete, which is just as good for space gardening as it is for dismemberment. We're also treated to appearances from Michelle Rodriguez, Lady Gaga, a man in a silver mask who may or may not be Leonardo DiCaprio, and the friendly pop star droid companion, The Justin Beibot 5000 (now with less singing).  Machete Kills' low-box office gross has probably shot Rodriguez's dreams of a mexploitation space-opera in the kneecaps, but maybe that's a good thing. Before watching the trailer, we were initially excited at the prospect of a "Machete in Space" film, only to realize 30 seconds into it that we had already seen more than two lifetime's worth of a "Machete in Space" film — then we had to watch another whole minute and 15 seconds of it. It seems that Machete has indeed killed everything, even the guy who tapped Robert Rodriguez on the shoulder and told him that the joke is wearing thin. Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • The 'Hunger Games: Catching Fire' Panem Travel Guide
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 18, 2013
    Lionsgate As the Quarter Quell draws near, The Capitol feels that its citizens should experience the wondrous continent in all its glory. That's why were sending all of our citizens on a mandatory (not going is punishable by death) tour of all of the districts. In this travel guide, we will point out the sights and sounds of the districts that help the Capitol remain the best place to live in Panem! But don't wander from the tour (also punishable by death) or take any unauthorized photos (yep, death). Most of all, don't forget to have fun, but not too much fun (take a guess). District 1In this District, all of the Capitol's lovely luxury items are produced! So if you wondered where the lovely gems in your diamond brooch came from, that orphan over there probably dug 'em out of that mine. Here, they name their children fancy things like "Gloss" and "Glimmer." Aww, it's like they actually have money. It’s so cute how the lowly district mind thinks. This "career district" takes pride in training its children to compete as tributes in the Hunger Games. They are committed to sending only their best children to slaughter for our entertainment. How wonderfully loyal. Distict 2District 2 is the center of Panem’s weapon manufacture. This district also trains our nation's peacekeeping force to protect and serve not only the Capitol but the districts as well... and sometimes protecting and serving involves public whippings. You know, for peace. This is also a "career district," which means District 2 often offers several legitimate contenders for the Hunger Games. Keep your eyes peeled because you might see a future victor during your time here — or a future unmarked grave, it’s kinda hard to tell right now. District 3District 3 helps to engineer all of the wondrous gadgets and gizmos that make your day a little brighter. You can take tours of factories and get an inside look at all of the little child laborers that make the Capitol's most advanced trinkets buzz to life. The citizens of this district are well-versed in manufacturing and engineering. District 4District 4 is another wealthy district (relatively speaking of course — ha ha ha, poor people). The main trade of District 4 is fishing. It’s also the home district of lovely victor-turned-socialite Finnick Odair. We even kicked out his few living relatives to turn his childhood home into a museum dedicated to the young man, because the Capitol cares about history and preservation. District 5District 5 is the engine that keeps Panem running. This district maintains Panem’s sprawling power grid, and diverts the power to each district and the Capitol (... mostly the Capitol). This district doesn’t have all that much success in the Hunger Games but they always give a spirited performance. You can thank them for the energy that powers the traditional yacht every citizen of the Capitol receives on his fifth birthday. District 6This District’s main industry is transportation. They help build the infrastructure that our trains, planes, and automobiles rely on. Unfortunately the people in this district are susceptible to the crippling disease of addiction. It’s sad that such weak minded persons can’t resist the temptation of drugs. Too bad they can't live cleanly and healthily like those of us in the Capitol. Why don’t they just go on a juice cleanse or something? It's not that hard. District 7District 7 is one of the poorer districts in Panem, but they have a job of great importance. The area surrounding the district is blessed with forest filled with the sprawling oaks and spruces that go into making the Capitol’s finest furniture, houses, and other wooden comforts. Lumbering is of course dangerous, but the proud inhabitants of District 7 are more than proud to give up a finger or two for your pleasure. District 8This heavily industrialized district manufactures the clothing and textiles in the Capitol. Silks, cottons, satins, and wools that go into the garb of successful Capitol citizens are all made here. These people are so singularly focused on delivering the best fabrics to your doorstep that there is hardly any grass, trees, or any natural beauty to distract them. How dedicated! District 9District 9 is responsible for growing grain. This is where delectable baked goods like croissants, cupcakes, and cookies begin their lives. You know, I’m not sure if these people even know what a cookie is, ha! This district is also full of grain-processing factories as well as large stretches of wheat fields. District 10Here in District 10 is where all of the livestock of Panem is produced. From milk to chicken to beef, this is where all the food of the well-fed Capitol is produced. It may be difficult to tell the animals from the people in this district, but if you squint, you can just make who is who. They all just look like cows to me! We’ve actually cut cost by feeding the livestock and the people of Distict 10 the same food. See, the Capitol is always interested in passing on the savings to you.  District 11Distirct 11 is Panem’s garden. This is where the fabulous produce that lines the shelves at the Capitol's mega marts is grown. Here, the district is surrounded with plump orchards and fields that feed the Capitol’s gourmet tastes. Yum! Workers hum uplifting songs while they pick the finest fruits for your consumption. Don’t fret over the workers, they can’t eat any of your food. They’re happy with scraps. This is also the district of Rue, the little cutie tribute from last year’s games. Aww. Her death was definitely in our top 10 Hunger Games moments of last year. Such great entertainment! District 12Now this is a big one. You might have only been vaguely aware of this district's existence before last year’s Hunger Games, but that has certainly changed now. Here are the humble beginnings of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, tragic lovers and the winners of the historic 74th Hunger Games. In this district, the citizens mine the coal that helps heat the homes of the Capitol . Here you can visit Peeta’s bakery and regale his parents with your favorite moments from his near death experience in last year’s Hunger Games. Don’t buy anything from here, though, because their cakes are made with nasty District 12 flour. Just stare at them and take pictures. It's like meeting celebrities! Dirty, poor celebrities. Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @CurrentlyJordan //
  • Aaron Paul's 'Need for Speed' Looks Crazy, But Maybe Not Crazy Enough
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 18, 2013
    Aaron Paul has a need. A need for a paycheck. After making a show as revelatory as Breaking Bad, sometimes you need to take on something a couple of steps down on the prestige scale. Something that embraces film's basest pleasures, like a movie about cars driving really fast. Paul hits the throttle hard in the newest trailer for Need for Speed. The best player in the World for movie trailers, Hollywood interviews and movie clips. The trailer gets us up to speed on the troubles of Tobey Marshall, a racer who is wrongly imprisoned for his friend's death and vows to get revenge against his rival the only way he know how: by driving really, really fast. Rapper Kid-Cudi and Dominic Cooper are along for the ride, but the standout is Michael Keaton, who spouts grandiose lines about motor oil and vehicular vengeance like some sort of grease monkey poet laureate. NeedforSpeed/YouTube So far, the film looks like Fast & Furious-lite. It's willing to flirt with the absurdidy of that other "cars go really fast" franchise, but not willing to fully commit to the depths of that series' craziness... craziness that sometimes feels just a hair away from a Speed Racer cartoon. In any case, this film should give you a small dose of adrenaline before Fast & The Furious series turns the corner to give you the full shot next summer. Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @CurrentlyJordan //
  • Watch 'Breaking Bad' Get That 'Malcolm in the Middle' Ending We All Joked About
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 18, 2013
    TVweb/YouTube Remember when we all scoffed at the idea of Bryan Cranston playing the lead in a drama about meth manufacturing? No? Well, television has come full circle this past weekend with the release of a Breaking Bad alternate ending that see’s the landmark television series ending just a tad differently. In a DVD extra from the upcoming box set, we see Walter White, filled with empire-building bravado, tell a rival drug dealer to "Say my name" before the scene shifts to Hal, the hapless dad from Malcom in the Middle, waking up in a cold sweat and recounting to his wife the horrors of a dreamed up version Albuquerque. A place where the Cranston incarnation was a dangerous (yet still pantsless) meth dealer, and a waif dressed in his older brother's clothes slung around phrases like "Science, B-word!" Jane Kaczmarek reprises her role as Lois and still has all of the bristle and edge she had back in Malcom in the Middle's heyday. It’s fun to hear some of Breaking Bad’s most memorable moments through Hal's perpetually terrified perspective, and it’s also great to see Bryan Cranston, after five years of slowly becoming a brutal meth dealer, instantly reverted into a quivering puddle of mush that can't even manage to curse in front of his wife. Hats off to the loving homages to Breaking Bad, Malcolm in the Middle, and the comedy of Bob Newhart in this new clip. We'll miss you, Walt. Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @CurrentlyJordan //
  • 'The Heat' Is Getting a Spin-Off
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 15, 2013
    The Heat/YouTube All "Naahcs" beware. Director Paul Fieg is developing a spin-off to last summer's surprise hit The Heat that focuses on Beth and Gina, the loveably trashy relatives of Melissa McCarthy's character in the film. Jamie Denbo and Jessica Chaffin, who played the two characters, left a heavy impression on not only audiences, but Fieg himself. “Jamie and Jessica are two of the funniest people on this planet,” Fieg said “They took small roles in The Heat and turned them into characters worthy of their own movie. I can’t wait to unleash Beth and Gina on the world. Run for your lives.” Fieg has worked with the Denbo and Chaffin previously when he directed the Showtime pilot Ronna & Beverly, and when he produced six episodes of a Ronna and Beverly talk show for the UK's Sky Atlantic. Even though a specific plot for the Beth and Gina film hasn't been ironed out just yet, we can't wait to see whatever hi-jinks the classless duo will unleash on the eager movie-going public. Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @CurrentlyJordan //
  • Will Smith Will Destroy New York Again (But in a Nice Way, This Time) in 'City That Sailed'
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 15, 2013
    Columbia Pictures Can love be selfish? If it causes an entire city to detach from its underpinnings and sail across the ocean, it just might be. Deadline reports that Will Smith and director Shawn Levy are teaming up for the upcoming fantasy film, City That Sailed, which will tell the story of a New York father (Smith) whose love for his estranged daughter, living overseas, is so strong that it causes the island of Manhattan to break free from the rest of New York City and sail across the Atlantic towards her. Shawn Levy, who directed other bombastic family films like the Night of The Museum series should feel right at home with this seafaring island family flick. Writer Audrey Wells (The Game Plan, Under the Tuscan Sun) is on board as screenwriter. While this film sounds like a funny and harmless family film about making and mending connections, one man’s reunion movie is clearly everyone else’s disaster film. What about the insane amount of damage to infrastructure and the loss of human life that would occur if Manhattan suddenly jettisoned across the Atlantic? But at least this one guy got to see his daughter again. It’s not like he could have booked a flight or anything, or (if he's low on cash) sent a nice postcard. On thing's for sure: New Yorkers are gonna be pissed when they find out ther real reason Midtown is the newest addition to the European Union. Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @CurrentlyJordan //
  • 'Anchorman Jr.'? Director Adam McKay Teases a Possible Spin-off
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 14, 2013
    DreamWorks via Everett Collection If you could hop in a time machine, travel back to 2004, and tell the producers of the original Anchorman that their film would become the most omnipresent cinematic property of 2013, just how long would it take them to stop laughing before calling the insane asylum? Improbable as it may be, Anchorman has somehow rode a steady wave of Internet memes and oft-repeated quotes from a modest box-office hit into a legitimate comedy mega-franchise, with companies from Jockey to Chrysler using the moustachioed, scotch-swilling dufus, Ron Burgundy to sell everything from colored briefs to Dodge Durangos. The graduation from everyday film to film franchise isnt complete without some possible spin-off news. Director Adam McKay has said in an interview with Collider that he is planning a new G-rated Anchorman installment that follows Ron Burgundy's son, Walter Burgundy, and the family dog Baxter. The speculative project would detail the young Burgundy's adventures while his father Ron is away. This spin-off is a completely zany idea that fits right into the mad cap lapse in logic that the Anchorman films thrive on. So what G-rated adventures could Walter Burgundy and Baxter be up to? Why don’t we take some uneducated guesses. Walter Burgundy commits a hostile takeover of his grade school's news program.Ron Burgundy's son isn't nearly as goofy and harmless as his dad. While he does take after his dad's love of '70s suits and his extreme fondness for facial hair (his moustache is mighty impressive for a grade-schooler), he has far more in common with another famous Walter from Albuquerque. He still possesses his father's intense love for local televised journalism, but he would rather see San Diego Elementary quivering under his boot than move up the ranks in the journalism world the slow way. Welcome your new overlord, San Diego! Walter and Baxter fight the news programs from other schools.Just like the legendary scene in the first Anchorman, we imagine that Walter and Baxter will get into a street fight with the news programs from other elementary schools, but this fight will probably have fewer tridents and grenades, and more wedgies and purple-nurples. Cameos from Wes Mantooth Jr. and a tiny Tim Robbins, perhaps? Walter and Baxter look for loveThe grade school news game can get pretty lonely. Tired of drowning his sorrows in a couple fingers of apple juice each night, Walter rallies Baxter to go out and find love. The two hit the streets of San Diego to impress the pretty fourth graders. Good thing Ron Burgundy taught his son a thing or two about the most seductive instrument of them all: the jazz flute. Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @CurrentlyJordan //
  • Don't Mess with Christian Bale in Exclusive 'Out of the Furnace' Pictures
    By: Jordan Smith Nov 14, 2013
    Relativity If there's one thing going to the movies has taught me over the years, it's not to get Christian Bale's bad side. In these exclusive pics from the film Out of the Furnace, Bale looks like he's getting good and ready to kick some teeth in. In the film, Russell Baze (Bale) is a man on a mission, seeking small-town American revenge when his brother Rodney (Casey Affleck) goes missing and a local crime lord (a sneering Woody Harrelson) is suspect number one. Out of the Furnace, Scott Cooper's sophomore effort after Crazy Heart, looks to have all the trappings of a great thriller, with the two brothers' relationship remaining the beating heart of a film with revenge on its mind. Who's ready for a slide into the Rust Belt's murky underworld? Check out these exclusive shots below: Relativity Relativity Follow @Hollywood_com // Follow @CurrentlyJordan //